Could this be paradise?

by Timemaster

A place demons fear.

My vision is all but clear, zoning in and out. The gentle breeze taunting me, seeming to whisper to my cold, dying body. My arms, covered in blood, show signs of burns and other such things.

I am on a chair, tied up like some freaking animal, and a gag in my mouth.I was crying, but I have cried for so long that my tears have all dried up. My mouth was dry, for I haven't had water in days.I have seen things that would break the minds of other people, but I had will. I had hope.

I hear loud voices coming from right beside me, but my ears have been ringing for hours non-stop, making all sound like mumbles.

*Whap*

The man beside me hit me with the butt of his gun, continuing to scream at my near-deaf and near-blind body. Blood trickles down my face, making me feel weaker than I already was.

I am no victim.

...I am a murderer... or so they say.

A year ago, I was captured and placed into this prison for charges of nearly slaughtering people on a day I was out of my country.

I was framed, but they never gave me the chance of court, for they believe I nearly killed someone they held more dear than the creator, if it is real.

Their king.

I was blamed for nearly bombing King Garfield Louisville III and for that, I never got a court.

I was never put on trial, I was nearly be-headed, and I did something that 'proved' that I was the killer.

I killed a guard. His body going limp within my young hands, clawing at me, trying to escape...

I was delusional, my young teenage body could not take this. I knew what I had done, and surrendered.

I hoped that they would kill me, so that I could face the consequences in the after-life, but instead...

I was put into this place, this prison, where I was only fed once a month, beaten nearly to death each day, and tortured to the highest ways possible.

This unforgiving prison, full of dead gray stone walls, had blood along each wall, but from who is my question.

I had hope, but each day it was dwindling. I had begun to hope for death, hoping for an end to this torture, but death took a long time to come.

...

It took a full year of torture and anorexia to finally kill me.

I did not die nicely, for what torturer would allow that?

I died, my body hanging upside-down and arms burnt.

I guess they finally had enough with torturing only me, for a few days ago, I could have sworn I saw another man being pulled in here.

Before I died though, I did say one thing. The only thing I had said in that torture room ever.

"Thank you..."

---

I feel a burn, worse than any fire on Earth, for it did not warm me. It chilled me through the bone. My body tensed up, knowing what was to come.

The fire, wrapping around me, started to freeze my body in place.

Expecting something Hellish to happen, I was surprised to be greeted by something large.

A sun-like object, brighter than the chilling fires, warms my frozen body from the inside.

My face, covered in tears and blood, takes on an emotion of confusion, for this was Hell, wasn't it?

The sun-like object started to glow, long lines of yellow eliminating all of the fire around me.

"I will give you a choice." It said, the voice sounding so calming and soothing.

"What are you?" I say, wishing to know the name of my savior.

The sun-like being turns sideways multiple times in quick succession, creating a large blinding light in the process. When the light receded, I saw something that made my jaw drop.

It looked just like me.

"I am not you, for I have no real form. I am but a mirror of the spirit realm, knowing nothing, but seeing all." It says, turning back into a sun in a giant snap of its fingers.

"What is the choice." I say, wanting to get to the point.

The being looks at me, a sunspot changed into s smile,and says,"I will give you another chance at life, but you will live forever. You will begin life as a child in a family, growing up and aging, until you hit 20. You will then never age. You will be stuck at that age for all of eternity, watching as everyone dies beside you."

I stare at the sun, my soul's eyes seeming to burn themselves.

'It must be better than this, but could I keep my sanity?'

I look at the sun, my decision made, and say,"I accept, but only if you let me name you."

The sun looks at me in confusion,"Is that your final wish?"

I nod at him,"Then what shall my name be?"

I look at him, my eyes, for the first time in a year, having hope in them,"You will be called Savior, for you have saved a hopeless soul like myself."

Savior smiles, and says,"I kindly accept that name, but this shall be the last you see of me, for your soul belongs somewhere else now. Begone."

He snaps his fingers, and I suddenly fly upwards, ascending towards my new life...

My new, immortal life.

---

On a farm in Ponyville...

Applejack and Big Macintosh are both enjoying some apple cider they keep for themselves each year, speaking small talk to one another.

