• Published 20th Nov 2012
  • 684 Views, 5 Comments

Ponyville Confidential - Doctoroctagonapus21



Type Writer, a journalist pony, reports on the strange goings-on around Ponyville...

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Ponyville's Prized Pony Pooped?

"Uggghhh." Type Writer groaned as he rolled over on his cloud, looking at his notepad. "Deadline's next week and I have nothing to write about."

In the two weeks following the Summer Sun Celebration, he'd been going through Ponyville once a day looking for any stories. The most interesting pieces he had so far were Vinyl Scratch's new DJ set, and Lyra's odd obession with mythical creatures known as "humans". Although he did get shanghaied into an adventure with Derpy and the Doctor, he promised not to write about it and he's not the kind of scumbag reporter that would go back on a promise like that. Besides, even if he did, he doubted anypony would take it seriously.

"Well," Ty said to himself, "time to go looking again." As he rolled over, he noticed a certain rainbow mane resting on a cloud above him. "Cool."

He flapped his wings and quickly rose up to the second cloud where he found Rainbow Dash sleeping like a baby. He gave her a quick poke and said, "Hey, Rainbow Dash?" but no response. She was still fast asleep. Poke. Poke. Still nothing. "Alright. Sweet dreams, Rainbow Dash." And with that he took off into the blue skies of Ponyville in search of a story. "Maybe Rarity has a story..."


"Hold still, darling." Rarity said to her living mannequin as she stuck a few pins through the fabric he was wearing. "You're doing a great job. Just a bit longer."

"How did I end up in this position again?" Ty asked, thinking about what happened between finding Rainbow Dash and now.

"You asked for a story, and I need to finish a suit for a client. I thought perhaps you could do a story on my newest creation." Rarity said.

"Uh, I'm not exactly fashion savvy. I was thinking maybe you had a story to share about you, your little sister, and her friend Scootaloo."

"Uh, I'm afraid not, dear. You sure you don't want to do a story on my newest designs?"

"Well, perhaps." he said looking at the various dress forms around the room. He thought for a minute and said, "say uh... these custom suits. Just in case I find myself in need of one, how much?"


"Here it is, Twilight." Ty said pulling out a copy of an astronomy book.

"Thanks, just set it down over here."

"Why didn't I just come here first?" he thought to himself as he lowered himself to the ground. "So, how's ponyville treating you?"

"Everypony's so friendly here, and it's interesting to see such a varied mix of pony species."

"Yeah, I hear most of Canterlot's population is unicorns."

"Not exactly, but that's at least true for where I lived." Twilight said, quickly doing math in her head and writing something down.

"So, anything interesting happen since you got here? I mean besides the whole Nightmare Moon thing."

"Well, last week I got two tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala."

"Really?" Ty asked, pulling out his notepad. "That's a pretty big deal. So which of your friends are you taking with you?"

"Well, that's the thing. It got to the point where half the town was chasing me just to get that other ticket."

Ty was writing down everything she said, "So what did you do?"

"I sent them back saying that if my best friends couldn't come with, I didn't want to go."

"A bold move."

"And it paid off. We all ended up getting tickets."

"That's very interesting. I'd love to go. I'd be able to write up a doozy of a story."

"Well, the only way that'd happen at this point is if you asked the Princess." Twilight said with a giggle.

"Well, thanks for your time, Twilight."

"No problem."


Next stop: Sugercube Corner.

As Ty walked up to the building, he raised his hoof to knock on the door but paused for a moment to think about what might happen. Every so often the Cakes had to leave town for a big catering order, and the last time that happened...

"HEYTYHOW'SITGOING?YOUDOIN'GOOD?THAT'SAWESOME!YOUHERELOOKINGFORASTORY?CAUSEIGOTAREALDOOZY..."

Ty's eye twitched just thinking about it. "Maybe this was a bad idea." He put his hoof down and started walking away but froze when he heard the door open and a certain pink pony's voice. "Hey Ty! How's it going? Here looking for a story?"

"Oh, uh, hi Pinkie." Ty said sheepishly. "No actually, I was here to uh... get some cookies! Yeah." Now that he thought about it, he really could use a snack.

"The Cakes are gone right now but they made a few batches before they left."

"Any double chocolate chunk?" He asked, ears perking up.

"You know it!"

"Sweet!" he said, trotting into the building.


"Okay," Ty said to himself carrying a small bag of cookies, "Two more story possibilities: Twilight and friends getting tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala or Rarity's newest creation." He paused for a second. "Mother of Celestia, this place is boring."

As he continued trotting along the ground started to shake. "Whoa, what's going on here? An earthquake? Or maybe a-"

"STAMPEEEEEDE!" Rainbow Dash cried in the distance.

"STAMPEDE?!" He thought to himself, eyes sparkling, bolting into the air to get a good look. Sure enough, in the distance, he saw a herd of cows barreling towards Ponyville at top speed as all the terrified citizens ran shelter. He pulled out his notepad and started writing, a smile plastered on his face as he did so. As he looked up again he saw Applejack amongst them, trying to get them in line. "This is perfect!" Soon he heard the cheering of the town as Applejack managed to deflect the stampede away from the town and ran off. "That was awesome. But now to get some quotes from the hero herself." He said as he flew off towards Sweet Apple Acres.

