• Published 22nd Apr 2013
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Snickersnatch - SpiralWriter

Oddjob awakens to a much different Equestria . . .

  • ...

XIII - The Amazing Autonomic Robotic Wonder-Mare


By: Quisky

Chapter Thirteen:

The Amazing Autonomic Robotic Wonder-Mare

". . . Does it work?" Goldguard asked, stepping forward to examine the revealed cargo we had retrieved, leaving Agatha to be detained by Legion. He circled around the robotic pony, tapping her gently on one of her eyes with his hoof, making a small ping. She quickly turned to him in reaction, making him stumble backwards.

"Of course it works! And 'it' is a she, thank you very much." She spoke, every syllable sounding a mixture of a woman and a computer's beeping. Reminded me of one particular AI from a video game about science and portals.

Goldguard immediately retreated behind me, obviously very wary of the technological pony. I could see where he was coming from. Lived in a world of magic, not of machines. Once the initial startup was over, Penny let out a small cough, as if she were actually clearing her throat.

"Greetings all, I am Penny, each letter standing for a component in my programming. Created by Flim and Flam Incorporated on the ninth day in the ninth month of Celestia's Year, I'm an everypony's bot! Too many chores around the household? I'm equipped with several cleaning devices for any tough stain or mess. Getting too rickety for yardwork? I'm more than capable of trimming your lawn to the finest degree. Any task, any problem, I can handle it." She smiled quite proudly.

"Penny dear," Flim chuckled, walking over and placing a hoof over her shoulder. "We didn't wake you up to sell you to these kind folks, merely a showcase."

Her eyes flickered, now switching to a narrowed view of annoyance. "Then that was pointless."

"No," I chuckled. "Quite different. Nice to meet you, err, Penny." I said, extending a hand towards her. She looked down at it, seemingly perplexed.

"You shake it, my dear. It's a form of greeting." Flam explained walking to the adjacent side of their creation and wrapping his own foreleg around her neck, crossing over his brother's.. She made a little 'O' with her mouth as if finally understanding some deep mystery. She promptly reached forward with her foreleg, the movement actually very fluid, something I didn't expect, and shook my hand, creating a small gear-whirring sound. As expected, she felt very cold, given that she was made of metal.

"A pleasure to meet you as well, strange dragon."

"More like a jabberwocky. Name's Oddjob."

Her eyes briefly flickered with those lines of numerical, binary code. The next instance, they returned to as normal as digitally-generated eyes could be. "Oddjob. Stored away, won't forget."

I smiled a little. "Glad to hear that."

The two brothers both smiled, obviously pleased with how the introduction of their latest and greatest invention had come about. They removed their hooves from hooking around her, nodding over to Stock Smith, who ambled over to them as quickly as his stout body could.

"We'll be right back," Flim started.

"Have a few loose ends to tie up." Flam continued. "In the meantime, would you be so kind as to keep our dear Penny company?"

I shrugged in reply. "Why not? Just let Smith speak with me when you're done."

"Fair enough, my good man." A tip of the hat, and the three went away, probably to some secluded office, away from the officials and the workers.

I headed back over to my companions and captured witness, Penny striding alongside me, her hooves making a small, metallic clank with every step. She still held that small, childlike smile, digital eyes curiously examining us all.

"Who are you?" She piped up towards Legion.


"Hi, I'm Penny."

"We heard." If Legion's tone could have sarcasm in it, I was pretty sure it was in those two words.

"And you?" Now nodding towards the griffin. She was met with the fierce gaze of an eagle's stare, but the automaton seemed unfazed.

"I'm Princess Celestia, who do you think I am?" Agatha spat out.

"A griffin with a sense of humor." Penny chuckled.

"She's uh, our witness." I said. Felt weird to refer to another being as such. Witness to an investigation I didn't even want to carry out.

"Witness to what?" She continued on questioning, sounding sincerely curious within her almost auto-tuned words.

"Um...we don't know that yet." I admitted. "We were going to ask Smith, see what he has to give us, then move onto Agatha over here. It's all related, somehow." I shrugged. "Just know it, y'know? That gut feeling you get when you can feel a connection?"

"I don't have a gut." She replied with a beeping chuckle. "I have a little panel that goes over an empty storage space, if that counts as a tummy."

"That's adorable." I point out, to which Goldguard nodded in reply, but Agatha gagged and Legion merely remained emotionless as always. I stepped forward towards the griffin, bending low as to look her in the eyes. Yup, still just a smidge intimidated by that glare.

"Look," I began. "I think my boys here are getting tired of holding onto you, so I'll cut you a deal. They stop holding you, but you stick around to tell your story."

