THIS IS AN OLDER VERSION OF A FIC RE-WRITTEN HERE:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/417260/tapestry-a-world-apart
I'm keeping this up for archival purposes, however.
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Rarity is accidentally sent to a dark, frozen alternate reality, where the pegasi, unicorns, and earth ponies never resolved their conflict. In a world where unicorns are hunted and killed, Rarity's friends rush to her aid, only to find themselves quickly enmeshed in a great war, in a world in need of heroes.
The Order vindictively hunts unicorns and rules its citizens with an iron hoof. They claim the unicorns are responsible for the endless winter, and they claim their ruthless tyranny is necessary for the survival of ponykind against the cold, and they may be right.
The Ceruleans claim The Order must fall, that its cruel reign is what brings the winter, and the Ceruleans are willing to fight to bring a blue sky once more.
It is a world of heroes and villains on both sides, of powerful secret weapons that threaten to change the world forever, of powerful secret societies with mysterious and ambitious goals, and where magic is threatened by the dawn of powerful new technology. It is a world in turmoil, and a world in need of heroes of every kind.
It is a world apart from Equestria.
This is quite possibly one of the most intriguing premisses shmever.
*reads description* Phew! That took a while! Now for the actual story... *later* Color me interested, sir.
1655597 Do you even lift?
This looks like it's going to be awesome! I haven't thought of the scenario of what if the tribes turned on each other completely? Wow!
And unicorn genocide? Ooo... Nasty.
Also, R.I.P. AU-Applejack... You were brave...
1656534
Oh no.
What will we do without a small, draconic, being to save one pony from a disaster...?
Ohhhhhhhhhh...
Like it matters too much. Lol.
Well, I love the premise of this.
Which is good, considering how much hate she is going to get for having a horn on her head.
If Rarity's magic got so much more powerful in this alternate world then Twilight is going to be totally-bucking-unstoppable
I'm eagerly waiting for the next chapter!
This is an incredibly interesting start.
I am looking forward to seeing how you handle this story.
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1656534
Hey! We need to go to an incredibly dangerous alternate reality that reeks of Cold and Steel. You know what we need to bring? A baby!
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the only problem i have with this is that rarity's magic seems inordinately strong. we havent ever seen her lift anything heavier than her sewing supplies (except for tom). the only explanation i can think of is that her magic has somehow been amplified, in which case twi is going to be a goddess.
liked and faved, i look forward to seeing where you go with this.
1656861
Key phrase there.
Tom's a bit of a Lard-arse, y'know?
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This is a great story and a very good first chapter!
The only gripe I have is the tech that was being used.
Flintlocks and machineguns?
I would understand rifled muskets and Gatling guns, but Flintlocks are outdated...even when it comes to muskets! If by machinegun you mean a fully automatic one that has a recoil system rather than a crank for a Gatling, then the tech is really screwy here.
Ok, enough of that. That is just a pet peeve of mine that I had to get out of the way.
Your story is fantastic and for that you get a favorite.
Silver out!
Great story!
I would have started with Rarity's line: "Go on, go on!" Considering 99.9% of people who come here have seen that episode several times before, it seems unnecessary to give that much of a background, which we already know about.
Personally, I don't like that description of magic, but it is very interesting...
Good luck! Keep on writing!
1659080
Oh noooooo.
1659080
Danger?
You mean where he picked up a big crystal, trips up, then gets rescued by Cadence?
Wow. So brave. I can't imagine how anyone could survive without him.
I'm sorry, but Spike is no hero. He never has been. He has barely been on any adventures and has proven that he most certainly cannot hold his own.
Mostly he is content with running to others for help (See Boast Busters) and when he has stood up for himself or others, he has done so with the support of others helping him (See A Dog and Pony Show and Dragon Quest).
The kid has heart. No doubt. But he's still just a kid. No sane creature would send a child into such a place.
Side note: This story takes place mid-way through Season One. He hasn't actually performed any of these so-called feats of heroism yet. He's even more of a child than he is during Season Three.
1659353
Let's also take into account that Twilight is an overprotecting mare and would, like always, leave Spike behind for his own safety.
And my sarcasm just displays how much his character isn't needed for a story. It'll just end up in more Sparity shipping. Like we need any more of that, right now.
1659353
I can chew up flesh.
Does that mean I'm a hero too?
