This was never meant to happen, but it did. Due to a magical mix up, Twilight and her friends find themselves seperated on Earth. Now Twilight, with the help of a human named Andrew, will have to track them all down and return home. But can they save Rainbow Dash from the Air Force, Pikie Pie from the circus, Rarity from the hands of an evil jewel merchant, and Fluttershy from a group of enviromental terrorists?
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The story could use editing. It's got some misspelling and a few punctuation issues.
Having said that, this has potential. I don't think I've seen this idea before. It's very good for a first story.
All in all, I'd call this a promising start. No major issues with readability thus far, either, though there is one small alteration I might suggest:
Seems somehow less appetizing that way.
Pretty original, I haven't seen a PoE like this before
If anyone can help with some art work for the cover, it will be a great help. If you can, leave a comment here or contact Darthvalgaav through his email at zajdelad@rock.com.
Then she felt something stroking her main in a soothing manner.
Well, things are looking bad for Rarity.
At least the rest of them are somewhat safe. Well, until that cult realizes that Fluttershy isn't some devine being. 
Another thing, I wonder which pnoy is being watched by a member of that council thingy. My money is that its Pinky Pie.