Departing
The sun was rising over Equestria as Celestia took over from her sister Luna, ponies everywhere were still fast asleep in their beds save for the ones who were either awake for work or waking up to go to work, milk mares and mail colts were delivering their goods shop keepers began the mundane task of stock checking and setting up cash registers such was a normal day in Coltchester. However for one particular colt sleeping away, today was a special day one that would forever change his life for the better.
Ratchet woke with a loud yawn and a grumble about the time, he was an average colt of medium brown fur with a medium lengthed brown mane, he slumped out his bed yawning once more his cutie mark, a spanner and a hammer in an ‘x’ position was displayed on his flank. Ratchet wondered lazily over to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face to try and wake himself up from his sleep, blinking into the mirror with his ice blue eyes before it hit him like a ton of brick what today was as his face lit up grinning from ear to ear excitedly wide eyed.
“I’m finally getting out of here...” he said to himself quietly.
Ratchet was the only child of Mr Spanners Fix it, a colt of identical fur and mane colourings as his son save for a few noticeable grey and white hair strands forming and Mrs Ruby Fix it, who was a white furred Pegasus with a beautiful blonde mane. His father was a successful handy pony going around doing jobs for everypony ranging from simple DIY to cart and train repairs, his mother on the other hoof was a tailor. They had been childhood sweethearts and despite different job professions loved each other dearly, Ratchet was born to them and got his cutie mark during a wood work lesson at his school where he built several perfect birdhouses from scratch. This made his father over joyed and when he left school he worked alongside his father for a while in his shop however his real passion was for inventing. Over the course of many months Ratchet had created various knick knacks to assist him and his father…some not so successful but more than most worked. Ratchet had always dreamed of living his own life and his chance came after he received a large pay check from the local train company after he had fixed several of their locomotives.
After washing his face and fully snapping back into reality he put on what appeared to be a saddle with two not so large bags on either side, he looked at the mirror and noticed his mane was rather messy. As if from nowhere two robotic tendrils either side of him each with a humanoid hand on the end emerged from the bags and neatened his mane into backward spikes before retreating back into the bag with a beep.
“Thanks APAU” he grinned as the bag beeped loudly happily; APAU (A-POW) was one of Ratchet’s favourite and best inventions, it stood for Automatic Pony Assistance Unit. He had originally created it to help his father when he left but his father insisted on not wanting as he put it “I’m fine by myself my boy, don’t need no pony…or no machine standing by me all the time, gotta live my life” Ratchet was a little disappointed by this but decided to use the machine himself and it assisted in his work easily, although not fully AI Ratchet sometimes wondered if his machine was aware of its surroundings.
After he had come had some food and brushed his teeth he headed downstairs APAU was carrying his suitcases as his mother sniffled slightly tearing up as her husband hugged her with one arm smiling.
“You’re going to do us proud kiddo” the old colt grinned clapping a hoof on his sons back; Ratchet smiled hugging the colt tightly.
“Thanks dad…” he closed his eyes replying.
It took several minutes for his mother to stop sobbing dramatically and nearly choked him from how tightly she clung onto him, his father having to pry her off as she sniffled softy
.
“I’m just going to miss my baby boy” she said through chokes of sobs, Ratchet smiled softly nuzzling under her chin and gave her one last hug before departing the house, APAU placed the bags on the taxi cart climbing on he was driven away, looking back one last time to wave goodbye to his parents. Arriving at the train station Ratchet carried one suitcase in his mouth the other was being carried by a porter, he didn’t use APAU because not many ponies knew of its existence and he didn’t want to cause alarm.
Ratchet stood on the platform looking down the station to the horizon, the train wasn’t there yet and it was still early morning however he took note of the several ponies standing on either side of the two platforms some dressed up in smart fancy suits, he began to wonder as he did whilst waiting where they were going and what they did for a living.
He was brought back to reality by a loud whistle of a large steam locomotive that was pulling in from the southern part of the station; the train came to a loud stop hissing out steam as the guard called from the back.
“ALL ABOOOOOOARD THE NON-STOP EXPRESS TO PONYVILLE!!” the colt bellowed out.
Ratchet winced slightly forgetting he was still tired and the loudness of the shouting had rumbled in his head, he boarded the train and took as seat looking out of the window as the train started to pull away from the station slowly at first he watched as the last sight of Coltchester disappeared from sight, relaxing he smiled to himself, he was one his way to a new life.
“A new life…” he whispered to himself smiling as he watched the scenery go by.
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Nice start so far. Btw I found some errors in the text. The main one that I noted was
(...he was an average colt of medium brown fur and medium brown fur,) Repeat of words there man.
Other than that nice start, like I said
1645206Whoopsie, Fixed it now thanks for mentioning it and thanks for the comment :)
1645227No problem anytime. When do you think the next chapter will be out?
1645282 If I don't get bogged down by my coursework, possibly tonight but most likely tommorow
Hoorah sounds like a plan. I'll check it out then when it gets here, I'm definatly interested in what happens. Avante!
1645332Hehe thanks :D
Oh my...
This... Is... So... Awesome!
Insta fav and like
LOVE the premise, but if I may ask... are you in need of an editor? There are a number of grammar mistakes which I found and some things which honestly should have been caught. As an example...
First, the bolded words: You misspelled mechanic not once, but twice, and in two different ways. In addition, you could easily remove one or the other and still get a complete thought.
Second, the underlined word: It should be tinkerer. Tinker is a verb while adding the extra -er makes it a descriptor.
Third, the italicized phrase: It needs to be changed around so that it flows more smoothly. Here is a good replacement using your own words... A gifted tinkerer and general DIY, Ratchet Fix It was a colt determined to... hmmm... really, the only thing that need's doing to improve the flow is to remove the phrase 'of mechanic' and add a comma.
Fourth, you made that entire paragraph one sentence...
PM me if you are interested in improving your writing.
1645709Glad you liked it so far, Mental note for myself - Stop writting things at two in the morning =. =
and as for editing sure why not 
Is it that time of night? Because you just capitalized 'mental' for no reason and added an extra t to 'writing'
And before I commit myself, I have a few questions which I need to ask. Expect a PM from me.
1645844-Facedesk- =_=
Nice OC, I must say.
1646326 Thank you :)
This story has intrigued me... however, I cannot continue with it.
The grammar was too bad. When I came in, I assumed you meant a few mistakes here and there but this? Either English isn't your natural language, you're younger than thirteen, or you are in dire need of grammar assistance. Hopefully its the last one so that this story could be fixed shortly and I can continue reading it. .
Please get an editor. I saw that someone offered to edit it, however I don't see any progress(unless he did try to edit it...
). Once this story has been updated, please let me know and I'll be happy to continue it.