Twilight has kept secrets, from her mentor, and from her friends.
But when Fluttershy accidentally discovers her biggest secret, she and her friends become involved in the darker parts of Equestria and its past.
A war has been raging in the background since long before Celestia and Luna were born, and now Twilight Sparkle leads it. Can she and her friends change the world for the best, or will Twilight become nothing but the monster her kind are made out to be?
You can never make the world perfect, but you can always change it for the better.
Chapters (35)
Now this I like
I think this was rather well written, so have an upvote and a fav.
This is really good! Favoriting now
I'll wait to see where the story goes before favorite-ing, but it seems promising!
Interesting start.
The last sentence has one "couldn`t" too much, methinks
1682082 Thanks for telling me, don't know how that got there
You need a question mark in there.
Seems interesting, though you may want to work on improving your dialogue as it is a bit stilted all the way through. If you can get it to flow better then the story will be much stronger for it.
For a story that is an example of great dialogue and overall flow of the story, see Growing Pains.
A more specific change to consider is having Rarity say she learned about what those magics are as being educated on what types of magic are illegal is part of standard unicorn education. And if you need her to be better at magic than she is portrayed as in the show, then in light of her adventures with the gang she has been working on her magic, possibly with some tutoring from Twilight.
Oh this is going be good
1696334 Fixed
As for dialogue running more smoothly, it's not my greatest talent, and I don't think I'll be able to improve this chapter without just giving up and leaving it as it is, that's just my personality, although I might try to improve on it if I have some spare time.
Rarity had some 'Bad experiences' during her time at the school, so she doesn't talk about it much, and often attempts to forget she even went there. While she's educated in advanced magics, using them often brings back bad memories, and while she lack's Twilight's magical power and unique training, she's very precise with magic and often has little difficulty casting spells so long as they're within her power level. As for learning about the magics themselves, it isn't something generally known about, and as she stated is only briefly mentioned in highly advanced classes. What unicorns learn as part of general education is that there are evil and sometimes illegal magics in the world, and using them can, unless done properly, often result in random effects, misfires, and negative effects on the caster, and only general dark magic is touched upon specifically.
Hope my monologue cleared up a few questions, and as for chapter two, I'm expecting it to be released before next Wednesday, but we'll see if that actually works out for me.
I find it odd that Twilight has difficulties while walking in her vampony form, or whatever you call it. She must have done that before, right? Or did I miss something here. Could be that
VampTwilight usually has Badass Twilight in there somewhere...so I'm going to fav this and like this...I also thought it was well written, dood.
wow, the last scene actually had me crying,
nothing sweeter and sadder than FS crying and showing affect even in her last moments 
Ah hem: Awesome fanfiction. Even better than Vampony! I can only say one thing i dislike about this: NEEDS MORE CHAPTERS. DO IT. NAOWWWWWWWWWWW.
3423054yay
Awesome!
I have wanted to read a story like this one for some time now... but each one i see... they don't last all to long and are just discarded... please keep this one going! It has very interesting qualities about it, i will be watching this for future chapters and such, thank you for this wonderful story :D
Definitely watching this
It's only paranoia when you're wrong.
What you wrote:
What I read:
I love my Winning-fier script.
amazing so far! Very well written i feel like im in skyrim haha. Hopefully fluttershy didnt bite off more then she can chew. We will find out.
grammar needs work but this looks interesting :)
Following this.
Let's see where it takes us before I start thinking of pressing that like button.
Keep up the good work aready getting the hint of Darren Shan meets MLP but i like Darren Shan vampires so i am looking forward to more chapters
3508173 Um... I would likely be able to make more of an accurate response if I actually understood any of what you just said
. Oh well, at least I can still "Keep up the good work"...
then/than ; your/you're
there are differences!
question: are the members of twilights family vampires too or not?
3523322 That will be explained soon, don't worry about it.
ya updates! I love ya man keep it up!
Well, on the plus side, at least now Fluttershy doesn't need to worry about Twilight's heart imploding from practicing blood magic.
I hope that the letter that she sent was written in some kind of code.
Just found this story in the featured box. Gotta admit that it is really good so far and I can't wait to see what you do with it.
god dammit
THERE ARE MORE MONSTERS THAN JUST FUCKING VAMPIRES.
I'm tired of vampires.
3853080 Yeah! What about werewolves! Where is the werewolf love!?
3853128
...You're saying that like werewolves aren't JUST as over used.
LETS HAVE A ROUGAROU!
3853142 The only werewolf I have ever seen, in any story, is in one where Vinyl is a Vampire, and Octy is a Werewolf. That's it. Vampires? Every single main 6 pony has at least 6 different stories about each of them being a vampire. Werewolves are under used!
Also I have no idea what a Rougarou is, so it must not be very good.
i love vampire pony fics but everyone that i read is never finished i hope this can be finished and have more than twilight and fluttershy
Gah I know there's a movie when a boy got turned into a vampire and basically doing everything common to a vampire. If someone know which movie I'm talking about please tell me the title?
3853128 But vampires are cool
So far so good and here's a song that might give you some motivations to work this story more often
3853048 Seriously... I didn't think it was that good...
Unfortunately, I didn't catch it for myself, would have loved to have seen that.
3853355
Or you've never watched Supernatural.
I demand you do so.
And I don't mean just ponies. Vampires and Werewolves are all anyone writes about when it comes to monsters. They flood the media and i'm sick of them.
3854732 If that's your opinion then you're entitled to it, but please take your arguments elsewhere.
Good to see another update, keep it up man
Do what you gotta do bro, just don't stop this I am enjoying it so far
Suspension of disbelief broke right there. The second half of this was a bit strange of a direction for her to go in with her line of questioning, and there doesn't seem to be a logical reason for her to have made that connection.
As a result, the rest of the chapter feels terribly rushed.
4868950 I finished this chapter almost two years ago, so it was lower quality than more recent chapters, and minor changes to the original plot have occurred since.
To the best of my knowledge, Fluttershy's line was rationalized as a logical next step after finding out that the magics were fatal or dangerous to the pony using them, and justified by the changeling invasion having occurred only a few months prior. Fluttershy believed that Twilight's evasiveness was out of character, and reacted with the logical probability that she may have been replaced with an imposter.
It likely would have been better off if it followed dialog pertaining to if a pony could in any way use it safely, and probably was meant to trigger Rarity's memory on blood magic and vampires.
You keep using "your" instead of "you're" in a lot of places. Remember that "you're" is short for "you are".
Fave and like cuz Twilight+vampire+was updated 2(!) times this month
Too long chapters are a myth.
There're only too short ones(unless they're filled with errors/mistakes and it hurts to read)
Ehh... I do think there should be a comma between 'am' and 'Twilight'. As it is now, Spike is saying he is Twilight.
5029408 Fixed, thanks!