• Member Since 17th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Spike120812


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We all know the royal marriage of Shining Armor and Princess Cadance, but this story goes all the way back to when Cadance was still Twilight's foal sitter. From a simple crush, to young love, and everything in between. A love struck colt, a beautiful princess, and a friend ready to help. The road to love isn't always a simple one, but nothing safe is worth the drive.

Edited by FluttershyisMetal, metroid_freak, Angel_Bunny, and ajvasquezbrony28, four awesome guys willing to help with this story.

Chapters (24)
Comments ( 628 )

I have absolutely NO BUCKINE IDEA WHY ANYPONY WOULD THUMB THIS DOWN!!!!!
It's just damn cute, and filly twilight is just DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW *heart attack* :heart::heart::heart:

*wakes up again*
That brings me to a mistake. It's filly, not philly :facehoof:

Tracked and faved! Don't dissapoint me now :pinkiehappy:

First off, it's filly, not philly. They're ponies, not cheesesteaks.

Secondly, Shining Armor is canonically Captain of the Royal Guard. There's not a hint of that in this fic. Joining the guard was established to be an ambition of Shining Armor's from a young age. This isn't a critical point, although Shining is implied to be fairly young for his rank, and it's easier to justify a rapid ascension if it's something he's been training for from a young age (like the way Twilight's training in magic started long before she got her cutie mark). It's something you'll have to address in future chapters.

Finally, here's some stuff I noticed about how the siblings interact. Most writers render Shining's nickname for Twilight Sparkle as "Twily". I have to really praise you for rendering Shining's nickname for Twilight as "Twilee" and "Twi-Li" instead. Those amused me, and I think both of them really capture the cadence of the words better than 'Twily' does. However, BBBFF means 'Big Brother Best Friends Forever', so BLSFF means... 'Best Little Sister Friends Forever'? Maybe you meant LSBFF, 'Little Sister Best Friends Forever'. I do have to credit you for creating a reciprocal acronym at all... I'd pretty much always interpreted that as a Twilightism rather than a sibling in-joke.

1657264

I'm the one who thumbed it down, and you're right. I'll make it a thumbs up. The writing is decent, the idea is decent, and it didn't deserve to have its first thumb be a downer.

1657274 I must say that it would't have been thumbed up if it was an established writer writing with this quality while "beating a dead horse".
He's actually extremely skiled to be a fresh author (i am too).
Would be cool if it got featured.


Author, if some idiots give you a harsh time, just ignore them. If you can't do that, give me a word. I am sure thay would enjoy meeting "love and tolerate" (look at profile pic to get the reference) :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Interesting, i love stories that shows Shinning and Cadance background :twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:
Just some things:
The word for what i know is Filly and not Philly
Cadance is a Foal sitter not a filly sitter
use something like bold or italics to show thoughts, it makes the reading easier

"Yeah, she's a great little sister, and I hear a just as great a student."

This sentence is weird, i think it would be better if you changed to:
"Yeah, she's a great little sister, and she is also a great student"
well that all i found, please continue this story it's rare to find their background without dark
:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

1657300

I don't like being characterized as an "idiot" 'giving the author a harsh time' because I tried to be helpful. Nor is it good advice to tell authors to ignore their critics. It is especially not nice to mock people with implied threats by saying "I am sure thay[sic] would enjoy meeting 'love and tolerate' (look at profile pic to get the reference)" when your profile pic is a sniper rifle. Violence isn't a funny thing you should use for your amusement and the reassurances of others. There are better ways.

The people here are good people, by and large. You should be kinder.

Glad to see that some people actually read this, and yeah I kinda didn't see all the philly phillie errors, tried to get most, but hey, it is my first story. As for the Shining Armor being the captain of the royal guard later on, I'm aware of that, let's just say his feelings for Cadence, and desire to be more confident lead him to join a certain something. I honestly have no idea how old Shining Armor should be considered in the series, but since he was named the youngest captain, I figure somewhere in his early to mid 20's? This sets back to when he as still, like early teenage years (14-16)? Hope to get the next chapter out relatively soon. Hopefully I can make i better, more clearer, and have less gramatical errors. Oh! As for the bolding of certain things, how do you do that? I was submitting this last night, and as I looked through it, the stuff I tried to bold in were replaced by "." I have no idea what I was supposed to do there, so everything I bolded or italicized, I had to make it just like the rest of the font for the story. Can somepony help me with that?

First of all, as someone else pointed out, it's filly, not philly.

Second of all, Celestia controls the moon at this time.

If Cadence's aunt is Celestia what make Luna?

Is it possible to go back into the story and edit some mistakes?

1657351 :twilightoops: Yeah, you are right .That comment should never have been posted :fluttercry:
It was both inapropriate, unfit and could be taken as threatening.
With that said i stil think he should ignore people criticising him. Note that i said criticise and not constictively criticise. Criticise is comments like this: "your story [insetri inapropriate word] [insert inapropriate word] amd similar. It was in no way related to your comment. Your comment is what i would cal consructive criticism, and should be appreciated by authors who want to improve (me included).
The need to state a point to the author got the better of me :fluttershysad:

I wish to apologise to you, the author and the entire comunity. I should, as both an author and sports marksman, have known better than that. Forgive me if you want, but i understand if you rep the comment :unsuresweetie:


1657909
Yes, you can. All you need to do is to click on the chapter. Once it opens you should get a toolbar on the top of the chapter. click on "edit chapter". It wil now open the chapter in the same interface as you wrote it in before you published it. Make the changes you want, and save it :twilightsmile:

This is a great story, especially for a first-time writer. I myself just started out.

