• Member Since 18th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Judoon_Warrior


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A lot of people have been waking up as ponies recently, so I thought wow, maybe I'll get to wake up as one. Oh how wrong I was yeah I changed all right but not into a pony no I woke up as a loud, muscle bound Minotaur. This Is the story of how I woke up as Iron Will.

Part of the Ponyearthverse

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 22 )

Looks like someone's either in love with their "caps lock" or their "shift" key. :rainbowlaugh:
I've only got two gripes:

No its not that. Its PONY TIME.

Both of those "its" should be "it's" because you're using them to hold the place of "it is".
Other than that, good start. I'll happily await more.

don't like Iron Will but this was good

I was thinking about this right before I found this story......:pinkiegasp:

Epic.:rainbowdetermined2:

Oh my God, Alex is Cherilee. Ponyvilles very own School teacher. Just like his actual job!

- *Ponyville's Remember those possessive apostrophes.

While he's doing this, his faces pulls into different positions, showing his anguish.

- *Face I sincerely doubt Cheerilee is some multi-faced eldritch horror.

"Alex, I don't think your in any condition to go to work today"

- *You're

"Yeah, I've given up trying to walk, and I'm content with spending the rest of my days as a caterpillar"

- You're missing a period at the end of this sentence.

"Fine, I'll carry you to the Table" He then gives me a sarcastic smile.

- The 'T' does not need to be quoted and you need a period at the end of the statement.

In fact, you should put a period at the end of a lot of your dialogue. Here's an example of it being done correctly.

"Leaver here alone!" Twilight yelled.
Nightmare Moon replied flatly, "NO."
"Then you leave me no choice." Twilight charged at The Nightmare and focused her magic into a sharp point.
"Fool, you cannot stop me."
With that Nightmare Moon dissipated into a mist and flowed out of the basement, leaving Twilight alone in her now wrecked laboratory.

For a more comprehensive guide on grammar, I recommend reading this. It helped me immensely after I read it and took the contents to heart.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WMMs8H-GpFIXPsQeC0RNu8V-Cq6uyGl_UERpOUK_6KY/edit?pli=1
It's Equestria Daily's "Editor's Omnibus". Its a nice short guide that will help you learn about some of the mistakes you're making.

Besides more movement capabilities in there Legs, Equestrian ponies appear to be the same biologically as regular horses and ponies.

- *their legs

That said, I'm amused by how this dynamic is going to unfold. One brother totally emasculated by becoming Cheerilee, and the other become the buffest, manliest character in the show next to Roid Rage? I think I'll fave for now so I can keep up to date on this fic. I have an older brother, he was a righteous ass as well.

If anything like this happens on 2012, I'm moving to Japan. :facehoof: It should also be noted that I rather like this story so far, and expect a continuation.

Time for class. Take attendance, and pay attention to teacher.

Hmm...how can one be finished fondling a beard? Beard's a life-long obsession! Great to see an update.

I believe that Iron Will was both a gentleman and a talented public speaker in that episode. As such, I am certain that Fluttershy didn't have a problem with him at all, save for a dislike of using some of his methods.

Surprisingly, I think Iron Will was the most reasonable character in "Putting Your Hoof Down".

I don't think it is a problem of him having small hooves as him being ridiculously top-heavy. How did you find any shirt that fit you?

your not a monster your a minataur

I wonder what happens when you watch DBZ episodes with Hercule in them now.

Good thing you weren't singing the cider song. that one goes on forever.

*reads author note* Ohhhhh. At first I wondered if it was with Iron Will's way of speaking in third person Tim had begun to do the same :rainbowlaugh:

This is a great story and it's got a lot of great laughs(though that's a given with it having Iron Will!) I look forward to more

>>>I grab the beef and eat it, thank god it tasted just as good as I remember it and I still don’t feel sick eating it. “Oh Yeah” I shout “I can still eat meat”>>>

He then proceeded to eat Cheerilee, since he was a monster (who made Fluttershy cry, which is pretty much equivalent to cannibalism, I'm told)

:trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

2881277

:flutterrage: "He's not a monster, he's a minotaur!"

Couldn't let that one go any longer :trollestia: :trollestia:

I feel like hè was a bit too quickly convinced that was indeed his brother. You could make him ask questions that only hè would know. Just doesn't see logical that hè would believe him imidiatly

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