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Chapter 1: Ice2,437 words
Chapter 2: The same way you entered it1,093 words
Chapter 3: Jingle bells, go to hell1,135 words
Chapter 3.5: Humans of Equus175 words
Chapter 4: Come At Me Bro1,169 words
Chapter 5: F is for fire that burns down the whole town1,047 words
Chapter 6: Subtly1,141 words
Chapter 7: The only way to kill a terrorist1,819 words
Chapter 8: Hole Station1,292 words
Chapter 9: Father of the year1,032 words
Chapter 10: Kalamari1,081 words

Chapter 5: F is for fire that burns down the whole town

The humans were at an advantage, being stronger, faster, bigger and more agile than their assailants. On the other hand, hooves hurt like shit.

The ring leader of the stallions, a unicorn, charged towards Sasha with a battle cry. Sasha stepped to his left and kicked the stallion in the ribs as he passed by. He crumpled to the ground holding his cracked ribs, the other stallions took this as their cue to charge. Artyom grabbed the closest stallion by the front hooves and swung him around, he then used him as a battle axe, smashing him into a nearby stallion. Dmitry grabbed a stallion and flung him into a pillar, both the wooden pillar and the pony’s spine snapped in two. Rainbow held a stallion down as AJ bucked him in the stomach.

“Five down, four to go” said Dmitry as the four ponies prepared for a second charge.

Three of the four ponies barreled towards the humans. Artyom looked at his comrades and nodded, they knew what to do. Without a word the three humans all charged up a powerful kick and released it once their target was in range. The boots collided with the ponies’ jaws, shattering them like glass and causing their brain to ricochet in their skulls, knocking them out cold.

The last pony, the one that didn’t charge, was a unicorn and stood at the opposite end of the room. His horn started to glow as he charged up a beam of pure magical energy, with an obvious intent to kill. Sasha quickly turned towards the bar and grabbed a bottle of vodka, he the flung it at the pony. The beam was fully charged as the pony fired it. But, instead of colliding with the soft flesh of the human, it collided with a bottle of vodka inches from his face. The bottle shattered, sending glass shards into his face and the vodka ignited, setting him on fire.

“OH FUCK” Sasha yelled as the unicorn was engulfed in flames. “WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO”

The stallion collapsed on the ground screaming. The ponies and humans had no idea what to do, until RD had a brilliant Idea. She rushed over to the bar, grabbing a glass of clear liquid which what she assumed was water. She then rushed over to the stallion and dumped it on him.

“NO, DON’T USE THAT” The bartender screamed as the alcohol being dumped on the burning stallion only fueled the flames even more.

Artyom’s natural instincts as a leader kicked in.

“Rarity, levitate him outside. Rainbow Dash, prep a rain cloud” He ordered.

The ponies nodded and sprang into action. Rarity levitated the burning pony outside of the bar as Rainbow set a rain cloud just above him. She then proceeded to jump on it, causing the rain cloud do dump its load all over the stallion, extinguishing
the flames.

“What the fuck do we do now?” asked Dmitry, staring at the unconscious pony with third degree burns all over his body.

Rainbow was about to say something when a blinding light appeared infront of them. When the light finally faded both of the princesses were standing there.

“WHAT THE BUCK IS THIS?” screamed Celestia.

“Hi, Artyom” said Luna, waving a hoof at Artyom. Ignoring her sister, Celestia continued to speak.

“What have you done to my little ponies?! I should kill you!” Artyom looked into the sun goddesses’ eyes and saw no anger, but fear.

“Calm down, we don’t mean your kind any harm. We were simply protecting Applejack from a stallion that got a little to aggressive” said Artyom. Celestia looked to the element of honesty.

“Is this true”

“Eeyup” answered Applejack, sounding exactly like her brother. Celestia turned back to Artyom.

“Very well, I’m not entirely sure why you lit him on fire, but you did put him out, showing you didn’t want to kill him. Return to your home and stay there. After tonight I doubt anypony would be fond of you” Celestia turned to the burned stallion. “I will take him and the rest to the hospital. I will also question the others to piece together what exactly happened here” With that Celestia and the stallion teleported away, leaving the group and Luna behind.

“Hey, Artyom?” asked Luna.

“Yeah?”

“Can I come back to your place?”

Seven figures burst through the doors of the humans’ house, laughing. They were met by Twilight Sparkle balling her eyes out and Dima laughing his ass off, presumably at the fact Twilight was crying.

“What happened, Twi?” asked AJ.

“She got to the end of halo 4 and is so fucking depressed by the ending, oh god!” Dima said as he totally fucking lost it.

“In speaking of which” Luna trotted over to the xbox. “May I?”

Artyom nodded as Luna started to play.

“They should start mass producing these things... The fuck happened to you guys?” asked Dima, pointing to the cuts and scratches on his buddies’ faces.

“Oh, bar fight” answered Sasha.

“Did you win?”

“Obviously”

“How many?”

“Nine”

“How bad are their injuries?”

“Couple of broken bones, one broken spine, I set a dude on fire”

Dima burst out laughing. “You set a dude on fucking FIRE? Oh my god, and in a bar fight, is he dead?”

“No, but Celestia is royally pissed at us”

Artyom put a hand on Sasha’s shoulder as he shoved pass.

“Well, I’m going to bed, anybody else?”

The rest of the team shrugged and began climbing up the stairs, they could use some sleep. Artyom stuck his head around the corner of the staircase and stared at Luna.

“I’m going to bed, I trust you won’t break anything.”

Luna nodded.

“Great, because we set a pony on fire today, you do not want to see us when we’re pissed off” Artyom joked.

Luna giggled and wished him good night. Artyom crawled into bed and started to recall the events that had unfolded in the last two days. Thinking he was in a dream, Artyom punched himself in the face. He didn’t wake up. He smiled, he was okay with this being his reality. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

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