Oh no, it looks like I left my bio in my other pelt. Whoops! You're gonna have to do some exploring to learn about this Brony.
Hello everypony, this is a sequel to, My roommate is a Vampire. It is narrated by the sexy Vampire Vinyl Scratch, as she and the lovely Octavia come back in a brand new story. I would like to thank both the author for M.R.A.V. and for aboredbrony for reading it. That colt helped me quite alot considering I can't use anything but YouTube at my lovely little place I call home.
With that let us begin with our story...
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Holy Celestia good queen of Equestria huge wall of text!.....also you may wanna check the title of the prologue....when someone misspells one of the very first words that the reader will see it doesn't give off a very good vibe. Other than that i will slightly be watching this to see how it goes.
The Idea is fine, but the prolouge needs a huge amount more information like when in MRIAV;s timeline is this story set.
also, MY EYES from the massive wall of text.
This... will end badly. I predict multiple casualties.
Oh. My. I'm really sorry everypony I'll try to do better. See this is the first time I've done anything like this, and I can only do it on my phone. So I can't really fix the wall of text. Sorry.
The correct grammar is "Did we do anything last night" not "We do anything last night". This is a good hook for chapters to come, but Octavia is high class and would not speak the way you have presented her. Other than that, as I said, this is a good hook.
DJ-Pon-3 approved
1650960 It's quite allright, i completely understand, although, you can only do this from you phone? Can't you use the return key to make space?
...*cries eyes out* YOU HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO A GOOD STORY
I was really looking forward to reading this series of chapters
...All good things must come to an end I suppose...
DJ-Pon-3 (wipes away tear) Approved
Wait, so you didn't write the story?
The Actual Author Ended his version of the story, does that mean this cna be Revived?
3305600
Maybe?
The first fan fic I read was my roommate is a vampire
I haven't even read it, but I can already see what is wrong with this story. You aren't giving an overview of what the story is about, you're just saying stuff like thank yous and all that stuff. You can still do that, but that is generally put a little less front and center. Some people probably gave it a thumbs down just because of this factor.
please post the chapters
What the? I searched up "My Roommate is a Lycan" and I got no results!
I also searched on Dennis the Menace's profile (The author of MRiaV), and I only saw three stories, none of which were My Roommate is a Lycan.
Sooo....what happened?
I would agree with some others that there is something worth reading here; but I would implore the author to, if they are ever coming back to this again, hopefully reformate so that it isn't a giant wall of text. Although given the amount of time that has passed since the original posting of the story, that may already be the case. It's a shame cancellations on stories like this that actually have something kinda fun to read happen for any reason or another.