Applejack was about to say a reply to one of Big Mac's jokes about how old she was, when a sudden *Thwomp* hit the door.

"Mac, what was that?" Applejack said to her brother.

Big Mac just smiles and points at the knocked out gray mare on the ground.

The mare stifles up, and says,"I am sorry I crashed, I just do not know what went wrong in my trick, but here is your mail!" she said excitedly, crossed-eyed.

Applejack takes the mail."Thank ya kindly, but isn't it your day off?" she said quizzically.

The gray mare just giggles and says,"Ei Mail crashed yesterday trying to impress his crush, so I got today's day and pay!"

Applejack smiles and says,"Well, you better go deliver all of your other mail-things, so why don'cha go quickly?"

The gray mare smiles and quickly flies away...

Cashing into a tree a mile away.

"I wonder what's in the-" she sees who it is from,"Granny! The mail is from Apple Lemon!"

Lemon Apple is the main producer of the insane magical phenomena called 'Lemon Apples'. Lemon Apples are created when a lemon tree is somehow fused with an apple tree, creating amazing apples that almost rival the Zap Apples.

"Well, read it to me! I am not asleep ya know!" Granny Smith says, a little excited.

"Alrighty then!" Applejack said.

"Dear all of the Apple family,

A dear friend of ours, Pollene Lemon, has gone to the hospital on a good notice. Her baby is ready to be delivered! They have asked all of the Apple family to come meet the new child when he/she is born! As we all know, Pollene Flowers and her husband Fire Lemon both have unicorn blood in their ancestory, so we do not know if it will be earth or unicorn! We will all be waiting at Si Addle, where we live.

If you wish to visit, take this ticket and follow the directions to the hospital!" Applejack said, happily.

"Whoohee! The Lemons are finally having their child!"Granny Smith said, jumping out of her chair.

The Lemons are long time friends of all of the Apple family, for they all love apples, while we love flowers too.

Granny Smith has been waiting for news on the baby, each and every fear creeping up on her and the rest of the family, but it seems that it has all been for nothing! The baby is healthy, and now the young foal/filly will have to meet all of the Apple family!

Granny Smith unlocks a secret compartment underneath her chair, revealing a shiny red button with a green apple on it.

Granny Smith presses the button and suddenly a large red apple reflected onto the clouds above, signaling for all Apples in Equestria that something good has just happened.

"Granny, I thought ya got rid of that button?" Applejack said, smiling.

"What button?" Granny Smith said, leaning back in her chair.

Applejack snickers as Granny Smith lulls back to sleep in her chair.

'We should start packing!'

Applejack runs to her room, grabbing all that she would need for the meet-up at Si Addle.

Collecting many things; Toothbrush, apple snacks, blanket, pillow, and a sheet of paper.

Applejack takes the sheet of paper, and her quill that Twilight let her keep a few days ago,and writes a note for all of her friends.

'Dear kindfolk of Ponyville,

The Apple family, including me of course, are goin' to Si Addle for a friend of my family is going to have a little foal/filly. We will return in a few days.

With sincere kindness,

Applejack.'

Smiling, she lays the note down on her front door, waiting for Big Mac to tell Applebloom and help her pack, Granny Smith to awaken, and Big Mac himself to pack.

Laying down in front of a large window, she watches as all of the animals play around...

falling asleep in the process.

Through her newfound heavy sleep, Big Mac lifted her to a carriage they had rented, carrying all of their stuff.

Though she was asleep, she knew that they were going somewhere, for there was alot of bumps on the road, messing with her dream.

But, her dream was so amazing that, in the end, she did not wake up till much later.

Applejack smiles, and mumbles,"No thanks Mrs Lemon... You cannot buy our recipe..."

Applejack, remembering a time after she had returned home as a filly, blissfully sees the first time she meet Mrs. Lemon.

Mrs. Lemon is a silly filly, for she wanted to buy the way we somehow made Zap Apples, but she soon found out it was caused by the Everfree...

When she found that out, she curled into a ball, for she is a scaredy cat. She is so very silly, but she is still a good friend to the family...

Applejack wonders what the filly/foal will look like for the rest of her dream. Smiling wider and longer...

---

I feel warmth.

