• Published 24th Nov 2012
  • 1,730 Views, 18 Comments

Eternal Sunshine of the Spikeless Mind - UtterlyLudicrous



It's easy enough to erase somepony from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story.

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Chapter 7

LALUNA, INC.
210 E GALA ST.

Well, this looks like the place, Spike thought as he pushed the door open and walked inside.


"Good morning, Laluna... No, I'm sorry, that offer expired after Winter Wrap Up day." Spike walked up a small flight of stairs and saw before him a simple-looking waiting room, populated by a few scattered ponies and a blonde pegasus receptionist with a bit of a lazy eye, speaking into a telephone receiver.

"..Yeah, sure, we can fit you in... Hmm.. How about on the fifth? Yep, that's a Wednesday. Alrighty, great, could you spell that name out, please? I have trouble with spelling long names sometimes.." Spike looked around the receptionist's desk. There was an old computer surrounded by files, calendars with appointments scribbled lazily all over them, a plain white telephone, and a printer busy writing up cards just like the one Spike read:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Sprinkle,

DAISY SPRINKLES has had GOLD BOULDER removed from her memory. Please never mention their relationship to her again.

Thank you,
Laluna, Inc.
210 East Gala St, Ponyville, Equestria

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Charger,

CLAUDIO CHILL has had CHRIS NORR removed from his memory. Please never mention their relationship to hIm again.

Thank you,
Laluna, Inc.
210 East Gala St, Ponyville, Equestria

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Goldmare,

ELIZA NEIGHMAN has had BEVERLY ROXY removed from hermemory. Please never mention their relationship to her again.

Thank you,
Laluna, Inc.
210 East Gala St, Ponyville, Equestria

Spike could only stare in disbelief. He had never heard of a procedure to erase ponies from memory before. The idea of it fascinated and terrified him.

"Okay, and we'll need a daytime phone number so we can reach you when the appointment comes.. Great, have a nice day. See you then. Bye now.. May I help you?" The receptionist seemed to have a million things to do, and she addressed Spike without looking up at him.

"I'm, uh.. I'm Spike Barish."
"Excuse me?"
"Spike. Barish? I have an appointment with Dr, um.."
"Whoovezwiak. Here, could you fill this out?" The receptionist handed Spike a clipboard and a blank form.
"I just wanted to talk to him."
"I'm sorry, sir, you still have to fill this out."
"I don't have a pen,"
"There are quills right over there," the receptionist said as she picked up the receiver to take another call. "Good morning, Laluna.. Oh, yeah, that offer's done, it expired after Winter Wrap Up day."


"Mr. Barish? Dr. Whoovezwiak will see you now," the receptionist called out to Spike. The flustered dragon stood up and followed the receptionist into the hallway.
"How are you today, Mr. Barish?"
"Not doing so well, actually."

"BOO!!" a pale orange pegasus with black-rimmed glasses jumped out at the receptionist, who jumped back in surprise and began to laugh. "OH, Celestia, Stan, don't do that! I'm working!" Spike edged past Stan, who looked peculiarly familiar, and followed the receptionist into Dr. Whoovezwiak's office.


"Here you go, Doctor," the receptionist said as she handed him the form Spike filled out and put her hoof on his shoulder. The doctor glanced up at her. "Thank you, Derpy." The pale brown doctor put on his glasses and read over the letter. He looked up at Joel. "You should not have seen this. I sincerely apologize."

Spike paused for a second, and leaned in closer to the doctor. "This is some sort of a hoax, right? I mean, this is Dash we're talking about--"

"I assure you, it is not a hoax," the doctor said, and Derpy quietly agreed before picking up her papers and walking slowly away from the room, turning her back as she left and smiling at the doctor.

"There's no such thing as this. I mean there's no way there can be," Spike said in disbelief.
"Look, our files are confidential, Mr. Barish; I'm legally not allowed to tell you anything more. Suffice it to say that Miss, uh.. Miss Dash.."


"Suffice it to say that Miss Dash was not happy, and wanted to move on, We provide that possibility." Spike repeated the words to Twilight back at the library later that day, still in utter disbelief. "I mean, what the hell is that? I'm the nicest guy she ever went out with, even if I am a dragon."

In the other room, Masquerade could be heard working on a hammer and nail, and swore. "Celestia, Masquerade, give it a rest!!" Twilight said exasperatedly. "Twilight, I am making, a birdhouse. Don't get on my case if I want to build something now and again!" Steam came out of Twilight's ears and then dissipated as she turned back to Spike.