"And what makes you think I won't try to escape?" She spited.

"You saw me take down your boss." Was all the words I had to say.

". . . Fair enough."

I nodded towards Legion and Goldy, both releasing her at the same time. She hit the ground with a small thunk, scrambling back up to her feet, wiping the dust off and stretching her wings. Once she stood up, I saw that she was slightly large than Goldguard, and even he stood at a bulky height. I looked around, gauging heights once more. From shortest to tallest, it ranged from Penny, Goldguard, Agatha, Legion, then myself.

A scuffling of hooves interrupted my thoughts, and the three businessponies joined us once again. "He's all yours, Mr. Jobs." The brothers say in unison, Stock still looking as if he was about to sweat enough to fill a riverbank. I lead him aside, crossing my arms and looking down at him stoically. Thus, the sweating continued. I hoped he was drinking enough fluids to replace all that.

"Alright Smith, we made a deal. I kept my end, now do your part."

"Fine, fine . . ." He mumbled. "Most of my workers spend their freetime at a little brewery down the way. The ones I fired are probably still there, spending their last earned bits on getting drunk." He gave me the directions to the pub, and I nodded with a grin. "Much obliged."

I went back over to my crew, snapping my claws, sending small sparks to scatter in the air. "Right everyone, move out. Got a location."

"Finally." Goldguard grumbled, rolling his eyes in the direction of Stock Smith. Right before we left the warehouse, I was interrupted by a sudden cough from Flim, followed by another cough from Flam. I sighed and turned back around, seeing both of them, along with Penny, smiling at me.

". . . What?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"We have a proposition for you, Mr. Job." Flim began. Uh-oh. Hope they weren't trying to sell me anything. I'd probably end up buying like, three of whatever they were offering. I had horrible shopping skills, and whenever I had money, I had the urge to spend it on needless things.

"Erm . . . about what?" I continued. Back out now man, don't go any further. You'll end up selling them your armor and stick to pay for it.

"Penny spoke with us. She finds you quite interesting." Flim said.

"Um . . . go on?"

"Now, she's an A.I., that's Artificial Intelligence for those of you who aren't in the know-how of fancy lingo," Flam continued. "As she does, she learns. But unfortunately, she hasn't learned enough. We've had her cooped up in that crate for quite a while, so her skills may be a bit rusty."

"I don't have any rust on me." Penny interrupted meekly.

"We've noticed that you're going places, Oddjob, we can just feel it. So how's about this? You take Penny with you? She gets experiences, you get the most technologically advanced piece of machinery in all of Equestia. What do you say, my good man?"

"Erm . . ." I smacked my lips, thinking it over. All in all, it sounded really, really cool to have a robot following you around. Who wouldn't jump at the chance? But, it might slow down whatever investigation I was carrying out. On one hand, fucking cool robot. On the other, having to take care of her and probably plug her in every night to recharge her batteries. Decisions, decisions . . .

"Sure." I gave my answer quickly. "Penny can come along."

"Yay!" Penny clapped her hooves, banging them together that emulated a sledgehammer hitting a railway spike. She went over to join us, smiling up at me sweetly. How could I ever think of saying no to that face?

"Well, you be off then!" Flam chuckled. "From what Smith tells us, you have a royal investigation to carry out! May wherever you go, riches and good fortune follow."

I nodded and smiled, all of us leaving the warehouse, a new companion in tow.

"Um . . Sirs?" Stock Smith interceded, two sets of eyes falling upon him. "Was that really a good idea? Wherever that fellow is going, I'm sure it won't be safe. The product could get ruined . . ."

"I'm going to stop you there." Flim said, stepping forward. "First of all, Penny is not a product, no matter what we may say in front of other ponies." He said rather sternly, Smith having to back up from the two brothers advancing towards him. "She's a living being, something we don't intend to sell lightly."

"And we know the dangers of sending her out, but she requested it herself, something she hasn't done in a long, long time." Flam continued on with the speech, backing Smith into a wall. "Are you a father, Smith?" He asked, to which the heavyset pony shook his head.

"Then you won't understand this. Penny is our creation, and we feel responsible for her. It felt like letting a child go, but we knew we had to."

". . ."

"We can't keep controlling her, stuffing her into a box and moving her around like just an object."

"But sirs . . . she's just a machine . . ." He immediately regretted his words, both of them plowing into him, shoving him against the wall hard.

"She's our daughter." They said at the same time.

Author's Note:

Note: Incest is wrong, dear readers. Unless you and your brother build a robot together. Then you can kinda feel like daddies to it.