Afterschool Special: Call of the No-Cutie
There's no shame in watching programming for foals. A lot of it is actually rather cerebral with a good dose of consideration. There's nothing like a cold carrot soda, some nachos and learning vital life lessons about getting along with others from talking bears. It's not that odd, seeing bears talk; they look somewhat intelligent normally.
The program ends and the credits come by, but they are pushed aside by a second screen, marked with the seal of the Ministry of Inter-Sentient Affairs and the logo of EBO. A voice speaks over the image. “The following is a special presentation of a joint production of the Ministry of Inter-Sentient Affairs and the Equestrian Broadcasting Organization.” The seal changes to that of the Royal Pony Sisters. “The following was personally witnessed and approved by the Royal Pony Sisters.”
The scene opens on a small town, similar to Ponyville. There are any number throughout Equestria, making them an easy setting for such a thing. The focus is on one building in particular, an unremarkable two-story family home, white exterior with a thatched roof, stiff with weatherproofing. While the camera pans around, showing a standard small front yard and modest back yard, with scattered toys indicating a child lives there, words appear on the screen. The Equestrian Broadcasting Organization presents a Ministry of Inter-Sentient Affairs/Equestrian Broadcasting Organization production. Created with the explicit blessing of the Royal Pony Sisters. 'Call of the No-Cutie'.
There is a blur transition, from the exterior to the inside of a bedroom. A cozy one, painted pink. Low pink chest of drawers, partially-open closet showing off a small collection of clothes, an open toy chest with a few standard toys inside. The bed is sized for a foal, with a white lace canopy over it and a ruffled pink bedskirt. The covers are pulled up over the occupant, an earth pony head the only thing protruding. Her coat color is a pale blue, while her mane is a more sky blue shade.
A male voice comes from below, “Saffy! Saffy! Time to get up! It's a school day!”
The filly stirs and scrunches her eyes in defiance, as though intending to remain in bed all day. She eventually relents, however, and throws the covers off of herself. It is then revealed that she is, in fact, a Diamond Pony, with the long arms ending in large hands, pony-designed legs and a thick torso. She leaps out of the bed and hits the floor with a soft clop, calling down, “Okay, daddy! I'm coming.”
She heads over to the closet and begins her wardrobe selection. The scene cuts through several comedic outfit choices before she settles on a sparkly pink vest and a pink skirt, as well as a sapphire-encrusted bow placed behind her left ear. After regarding herself in the mirror she skips down the stairs and into a short hallway that leads to a kitchen/dining area.
There is a pony at the table, a unicorn. He is a light blue color with a short white mane. In his magical grip he holds a newspaper and is also eating from a plate of pancakes and fresh fruit in syrup. On the other side of the room is a Diamond Dog female, a Dig Dog type in sky blue, wearing an apron and something halter-like around her waist, the construction very like the kind of maternity halters worn by nursing mares. The unicorn looks over the top of the newspaper and smiles at the Diamond Pony. “'Morning, pup. You excited for your first day in the new school?”
The filly hops up onto a chair at the table and looks down nervously. “I-I guess so. But this town is different from the other one. We're not near the Colonies and there aren't even any Diamond Dogs or Diamond Ponies I can see.”
The female Dog saunters up and sets down a plate of pancakes in front of the filly. A smiley face has been made on the top pancake with strawberry eyes, an orange mouth and plenty of syrup; unlike the stallion's plate there is also a sprinkling of blue and clear granules. “Eat up, puppy! Made favorite. Added sapphires, make your eyes pretty. Added calcite to make bones strong. Not good have too many treats.”
“Thanks mom.” Saffy smiles and starts eating the pancakes, crunching loudly on crystals. “I wish we were still back in the old town. All my friends were there.”
“Mm, yes. But, new jobs here. Father and I both work better here. Make more money. Easier take care of both you and brother. Oh, must feed puppy too.” The mother moves to a high chair holding another sky blue Diamond Pony. She can be seen in the background pulling aside the halter to allow the small puppy to nurse.
“I know you and mom needed work. But I was fine not having as many things. I liked it over there.” Saffy continues to eat, working her way through the pancakes very quickly. “It was home...”
“I know, sweetie, I know. We would have liked to have stayed on the border too. But there's more jobs for ponies further in Equestria. I mean, being a househusband is very common and traditional for ponies. But I wanted to give your mother the chance to take it easy on the job and more easily care for your brother. I not only take up the slack as far as hours go, we get ahead.” The unicorn ruffles Saffy's head. “Now get ready for school, pup. I'll be walking you there.”