AMAZING
HE HAD A DOOR SLAMMED IN HIS FACE
NO MERE MORTAL COULD SURVIVE SUCH AN ONSLAUGHT
*Coughs fire
Seriously. It's just sad, how poor his fire-breath is
Erm... when?
Spike is either lazing around the library, out of breath from jogging, or sitting on the back of another pony.
Erm... No he can't
In that episode, did any part of his transformation seem conscious, let alone willing?
He didn't intend to turn into the Giant Dragon.
And when he did, he had no control. That would be more of a hindrance than a help.
And do you think he'd honestly ever want to again? Look at the way he felt at the end.
Nothing but regret and sorrow.
So no.
Spike can not turn into a Giant Monster at the drop of a hat.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash flies faster than the speed of sound, Fluttershy reduces fully-grown Dragons to tears, Rarity befriends sea-serpents, Applejack rides Manticores and Twilight tames Ursas.
Together, those Six (and only six) can take on even greater foes, ones that threaten entire nations. They can change the world.
Ask yourself this:
When the Element Bearers were out fighting the Changeling Army in Canterlot, where was Spike?
Was he leading some of the few remaining Guards in an epic last-stand?
Was he defending the CMC, as the rising tide of Changeling Drones threatened to overwhelm him?
We don't know.
Do you know why?
Because it wasn't important enough to mention in the episode.
Whatever Spike did, it was less important than seeing a few extra seconds of everyone just talking afterwards.
Spike is utterly outclassed in every way.
As is to be expected.
You know, seeing as HE IS STILL JUST A BABY
1659805
Interesting how you accuse me of not paying attention, when I addressed every single point you made :3
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Also, Apologies to you, author, for such a massive derailment.
My apologies also. I'm gonna go ahead and un-clutter.
1656891
Rarity only knows about flintlock rifles, but in fact, the rifles the soldiers are using are primarily bolt-action. In terms of firearms, it's roughly WWI-era tech, hence machineguns and bolt-action rifles.
1659369
). While I like that people are willing to debate over points in my story, what I don't like is harsh language...
1659840
1661522
Very interesting. Lol, I think it a great compliment that people care enough to debate here
Lol, and ScreenedPlum, I do have a name (You called me "author". Yay!
But anyways, it's time to drop "Word of God" on this one.
How effective would Spike be? Well, that depends on how you interpret his dragon-ness. Remember, these baddies use guns. Can his scales stop bullets? Personally, I'd think maybe a .22 (based on his pincushion skills), but otherwise, no, but I don't think very many peeps out there would like that. He can't fly like other dragons. And, he has a decent fire-breath (burning popcorn and almost scorching RD in the beginning of "Over a Barrel"), but it won't be more effective than a rifle, and will have much, much shorter range. Not to mention, Spike isn't exactly a trained killer.
And anyways, a lot of it depends on what would happen moment-to-moment (any guy with military experience would tell you, if you're in the right spot at the right time, you live, if not, you die. A lot of it comes down to luck). And he is a baby dragon, after all. He's roughly in the same age range as the CMC's (I just did some work on this one: http://asksciencepony.tumblr.com/ ). As much as he wants to be a hero, he's not exactly James Bond-killer stuff. He's just a kid. A good kid, and a great character, but a kid. For his sake, I'm glad he's not getting sent to this dystopia (though I do like his character)
good luck getting him out of that dome, though...
Now, greedy super-Spike?... Lol, you tempt me to write a short branch-off parody
But anyways, Shadowflash pretty much nailed this one. Twilight is very protective of Spike, so even if he was there, she wouldn't bring him. The extra cherry on top is the bit where he's not even there to begin with.
This is like when Twilight went with AJ and Pinkie (woah, same characters!) to rescue Fluttershy at Froggy Bottom (Feeling Pinkie Keen?), they just ran into it, not taking the time to call on RD or get organized. Also note that Twi left Spike behind in Dragonshy, even when they did organize.
Plus, I already got enough characters to deal with
, nevermind the fact Spike would probably be treated something like an alien by The Order. And yeah, the mane 6 are a formidable fighting force, but #1: Hydra, Manticore, and Super-Spike. They didn't defeat any of those with their combat skills. #2: I think enough fiction downplays guns. Guns are rather effective at what they do. And, well... You'll see what happens when they pop in next chapter...
Good evening, sirs.
1661912
Wilco!
Silver out!
