• Published 22nd Apr 2013
  • 1,671 Views, 210 Comments

Snickersnatch - SpiralWriter

Oddjob awakens to a much different Equestria . . .

  • ...

IV - Friends New and Old


By: Quisky

Chapter Four:

Friends New and Old

I strutted down the hallway, whistling a happy tune (even though I had no idea that I could whistle). Every pony that I passed I greeted with a wide grin, flashing the mark upon my arm proudly. They, of course, had no idea what it meant, and probably were weirded out by the seven-foot tall jabberwocky just marching around the castle in a blue trenchcoat and armor.

I had never felt so good before. That time I won the claw-grab machine in the arcade four times in row? Nothing compared to this. How about meeting Buzz Lightyear at Disney World? Nope. Learning the joys of endless internet hours? Not even close my friend.

Princess Luna herself had given me a cutie mark, and I'd wear it until the fabrics that composed the bandana would wear out.

I sighed in almost a giddy fashion. Still riding off the happiness of the event, I reached into the jacket pocket, pulling out the scroll and unrolling it, the third item already magically scratched out in appearing ink. The fourth item upon the list was to meet up with somebody that 'I knew' in one of the guest rooms of the castle. Who was this mysterious person? No idea. In my previous travels, I had met many . . . characters, some pleasant, others not so much.

I paused to think of who it might be. Alamo? I allowed a sneer to cross my face. The old geezer kicking after ten years? I hoped so, but it wasn't very likely. A few more names topped my head, but I wouldn't really know until I got there. I made my way through the castle and towards the guest room in which the meeting was to occur. Before I could open the door, it slammed itself open and something very big, very furry, and very white pounced on me.

"So what's your story with the statue anyway?"

Legion casually looked up from his plate of raw meat, blood staining his white coat and stringlets of beef dangling from his jowls. It took every hardened nerve he had for the guard not to throw up. Ponies obviously weren't carnivores, and the process of retrieving the meat was . . . unsavory for them. They usually kept the meat of a mystery creature stored away just in case a griffin or even a dragon was a guest at the castle.

The diamond dog swallowed before speaking, making a hacking noise to force the sheer chunk of blood and guts down his gullet. "Nearly everypony knows of the Seizing of Canterlot. We heard that the newspapers played off of the story for weeks, some calling Oddjob a hero, others just a monster that decided to try and repent for his crimes."

"That was ten years ago. What do you say?" The guard averted his eyes from the disgusting display of eating.

"We say that the Fiery One was wronged. In the last few centuries, your ruler hasn't changed a bit. She kept him encased within stone for a decade, despite his heroic efforts." The dull voice took on a growling tone.

"I'd keep your complaints about Her Most Fair Majesty down, she's got eyes and ears everywhere, and I'm one of them."

"We were cursed with life. Celestia would not have us killed."

"I know it seems harsh at first . . . but the princess knows what she's doing. She's older than almost everything on the planet."

"Age may guarantee knowledge, but does it guarantee morals or even sanity?"

"Seems pretty pessimistic of you."

"Look beyond your role as just a pawn in this grand game of the universe. You try living underground for nearly three-hundred years, or be a living statue with just yourself as company, then come tell us that we are being pessimistic."

". . ."

Legion merely shook his head at the silence, only went on with eating the meat before him until there was nothing but a bone left, licked-clean and picked of meat. The beast licked his chops, savoring the last taste of flavor upon his tongue. At a moment's notice, his ears perked up and his nose began to quiver.


He leapt out of his seat and dashed across the room, nearly knocking the door off its hinges to tacklepounce Oddjob to the floor, licking his face and wagging his tail ecstatically. The Alpha had returned.

I had come to recognize the 'taste' of certain beings by flicking out my tongue and gauging the air around them. Legion had definitely bounded upon me, still smelling of dog and that somewhat ancient scent that all old things carried with them. It was like being greeted by your fuzzy best friend when you got back home from a long day at work or school, and this kinda made me happy.

"Okay, down boy." I chuckled. "Down Legion. Down . . . down . . . enough with the licking . . ." I spat out as he persisted. "Down . . . down . . . DOWN!"

I heaved him off me, standing up and wiping his shedded fur from the jacket. I turned to see him standing up on his haunches, those dead eyes looking up at me, but his tongue lolled to the side of his mouth and panting. I could only chuckle and grin at him. "It's good to see you too, Legion."

"And you as well, Alpha Oddjob."

"Alpha?" I curiously raised an spiky eyebrow.

"You never officially had the rank taken from you. You are still Alpha to Fenrir Pack."

"Oh . . . well, thanks?"

". . . It is agreed. Six-hundred and eighty of us want you to remain the pack leader, while three-hundred and twenty do not. You may remain Alpha."

"Ooookay . . . ?"

"You are lucky we did not settle this with a bloodmatch. We have become much more democratic in our approach to settling matters of the pack."

"Glad to see you're still weird, Legion."

"Glad to see you are still composed of many animals that do not match together."

". . ."

"We tried to make a joke."

"Keep working on it."

A short cough interrupted our regathering. I turned to see one of Celestia's Solar Guards step out of the room Legion himself had barreled out of. The pony himself wasn't very striking, average build, colored white, but his armor did denote something of rank. It was sleeker than the rest, didn't appear as bulky, and his helmet seemed to bore spikes instead of the crest upon the other golden-wearing guards.

"Sorry to break up this reunion, but you do have a schedule to keep sir, and you don't want to know what happens when Princess Twilight's schedules get broken."

I smiled to myself, knowing fully well what would happen if Twilight Sparkle had a schedule broken, but I shrugged anyway. "Alright, I'll be off then. Can Legion come with?" I jabbed a finger towards the mutt.

The guard nodded. "Actually, we both are to escort you."

"Oh. Then what's your name, soldier?" I thought adding 'soldier' to the end made me sound pretty official and military-like.

"Goldguard, sir. I protect the royal treasury, patrol the outer walls, and occasionally hunt down scraggly dogs of legend for a couple years."

". . . Your name is Goldguard, who wears gold, and literally guards gold?"

". . . At least my name secured me a decent job."

It kept everything that I had in my store of willpower not to guffaw right there in the poor chap's face.