• Member Since 18th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 24th, 2016

Sound Shard


I suck at this. Never stopped me before.

E

Twilight discovers another universe, and decides to bo with her brother, his wife, the two princesses, and the rest of the mane six. But... A minor accedent leaves Rarity bedridden in the hospital and cannot go. Therefore, Twilight has developed a new spell for transportable viewing.


Further description below.




Approximately three million years ago, in an age known as "The 90's" a man named Dave Lister worked on a mining ship in space, named Red Dwarf. After discovering that Lister had a cat onboard, a direct transgression of the ship's sanitation rules, the captain of the ship sentenced Lister to two years in stasis. Upon awakening, he finds that he was not, in fact, in stasis for 2 years. He was in stasis for three million. The only life forms remaining are: David Lister, the ships third technician (lowest rank), a hologram of Lister's bunkmate Second Technician Arnold Judas Rimmer, the ship's AI system Holly, a life form that evolved from Lister's cat, and a mechinoid they picked up along the way named Kryten.
Twilight Sparkle lives in Equestria, a world of high-class magical unicorns, fast middle-class Pegasi, and lower-class laboring regular earth ponies, or, if to be disrespectful, earthies. All royalty are alicorns, and the main ruler is Princess Celestia, with the help of her sisters Princess Luna and Princess Cadenza, or Cadence for short. Twilight is Celestia's faithful student, and was sent to Ponyville, a suburban village underneath the Pegasus capital Cloudsdale and also the root of very many problems: the Everfree Forest, to learn more about the magic of friendship. Along this journey she has made many friends, particularly five relatively young mares. These six friends have saved Equestria many a time. Twilight's five friends are Applejack, Pinkamina Pie (or Pinkie Pie for short), Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. Twilight also has an assistant, a baby dragon named Spike.

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 49 )

We all know what Red Dwarf and MLP are, I would recommend posting an actual summary of the story. As-is I have no incentive whatsoever to read this, I don't even know what it's about. Hopefully when this updates I'll see a description that grabs my attention. See you then mate.

There's not nearly enough structure in your setup. Too much dialogue, and not enough descriptive action. Do we know what the Red Dwarf crew has been doing lately? Do we even know what the crew are doing from one line to another? I ended skipping over the Ponyville section. I suggest giving this fanfic more thought. :facehoof:

Okay, I had to check this out because my brother keeps trying to get me to watch Red Dwarf. (I have seen the pilot episode, but that's it, and it was a while ago...) I actually think your paragraph introducing the show and its characters is a good idea.

I have a couple of suggestions for improving this...

First, break up your dialogue with spaces between the paragraphs. I think, because your dialogue sentences are so short, that that would be better than indenting them.

Next, I'd rather read snappy dialogue than dense prose any day (unless the writer is really, really good). But your story is almost all dialogue, and I don't remember what those Red Dwarf characters looked like, so some descriptive paragraphs would make this much better.

Finally, "Prologue" is spelled like so. It's minor, but little typos like this might chase away readers.

Hope that helps. This seems like a weird, but cool, idea.:twilightsmile:

Rimmers insult nickname is goal if head not post stamp head

1649633>>1649661>>1649691
To be honest the prolouge wassupposed to me mainly dialouge as a prolouge is for very very very minor plot setup. (at least for me. The next chapter will mos def have more description, but I'm glad you cared enough to give some constructive critisism.

1650305
:rainbowlaugh: Yeah, my dad told me too. I'm about to go fix that. Thanks! :raritywink:

1649691>>1649695
Thanks bros.
--o brofist?

1649633 1650305 1649691
I lied, the descriptive such and such will be in SECOND chapter :rainbowlaugh:. The next chapter will be more plot details in dialouge form. I'm sorry, but expect some chapters that are mostly dialouge. I'm a dialouge based writer... :trixieshiftright:

wow i never thought i would see and red dwarf crossover. dis gonna be gud :pinkiehappy:

Just FYI, Lister isn't cockney, he's from Liverpool. Cockney accents come from somewhere in London.

1702140
I said cockney-ish.
I don't know all the stuff and lingo crap. Sadly I'm American. Stupid nationalities.

Fix Listers speach because he dousnt speak with the right accent in some parts like when he says "tha" it dousnt sound like that he just has a normal English accent

1747756 I'd love to fix it, but everytime I try to, my editor *ahermTYREESEaherm* tries to tell me to fix it. I like to humor him. :rainbowderp: If it could be ignored, I apologize, but...
Nice to know though, I've gotten loads of good critisism on this fic. :pinkiehappy:
Ya know? I'm gonna go back Wednesday and make him speak normally. :derpyderp2: I'll leave the creative speach patterns ta my girl AJ.:ajsmug:
Thanks!

Is this based in Red dwarf series 4? But great story!

1774653
it's actually right after series V. glad you like it!

I've seen every episode.... Ya' smegger!!!

A MLP/Red Dwarf crossover?
I have to read this.

1858630
indeed you do
*aherm*
sorry,
"indeed yiu di"

1826985
Even though the actors have gotten a tad older they've lost none of their talent in Red Dwarf.
It's great.

Anyway.
Being British, I'm a huge fan of Red Dwarf. Adding ponies to it just makes it ten times better.
Well done with this sir/madam.

1933121
You can be.
All you've got to do is belive...

Oh, sir then.
Well done sir.

1988010
Everything, that is your answer. Now dance! :raritydespair::raritycry::raritydespair::raritycry:

1988020
I said that at how absolutely ridiculous this idea is.
Still earned a fave and thumbs up from me though.

1988025
YAYZ! :yay:

I'm pulling this out of my ass, though. Luckily I've finished writing it! You came near the end, you know.

(He is pulling it from his ass. This is becoming increasingly interesting to edit...)

1988030 not a fan of red dwarf but the story is so ridiculous i had to read it and i lol'd.

1988040 as i said, The ridiculousness is whats making me read this.

1988043
If you think this storyline is rediculous, you should hear what he originally planed. I edited it out. We can't have Ivory dieing, can we?
She was becoming increasingly hard to write. I mean, hiw many peiple really understand what she says? All it really is is a steaming pile if Daniel Way's Wilverine. Si, I ended up just leaving it with what happens next.
Ivory doesn't die, if you're wondering. Ignore his insolent blabbering

1988097
You funny. Disgusting, but funny. I like you!

The Brazil nut is one of the hardest nuts to consume. A tough shell, difficult to penetrate, keeps the hungry from it's delicious flesh.

Your story is likened to a Brazil nut - at first difficult to understand, but worth the work invested. Your most sizable problem lies in the fact that many readers don't want to expend the energy to crack the nut.

They do however, miss the morsel that you have oh so painstakingly made. Keep working, though! Writing for me has always been a "play it by ear" deal; the longer you write, the better you get.

I love the way you connected the dialog between all the places at once! :rainbowlaugh: They know!!!!

Just noticed a slight formatting error.

"Er... Um... I think you should... Maybe... Get some rest? if that's okay by you... i don't want to impose..." suggested Fluttershy from a corner, in refrence to Lister. Seeing his current state, she thought a good nap might do him good.

It would be a good idea to have paragraphs, overwise it makes it a little difficult to read.

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