1661912
Good to know
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1661522
. I'm all for freedom of expressing your mind, but there's other ways to do it and I'd rather not have that language on my comment wall...
1663676
Heh, actually, ScreenedPlum, I kinda meant that bit about "harsh language" as a way of asking you to please either change the words on the image to not-swear-words or get rid of it
Kinda sad I didn't get to see the whole debate, though. At one point I checked my phone and saw something like 40 comments, but my phone was slow and I was at the airport and didn't read through them...
I will say, though, I prefer a more realistic approach on things. Do remember, the army of untrained, half-braindead changelings actually did win against the mane 6. Heheh, I would talk more about that, but I'll save that for the comments on next chapter, since the mane 6 actually did just go there
Adorable Rarity smiley, btw!
You're purposely sending me on a guilt trip about what I'm doing to Rarity, aren't you?
As much as it may appear otherwise at times, I do love all the characters
1664419
Swapped for a more PC version
I would never do such a devious thing...
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Nice introduction, it'll be interesting to see where things are going. (My favorite part is it focuses on best pony Rarity
)
The description of Twilight's magic was interesting, slightly confusing and I can't say I like that take on it, but interesting.
It's a shame Twilight and company couldn't be bothered to grab a pegasus before running off, those tend to come in handy.
A few grammar problems I spotted (because I've somehow turned into that person who points those out, hypocritically enough), there're a few more but they're less obtrusive than these and less concise to point out.
"When twilight guided the bundle." Twilight needs to be capitalized.
"The air was so cold it was painful to breathe." Breathe needs an e.
"titanic concrete walls surrounding it's base." Its, not it's. "It's" is the contraction for "it is." "Its" is the proper possessive form for "it.'
Alright, I feel obnoxious now, but it's a great start to your story and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.
1667578
Ah, thanks. I was just rereading this, and I hit the second part and thought "Sheesh. That's awful. I can do better!" and I changed it (The icy air tore at her throat and lungs with each breath).
Haha, you know, guys, unicorns really aren't so bad... 
Thanks for the other two. They have been executed as swiftly and ruthlessly as the unicorn menace!
Wait a sec, my avatar's a unicorn!
Anyways, yeah, grammar mistakes bother me as well.
1664790
Oh, is that picture what her face looks like at this moment?
""T-Twilight?... Applejack?... P-Pinkie Pie?..." she could only weakly stammer into the wind around her sobs, praying somehow it was some dream or illusion, that in reality, she was lying on the floor of Twilight's warm treehouse library, unconscious, and somehow they would be there and save her, or wake her up from this awful, lonely nightmare.
Out of the blizzard, she saw flashes of light. Suddenly her hopes flared to life, a grin spread across her face,
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immediately followed by the sound of machinegun fire and bullets whizzing by, missing her by a wide margin. She shrieked and galloped away from the terrible flashing lights."
XD
(Do NOT take that as Word of God. There's no way her face looked like THAT xp)
So, maybe that gunner didn't kill someone that was on a killing spree, but I STILL think the Halo Narrator should say "Killjoy" at that moment...
Holy... Did Twilight just get captured? WTF?
Pinkie is with other-Pinkie so I wonder what that one'll lead to.... I'm really curious about this story. Wow... It brilliant.
I never understood how people could unfollow good stories because of how they go until you shot Pinkie. I seriously almost unfavorited it. Almost. I await Chapter 3.
1756022
Thanks!
1756041
Lol, I'm workin' on it. And I want to do it soon because of this next comment...
1756154
Wow. You really, really got me worried about this! I hope I'm not losing a lot of readers because of that!
Hold on sec. You called it good, though. I'm confused, now, lol.
Though I get what you're saying...
But hey, she's still alive, and as Nurse Redheart pointed out, that's the important thing.
1757424
It's good writing because you managed to elicit such a strong reaction from me.
It's just, Pinkie is renowned for her happiness and desire to make everyone smile, and her carefree and innocent way of going about things. I was fully expecting some sort of comedy when Pinkie walked up to the officer, because that's just how situations go when Pinkie is involved. And then the officer just shoots her. If there is anyone in the entire MLP universe that doesn't deserve that, it's Pinkie.
If this scene isn't the perfect embodiment of "We're not in Kansas anymore," then nothing is.
I think I've found an inconsistency. That, or I'm a moron who should learn to read.
...is she Full Spectrum or Dash?