The scene cuts to a shot of a standard elementary school, with several foals milling about in the playground. Saffy and her father stroll up to the front, the stallion leaning in to kiss his daughter on the forehead. “Be good, pup. I'll pick you up after school.”
“Alright, daddy.” She sighs and kisses her father back, turning then to regard the school. It is a simple school with a few rooms and tall bell tower portion. The playground is well-populated with ponies, and only pones. She notices, and the camera highlights, a grayish earth filly wearing a pair of trousers and a sweater, along with a hat that covered the whole top of her head playing with a green pegasus colt, his mane and tail a very brilliant shade of red. A pair of unicorn fillies converse together, giggling and pointing, one a light orange the other a soft yellow. Before any other foals come into focus the bell rings and all the foals start trotting into the school.
After a sigh the Diamond Pony makes her way slowly and reluctantly into the schoolhouse. As is typical for the strange geometries of Equestria the inside of the school leads to a few different small rooms. They are all at least clearly labeled and she enters the one for her grade. All conversation stops and all eyes shoot to her immediately. Among the occupants are the four foals shown from the exterior shot.
The teacher, a middle-aged unicorn mare with a blue mane and white coat, smiles and trots up to the filly. “Well hello there, dear. You must be my new student. My name is Mrs. Sloe Comb. Call me Mrs. Comb. Please come up to the front and introduce yourself.” Mrs. Sloe trots to the front and lightly taps on her desk. “Class, class, settle down. We have a new arrival to our little school. Don't be shy, dear. Come up and introduce yourself. Tell us where you are from and something about you.”
Sapphire steps up to the front of the class, lightly nibbling on her lip and fidgeting her fingers. “Umm... ummm... m-my name... my name is Sapphire Gleam. I come from Canem Cove, a mining town by the border with the United Colonies. Umm... about me... I'm a really good digger and my favorite rocks are sapphires, calcite and all the flavors of quartz.”
“Thank you, Sapphire. You may find a seat now.” Mrs. Sloe gently nudges Sapphire to a seat in the middle of the room, in the center of the stares and at the nexus of all the whispers. The worst thing is, she is between the orange and yellow unicorn fillies.
“Psst.” While Sapphire tries to focus on the introduction to the class. But the yellow unicorn is leaning in. “Psst.”
“Psst.” The orange one starts in, sincerely trying to get the Diamond Pony's attention.
Sapphire attempts to keep her focus, then it finally breaks. She looks between the two, speaking aside to the yellow filly, “Hey, what? Why are you bothering me?”
The filly whispers aside, “You're a Diamond Pony, right?”
Sapphire nods, a small, relieved smile crossing her features. “Yea, I am. I didn't know anyone here would know...”
The orange filly cuts her off, leaning in a bit more, “So, when will you get your Cutie Mark?”
Sapphire's face falls and she slumps a little in her seat. “I've been told that Diamond Ponies don't ever get a Cutie Mark. It's some magic thing.”
The two fillies look across at each other and give cruel grins. The yellow one leans in even more and whispers, “So... you're going to be a Blank Flank forever? Ha! Blank Flank!”
The orange filly joins in, whispering just loudly enough to let the surrounding foals hear but not alert the teacher, who is at the board writing things down. “Blank Flank! Blank Flank! Blank Flank!”
“Stop it!” Sapphire suddenly cries out with a growl, and finishes the threat with a few high-pitched barks. She immediately clamps her huge hands over her muzzle and blushes deeply, as all eyes come to rest on her, the teacher's included.
“I don't know how things went by the United Colonies, but we save that sort of boisterousness for recess time. Please try to keep that in mind.”
“Yes Mrs. Comb. Sorry Mrs. Comb.” Sapphire looks down to her desk, where she finds two notes that had been placed there during her embarrassing outburst. Both are on pink, scented paper, and both simply say 'Blank Flank for life.' A pained look crosses her face as the scene blurs into a transition.
The blur resolves into the front of the schoolhouse, with the bell ringing in the background. All the other foals are skipping or running off. Sapphire is dejectedly plodding along while the two unicorns pass her, both chanting, “Blank Flank, Blank Flank.”