Best of luck to you, hopefully this story can become featured.

So great :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

I hope this story doesn't get a single dislike and hopefully it get's featured as well, because it should. If not don't worry it takes a bit of time (it took me 7 tries.) Don't really have any corrections seeing as everyone before me already got to it. Just keep it steady and don't rush it. I would also suggest, if you don't already have one, getting another person to edit besides yourself it really helps with the small details.

Can't wait for the next chapter :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiesmile::heart::raritystarry::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

Thank you dartmaul15, I just need to go back and make some grammer changes, I can be a bit of a Twilight about mistakes. Thank you everyone for the constructive criticism, I really hope to get Chapter 2 up on here relatively soon, and hopefully the story will get better and better.

Hmmmmm...... You need to put in page breaks indicating sudden scene changes, and you need to remember that ponies and humans are slightly different. Also, try to indicate when one of your characters is having a flash back. I was very confused by this, but I believe I got the gist. All in all, you have a good idea here. And I'm not saying that to be patronizing.
Also filly Twi = Insanely adowable.

1657439 Yeah but it's still lunas moon

Gets the reader to relate to all of the charecters. Good job.
5 moustaaches
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Also Twilight's parents are named Night Light and Twilight Velvet. Twilight Velvet is cannon I think Night Light is fan cannon but not official cannon.

This is just adorable. I don't even care that stories like this have been done before (though admittedly this is the first I've seen that goes this far back).

Faved and thumbed-up.

D'awwwwwwwwwww..... that was adorable :rainbowkiss: I can't wait to see where you go with this :pinkiehappy:

well i dont care about the mistakes. but i really love this story :heart: i cant wait for another chapter i'm intrigue :pinkiehappy:

Anyone know how to but bold or italicized writing in? When I was editing the frst time before putting this up, I tried to bold in or italicize something, but instead I got "." as a final result.

1657351

He wasn't calling you an idiot, the guy was making a reference to the future bronies who would stumble upon this story and start emotionally disturbing the author for some melodramatic reason. :facehoof:

1660219
If it's something already written try highlighting it and clicking bold and italicize. If its not something already written I'd suggest hitting bold and italicize first. I've had this problem before to.

A few spelling mistakes like Philly instead of filly and I saw Miniute misspelled once or twice. Beyond the minor spelling mistakes I saw, it looks to be pretty cute. I'm looking forward to he next chapter you have for us!

1658006

Thanks for the apology. Apologizing to the entire community is kinda over the top. :twilightblush:

I didn't and don't intend to report your comment... I always try to approach people first before I call down figures of authority. It doesn't work most of the time, but sometimes it does.

1660219

Yay, you're editing! I am so tracking this story now.

1662727 No, it's not. I made a mistake, and i learned from it :eeyup:

Just have to say that i can't wait for the next chapters!
You may not be the enxt Austen or Tolkien at current time, but what you do got is an overload of DAWWWW, AWESOME and AWKWARD
Got to love this :heart:

Yay finally made an account :yay: well I hope this updates often but not to often because I don't want you to feel rushed because it is amazing :pinkiegasp: >> spike 120812 is that how you direct a comment

Who ever disliked this story you just got on my bad side

ERRRMERRRR GERD!!! I already know this is gonna be a great story:pinkiehappy: only the few minuscule spelling/grammar mistakes to really nag on but who doesn't :twilightsheepish:
twilight doesn't count though....

Yes! I've been waiting for a new chapter. Here, have a :moustache:

Have all my :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:, good sir
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

He doesn't even realize that Cadence and Blueblood are cousins! Oh wait that's a bad thing.

Yay, an update! :yay:

Silly Shining Armor, incest is bad.

Hope you guys like it, I've got a few ideas in my mind about the next few chapters already, now to just put those in writing.

CADENCE AND BLUEBLOOD!? SERIOUSLY SHINING!?:rainbowlaugh:

Ah, the classic "mistaking the love interest's family member for something else entirely" mixup. I sense much comedy will be had here.

Wait... I'm betting Twilight will recognize Blueblood's description when Shining inevitably tells her what happened, leading to Shining basically kicking himself for being such a moron.

1785588

Still deciding on that, either Twilight tells, or Shining confronts Cadence about it, leading to an even bigger embarrasment, still seeing how each senario would work out.
Either way, expect some comedy, and maybe a scene that will tug at your heart.

Really interested to see how this plays out. :)
Hope we'll get the answers soon.

Ask her out.

Oh, it looks like she has a date? Ask if that's her date.

Ask her.
Ask her.
ASK HER.
AS-

i194.photobucket.com/albums/z25/taizen34/Reaction%20Faces/tumblr_ma9ogdLXKP1r592i0.gif

1786403 I KNOW RIGHT!?! it crushed me when i saw that last part :applecry:

Okay, so you seemed to have edited this chapter and added about 500 words...

...So what's different about it?

1793544

Nothing, except for some grammer corrections, but when i saved, I saw this message about a bug or something, and the next thing I know it says that Chapter 2 is 5,014 words when really it ws only 4,000 something. I think it was a bug.

Question real quick: Is Stardust a fairly important OC? Is she one of the reasons this story is marked with an "OC" tag?

Not that I would have a problem, I'm just curious.

1801499

Let's just say, I have plans for her that might complicate and help things with Cadence and Shining. Won't give too much away.

It's going to be hot.

Nice chapter, but I think you may want to look for a pre-reader or editor for your chapters. Might help to cut back on the grammar issues.

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