EDIT: I reread everything and now feel extremely stupid. I forgot about the ponies "private names", but that's what happens when you go this long without reading it with so many other stories I've read in between these two chapters. Sorry, and I love the story so far!
1758129
Lol, thanks! I guess that's certainly a good way of putting it.
Maybe I get it mostly from my brother, but it seems to me too many think of Pinkie as being supernatural, super-powerful and what-have-you. I've always been sorta against that, and I loved that "Too Many Pinkies" really illustrated that she's really a mortal, non-supernatural pony.
(And people ALWAYS seem to forget that psycho Pinkie... Isn't. She's not horror-psycho when straight-maned, she's terribly depressed; sad, not murderous.)
Lol, it's actually really ironic, and kinda a double-standard that I say that she's not super... Just wait until you really meet this alternate Pinkie!
And yeah, I like to constrain goofiness to the realm of realism... Pinkie's 100% Pinkie, still, but you don't mess with Order officers, especially not when they're apprehending a unicorn!
But I love Pinkie like all the other characters, and you'll see her characterized soon
1758753
Did you read the whole chapter yet?
lol
EDIT: Caught your edit there, lol. Yeah, it's kinda a deep world, so I do worry about that a bit. Thanks a lot for the comment! And no worries, I can totally understand if you've read a lot in-between, I get stuff mixed up myself quiet a bit (though I really don't read as much as I'd like). Now a big disaster would be if I got my own story mixed up
lol. I doubt that's gonna happen, though.
(I would say "it won't", but that's just asking for it!)
Hmm...one faction is anti-unicorn and the other accepts unicorns? Guesses here. Seeing as they are members of an outpost garrison, they must be link to a larger body of ponies.
Silver out!
Oh Twilight, when will you finally learn to be more cautious when travelling to other dimensions
Being one hit KO'd is so embarassing 
Also, poor Rarity, scarred for life
(on a sidenote, Twilight's coat color is lavender, not purple... and Rainbow's isn't cyan either, more like sky blue or light cerulean)
1896985
Sticks and stones can break my bones!
Well, just don't lose faith in humanity. Or, ponanity, or equinanity, I guess...
There is a distinct lack of Fluttershy in this story.
~Just a general notice to my readers that I've made quite a few edits, here, to the first scene, and much more sparingly to the scene with Rarity in the place.
1906004
She got a hug
But maybe they should try using a tambourine to stop the pain, since tambourines work perfectly!
1932377
And so I have my first Fluttershy request.
1932377
Dun Dun Duuuunnn! lol
Ah, Pinkie Pie... Don't ever change you silly billy!
Even in a situation like this, you make me laugh.
What.
Okay. Applejack had better do something next chapter. Because if she just rolls over and thinks her hastily made vow and fake siblings from another dimension is more important than her real friends then I'm going to lose my s**t.
2011311
[Warning: Comment content not to be taken seriously]
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I was just more leaning toward this (applejack versus the world)
(don't listen to him, he's just happy the rewrite for this chapter is done and most of the story crafting is finished)
edit: (also dont' listen to me, i'm the editor, i can say what ever i want)
Holy Scheiße that's a verdammt new one
Very well done chapter. Creating an entire new world on your own is HARD. Trust me, I know.
Silver out!
2012285
Haha, thanks. Btw, it got to version "v2 CE", completely changed once (v2), major scene redesigns three times (C) and five major sets of edits (E) - just to give an idea of why this took so long
And my editor, Henzado, helps a great deal!
2011705
I'll give you a chance to edit that so I don't delete it, but I don't want that language on the comment wall. It's especially uncalled for in this case.
2012363 If you want me to use that kind of language to insult you, I could take that as permission, but personally would withhold from doing so, for chance of being seen as "lower" intellectually. I was stating my surprise at seeing that word, as throughout all my literature i've ever read I have never once seen that used. EVER. Not once did I insult you in my comment.
Unless, of course, those words offend you when used in any context. In that case I strongly suggest developing some kind of "immunity" if you will, towards that language. It's fine not liking it, but you're obviously going to deal with it quite often.
2012375
The latter. I can deal with it in public, but this is my comments' wall, and I do have jurisdiction and power to keep that language from being used here, so I choose to do so.
2012375 I meant no offense, btw.
And look: enmeshed
Ah, bigotry. Truly one of the greatest evils.