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A lot of people have been waking up as ponies recently, so I thought wow, maybe I'll get to wake up as one. Oh how wrong I was yeah I changed all right but not into a pony no I woke up as a loud, muscle bound Minotaur. This Is the story of how I woke up as Iron Will.
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Looks like someone's either in love with their "caps lock" or their "shift" key.
I've only got two gripes:
Both of those "its" should be "it's" because you're using them to hold the place of "it is".
Other than that, good start. I'll happily await more.
don't like Iron Will but this was good
I was thinking about this right before I found this story......
Epic.
- *Ponyville's Remember those possessive apostrophes.
- *Face I sincerely doubt Cheerilee is some multi-faced eldritch horror.
- *You're
- You're missing a period at the end of this sentence.
- The 'T' does not need to be quoted and you need a period at the end of the statement.
In fact, you should put a period at the end of a lot of your dialogue. Here's an example of it being done correctly.
For a more comprehensive guide on grammar, I recommend reading this. It helped me immensely after I read it and took the contents to heart.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WMMs8H-GpFIXPsQeC0RNu8V-Cq6uyGl_UERpOUK_6KY/edit?pli=1
It's Equestria Daily's "Editor's Omnibus". Its a nice short guide that will help you learn about some of the mistakes you're making.
- *their legs
That said, I'm amused by how this dynamic is going to unfold. One brother totally emasculated by becoming Cheerilee, and the other become the buffest, manliest character in the show next to Roid Rage? I think I'll fave for now so I can keep up to date on this fic. I have an older brother, he was a righteous ass as well.
If anything like this happens on 2012, I'm moving to Japan.
It should also be noted that I rather like this story so far, and expect a continuation.
Time for class. Take attendance, and pay attention to teacher.
Hmm...how can one be finished fondling a beard? Beard's a life-long obsession! Great to see an update.
//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applebloom_lolface.png //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png
I believe that Iron Will was both a gentleman and a talented public speaker in that episode. As such, I am certain that Fluttershy didn't have a problem with him at all, save for a dislike of using some of his methods.
Surprisingly, I think Iron Will was the most reasonable character in "Putting Your Hoof Down".
I don't think it is a problem of him having small hooves as him being ridiculously top-heavy. How did you find any shirt that fit you?
your not a monster your a minataur
2279795
I wonder what happens when you watch DBZ episodes with Hercule in them now.
More, I demand more!
Good thing you weren't singing the cider song. that one goes on forever.
*reads author note* Ohhhhh. At first I wondered if it was with Iron Will's way of speaking in third person Tim had begun to do the same
This is a great story and it's got a lot of great laughs(though that's a given with it having Iron Will!) I look forward to more
>>>I grab the beef and eat it, thank god it tasted just as good as I remember it and I still don’t feel sick eating it. “Oh Yeah” I shout “I can still eat meat”>>>
He then proceeded to eat Cheerilee, since he was a monster (who made Fluttershy cry, which is pretty much equivalent to cannibalism, I'm told)
2881277
Couldn't let that one go any longer
more
I feel like hè was a bit too quickly convinced that was indeed his brother. You could make him ask questions that only hè would know. Just doesn't see logical that hè would believe him imidiatly