• Member Since 8th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

MrSpartan


Just a man. Nothing special. I like almost everything I can find about sci-fi and epic high fantasy. I like plenty of other things, but you don't really care about that I'm sure.

E

A Man. He hungers for vengeance from a time when the world including Equestria was still primal. It was before Celestia and Luna graced it with utopian peace and harmony. What if every thing about their rule is built on the bones of other civilizations? What if those old pony tails aren't just stories but the few bits and pieces that remained of the truth? The fables of monsters and intelligent races not like ponies are more then fiction...they are dying embers of a time before.

Note:Many, MANY thanks to Book Smart for helping me edit the first half of the chapters. Ther other half of my thanks go to one ProtheanBrony for doing the rest of the edits for the latter half of the chapters.BookSmart ProtheanBrony

Chapters (23)
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Comments ( 211 )

That's a BADASS coverart.
Also the story is coming along well.

I like where this is going.

WANT

WANTWANTWANT. Gimmie MOAR

Cheers
~iraqlobstah

I have not even clicked on the chapter link yet, and I'm loving stuff about this. The picture, the summary, it's just too AWSOME!!!

Trying not to set my sights too high just yet. But I've got a feeling you may just meet, maybe even surpass, my expectations.

Here's to hoping!:yay:

I can tell that this is going to be epic :pinkiehappy:

I look forward to the next chapter.

An interesting story, but you really, REALLY need to work on your comma usage. There were FAR too many run-on sentences. That was the only thing that jumped out at me.

117173 And with that first chapter finished, you sir have officially blown my mind!:pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

Welp. I'll say this. While the grammar isn't perfect, the setup is good.

I'd suggest getting a very good pre-reader before continuing.

Was very short yet you have my attention. Like Alzeron said a few sentences seemed to go on too long. Other than that looking forward to seeing where this leads off to.

Not going to lie here, but when Angel quoted Hannibal, I luled. I'm curious to see where this is going.

hmm very interesting story and the mention of humans and how well written this is is even more awesum :rainbowkiss: keep up the great work :pinkiehappy:

That part when Rainbow tells Pinkie that she dropped her toothbrush in the toilet was from an episode of Spongebob.

pure liquid sugar

That would be caramel. It's what you get when you melt sugar of any kind.

Thanks for reading and commenting guys. I really appreciate it. Keep in mind this is my first fan fiction ever. I DO NOT expect it to be great despite any attempts on my part. I made this chapter much cheerier then the last out of necessity but also to try my hand at a slightly different writting style. Also this chapter was slightly focused on Pinkie Pie and we ALL know anything involving her will be either funny or strange. (Cupcakes does NOT count.):pinkiesick: Finally just so future readers know, I plan on taking my time with writting this. I don't write well under pressure and rushing along will deminish the quality so please be patient. CHEERS:heart:

Dat coverart

SO BADASS

well expect for the fact that the chapter was kinda short it was awesome cant wait to see the up coming return of the humans WUAHAHAHAHA :pinkiegasp: keep up the great work

You guys don't know this but I've had pneumonia for the past 2 weeks. :pinkiesick: I'm only now getting better (still hacking up my lungs though) and I'm working on the next chapter when I feel up to it. Sorry, I tried to work on it sooner but anything I wrote came out terrable. I don't like to keep any of you guys waiting especially since I don't like waiting ether yet I also don't like to be rushed so it's kind of stressful situation for me so please please please wait a little longer.:applecry:

you really should have separated up the walls of dialogue more like whenever princess Celestia stopped and you described something exasperated the wall of dialogue, other than that the story seems pretty good so far keep up the great work :pinkiehappy:

THe only complaint i have is the wall of text, you should break that up, it can be difficult to follow for some readers, but overall pretty good.

Try to work on the giant walls of text you got going on and see if you can put them into different paragraphs with each new or different idea/description. The part where you're describing what each of the mane6 are looking at in the room especially could use some breaking up since it's a real strain on the eyes for most people I'm sure. (Myself included.)

Another great chapter otherwise. Now lock your armor Spartan! We're about to go feet first into hell! (Halo reference? No? Ok...)

208024 I think I'm noticing a trend here. I'll try to work on that in the futer. Also another thing...Orbital Drop Shock Troopers. I am aware of the refrence.:twilightsmile:

YEY AN UPDATE! :pinkiehappy:
ths story just keeps getting better :twilightsmile:

cant wait to see the next chapter :rainbowdetermined2:

I'm now imagining OUR human race (No magic or that stuff) suddenly popping up out of nowhere and fighting off the other humans/
wat

i though he would say ' IT WAS PAIN' no death... oh well.

Our time has come.
For one thousand years, we prepared, we grew stronger.
While you rested in your cradle of power.
Believing your people safe and protected.
You were trusted to lead the three races, but you where deceived.
As our powers of darkness have blinded you.
You assumed no force could challenge you.

And now.

Finally...

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


...We. Have. Returned.

Awww yeah shit's getting real! Can't wait for the next chapter :rainbowkiss:

And it would seem I'm first. :yay:

So did celestias parents kill all of the bipedal races?:rainbowhuh:

i almost forgot about this story.....................and now its updated it hath became 20% cooler!:pinkiehappy:

I :heart: THIS STORY!:twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:


p.s. I CLAIM THE TITLE OF: "THIRD!":yay::trollestia:

498456 That will be explained a bit more later but I plan on leaving the full story of what happened more or less vague.:trollestia:

498742 damn you!!!, Jk aslong as this celestia dies, i will be a happy man

Sounds like everything pony like is going back to nature. Animals are skittish, clouds and rainbows are going back water vapor and light reflections. Pest animals are showing up in a utopia. Yep, sounds like humans to me.

Freaking Elements of Harmony.
When skill and ability aren't enough, god-mode it.

i call hacks, no way they could have done that

Noooooooo! WHY! WHHHHY!

*sighs*

Why did the humanzzz have to loose. :fluttercry:

Honestly... I want the humans to win...

WHY WONT YOU DIE PONIES!!!!

I call upon the highest of bullshit if he is defeated and this is the end of the war.
First the mane 6 win because of Deus ex Harmonia.
Then, Illitheous gets wasted when he was winning for the same reason.

If, Illitheous dies then really? That would simply be one of the most horrible ending in the 'ENTIRE UNIVERSE' besides ME3, man that sucked.

I´m calling it, he gets turned to stone, every pony sighs in relief, and 2 seconds later the stone prison explodes, and the shrapnel kills at least one of the Mane 6 :pinkiecrazy: (or injures at least) :pinkiesick:
(By The Way) Great story .

FOOLS! VENGEANCE NEVER DIES!

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