I came from a shimmering pool of crystal clear water. I moved from the dark forest to the cheery village that was built nearby. I was once a happy pink pony, but then things took a turn for the worst.
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cheezesauce
Joined 1st Dec, 2011 ·
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My attempt at writing in first person. Thanks to Casca for reviewing.
I take it this is from the perspective of a clone of Pinkie Pie who somehow slipped away only to be caught a short time later.
Pinkie Pie + Sad fic?
i1355.photobucket.com/albums/q714/mufffinpatrol/CLoTN3bzWEG-fMGY6WVd6Q2.gif
Sorry.
That was... one part high tension, some mysery, a dash of crazy and a decent underlying theme... Sweet!
Short, to the point and with enough pathos. Great job!
jeses. how many authors is going to maek a fic where the name 6 mistakes pinkie for a clone
It's just tiresome in the long run. At least we get a break from the half arsed clop that's usually surculating on the site
Did Pinkie die
i1300.photobucket.com/albums/ag83/TrollestiaSubject/meme.png
1650713
That's right. A Pinkie Pie story which is 90% suspense and 0% fun and laughter. ...Wait, why is everyone taking out their pitchforks and torches?
Damn. Grimdark. And CANON.
I loved the concept, drawn by the writing, and surprised with the excecution.
Very impressed Cheeze, I personally believe it is very hard to write a good story from the first person. You did it very well, I really felt like I was the Pinkie clone that escaped.
Well done,
White out.
1679752
Thank you so much for that awesome comment.
I actually think that it's easier to write in first person for fics in this genre. It allows me to exploit sentence fragments and dish out short, sharp thought processes, instead of having to tag the bits to a character in third person writing.
1679845
Well if you ever fancy trading stories if you need a pre-reader/editor let me know.
I want to try and learn more techniques for first person writing and so anything similar to this would be great to help with the inner workings of. As for what you were saying about the sentence fragments, I love using them from the third person to give a view on the world not seen from one persons view, but on the other hand... it's nice to feel like the character, all they're thoughts and emotions...
Ohh god
I'll stop rambling now.
Best regards,
White out
nooo Let pinkie pie live
1950967
Aww... but it's supposed to be a sad story.
definitely a great story, awesum job
4626819
Thanks! :)
Great story but at the beginning I thought they were murdering the REAL pinkie (were they murdering the real pinkie? I'm not sure
5651538
The story is being told from the perspective of one of the clones that didn't get rounded up along with the rest. (The mane six knew they missed out one, since the clones spawned in multiples of two)
So no, the real Pinkie is safe