John’s life had taken a turn for the worse since he moved from the bustling city of Los Angeles to a quiet mountain town named Dewford. He had expected a change of scenery and a calmer state of living.
That was not the case, as he’s had to deal with racist citizens, money problems, and several people who won’t get off his back. Life had gone wrong so far. Now he has to deal with a strange hippie girl with a butterfly tattoo. John just hopes this new addition doesn’t complicate things further.
Edited by:
A Dumb Door [chapter 1-2}
Sqarishoctagon [chapter 3-40]
Chapters (40)
please feel free to comment.
I want to know what you guys think of the story.
i48.tinypic.com/vxi1bl.jpg
It has some potential. Although I think that Fluttershy would start to wise up to the situation pretty fast. While she might not understand what things are, she would at least get some understanding within the first day.
Otherwise, as my picture illustrates, I like this, more please!
not all that bad though the grammar needs some ruffening up
1841629 I did get an editor. I guess I should talk with him.
1841659 an editor should be able to catch what I can being as I am rather far from being an editor
I'd say, first things first, put some capital letters in your summary. I don't even want to read the story itself because your opening pitch for your writing skills includes a complete lack of the shift key.
1841754 That was cold.
But I tried my best. Now edited as much as i could see.
This was Great!
He gonna fucking rape her then murder her. I just know it. Poor Fluttershy.
1844006 I'm not the kind of person who would write that.
your scaring me.
Seriously. Why all the hate?
Not hatin. I love this fic. The rape and murder thing was just a joke. I didn't mean to send a message of distaste. This has been great so far. Needs a little more meat on it, but it's good nonetheless.
I hope you will continue.
1844527 Sure, no worries. I just was reminded of a classmate that said my stories need more hookers and death. I promise the story will get more meatier as it progresses, whatever that means.
I am on chapter 6 at the moment and it just needs to go through the editor to get it up.
Good to hear! ^^
Edit 1 complete. Hopefully there is less of a distraction this time.
Whenever I find girls with butterfly tattoos, that tattoo is a surprise, and it's never on their shoulder.
2060020 I'm not sure if that is a suggestion for the story, or a crude joke.
Awww!!!!!
2060052 Which part?
2060071 to how she was so... Fluttershy? The blushing was alway's cute!
2060108 Ah, well I try to keep in character as much as possible. A bit hard sometimes when I'm a stone hearted person. Still, the way she is in touch of her emotions, always displaying shyness or worry, makes her my favorite pony.
*GASP* It updated????? *SQUEE*
2060158
yes... through much trial I managed to update. I plan to update every two to three weeks from now on.
hopefully....
2060177 I see you had problems with editing, I would love to help with this if you are interested.
2060862 Sorry, but the position has been filled.
I am subscribed to a help forum for specifically MLP fan fiction. I got help there from someone who has read my story before it was published.
No comments yet? Really? Alright.
Well, I loved the story so far. I do however hope to see longer chapters and more so a better building of Fluttershy and who she is, aside from just her discomfort in real life.
Keep up the good work.
i like the story, and i'm very interested in his past. i cant wait for the next chapter.
I want to reveal several awkward bumbs in the story... but that Derpy with some kind of hunting rifle won't let me formulate what I'd like to say...
2344822 Go ahead, I need to expand as a writer. I'll calm down Derpy with a muffin cart
I will brake that officers balls if he even tried!!!
2443447 don't be mean to the rookie. He means no harm.
I'm more worried about the racist bully.
2444098
Dont worry about the bully he'll get a 45. Up his ass
Damn right I cried
this story is stared get interesting, Please continue.
"he simply reached onto his hip, lifting his shirt and exposing his hidden handgun " people like this bug the shit out of me...
2646278 I tried to make him unlikable. And the fact that I have friends in the NRA that would do this to protect themselves made it interesting.
Wooo!!! Love this story.
The feels from this.
Aww BUCK yeah an update!
Can't wait for more. This story is soooo awesome
Make me cry why don't you.
3197450 I'm...Sorry
3197458
No need for that crying face. Sometimes it feels good to cry.
Anyone feel like you are reading Tarzan?
John want food. John felt relief. John said. Etc...
Calm the fuck down, Flutterbitch. You've killed animals before, too
3197524 I know what you mean. Unfortunately, my habit of being direct doesn't make me the best writer. Plus my limited understanding of the English language makes it hard to know what words fit where.
I just hope people understand the story I am trying to tell.
First YES!
I was kind of wondering what happened to this story, until I saw the 'on Hiatus', anyways, good chapter, keep it up 
3553651 I was on hiatus due to both the editor and I being very busy with our lives, still on hiatus because I don't know when I can post the next chapter.
3554497 Hey no problem here, If you have a life that needs tending to you get to that, projects come after,