Warmth of security and purity, making me want to stay forever.

I know where I am, but I do not understand how I can feel yet.

I am in the womb.

My body feels very different than my old human body...

How did my human body even feel? What was my name? Oh no...

I am forgetting things. This is very bad. This is really bad. I want to remember myself, I need to stay me, but someone is pulling at the strings of my mi-

...

"Its a foal!" I hear from a deep, calm voice.

I see very little in this bright room, but I can see two forms. One on a bed, the other beside it.

Are these my parents? Why am I in the hands of a stranger?!

I start to cry out to my mother, for I want to be held by her, not some stranger.

"Calm down, my son." a soothing voice said to me.

Halting my tears, I see my mother(?) on the bed, holding her hooves out to me.

The stranger bundles me up into a blanket, which had red things around it, and gives me to my mother(?).

I look up to her, tired, and my vision fades as sleep takes over me...

---

I wake up, after a long, peaceful, sleep, and see many individuals looking at me.

I nearly start to cry, but then I see that my mother is holding me. My mother, smiling, hands me over to an individual next to her slowly.

"Howdy there little one! I'm Applejack, a friend of your mother, and I can see you're a real cutey!" The kind mare, gently rocking me, makes me feel at ease. Knowing that she was nice and will not harm me, I allow her to pass me to the next pony.

The pony is much smaller than Applejack, and seemed to beam energy, as she held me,"Hi there little colt! I'm Applebloom, best sister Applejack will ever have, and I see you're so very tiny!" she starts to rock me a bit fast, but I know she means well... even though I cannot understand anything they are saying.

She passes me to a large, red pony who seemed to ooze knowledge above comprehension,"Hello young'un, I am Big Macintosh." he cradles me lightly, seeming to contradict his size, and passes me to an much older mare.

I fell asleep in her arms, for she felt tired too, and I smile.

'I have no idea what is going on.' I say in my mind.

I am nearly asleep when the old mare passed me over to my mother and fell asleep herself.

"I am sorry y'all, but Sour Lemon has to sleep!" my mother says to the individuals in the room.

...

Sour Lemon is my name, and I think I have just begun a game.

...

I dream of many things; Mom, dad, Apples, and apples.

I wonder what an apple tastes like?

Comments

[Timemaster]

(I will post Author's notes down here from now on.)

A/N: So, how was this concoction made when I was sorta sick on Thanksgiving? I have no idea why I made this, for it will make my other stories a little longer to finish, but I wanted to do it so myeh.

This will follow the life of Lemon Sour, each chapter placing a time in his newfound life.

He has no idea what he is in for.

!Post CONSTRUCTIVE criticism!

[Redderject]

Moar. I can happily say I have no idea what's going on [but in a good way!], the intro to fallout 3 is playing in my mind, and I offer you a complimentary mug of vodka for writing a story that doesn't suck!

[CloudTwister]

1671398
I agree with aforementioned. Less talk, more awesome. Sigh I can only imagine the great many things that could happen. Its scary to think about. that being said. Upvote and favorited

[Ekhidna]

DONT YOU DARE FORGET YOUR HUMAN LIFE! WE NEED YOU BACK ASA HUMAN TO BE THE GOD EMPEROR OF PONYKIND!!

[Star Plasma]

Ooh, very interesting synopsis. I will add this to my read it later list.

[Andreno]

You can clearly write well, but I have a number of personal issues with the story.

It feels like to me that you are trying too hard to be poetic and intelligent when you are writing, and it gives me a whole lot of the "trying too hard" vibe. And although you do describe things in a very interesting way, things seemed to not have as much explanation of what was really happening as I would have liked.

In the end, I do not really dislike the story, but at the same time I cant bring myself to like it.

Try not to take my comment personally, I am hardly an expert.

[Timemaster]

1672377 Lol, I made this while sick, so I probably DID try too hard

Have a good night, my friend.

[Timemaster]

1672042>>1671980>>1671690 Thank you guys.

There will be many great things to come, but for now he is still a baby, so do not expect anything humongous to happen soon.

There will be many things that ill happen soon though, so watch out for them!

[CloudTwister]

1672442
Aye Sir. -salutes-

[ZEknightJA]

Nice.

MOAR

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