He flew a bit slower than he normally would as he ran various phrasings of various questions through his mind to prepare. As always, his first stop whenever visiting the Apples was the farmhouse. He went up and knocked on the door prepared to speak with either Applejack, Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, or Applebloom. The one who answered the door was a certain red maned flly: cute little Applebloom.

"Hey there, Applebloom."

"Hey Ty." Applebloom said with an adorable smile. "Ya here ta talk to Applejack about the stampede?"

"I am actually. Any idea where she is?"

"She's over 'n the east fields right now buckin' apples." Applebloom said, pointing in the general direction, "Just look fer some trees missin' apples."

"Thanks for your help. Tell Big Mac I said, "Get well soon."

"Thanks. See ya'll later!" Applebloom replied as she closed the door.

"East field." Ty said looking in the direction Applebloom pointed. "Trees missing apples." He took to the sky, thinking a bird's eye view would help him locate her faster. He looked around and saw tree upon tree full of delicious red apples. It took him a minute but he soon saw a line of apple-less trees and even found one shaking and dropping apples. As he descended below the treetops, he found Applejack working up a sweat, bucking apples.

"Hey there, Applejack." Ty said in a friendly manner. "I was wondering if you could spare a few seconds and answer a couple questions about the stampede?"

"'Fraid not. Ah need time and ah need ta concentrate. Come back in a couple days and ah'll be glad ta answer yer questions." Applejack said with a weary smile.

"Oh. Sure thing. See ya later." Ty replied, flying off.


A couple uneventful days later, Ty rested on a cloud in front of the town hall, waiting for the prize ceremony. A story about the town's prized pony stopping a stampede would be gold. He carefully listened to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy as they listed off Applejack's schedule for the week.

"Maybe I should hold off on the story 'til the rest of this happens." he said to himself as Mayor Mare introduced the pony of honor... who was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm here! I'm here!" Applejack said with a yawn as she slowly and somewhat clumsily walked up to the stage with saddle-baskets overflowing with apples, everpony watching. "... Thank ya kindly fer this here award thingy..."

"Wow. Has she gotten any sleep since the sampede?" He says to himself as he writes down in his notepad: Prized Pony Pooped? When he looked up, Applejack was dragging off the trophy and everypony was alrady starting to scatter. He seized the moment and went down to ask Applejack the questions he wasn't able to before.

"Hey there Applejack. You feel up to answering those questions?" Ty asked, getting out his notepad.

"Huh?" Applejack asked sleepily. "Oh, sure. Ask away."

"First question: Where were you when the stampede started?"

"Well, Ah..." Yawn. "Ah was in the fields about ta start applebuckin' when I felt the ground shakin'."

"Second Question: You seem to know how to handle a stampede quite effortlessly. Have you had much practice?"

"Well, it's mostly with the sheep since they... um... they uh..." Applejack rubbed her eyes. "What was the question again?"

"Have you had much practice with stampedes, and you were saying something about the sheep."

"Oh right. Yeah, the sheep can be restless critters sometimes but ya'll can herd critters in basically the same way, but it's best ta have some help. That's why we trained Winona the way we did. Best dern helper dog this side o' Canterlot. Anythin' else?"

"Just a couple more questions. Any information on why it started?"

"The cows got spooked by a snake. Never spook a herd o' cows. Never ends well."

"How's it feel to be awarded the prized pony award?"

"It feels great. Especially knowin' how helpful ah can be to the rest o' the town. That it?"

"Just one more question." Ty said, putting his notepad away. "Are you feeling alright? You seem a bit... sleepy."

Applejack summoned a sleepy smile and said, "Yeah. ah'm just fine. Ah appreciate the concern."

"Alright... Well, thank you very much. See you later." Ty said, flying off.

"Bye!" Applejack said, dragging the trophy along the ground.


Two more days had passed. Nothing interesting happened the previous day aside from rumors that Rainbow Dash might have fractured a couple of her ribs. Even then, like any reporter worth their ink, he followed up and learned that it was nothing but fluff, but did learn of Applejack's involvement in the near injury.

"I see where this is going... and it's a dark path..." he said to himself as he flew away from Rainbow Dash.

"She's supposed to be helping Pinkie bake muffins today!" Rainbow Dash yelled out.

"Oh no..." he said as he flew over to Sugarcube Corner, getting there just in time to see a sick pony getting carted to an emergency tent.

"Excuse me, Nurse Redheart." Ty said landing on the ground near the tent. "Type Writer for the Ponyville Express. Can I ask what happened?"

"To sum it up, there was something wrong with the muffins." Nurse Redheart said as she quickly grabbed a bucket for a pony about to blow chunks.

"Hey there, Ty..." Pinkie weakly smiled called out from her hospital bed, her face colored a sickly green. "I can tell you what happened..."

"Wow. Pinkie 'Iron Stomach' Pie getting an upset tummy. Unreal." He said, trotting up to Pinkie to get the details.