Sapphire reaches the end of the school path alone, and finds her father there waiting for her. “Hey there, pup.” He looks down at her dejected features and softly scratches the side of his neck with a hoof. “Had that good of a first day, did you?”
“Daddy... can't we move back home to Canem Cove? M-maybe mister Stonecutter will hire you for something magical like rock sorting or lifting!”
“Saffy... this is our home now. I know it's strange and you don't have any friends but... please try to make it work. Okay? Come on, for your mom and me? It can't stay bad forever.”
Sapphire attempts to protest but only looks down and slumps her shoulders. “Alright, daddy... I'll try.”
There is a quick cut to dinner. Sapphire, her father and her mother are all sitting at the table. Her mother is also using only one hand to eat, the other cradling the small Diamond Pony pup by one uncovered teat. The dinner spread is a selection of steamed vegetables, bread, a cake and a bowl of mixed stones. Sapphire and her mother are eating from all the dishes, while the father takes only the vegetables and cake. After pulling the pup up from her midsection, Sapphire's mother asks, “So, how was school? Is fun?”
“It was... there.” Sapphire picks at her plate of gem-sprinkled greenery. She turns to her father to ask, “Daddy... are you sure Diamond Ponies can't get Cutie Marks?”
Her father sighs a bit and gives a sad look to her mother, who also gives a small sigh. “Saffy... we've been over this. I know it's very unfair. But according to the way magical biology works Diamond Ponies can't get Cutie Marks. I know fillies your age usually get them or have them but... that's just the way the world works.”
Sapphire hangs her head and pushes her plate away from her. “I'm not hungry anymore.”
“Saffy... not be sad. Not need Cutie Mark to be happy. Need be you.” Sapphire's mother reaches out to stroke her daughter's head.
The Diamond Pony leans into the pet with a smile and wag of her tail. “Thanks mommy... I'm going to my room now. We got some homework.”
“Cheer up, pup. You'll figure out there are more important things in life than moping.”
Sapphire nods her head and puts on a big, fake smile. She pushes away from the table and dashes upstairs, to her room. Her pack is open, with some books scattered around, along with papers and graphite writing sticks. She takes up some of the papers and starts to write with the stick. As she writes, a voiceover comes up. 'Cutie Marks are not possible on Diamond Ponies. Or at least that's what they say. But maybe Diamond Ponies never tried before! I'll be the first ever to do it, and it will be great! Ideas for a way to get Cutie Mark. Zipline swinging, tennis, martial arts, swimming...'
The scene ripple dissolves into an outdoor scene, with Sapphire in a dusty, flat field by some low hills, with a cheery soundtrack taking over all sound. She cracks her fingers and starts to dig, tearing through the dirt and rock, sending them flying out in all directions as she vanishes beneath the surface.
She emerges a moment later with a large load of gems and smiles at herself. Then the camera pulls back to reveal other ponies digging for gems and a sign that says, 'Public Gem Field: Pick Your Own' along with hours and prices. The camera pulls in again to show Sapphire slumping a bit and dumping the gems back into the hole before covering them up, though keeping one sapphire for herself, lightly crunching on it as she moves away.
A fast cut shows her falling through the air, tucked into a tight ball. A moment later she hits water, creating quite a huge splash and tremendous shower of water. The camera pulls back to show a pool, surrounded by soaked ponies looking rather upset, and a lifeguard pointing to a sign saying, 'No attempting to get a highdiving or splashing Cutie Mark.'
Sapphire's disappointed face is conserved in the center of the screen as the rest ripple dissolves into a different scene. The camera reveal shows she is being ushered out of a porcelain shop, carrying a cape and being followed by a very contrite-looking bull.
After another wipe she is shown running away and silently screaming as she is pursued by an almost impossibly-huge cloud of bees, which are emerging from several hives beside a sign reading, Hunang Drekkasdóttir's Meadery Apiary, volunteer harvesting colonies.
A wipe shows the inside of Sapphire's room as she stumbles in, covered in bee stings, mud, scrapes, scuffs and tree sap. She falls onto her bed, lifting herself up just enough to see that she got the sheet dirty. She rolls and eyes and grunts, “Perfect. All that and now mom's going to be mad.”
“Why be mad at precious puppy?” All of a sudden her mother is there, sitting on the bed beside her. The older female strokes the puppy over the head with a huge hand and smiles. “Got dirt on bed? No need worry. Dirty in colonies. Can always wash away dirt. Not able wash away sadness. What wrong, puppy?”