"What can I say, Spike? You know Dash.. She's like that, she's.. Impulsive. She decided to erase you almost as a lark." Spike sat down, thinking and blinking back tears. "A lark," he said after awhile.


Later that night, an old cart with a deep tear in the wood could be seen underneath a lamppost, not going anywhere, but with an obviously distressed dragon sobbing inside.


"Wait, wait, wait, Mr. Barish, you can't go in there, the doctor is working!" The receptionist tried to hold Spike back in the hallway to no avail. Spike approached Doctor Whoovezwiak in a green beanie and said definitively, "I want it done. Get Dash out of my memories." The receptionist chimed in, "I tried to tell him to stay back, I warned him Hearts and Hooves Day is our busy time.."
"No, no, Derpy.. That's, that's okay, Derpy. He can have the procedure done."
"But there are people waiting."
"Mr. Barish, if you'd like to.. If you'd like to come inside.."

Annoyed, the receptionist returned to the lobby to take another call. "Good morning.. Laluna."


Doctor Whoovezwiak took a seat across the desk from Spike. "Now.. The first thing we need you to do, Mr. Barish, is to go home, and collect everything you own that might have some association with Rainbow Dash. Anything. Letters, pictures, drawings, clothing, journal entries, mixtapes she may have made for you, gifts, rings, racing accessories. And we'll utilize these items to create a map of Rainbow Dash in your brain. Our plan is to empty your home.. And empty your life.. of Rainbow Dash. And after the map is created, one of our trained technicians will do the erasing in your home.. Tonight. That way, when you wake up in the morning, you will find yourself in your own bed, in your own home, as if nothing had happened, and as if Rainbow Dash had never come into your life. A new life will be awaiting you. Come in later today with every association of Rainbow Dash you have, and we'll begin the procedure."


Spike ignored Twilight and Masquerade's hello's as he walked through the door. He didn't hear them say they were leaving for a week that afternoon, and frankly, he wouldn't have cared even if they were listening. He started with his room; pictures of he and Rainbow Dash still covered his bulletin boards, his walls, the borders of his mirrors. He got two trash bags and began to throw everything in. Pictures, books, clothes, drawings. He'd thrown his last cassette from Rainbow Dash into the rainy night, so that was taken care of. He scoured the house, sometimes finding things, sometimes not. When his first trash bag filled up, he quickly grabbed another one and filled it up, as well, mostly with racing accessories he had gotten as gifts from Rainbow Dash; he had never been a racer, but Dash wanted him to be one, so she would always take things from the store and give them to him. Spike thought it a shame that they'd never be used, but into the trash bags they went.

The last thing to get rid of was the toughest thing to get rid of. Sitting on a dusty old shelf in a deserted corner of the house was a custom-made Daring Do figurine, made from an apple and a few bits and pieces of toys from Rainbow Dash's childhood. It had meant a lot to her; she had given it to him for their one-year anniversary. Choking back a tear, Spike put it in the bag and walked out the door before he would let himself break down again.


Ponyville was always something of a busy place in the middle of the day. Carts ran across the streets, ponies ran to and from various stores, and there was always a line at Sugarcube Corner. An agitated-looking dragon raced across the street with two large black trash bags in his hand, and had a close call with a stallion-cab before finishing his trek across the street and walking into a thin opening to a building labeled LALUNA, INC. ; 210 E GALA ST.


"No, I'm sorry, Mrs. Sprinkle. You can't have the procedure done three times in one month.... Well, it's just not our policy.." Derpy covered the receiver with her hoof and greeted Spike: "How are you today, Mr. Barish? .. Yes.. Hello, I'm right here, Mrs. Sprinkle. I know it's an emergency, and we'll do everything we can... How about the first of March? Maybe you could speak with Dr. Whoovezwiak about.. Alright, so let's make an appointment.. What day would you like to come in this week? .. Well, he's really busy this afternoon.. Maybe tomorrow would be better. How's 12:15 sound?"

"Ah, Mr. Barish, are you ready to begin?" Dr. Whoovezwiak greeted Spike personally in the waiting room and beckoned him to come inside.

Spike looked at the bags in either claw. They were slightly torn at the top from when he was rushing through Ponyville and his claws had dug into the plastic. He was sweating and his heart was beating as fast as Dash's Rainboom, but he took a deep breath and stood up straight.

"I'm ready. Let's begin."
"Right this way, please. Doctor Whoovezwiak will see you now."

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