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First view! And love the chapter bro. Keep up the awsome work!

Curse you speed you elude me yet again

They agreed upon on two weeks without realizing or telling each other haha.

Just two weeks... I only gotta wait two weeks... but I only gotta wait six days until Dead Space 3, i'll be there for ya Milky.

I get the feeling he accidentally sent one of the photos containing Milky to his parents.
Shit's about to hit the fan. Good thing I brought an umbrella.

I should get some sleep.

wait

chocolate + feed x Milky Way = no chocolate milk?

Wait dead space3 is coming out next week hell yeah!

Commence read.

Well, they seem to be off to a nice start.
Seems two weeks is what it will take. Now for the family to visit and other store patrons to cause problems.

Nice.

It's kind of funny and ironic that they both thought of the same thing in the end, but that's what love is or dating is that what it's called?

haha 2 weeks full of trouble ahead of them i guess
nice played

Yeah no way you brought up the idea of a picture with milky being sent to his parents type situation without actually doing something with it.
Ahem, anyways, I like how you've evolved this story so far. Keep it up bro.

MOAR!! NOA!!!

I'm loving this so much more please omg.

2046281
this is what a fail looks like.

Heck yeah!

If you, at the end of the two weeks, have them each deciding not to tell each other, I will cry so many tears that you will drown in a river of my sadness. Don't think I won't! I'll do it!

Loved it!

already love it, but that part when it mentions im not a cofee person, that's when i have to say bullshit.

I'll be doing a live narration of Chapter 3 tonight. I'll post that up on Youtube, along with the Chapter 2 narration I did last week.

Prepare to shoot milk out of your nose.

2059485 Awesome.

Good job on the chapter. Giving the characters time to interact with each other helps them grow.
Still thoroughly enjoying the story.
Keep it up.

Really though, you should get some sleep.
you should get some sleep
get some sleep
sleep
2am when I read that last line and for some reason I feel inclined to ask you, was that a nod to the readers?

2083666
Same lol . It's 11:30 AM and I still haven't slept yet. Pretty hard to, what with all of this awesome fanfiction to read .

Yes!
I seriously wish that romance was easy like this

When we last left our heroes: pancakes. Now, the thrilling conclusion.

… “way when ever she” – ‘when ever’ should be one word: ‘whenever’.
… “sneaking a peak at” – ‘peak’ should be ‘peek’.
… “the castle You made” – There needs to be a period after ‘castle’.
… “from Milky’s store, her house, and the various landmarks.” – Since you used ‘from’ at the start, a more correct form of wording would be “from Milky’s store, and her house, to the various landmarks.”
… ““I see.” You nod.” – Should ‘you’ be capitalized?
… ““...I won’t…” You close” – Same issue as above.
… “ wanted.” She sighs” – Same issue as above, again.
… “He’s nice, charming, kind individual” – There should be an ‘a’ between ‘He’s’ and ‘nice’.
… “Maybe because you are only staying for a couple weeks is scaring her off.” – The use of ‘because’ should be replaced by ‘the fact that’.

The sightseeing tour could have been written a lot better: You got kicked out of two places by guards and there was barely anything described about the locations. It’s not often that I read a work and outright can’t get immersed into the scenery when a new location is brought up, but this was certainly one of those times.

As for the starting and final scenes, it was wonderful work. The dairy was pretty much what I expected, and while I kind of wish more had happened, I also see that what you put in was enough: Satisfying. The bedroom, of course, was vividly described, as well as the sudden switch to third-person narrative with bold text, in order to describe the things that we could not see Milky Way doing, yet explaining it to us.

I do believe this chapter review is complete, and… wait, what’s that?

Really though, you should get some sleep.

Hey! You can’t just put subliminal messages like that into your stories! I haughtily ignore this statement! Seriously, authors these days think they can be sooooo clever by placing sentences like that in their works to manipulate the minds of their viewers, it’s a disgrace, is what it is!
... Jeez, all that rage has made me kinda spent... Where was I again?

Really though, you should get some sleep.

Yeah, I guess you’re right.

2235702 I really appreciate the assistance you are providing. It helps me out a ton.

Thanks.

Adorable story.
Though my friend had a father like that. Then again that same person needs dentures to eat anything harder than mashed potatoes after he fell down some stairs...

Now, I'm in it to for the plot, not the "plot" , his parents better allow it.

Awk, this is awesome. Funny and heart warming, I fucking love it.

Flattery gets you everywhere with me.

bahahaha sorry just had to

Well, hot damn.

I am actually upset with myself for not continuing this after part one for as long as I did. Every note this story is hitting is fucking great. I have his expectations of the rest of this. There's really smart and intellectual subplots going on in the background. This is my kind of story and it's written really well. Can't wait to finish this.

All this lovey stuff is hitting me in the feels like a truck cant wait to reed more

I'm loving this story you did an amazing job with it :)

“Thanks.” Milky says with gratefulness, “It would have taken him forever to go, if you weren’t here.”

Isn't that kinda bad for business though?

Really though, you should get some sleep.

Hilarious. It's a classic case of "I didn't know they reciprocated my feelings"

Great story i only ever heard the first chapter. I like the pacing and character development here. Plus it seems as if they were destined to meet and be together. I have a theory that Milky Way is the filly "I" had a crush on and kissed back in school before the parents forced "me" to leave and this is destiny say "What the fuck i want these two to be together i have plans for them" which is why they connected in more ways than one after only knowing each other for less than a day. Again it's destiny saying "FINALLY i got these 2 together now i can continue my plan for them" Again this is only my theory. I have to read more to see if my theory is correct or not.

Fabulous how this relationship is blooming