"I dunno what Applejack put in those muffins... I mean besides worms... but whatever was in there didn't mix too well." Pinkie giggled slightly. "I guess next time I should double check the mix before baking."

"We all make mistakes." Ty said, writing down what she said. "That's how we learn."

"Anyway, things were alright at first, though I should have thought something was up because of the weird smell, but the ponies seemed happy so I didn't think to ask. That's when everypony's stomach started turning. Everypony started heading for the nearest trash bin, toilet, whatever and then we ended up here." Pinkie recited the events strangely calm.

"Starting to think I should talk to Applejack again. Thanks Pinkie. Hope you get better soon."

"Thanks. Bye."


Once again, Ty found himself flying over to Sweet Apple Acres, but not for business reasons this time. As he looked around, he saw a good chunk of the orchard had been harvested. He scoured the area looking for shaking trees finally spotting something in the far end of the north field. When he got there, he found Applejack practically falling asleep every other second as she endeavored to harvest the apples.

"Hey there Applejack." Ty said, landing by her side.

"Oh, hey Ty." Applejack said, taking a rather hostile tone. "Ya here ta ask questions or tell me ta ask fer help?"

"Well, I just got done talking to Pinkie..."

"UGH! First Twilight, now you." Applejack got right up in Ty's face. "Let me make this clear: I DON'T! NEED! HELP!" She gave him a firm poke after each emphasized word.

"Well, I wasn't gonna say 'get some help'. I was gonna say take a break and get some sleep."

"Ah need to get all these apples harvested. Ah'll have plenty o' time ta rest after that's done."

"Next suggestion would be get some help, but she's already been pretty clear about that." Ty thought to himself. "Okay then... I'll just leave you to it."

"If only ah could get that message across ta Twilight."

"See ya later then." He said, flying off.


"Two days til' the deadline and I'm afraid of what'll happen with Applejack." Ty said to himself, as he headed towards Sugarcube Corner to get some more cookies. Suddenly, in the distance, he heard Rainbow Dash yell out, "STAMPEEEEEEDE!"

"Another one?" he said to himself as he flew up to get a better look. He looked out and saw a herd of rabbits storming into town, remembering what Fluttershy had said earlier.

"Applejack is helping me this week with the annual rabbit round up."

As he reached for his notepad and pencil, he couldn't find them. "Of course I would forget them at home." He said, flying off to grab his gear.


After grabbing his stuff from home, he took off towards Sweet Apple Acres to talk to Applejack again. After a bit of searching he found Applejack on a hill with a single apple tree, lying on the ground with Twilight nearby. He approached and landed, addressing the girls.

"Hey."

"Hi, Ty." Twilight replied

"Howdy." Applejack said, tired enough to pass out at any second.

"Did I miss something?"

"Nope. But I think Applejack's up for whatever questions you might have." Twilight said.

"Yeah, ah gotta lot to answer fer, don't I?"

"Well, let's not waste time..."


Ponyville's Prized Pony Pooped?

It just goes to show, being a workaholic can have consequences. Something that prized pony Applejack of Sweet Apple Acres learned the hard way this week. After an ill-planned bet, Big Macintosh was rendered unable to help with the year's harvest. So Applejack took it upon herself to harvest the entire orchard herself. Having been there at least three times this week, this reporter can say that's no small feat.

It was at the beginning of the harvest that the stampede of cows was diverted away from Ponyville by Applejack and her faithful companion Winona. Afterwards, she went straight to the fields to start on her work. However, it turns out at that point she "didn't get a wink o' sleep until the ceremony." Which was why she didn't exactly look her finest that day. The next day there was an incident inolving a device Rainbow Dash created to help her with her goal of impressing the Wonderbolts. There was a rumor that Miss Dash had fractured a couple ribs. "Nah, I'm fine. I got bones of steel. Besides, I've suffered through worse." said the steel pegasus herself. "But I think Applejack could use some help... or a break."

Local party pony Pinkie Pie who was affected by the muffin madness of a couple days ago said that Applejack "must not have heard the ingredients right." The inclusion of earthworms would inevitably lead one to that conclusion, but everypony at the sampling ended up in the hospital. When asked, the pony in question admitted, "Ah was really tired, and ah hit mah head on the way there. That musta knocked somethin' loose in there."

Applejack also admitted to being the cause of the rabbit raid this week. When asked about the cows she said that, "ya'll can herd critters in basically the same way." Though admitted to being mistaken when asked about the rabbits. "Ah guess it all depends on the critter." She ended the interview by asking this reporter, "Tell 'em all ah'm sorry 'bout everything that happened. Ah'll try to make it up by makin' extra cider this year."

So, when cider season comes around, bring your bits, there's gonna be more than usual.


After a long day of work, Ty finally returned home, but before he went in, he checked his mailbox. Inside was something rather odd: a scroll marked with the royal seal. "Huh?" Ty thought to himself as he pulled it out. "What would the princess want with me?" As he opened it up, he saw a gold colored ticket. "No way... By decree of... Mr. Type Writer is hereby... GRAND GALLOPING GALA! BEST! DAY! EVER!... Oh geez. I need to go see Rarity."