Sapphire leans in against her mother, to drink in the warmth and security of the powerful Dog. “I kept trying to earn my Cutie Mark today. It... didn't go well. I tried everything I could think of but I wasn't any good at any of them. Or I just got in trouble.”
“Diamond Ponies not get...” Her mother begins, in a sage tone.
“Cutie Marks. I know, I know.” Sapphire sighs and looks away. “Like most of the other hybrids. But it's... it's not fair.”
“Lived whole life not having Cutie Mark. Not problem. Even with ponies, they not care. Something... happen?”
Sapphire looks as if she is preparing to lie, but nods her head instead. “There are these fillies in my class. They were making fun of me for not having a Cutie Mark. And they're never gonna stop because I'm never going to have one.”
“Fillies important? Give you grades or pay salary?”
“What?”
“Fillies not give you grade, not pay bills, not important. Not let them make you sad or mad.” The large female draws her daughter in for a giant hug, nearly crushing the puppy in her strong grip.
“Ah! Ah! Mom! Too tight!” She is released and falls to the bed in a panting heap. “I know. I know... but mom... they're popular girls. And that means if they don't like me nopony will. I... I want to make friends here. And a Cutie Mark is really, really important. I know I can't get one. But I have to try, otherwise...” Sapphire cannot continue, her words lost in a snorting, snuffling sob. She buries her face in her mother's fur, body wracked with her weeping.
Mother and daughter hug tightly as the scene dissolves like water, revealing rain splattering against the windows of the school. The camera pans in and focuses through the window of Sapphire's class before changing to a camera inside the class. The board has the words, Free Play Time written on it. Mrs. Sloe Comb, with a neon orange mane rather than the blue one last seen, is behind her desk, reading a magazine for cat lovers. The rest of the class is distributed around the room reading or playing with toys in their pre-made cliques.
Sapphire is reading, a picture book about the United Colonies. She seems very wistful, occasionally touching one page or another as she turns them. Her reverie is soon interrupted by the unicorn fillies. “Look, it's the Blank Flank. And she's got a book. Of course she'd be a nerd.” The yellow one speaks first, getting in Sapphire's face.
“Yea, nerd.” The orange one giggles and pushing the book down. “You're not getting a Cutie Mark in reading. You're not getting one in anything.”
“Come on, leave me alone! I just want to read.” Sapphire seems on the verge of tears, looking down at the images of familiar figures, Dogs and ponies and Diamond Ponies like herself.
“No way, loser. Don't you get it? You're a Blank Flank and you're going to stay one forever and ever.” The yellow filly presses her face in and sneers rudely.
“That's enough! Quit picking on the new kid.” The green pegasus colt with the red mane and tail is up in the yellow unicorn's face, glaring hotly at her.
“Yea, she can't help not having a Cutie Mark, it's just her nature!” The grayish earth filly is preemptively interrupting a response by the orange unicorn, her natural strength pushing the unicorn quite significantly.
“What does it matter to you? You always just kept quiet. You weren't worth bothering.” The yellow unicorn pushes back against the colt, snorting sharply.
“Because she's just like us.” The filly pulls off her hat, letting huge, soft ears drop down. Then she pulls up one sleeve to show a knobby knees. She is, in fact, a pony-looking mule. “She's a hybrid.”
“But... but you're not one! You even got your Cutie Mark.” After gaping in disbelief at the mule, the yellow unicorn peers at the collection of sweets on the pegasus' flank.
“As my dad explained it do me, my 'seeming' got a Cutie Mark. It's the only one I can ever have, on almost the only body I'll ever have.” With a green flash the pegasus changes. His form is chitinous, his shell the color of his former coat, while the membranous mane and tail analogues are the color of his mane and tail. His eyes are a single, solid color, the shade of his disguise's irises. He possesses both wings and a horn, though he lacks the holes through his legs of full-blooded Changelings. “Ponylings don't get Cutie Marks on our real bodies.”
“What!?” Both unicorns express their disbelief, the yellow one giving a dismissive hoof-wave. “Fine. So you're all Blank Flanks! Freaks!”
“We're not freaks. This is how we were born.” The Ponyling resumed his seeming and shook his head. “It's no stranger than being born a pony. We don't get Cutie Marks, you can't change your body. We all do different things.”
“There's nothing wrong with being a hybrid that can't get a Cutie Mark. Only zonies can and that's fine. But buffaponies, mules, Diamond Ponies, Ponylings and hippogriffs are still just regular folks.” The mule comes in to press close to Sapphire and the Ponyling, presenting a united front.
“Yea...” Sapphire looks up, eyes dry, and a bit of confidence in her voice. “Yea! Back in Canem Cove we had plenty of Diamond Ponies and mules. And they never got made fun of because they were ordinary. I'm an ordinary Diamond Pony. And not having a Cutie Mark is normal! So get out of here. You're not making me feel bad anymore.”
The fillies look prepared to unleash further abuse, when a shadow looms over them. The camera pans up to show a distinctly unhappy Mrs. Comb. “I think it's time you girls had a serious detention, and that I had a serious talk with your parents. And I am unanimous in that.”
The fillies are led away, protesting, while the three hybrid foals looked to one another, the Ponyling dropping his disguise again, and the mule removing her sweater and trousers to reveal her knobby knees and a tail that is bare save for the tip. No one speaks for a while, until Sapphire asks, “So... what are your names?”
The mule taps her chest softly and lifts her ears in cheerfulness. “My name is Molly O'Lea.”
“And I'm Sweets. My parents opted for the single name.” The Ponyling buzzes his wings and smiles.
“It's great to meet you two. I was worried when I didn't see any Diamond Dogs or Diamond Ponies here. But it's not so bad if there are at least other hybrids here. And hybrids without Cutie Marks.”
“We really did want to help you but... we've been hiding ourselves this long.” Molly blushes and looks down.
“There's three of us now. That can take us places.” Sweets buzzes his wings cheerfully. “We can watch each other's flanks and be friends. We all understand what it means to be hybrids.”
“It'll be nice to have friends again! You can come to my house and meet my parents and snack on gems!” The other foals give Sapphire and incredulous look, making her blush. “W-well... maybe that's something just for me. But you can still visit.”
All the foals laugh as the scene freezes and blurs, with the credits playing over it along with a cheerful pop song.
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Nice.
One question, though- are Diamond Ponies quadrupeds or Bipeds? I imagine Sapphire looking a little like a satyr....
Awww.... this is why I like the world you've created. It's so multicultural, definitely felt like an after school special.
1976319
I tried to make it clear but I guess I bobbled it. She's a biped... inasmuch as regular Diamond Dogs are bipeds (They may be upright but their hands seem to reach the ground by and large.) Yea, satyr I guess, or a Minotaur. Recall, I explained Iron Will as resulting from the union of a Diamond Dog and a cow.
1976343
It has ever been my contention that Equestria is that way, surviving on love and assimilation and letting all come as long as they keep the peace. And then comes romance, and marriage, and babies.
I hope Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon learned something important from all of this.
Was not expecting an Are You Being Served reference from you. Nopony else seems to remember that show. Anyway, this was a very nice chapter.
P.S. I may request your assistance in the future with a story Idea I have for my OC, an astronomer named Solar Flare. You're very good at writing OC stories, so I figured you would be a good person to ask.
We have do different things.”. Sentence does not compute.
I really love these things, your talent for world-building just shines. Oh, and Mrs. Sloe Comb, I see what you did there.
1976343
I believe this is the definition of an after-school special.
1978475
I watch it every Saturday night on PBS, along with most of the other great British comedies.
1978475
Yes! See, I knew that name sounded familiar, but I couldn't connect the dots.
1976840
Oh, that's the... weird thing I have about them. They're better-than-you over Blank Flanks. But I have this notion that they're not speciesist. It shows more clearly in "The Day Without" when they have at least one (of not more) family members who are Diamond Dogs (And implicitly, Roani as well). They might get soemthing out of the "Don't be bullies" message. But the "Respect hybrids" message is a bit lost on them, they already have that down.
1978475
I love that show so much and have contemplated making a pony version of it several times, though I always hesitated because the idea is just too out there, and perhaps obscure.
If you don't mind week-long delays between help, I can offer myself for that. I already do plot and correction work for another friend. Just send a private message here.
1981436
It was the mane. And I am unanimous in that.
I'll patch it up right now.
2009432 Well I was hoping they'd learn how nopony likes a bully. Those two or at least Diamond Tiara just never seem to learn.
1976379
This chapter remind of this Schoolhouse Rock video: