Chapter 1
Cocooned in her bubble of clouds, Fluttershy sobbed softly. it had been the worst day she had ever had. It was her eighteenth birthday, and still no Cutie Mark. Everypony else her age had gotten theirs years ago. Earlier that day, her father had sent her away, and his words still rang in her ears.
"You're an adult now, and you still don't have a Cutie Mark. When I was your age, I was already on the fast track to be the forepony of the cloud factory, and you still don't know what you want to do with your life. Well, I won't have a freeloader living in my house! Pack your things and go! And don't come back until you've got something to show for it."
And now Fluttershy was alone. Not a friend in the world, nowhere to live, nothing. Just a small bag with a few bits and a couple small items of sentimental value- a scrap of her favorite cloud, a battered Wonderbolts doll from her foalhood, and a small cheap wire necklace, a gift from her first and only coltfriend. So lost in her sorrow was the mare that she didn't notice the muffled noises coming from outside her cloud-nest until it was far too late to do anything.
*WHAM!*
The brown-grey Pegasus colt cannoned through the cloud wall and slammed with bone-jarring force into Fluttershy's side. The impact sent her flying out the other cloud wall, stunning her momentarily. By the time she recovered her wits, she was plummeting toward the ground. Instincts kicked in, and she spread her wings- she might not have been a particularly skilled flier, but she was certainly good enough to keep from falling to her death.
Or so she thought, right up until a red-hot lance of pain flared through her wing, right where the colt had impacted. Useless right now, maybe even broken.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
The scream for help was ineffective. Even if anypony had heard it, they would have been too far away to help.
The ground raced toward the plummeting pony, when suddenly, something amazing happened. A cloud of creatures, tiny creatures with lovely pink wings, too numerous to count, flowed up between her and the ground, somehow arresting her fall. For a moment, Fluttershy's sorrows faded. She was alive! She may have been in an unfamiliar landscape, full of strange creatures and formations, but she was alive! Besides, the ground was beautiful, and the young mare couldn't imagine such a wonderful place being truly dangerous, for it was nothing at all like her father had told her. The excitement of it was so overwhelming that she actually burst into a brief song, despair momentarily forgotten.
*KRA-BOOM!*
A halo of rainbow-colored light split the sky, with the accompanying groundshaking explosive noise, startling the mare and scaring away the animals surrounding her. Feeling almost as if she was a passenger in her own body, Fluttershy found herself searching them out and reassuring them, ignorant of the fact that this should not have worked. A warmth on her flanks and a flash of light caught her attention, and she turned to look. Her cutie mark! It had finally appeared!
***
Fluttershy huddled in woods, the shrubbery she was using as a makeshift blanket woefully inadequate to the task of protecting her from the rain. After her wing had healed (thank Celestia it wasn't broken) she'd made her way back to her father's house, only to be kicked out again with the admonition not to come back because "you're not a Pegasus, you're an Earth Pony with wings!"
With that, she was reduced to this. She hadn't the bits to obtain lodging, and had to make do with what shelter she could contrive in the woods. She couldn't go into the town, since she would surely be spotted and recognized as the freak her father had called her. Fortunately, grass and flowers were plentiful, and there was even an apple orchard nearby, though she had to make sure not to eat enough from any one spot to be noticeable. Her animal friends were her only source of comfort. She cared for them as best she could, and they, in turn, cared for her as best they could.
***
Macintosh was frustrated. His younger sister had recently returned from Manehattan with the realization that working on the family farm was what she truly wanted to do, and that had taken some of the load off, but she was still just a filly, and physically couldn't take up too many of the chores that he had had to perform alone. But this wasn't the source of his frustration. He was frustrated because somepony was stealing apples from the south field. Not too many-not enough to threaten the business-and not from the same trees, but enough that he knew they were going missing. The discovery of a hoofprint under one of the trees, a print too small for his own feet, and too large for anypony else that had any business in the fields, proved it. This was his day off, and Macintosh would get to the bottom of the mystery.
***
Hours later, Macintosh was wishing he was a Pegasus pony. He had found the apple thief without too much trouble, but she was not what he had expected. When he had found her, she had burst out in tears. Macintosh, being a kind-hearted pony, had asked for an explanation. Between sobs, she had told him the whole story. At the moment, there was nothing he wanted more than to fly up to the bigoted jerk who had somehow managed to produce one of the most gentle-hearted (not to mention beautiful) ponies he had ever met, and buck the idiot as hard as he could. But if wishes were apples, his family would be broke. It was time for some problem solving.
"Eeyup, Miss Fluttershy, this shore is a tough one. Hm. Oh, Ah know! Th' old cottage!"
Fluttershy looked at him questioningly, and Macintosh explained further
"There's an old cottage a bit of a walk from here. It's a bit run-down raht now, on account of it's not been used since Old Moonshine died, oh, eight years ago now, but Ah'm perty shore it's okay. And, if mem'ry serves, Ah think he had a garden- there maht still be somethin' there."
"Oh, that sounds lovely!...Or at least, better than this."
***
The cottage was not in great shape, but that was to be expected after having been left unattended for the better part of a decade. None of the furnishings were left, since while nopony had wanted to claim the cottage so close to the Everfree Forest, the furniture was a different matter, and anything that hadn't been taken had long ago succumbed to the elements. But there were good points. The walls seemed sound, the roof was largely intact, and the cellar that had once stored the former inhabitant's eponymous beverage was surprisingly warm. Macintosh sent a silent thanks to whichever of his ancestors had established Ponyville's incredibly strict building codes. Best of all, while the garden was overgrown with weeds and brambles, they were edible weeds and brambles. They weren't the tastiest things, but were far better than starving, and there were a few vegetable plants stubbornly clinging to life.
***
A few weeks later, Macintosh realized that he might possibly have a crush on the Pegasus he'd helped. He'd spent every moment he had free helping her get established in the cottage- loaning her some of the furniture his family had in storage, helping fix up the house, even aiding her in fighting through the arcane legalese of the paperwork needed to formally move in. But he'd been able to reason that away as just being neighborly, helping somepony who needed help. It wasn't until Granny Smith said something that it hit him.
"Bye, Granny! Ah'll be back this evenin'!"
"Heh. You young whippersnapper, thinkin' y'kin pull the wool over ol' Granny's eyes! Ah know where yer goin'! Y'gotcherself a fillyfriend- it's as plain as the nose on yer face."
Macintosh sputtered, thanking Celestia that his red coat meant his blush would be invisible, and denied the absurd idea.
"Hah! You think I'm blind, sonny? Yer spendin' all yer time out off doin' who-knows-what, and when y'come back, ye've got a big silly grin on yer face. Go on, git! Yer fillyfriend is waitin for you, 'less Ah miss mah guess. Ah won't tell anypony else as hasn't figgered it out. Jest don't get her with foal 'less yer gonna marry her!"
Macintosh fled, mortified. Fluttershy wasn't his fillyfriend! She was just a friend. Who was a beautiful young mare the same age he was. And the sweetest pony he'd ever met. And just the sight of her lifted his spirits. And, now that he was thinking along those lines, when he experimentally thought of her with somepony else- say, Caramel- a combination of anger and jealousy surged.
Well, horseapples.
***
Fluttershy couldn't believe how her luck had turned around in the past few weeks. She'd gone from having nothing and getting by eating grass and stealing apples to survive to living somewhat comfortably. It wasn't an easy life- she worked hard every day, fixing her cottage (her own cottage! She had the paperwork and everything!) and beating it into a semblance of a home, but she felt more fulfilled than she'd ever been in Cloudsdale. She'd even braved going into town herself a couple of times, to get supplies and deal with paperwork for the cottage, and hadn't been mocked, insulted or anything!
But, she had to admit, Macintosh had been the biggest shock, and the most welcome. All her life, her father had drilled into her that only the skies, and those who lived in it, were pure. That those restricted to living in two dimensions were crude, uncultured, only fit to grow food for the races that knew the true freedom of the air. Her father would proudly declare that he himself had never touched the ground, and never would. And yet here was this Earth Pony, showing far more kindness for a total stranger than her own father had ever shown her. He'd appeared like a knight in some tale, rescuing the maiden from her dismal fate and whisking her into a better life.
Fluttershy chided herself at the thought. He'd hardly whisked her into nobility and riches. What he had done was help her, through his own hard work and intelligence, find a place where she could make her own place in the world. Just because he was handsome, and gentle, and kind, and nice to talk to, and understanding, didn't make him some brave rescuer from a fantasy story. Besides, he was probably just being helpful. A big, handsome stallion like that probably had all sorts of romantic options- he couldn't possibly be interested in plain old Fluttershy.
Ponyfeathers.
***
"Well, Fluttershy, Ah gotta be headin' home."
"Oh, um, alright. And, uh, thank you. For all your help, I mean. I really appreciate it. Um, do you, I mean, when will you be back? I mean, if you are coming back?"
"Course Ah'm comin' back. We still got a chunk a'work ta do, afterall. Ah should be free 'round noon this Wednesday," an idea struck Macintosh, "'n Ah can bring a nahce lunch- we can have ourselves a picnic 'fore we get ta work."
"Oh, that sounds lovely!"
"Eeyup. Well, until Wednesday, then!"
As Macintosh turned to leave, a sudden impulse seized Fluttershy.
"Wait, Macintosh!"
"Hm-mmph?!"
As the stallion was turning, Fluttershy darted forward, blushing furiously, intending to kiss her crush on the cheek. She missed. Lips touched. Macintosh's eyes shot open, and he stood stunned as Fluttershy backpedaled furiously, words tumbling out in a rush.
"OhmygoodnessI'msosorryImeanttokissyourcheekIdon'tknowwhatcameovermepleasedon'thateme!"
As she continued to apologize, the Earth pony slowly raised a hoof to his lips, as if checking to make sure they were still there. He looked at the Pegasus, who was by this point trying to make herself small enough to be invisible, still apologizing without taking a breath.
"Fluttershy, wait."
She cut off midsentence. Oh, no. He hates me now.
"Ya don't need ta apologize fer kissin' me. Y'meant t'do it on th'cheek, an' ya missed. Simple as that."
Oh, thank goodness. But Macintosh wasn't finished.
"Ah'm not gonna lie an' say Ah haven't thought 'bout kissin' you m'self a time'r two, but yer, well, Ah mean, yer... What Ah mean ta say is yer awful pretty, an' jest about th' nicest girl Ah ever met. Ah'll treasure that kiss ferever, but we both know y'kin do better'n some farmboy. Ah mean...Aw, shucks, Ah'm screwin' this up, ain't Ah? Ah don' want ta wreck our friendship. Jest ferget Ah said anything."
Fluttershy stared in shock. Had he just said that he had wanted to kiss her? Boring old Fluttershy? Before the doubts could coalesce into her typical timidity, she leaned in and kissed the stallion again. Properly, this time.
If the previous, accidental kiss had been invigorating, this one was electrifying. It felt right, like they were made for each other.
***
Fluttershy smiled in her sleep. She knew it was time to get up, but she had been having such a wonderful dream. She happily snuggled up against her pillow, resolving that she would savor the feeling just a moment more before facing the day.
Wait. Her pillow wasn't that solid. And it felt wrong. Could it be?
Not daring to hope, Fluttershy opened her eyes and looked up. A pair of emerald eyes met hers, and a smile split her face.
"Mornin', Fluttershy"
"Good morning, Macintosh," the Pegasus blushed, "I'm sorry for keeping you overnight. I hope you don't get in trouble or anything for that."
The Earth pony kissed her gently on the forehead before reassuring her.
"Nope. Granny kin take care a' Applejack jest fine without mah help. Long as Ah get mah chores done, it should be fine." He stroked her mane before continuing with a grin, "Besides, even if Ah do get inta a heap o'trouble, Ah spent the time with you, so it'd be worth it."
"R-really? You really think so?"
"Eeyup."
"Oh, um...thank you. Um...I need to get up now- the animals need feeding. I mean, if that's alright with you?" the sentence was punctuated by her stomach rumbling. Macintosh grinned.
"An' it sounds like you need feedin' too, love. Tell ya what, Ah'll make breakfast fer th' both of us."
"That sounds lovely!"
***
Macintosh made his way back to Sweet Apple Acres, a spring in his step. Last night had been just perfect, and this morning had been more of the same. Nothing could ruin today!
"Howdy, son! Where ya been?" cried the older stallion with a sandy blond coat and red mane.
"Hi, pa." Okay, almost nothing. Just play it cool, and nopony will make a big deal.
"Is that all Ah get? 'Hi, pa?' Ah tell ya, kids these days! Hah! Don’t'cha worry none, kiddo, Ah was young once too, ya know!" At this, the older stallion lowered his voice and whispered conspiratorially to his son, "So, is she cute?"
Macintosh was dumbstruck. Was it that obvious?
"Ah'm jest joshin' ya, boy! What ya do on yer own time is yer own business, 'long as ya don' break any laws or hearts. Anyway, yer ma and Ah jest got back from our trip, an' we got some big news! We didn't tell anypony yet- we wanted ta tell everypony at the same time. Meantime, lemme tell ya 'bout the Buffalo Plains!"
As his father chattered away about the trip as they made their way back to the house, Macintosh breathed a sigh of relief. He'd had no idea his parents were coming home, but judging by his father's reaction, it wasn't a big deal. He just wondered what could be such a big deal that they would cut their trip short and come home three months early.
***
"Now Ah'm sure yer all wonderin' why Ginger an' Ah cut our trip short t'come back home ta Ponyville an' Sweet Apple Acres. What y'all don't get is how beautiful th' Buffalo Plains are- the sunsets, the wide open spaces, the-"
"Jonathan, please. You're rambling again," said the light green mare with the sky-blue mane seated next to him.
"Ah am? Sorry 'bout that, dear."
"Quite alright, love," the mare turned to the other three assembled family members, "anyway, what he's trying to say is that I'm pregnant."
***
The pronouncement was greeted with dead silence, which was broken by Applejack.
"Ya mean Ah'm gonna be a big sister?"
"Exactly, little one," Ginger Gold ruffled her daughter's mane affectionately, "in about nine months."
"Oh. That's a long time." The filly looked dejected, as if she had been expecting a new sibling tomorrow. "And Ah am not a little one anymore! Ah am a big pony now! Ah even got mah Cutie Mark!"
"So I see. My apologies." It was at this point that Jonathan cut in.
"Ah, maybe we kin continue this talk this evenin'? I know everypony's got plenty a' chores ta do, and we don't wanna waste daylight!"
***
Macintosh was halfway through the area he needed to harvest for the day when his father showed up.
"Hey, there, son! Need any help?"
"Nope."
"Oh. Well, ya mind if Ah help anyway?"
"Nope."
"Alright, then!"
The next few minutes were consumed by the steady Thunk-thudthudthud of hooves striking trees and apples raining into buckets.
"So Granny says ya been gone more often these past few weeks."
"Eeyup."
"An' last night ya weren't home."
"Eeyup."
"So...what've ya been doin'? Ah promise Ah won't get mad. It's jest...Granny worries about ya, son. Ah worry. Ya hear 'bout these drugs 'n things that kin wreck a pony's life, an' Ah don't wanna see ya livin' under a bridge or anythin'."
"Nope"
"Then what? Ah promise, Ah jest don' wanna see ya get hurt."
By this point, Macintosh's face would have been solid red even if it wasn't normally. "There's a mare."
"Huh? Ah didn't catch that."
"There's a mare, alraht? Ah know. 'Mac's got a fillyfriend' an' all that. Now yer gonna make fun an' tease me 'bout it. Fahn, go 'head!"
Jonathan was shocked, as much by the length of the outburst from his normally laconic son as the intensity, but he recovered quickly.
"Wait, really? Ya seriously got yerself a mare? That's great! Ah knew one a' them gals'd get through ta ya eventually!"
"Yer...yer not teasin' me?"
"Well, shucks, son, Ah'm yer pa! Of course Ah'm gonna give ya a hard tahm 'bout it later, but Ah'm happy for ya!"
A slightly faroff look came to Macintosh's eyes, "Eeyup. She's perfect. Sweet, gentle, gorgeous... Ah know Ah haven't known her fer long, but Ah really think she's the one."
"Really? Ya think so? What's this perfect mare's name, then?"
"Fluttershy."
***
"So Ah found out what's got Mac so busy lately."
"Oh?" Ginger Gold looked up at her husband entering the room.
"Eeyup! He found hisself a fillyfriend! Heh. Seems he fell purty hard for 'er too. Sayin' how he thinks she's the one an' all that."
"Really!" The green mare's eyes widened, " I thought he'd never notice their advances. So who was it? That young clerk that's been making eyes at him since they were in school?"
"Nope! She's some new pony in town, name o' Fluttershy. Seems she was in somethin' of a heap o' trouble, an' he helped 'er out an' now they're datin'!"
"Really? Hm. Perhaps I should meet with this filly- Fluttershy, did you say?- and get to know her."
"Hon, ya read mah mind. Ah already told Mac ta invite her over fer dinner Sunday."
***
Fluttershy was in a quandary. As was a habit she had developed, she was discussing the problem with the animals she was caring for.
"I just don't know what to do, Neighpoleon. I love him. I know he's the one. But I don't want to be too clingy. That drives colts away. And I don't know if I can do the things they like." Half-remembered pieces of conversation she'd overheard were definite on the topic.
The rabbit she was addressing fixed her with a stare, as if to say he didn't care, and give him the carrot already. Fluttershy complied, preoccupied with her worrying.
"I know, I know. If he's the one, he won't think it's a problem, but still."
Neighpoleon shrugged and rolled his eyes before continuing to eat. Fluttershy sighed. Maybe she would come up with something.
***
"Howdy, Fluttershy!"
The Pegasus turned toward her coltfriend. Alright, Fluttershy, this is it.
Putting on her best 'seductive' voice, she replied,"Oh, Macintosh, I'm so happy to see you."
Macintosh blinked. What? But before he could formulate a reply, the yellow mare was sidling up to him, pressing into him in some very pleasingly distracting ways.
"Come on inside, love. I realized I never rewarded you properly for helping me." Her tone of voice left absolutely no doubt as to what she had in mind.
With a supreme effort of will, Macintosh pulled away, "Fluttershy, stop. Please. This ain't you." Fluttershy pulled back in confusion, and the stallion continued, "Ya don't need ta put on an act fer me like that. Ah fell in love with you fer you."
"Oh. Um..." By this point, the mare was blushing so hard her face looked orange. "Sorry?" she squeaked out.
"Don't worry none. Ah'm jest wonderin' why ya thought ya had ta act like that?"
"Is...isn't that what colts like?"
Macintosh chuckled, "Nope. Well, Ah guess some colts do, th' young, dumb ones especially. But Ah prefer ya just the way ya are." He gently kissed her forehead. "Now, today is gonna be the best weather of the year, an' Ah brought us a lovely picnic lunch. How 'bout we head over ta that meadow we found an' eat?"
***
The next day, Fluttershy slunk quietly into town. She needed to buy more food and supplies for her animal friends, and that meant she needed to find a job to get the bits. Fortunately, she and Macintosh had finally managed to get the cottage fully fixed up, so now she had time to do so.
"Okay, Fluttershy. You can do this. Just go in, find something, and get out," the timid Pegasus murmured to herself.
A few hours later, she was just about ready to admit defeat. Every job opening she had seen was for something completely unsuitable. The bakery assistant spot required somepony much more outgoing than she was, her flight skills were nowhere near good enough for the weather service, and the stockpony position at Blacksmithing and Weight Training Supplies required somepony with far more muscle. She was passing by town hall, just about to give up and head home when she heard somepony yelling. Before she could react, the door slammed open, and a tough-looking orange Unicorn stormed out, turning and yelling into the building.
"You can't fire me! I quit! This stupid town is way too close to the Everfree Forest! I almost got my tail bitten off by a blasted Manticore last time I tried doing the frog census! Find yourself another wildlife manager!" With that, the Unicorn stomped away, heading toward the road to Canterlot.
Fluttershy blinked, shocked at the outburst. From what she'd seen, Ponyville was normally such a quiet town. The other townsfolk that had gathered out of curiosity started dispersing, with nothing more to interest them. Fluttershy did not leave with them.
"Wildlife manager? I wonder what that is?"
Slowly, tentatively, the yellow pony made her way into the town hall, where she saw a beige-colored mare with a grey mane scrambling to pick up papers- presumably sent flying by the unicorn before his exit- and muttering under her breath.
"Lousy no-good...idiot...be more careful...rabbit census..."
Fluttershy quietly cleared her throat, "Um, excuse me?" she asked in a very small voice
With a start, the other mare looked up, "Oh, I'm very sorry. What can I do for you, Miss...?"
"Oh, um, Fluttershy. Just Fluttershy." She was already starting to regret coming in, but she needed the bits.
"Fluttershy? Hm- Oh! Yes, you're the one that moved into the old cottage! How nice to meet you. I'm Grey Mare, the mayor's secretary and head clerk. How has living in Ponyville been for you?"
"It's...nice?"
"Good, good," the clerk finished putting the papers back in order, "was there something you needed? The mayor took the week off, but I can help you if you need anything."
"Oh, um, well, I, um, I was wondering about, um, the wildlife management job. I mean, I grew up in Cloudsdale, and, well..."
"I understand. Not much wildlife up there, is there? Down on the ground, we need to keep track of the animals, make sure they're not getting any diseases, that they're getting enough to eat and not getting into things they shouldn't, that sort of thing. It's not an easy job, especially here in Ponyville- the Everfree forest makes it much harder to keep track of everything."
"Oh my. Um. Can I...can I apply for the job?"
This took the clerk by surprise. She studied Fluttershy intently for a moment, before appearing to come to a decision.
"Ordinarily, I'd say no, but we need a wildlife manager fast. The annual rabbit census is coming up, and we need it done by the end of the month. So I'll make you a deal. I'll make you the provisional wildlife manager for now. If you can get the census done, and done well, by then, and you still want it, you can have it."
***
Fluttershy anxiously made her way to Sweet Apple Acres, worrying the whole way. She had spent three indecisive hours preparing for dinner with her beloved's family, but in the end, had opted for simplicity. After all, Macintosh had said his family wasn't the sort that was interested in fanciness. She would just have to hope it was enough. As she approached the house, however, her worries began to surface. What if they didn't like her? What if the fact that she was a Pegasus drove them away? Or what if she said something wrong? Or did something wrong? Just as panic threatened to overwhelm her, a calming voice cut through.
"Fluttershy! Ya made it!"
Macintosh was hailing her, his calm presence reassuring. He thought the world of his family, so they couldn't be that bad. She trotted up to the house, her steps lighter than they had been just seconds ago, and exchanged a quick kiss with him.
"Everypony, this is Fluttershy, mah fillyfriend. Fluttershy, this is mah family. Granny Smith, Ma, Pa, an' mah little sis Applejack."
Warm smiles greeted her, and Fluttershy felt...welcome.
***
After a delicious meal of apple-based foods (Fluttershy hadn't even known it was possible to make apple soup before), the conversation really got started. The first topic was, naturally, Fluttershy herself.
"So, Fluttershy. Ya recently moved ta Ponyville? Why is that?" Jonathan asked, oblivious to or ignorant of his son's attempts at silent warnings.
"My parents kicked me out." she squeaked out, looking down at the table.
"I'm sorry, dear? I didn't quite catch that?" Ginger chimed in.
"My...my father kicked me out. He...he's an Empyreanist. He said I'm... Please, can we talk about something else?" The Pegasus was almost in tears at the memory.
"Oh? Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bring up a painful topic! It must have been terrible!" The older mare moved to comfort her, while silently resolving to extract the full story from her son later.
"Y-yes. But-" Fluttershy paused for a moment, and with a visible effort of will, composed herself, "Macintosh has been such a big help. If he hadn't shown up when he did, I don't know how I could have managed."
"I see. And what have you been doing since then?"
"Mostly repairs on the cottage and taking care of the animals. I'm also the provisional wildlife manager for Ponyville, which is wonderful!"
***
Fluttershy entered the town hall nervously. She had her census report ready in her saddlebag, and had committed the main points to memory, but she was still nervous, even beyond the worry that tinted thoughts of speaking with almost anypony. She was pretty sure she had completed it properly, but she was also pretty sure Grey Mare had said it would be difficult.
"May I help you?"
"EEEP!"
"Um. Miss? Miss, are you alright?"
Fluttershy peeked up from between her hooves to see a pair of blue eyes regarding her with concern. "Um...yes. Um...I'm sorry. You startled me." She pawed the floor nervously.
Grey Mare answered quickly, "I'm terribly sorry about that. So, Fluttershy, how may I help you? Did you have any questions about the job?"
"Um, yes, I mean no! I mean, um, I think I finished the rabbit census. I just, um, I wanted to make sure I did it right. It seemed...too easy."
"Too easy? Really? Well, let me see what you have."
Fluttershy opened her saddlebag and pulled out the census- a stack of over a hundred sheets of paper. The total population of rabbits in the vicinity of Ponyville, broken down by age, gender, reproductive status, and location, all written out in Fluttershy's neat, precise script. Grey mare's eyes widened.
"...Oh. That looks...remarkably thorough. You understand I'll have to read through it, but it certainly looks to me like you'll get to drop the 'provisional' part of the title. Congratulations!"
***
Fluttershy had just left town hall and was beginning to head home when she heard somepony calling her name. Turning to look, she saw Ginger Gold waving to her.
"Oh, hello, Mrs. Gold. I, um, I didn't expect to see you today."
"Please, dear, call me Ginger. I just had the most irresistible craving for strawberry pie." She sighed, then smiled, "It comes from growing up in Manehattan, I suppose. You can take the girl out of the city... Come, walk with me, we'll have lunch. My treat."
As Fluttershy fell in step with her coltfriend's mother, her mind was racing. Was Ginger angry at her? What did she want to talk about?
The silence wasn't broken until they were at Sugarcube corner.
"Have you eaten here before? It's delightful- they have the most delectable strawberry pie I've ever tasted. Apparently it's a family recipe."
Fluttershy nodded mutely in reply. Ginger continued on, seemingly oblivious.
"Ponyville really is lovely, you know? I know it was a shock when I first visited. I had just graduated, and I wanted to see Equestria. Trottingham, Prance, Stalliongrad...I wasn't even supposed to be in Ponyville, but there was some kind of problem with the rail line on the way to Canterlot, and we had to divert to Ponyville." She sighed, a faroff look in her eyes, before continuing, "That was where I met Jonathan, you know. We ran into each other. Literally. He offered to take me to dinner, as an apology. We stayed in contact with each other throughout my trip, and, well, one thing led to another, and he proposed. My parents weren't happy at first- they were hoping I would stay in Manehattan, be a high-society socialite like my brother. But, they still loved me, and we managed to work things out in the end. Ah, the pie is here!"
***
Fluttershy had to admit that it was delicious pie. She was halfway through when Ginger broke the silence again.
"So, Fluttershy, I understand you're from Cloudsdale? What was that like?"
"Oh, well, it was, um, bright. I mean, all the buildings and roads and things are made of clouds, and it's closer to the sun, and most buildings don't have roofs. And everything is white and blue. I like being down here much more- there's much more color. And ponies are nicer down on the ground too. I never met anypony like you, or Macintosh, or anypony like that there."
"Does this have anything to do with your father being, what was it, an Imperianist?"
Fluttershy blushed, and tried to sink down into her seat. "Did I really say that? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I just- I don't like talking about it."
"I understand, dear, really, I do. It's hard to talk about. But right now, I imagine that it's bottled up inside. If you just let it sit and fester, it will turn sour. Turn poisonous. It's not healthy to just suppress everything. I just want you to know that if you ever need somepony to talk to, I'm here."
Fluttershy lapsed into silence for a moment, focusing on finishing her pie. Finally, she came to a decision.
"I...I don't think my father was a very nice pony. He didn't like the ground. He always said it's impure, and used to brag that he had never set hoof on it," Fluttershy looked down, shamefaced.
"That's what being an Empyreanist is. They think the sky is pure and clean, and the ground is corrupt. That's what he and his friends would always say, anyway," The yellow mare inhaled deeply before continuing in a quavery voice.
"That's why he kicked me out the second time. Because my special talent is working with animals. Most animals live on the ground. When I told him, he...he kicked me out. He said I wasn't...that I'm not a real Pegasus. That I didn't deserve to live with him."
By this point, Fluttershy was crying softly. Ginger wrapped her hooves around the yellow mare in a maternal embrace, patting her gently.
"It's alright, dear. It's alright. It's not your fault. You're a wonderful pony, and anypony who says otherwise is wrong."
"Y-you mean it?"
"Absolutely. I know I haven't known you for very long, but I can already see that you are a kind and gentle soul. Anypony that talks to you for more than five minutes could tell you that much. If anything, it's your father who doesn't deserve you, not the other way around."
Fluttershy sniffled, "Y-you mean it?"
"Absolutely. I just have one question."
Fluttershy looked up at Ginger worriedly, "Y-yes?"
"You said he kicked you out a second time? What was the first?"
Fluttershy's face fell, "It was- it was my eighteenth birthday when it happened. I still didn't have my Cutie Mark. He was angry at me for that. He told me not to come back until I had gotten it. I'd tried everything! Weather patrol, cloudsculpting, stormscaping, even rainbow making and cloudberry farming. And then..."
"I understand. It wasn't until you were on the ground that you could discover your special talent, and then you get kicked out for what your special talent is, right?"
Fluttershy nodded mutely.
"None of us can help the way we're made, dear. All we can do is the best we can with what we have. And it sounds to me like you're doing very well indeed. Keep it up."
"Thank you, Mrs. Gold- I mean Ginger. And thank you for the pie. It was lovely."
"It was a pleasure to speak with you as well, Fluttershy. I know Jonathan means well, but just between us, he's not always the most delicate of ponies."
***
A few days later, Fluttershy was snuggled up next to Macintosh in a meadow, engaged in a highly enjoyable kissing session, with the remains of their picnic lunch around them. By this point, they were seeing each other every day, with one of them coming to see the other. But today, Fluttershy had something special in mind. She'd come to a decision. She broke away from her coltfriend, and met his emerald eyes with her own.
"Macintosh?"
"Eyup?"
"I...um...I want to go further. I mean, um, if that's alright with you."
"Further?" Macintosh blinked in surprise.
"Yes. Um. I mean, when ponies love each other, they, um... And I love you, and, um, I think..." The mare trailed off, but her expression made it clear what she was referring to.
Inside, Macintosh was jumping and squealing for joy like a schoolfilly, but he managed to restrain himself. "Yer...yer sure about this? Ah don't wanna pressure you inta doin' anything ya don't wanna do, an'..." He trailed off, and looked down for a moment before meeting her gaze, "Ah jest...Ah mean... Ah don't wanna hurt you. Ah don't want ya ta do anything you'll regret."
"No, um, I mean...I'm sure. I want this. If I don't do this, I think I'll regret it more."
"Well, uh...if yer sure. Jest...if ya want me ta stop, jest tell me an' Ah'll stop."
"Just...please, be gentle. It's my first time."
"First time fer both of us. An' Ah wanna do this right." With that, the crimson stallion pulled his fillyfriend into a searing kiss.
***
Later, the exhausted and happy couple were snuggled closely together, basking in the afterglow. The words came unbidden to Macintosh's lips, but as soon as they left, he knew, beyond any shadow of doubt, that they were the right ones.
"Will you marry me, Fluttershy?"
"Oh! Oh my goodness! Oh, yes, Macintosh, absolutely!"
***
Macintosh didn't walk back to the farm that evening. He bounced, a grin threatening to split his face. I'm engaged! To get married! To Fluttershy! I proposed to her and she said yes! She's beautiful, and she's kind, and she's loving and gentle and sweet and she's mine! Yesyesyesyesyes!
It wasn't until he actually entered the house that some of the euphoria evaporated, replaced by nerves. How to tell his family? Well, simplest was always best, he decided as the family sat down to eat.
"So, son, how was yer day?"
Macintosh decided that was the best opening he would get. "Ah proposed ta Fluttershy. She said yes!" An earsplitting grin accompanied this last sentence.
Silence, dead silence greeted the pronouncement. Jonathan was the first to speak up.
"Really? That's wonderful, son!" He got up from the table. "Now come with me. We gotta talk. Stallion stuff."
That sounded ominous. But he didn't have any other choice, bar perhaps running away. A brief fantasy of eloping with Fluttershy, running off to Dodge Junction or someplace, flitted through his head, but he dismissed it and followed his father outside.
Once they were well away from the house, and any prying ears, Jonathan turned to look at his son.
"Do ya really wanna marry her? Ah mean really, really, from th' bottom a'yer heart an' soul wanna spend the rest o' yer days with her? Yer not jest sayin' it 'cause she's pretty?"
"Eyup." He didn't even need to think about the answer.
"An' yer not jest sayin' it 'cause the two o' you had...well, ya know...an' ya feel guilty?" The older stallion colored at this. Macintosh was himself glad that his coat hid his blush quite effectively.
"Nope."
"Ah...ya mean ya didn't...ya know...or ya don't feel guilty?"
Macintosh fixed his father with a flat look.
"Right. Well. Ah guess as long as th' two'o you are sure."
"Eyup." Macintosh had never been more sure of anything in his life.
"Alright, then. Ah dunno about you, son, but Ah'm starvin'! Come on, let's go back inside. Ah'm sure the womenfolk'll wanna hear all about it!"
***
"Macintosh Steven Apple! Do you mean to tell me that you proposed to your fillyfriend without any jewelry?"
"Uh...Eyup?"
Ginger "tisk"ed at him in disappointment. "Well, that just won't do. Not at all. I'll be right back. Stay there and don't move."
A few minutes later, she was back, bearing a small box, which she set on the table.
"These are the earrings my father gave my mother. I think they'll look very good on Fluttershy. Go on, open it."
Macintosh did so, and his breath caught. They were perfect. Golden flowers, with a tiny pink ruby in the center of each, and an aquamarine teardrop below that perfectly matched the color of Fluttershy's eyes. He looked up at his mother in thanks, and saw an odd look on her face.
"Fluttershy is a wonderful young mare, and you both deserve the utmost happiness. Tomorrow, you go over there and you propose to her properly."
***
Macintosh had never really given much thought to what a wedding entailed. It turned out that a romantic proposal was just the first step. Invitations, flower and decoration arrangements, appropriate attire, food, and a dozen other things that he was assured were essential. Fortunately, this was to be a small wedding, which apparently simplified things immensely. Even more fortunately, his mother had volunteered for the position of wedding planner, explaining that she needed something to do to keep from being driven crazy by inactivity. However, there were still things that he and Fluttershy needed to do themselves. Most of these were relatively simple- picking out clothing, choosing a theme for the decorations, and the like. Others...were less simple.
***
“Mornin’, Miss Mare!”
The beige mare looked up from her paperwork, a brilliant smile on her face, “Oh, good morning, Macintosh! How are you on this wonderful day?”
“We’re doin’ well, thank ya. An’ you?”
At this point, Grey Mare noticed that Macintosh wasn’t alone. “Oh, I’m quite well. And Fluttershy! How are you doing? Settling into the job alright?”
“Oh, um, yes.”
“So what can I do for you today?”
“Well, Fluttershy an’ Ah are gettin’ married, an’ we wanted ta get the paperwork an’ whatnot done.” Macintosh replied, beaming. Neither pony noticed the clerk’s smile going brittle, nor the way her tone chilled.
“Married? I see. Hm.” She opened a drawer and started rummaging through the contents before emerging with a sheaf of papers. “Well, you’ll need to fill out these forms, and when you’re done with that, I’ll need you both to put your hooves on this paper to ensure you aren’t under some kind of magical compulsion. And, of course, there’s the licensing fee. 45 bits.”
Once the paperwork was taken care of, and the happy couple was on their way, Grey Mare stared off into the distance. “Macintosh and... Fluttershy? I did not see that coming.” She sighed, a faroff look in her eyes for a moment as she contemplated what might have been, before shaking her head and returning to the endless stacks of paperwork with a vengeance.
***
For some reason Macintosh didn’t entirely grasp, it was apparently essential that all the wedding invitations be written by the same pony. And, because of his execrable mouthwriting, the task fell to Fluttershy. That didn’t stop him from looking over the list of ponies to invite, and otherwise trying to help her in any way he could.
“Ya really want ta invite yer pa? If ya don’t, Ah’ll back ya up on it.”
Fluttershy looked at him with determination. “I’m not sure I want to, but... I think I have to. At least send the invitation. He is family.”
Macintosh nodded, understanding. Family was important. He put a hoof protectively around his fiancée, “Ah understand. But if he tries ta wreck the wedding, Ah’ll buck his flank all the way back ta Cloudsdale.”
***
Unknown to the young couple, that particular invitation would go undelivered, due to a mishap involving the mailmare's coltfriend, a black hole, and an incomprehensible horror from beyond reality, but that’s a story for another time.
***
Fluttershy smiled nervously at Grey Mare as she finished her request.
"-So, um, I was hoping that, um, I could have that week off. For my honeymoon. If it's not too much trouble, I mean." She looked down, scuffing at the floor with a hoof.
The clerk sighed before replying apologetically.
"I'm sorry, Fluttershy, I really am. You've been doing a spectacular job, but you haven't been working long enough to get vacation time. It's not my decision, it's in the rules. After six months, you'll be entitled to two weeks' vacation time, but until then, we can't give you any."
"Oh." Fluttershy's ears flattened, and she sagged. "I understand. I'm sorry to bother you. I'll...I'll just go."
***
Macintosh hugged his softly-crying fiancée as she told him how she couldn't get the time off work for their honeymoon.
"It's alraht, love. Ah understand. We kin go ta Prance next year. You'll have two weeks off then, raht? So we kin stay longer. If ya want, Ah mean."
"R-really? You don't mind?" She sniffed and looked up at him, a weak smile on her face.
"Fluttershy, as long as Ah'm with ya, Ah'm happy. We don't need ta have a fancy honeymoon ta enjoy bein' married. 'Sides, we'll have the long weekend all ta ourselves." At this, he ran his hooves down her sides, provoking a shiver of delight. "We could even head ta Canterlot fer the weekend. Get a hotel room, see th' big city, that kinda thing." He trailed a line of kisses along her muzzle and down her neck.
The young couple melted into each other, and nothing more of consequence was said that evening.
***
It was the day before the wedding, and Macintosh was just finishing some last-minute preparations when he noticed another pony coming along the path to the house. A yellow stallion with brown mane, nearly as large as Macintosh himself.
"Macintosh! Good to see you!"
"Howdy, Caramel," Macintosh sighed, "What're ya here for?" Caramel was the closest male friend Macintosh had, but that wasn't saying much. He was loud and somewhat obnoxious, but he was a hard worker, and had worked as a farmhoof when Sweet Apple Acres needed help.
"Well, Mac, I thought to myself that today was your last day of freedom being single, and me and the guys decided you needed one last shot at what you'll be missing! Come on! We're gonna have such a great night, they'll hear us in Tartarus! No arguing- you don't get to be whipped until you're hitched!"
Macintosh gulped. He'd really hoped Caramel wouldn't come up with this idea. Well, how bad could it be? It wasn't like Ponyville was a big city like Manehattan or (Celestia forbid) New Horseleans.
***
"No, Caramel."
"What? Oh, come on! We already chipped in to pay for her! You gotta! Right, guys?"
Lucky, Breezy, and Snowflake all nodded assent.
"Ah don't care. Ah went bar-crawlin' with ya-"
"It doesn't count when there are only two bars in Ponyville, and they're on opposite sides of town!"
"-an' Ah put up with yer draggin' me in here even after Ah realized th' kinda place it is, but Ah'm drawin' the line. Ah ain't cheatin' on Fluttershy. No way, no how."
"It's just a private dance! That doesn't count as cheating, it's just...another kind of looking!"
"Nope. It counts ta me."
Caramel facehoofed. "Come on, Mac! I promise you'll enjoy it! Minty's the best girl here!"
"You'd know better'n me 'bout that kinda thing, Caramel. But it's gettin' late, an' Ah wanna be rested up fer th' honeymoon. G'night." With that, Macintosh turned and left, heading back to Sweet Apple Acres.
The relative silence was broken by Lucky.
"So...we still paid for a private show, right?" Caramel facehoofed once more.
***
The wedding itself flew past in a blur, and Macintosh was never able to remember all of it. Other parts however, the most important parts, were seared into his brain, unforgettable. Fluttershy, looking radiant in her wedding dress. Promising that they would love each other forever. The final vows of "I do." The kiss, sealing the marriage magically as well as legally. Dancing with Fluttershy to the sounds of 'Love is in Bloom.'
***
Fluttershy sighed dreamily. The wedding had been everything she'd ever hoped for. Her father hadn't attended, hadn't even sent a response to the invitation, but she had decided that that didn't matter. Her new family had been there, accepting, loving, and supporting, almost overwhelmingly so. It didn't seem to matter that she was a Pegasus. And now, here she was, enjoying a romantic getaway to Canterlot with her new husband. She wondered how she had been so lucky, before dismissing the thought. She'd mentioned it to Macintosh earlier, and he'd responded that he was the lucky one. Instead...
"Oh, look! They're giving tours of the gardens today! Do you want to go?"
"Eeyup."
***
Macintosh paced nervously through the cottage. Fluttershy hadn't been feeling well this morning, and had gone to the hospital to make sure it wasn't anything serious. She'd tried to reassure him that it was probably nothing, but that hadn't helped. He'd rushed through his duties at the orchard and hurried home to see if she had returned yet, but no such luck. He resolved to wait another five minutes before heading to the hospital himself to make sure she was okay.
Just before the five minutes were up, he spotted his beloved coming up the path to the cottage, a strange look on her face. He hurried out to greet her.
"Fluttershy! Are ya alright? What'd th' doctor say? Are ya sick?"
"Oh, no, nothing like that, no." She paused, looking at him with those gorgeous turquoise eyes, and continued, "I'm, um, pregnant."
Macintosh felt his brain lock up for a moment. Pregnant? Fluttershy? But that meant... And they'd...
A smile spread across the Earth pony's face, and he pulled his wife into a hug.
"Ah'm gonna be a pa!"
***
The next ten months were a whirlwind of activity. Macintosh added a new wing to the cottage for the upcoming foal (albeit helped by friends and family on this), helped his wife with her duties as wildlife manager as much as he was able, helped his parents redecorate his old room for their upcoming foal, and still somehow managed to find the time to keep up with his work in the apple orchards. When his mother did give birth- to an adorable filly his parents named Applebloom- it further complicated things. Apparently, there had been some unforeseen complications, though she had somehow managed to piggyback her own care onto her daughter-in-law's coverage to avert what could have been a crisis. But the arrival of a newborn, needy foal nevertheless had an impact on the family.
Some days, Macintosh was the only one working in the orchards at Sweet Apple Acres, with everypony else busy either taking care of the foal or recovering from the pregnancy, and he privately wondered how his parents had managed when they were raising him. Fortunately, while Fluttershy had been unable to get vacation time for the honeymoon, maternity leave and top-notch medical care was an entirely different matter. However, that didn't mean it wasn't stressful. When the day came, it was both a terror and a relief.
***
Macintosh paced nervously back and forth in the waiting room of the Ponyville General maternity ward. The doctor had assured him that the delivery would go smoothly, but that had been hours ago, regardless of what the clock said. Macintosh didn't smoke, but he was starting to see why a prospective father might.
"Mister Apple? We're ready for you."
He hurried past the doctor into the room. Fluttershy was on the bed, gently cradling the most beautiful foal Macintosh had ever laid eyes on. She was a lovely orange color, with a light pinkish-purple mane, and when she opened her eyes, her father saw they were the same shade as her mane. Macintosh felt his heart melt all over again as he gazed at his family. His wife looked up at him, and he could tell that she felt the exact same way.
"She's perfect."
"She is. Her name is Scootaloo."
Macintosh rolled the name around in his head. It was perfect.
"Welcome ta th' family, Scootaloo."
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*looks at description*
Hey! A story about Fluttershy having a baby.
*looks at character tags*
Holy mother of god. I can't even...
Ok for your first pony fic it's alright, not the best I have seen but certainly not the worst. The base plot is original for sure, never seen one that has Scoots as Fluttershy's real daughter. There are some issues though.
1) Chapter length: normally not a problem but for some reason it feels too long.
2) Details: You jump around quite a bit and somethings are not easily explained
3) Pacing: Story seems to progress too fast, or at least in regards to the romance. It seems that Mac proposes just a few days after she arrives in Ponyville.
Honestly this story has a lot of potential but it can stand a lot of improvement to bring it out.
Yes. Fluttershy+Apples=Scootaloo.
You can't explain that.
Glad to see it's gotten posted here!
Since this is your first story, you'll probably fait when I say this:
+ 
+ 
= 
This is the best FlutterMac fic I've ever read.
A fave and a thumbs up.
You might want to slap on the Alternate Universe tag, just to be on the safe side. It's pretty clear this isn't from the canon setting (where it's pretty clear that Fluttershy is not Scootaloo's mom).
I agree with the suggestion of slapping the Alternate Universe tag on this story. Pacing feels a bit fast with the short snippets style you have going, but otherwise a good read. I don't think I've ever seen a story where Scoots is the daughter of Mac and Fluttershy.
It's beautiful
1628831
Weirdly enough, if you mix the colors of Fluttershy and Big Mac you get Scootaloo's colors. I didn't expect that to work either
1628830
On that last bit: While certainly a valid concern, take comfort in the fact that this was a prologue and little else, and that the rest of this is going to focus on Aunt Abblebloom and Fluttermom shenanigans.
1629134
I know, but still it bugs me.
That was really sweet. I like this idea of an alternate reality.
Then the part at the end... WTF!?
Brilliant.
Grey Mare?
3.bp.blogspot.com/-Hvkrnv3C794/T2ZQwvrqsdI/AAAAAAAABR0/jAgKgr6UtD8/s1600/OhISeeWhatYouDidThere.jpg
Hopefully she is over getting beaten out for Big Mac by the time she is mayor.
Looking forward to what Flutters is like as 'team mom' when the Thousandth Summer Sun Celebration happens.
1628830
I'm working on quality. I'm actually posting this in smaller chunks on the Spacebattles forum for initial hammering-out, and that probably accounts for some of the issues you had. As for pacing, in-story, it was several weeks between arrival and proposal.
1628949
Thanks a bunch!
1629123
That's actually what initially sparked the idea in my mind.
1629218
Oh, this isn't the end. Far from it.
1629430
Thank you for clarifying that.
Dude, this is some damn good AU Fluttermac
. I can not wait to see how the CMC and the Mane Six are all affected by this change
1629430 You have my full attention then.
i like i want to see morre
1628830
I can honestly say that the pacing for the romance is not that fast. It did occur over a few weeks. And I can even point at real life as my own parents got engaged only a month into dating after they met. When they met, my dad having come from Quebec could barely speak much english while my mom could barely speak a word of french.
35 years later they're still married and very much in love with each other.
Aw, sonofa----
I have a (piece of) story written out with the same concept. (Flutters+Mac=Scootaloo). Was just about to post it when this pops up.
Can't really claim that I should be the only one who owns this idea though, so kudos for coming up with it as well. Hopefully yours is successful, 'cause mine probably won't be.
I am enjoying this immensely. I do like the alternate history upping of the ages. Hope this stays slice of life and doesn't go into the Elements of Harmony adventure.
dis gun b gud
Great idea i like it
is this a type of introduction to the universe of the story or the other part of the story will be in the same style with the time jumps?
1630608 Meh, if you think YOUR story with official characters is gonna be unsuccessful, read mine that haters are gonna hate on. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/60794/Strange-New-World Never degrade your ideas, and use this story as an example of what NOT to do in yours for the sake of showing what you can do with your own mind.
Yay! Marvelously done! Buckin saved
But... BUT AH WANT IT NOAW!
Aside from that, I felt that it was really good! Pacing was odd in some places, like saying a few days later they were seeing each other every day now, it's like... a few days isn't really enough time to really be able to say that... A week, yeah, but a few days just makes it kinda... Why do you need both parts, you know? Besides, from what we read before, he was visiting every day before that anyway.
Anyways, looking forward to more!
Well i can say this history is AWESOME!
First thing is that saying that scootaloo is fluttershy mother is a different aproach also it makes more sense to me of why scot likes so much rainbow you know cuz fluttershy also sees her a a model to keep on with.
But i didnt saw that you talked about rainbow anytime that might made it a bit more realistic i will keep on for your next contributions
Let me be brief.
What this IS: 8.5k built out of various sniplets of text and plot lines, all too tiny to form anything of significance.
What this SHOULD BE: At least 20k if not more already. You just went from literally their first meeting to giving birth to their child, and not only that, but you also tore up a whole lot of side plots, none of which can even remotely be treated with this many words. Compare this with a random novel pulled randomly from FIMFiction.. Admittedly, you don't have to go for that kind of length, but still, it's been going on for 100k words and the two are not even in a relationship yet.
My recommendation is that you take your time to do things right. Reworking this fic is probably effort better spent elsewhere, I mean, you did decently for your first fic, but get rid of the obnoxious stars. They completely destroy pacing and, simply through existing, tear the reader from immersion. People don't marry after a few weeks of knowing each other, reflect that fact in your fic. Replace every opportunity where you'd use stars (use horizontal rulers instead if you really must) with text. Make it one continous chain of narration and use timelinking phrases where you skip time spaces, which is necessary, but shouldn't be overdone either. I was told that the mentioned novel actually does a fairly good job at stretching itself out without getting boring.
Still, it was not bad and the English usage was correct, which is not as common as you'd expect even among featured stories. For that, have a
. Though, occasionally, I felt like you used words you didn't really know the usage of trying to sound smarter. Using slightly simpler language that you know is always always always preferrable to misplacing an elevated word and failing horribly in the process.
This is awesome!
And I just realized...
Applebloom is Scootaloo's Aunt
1634536
This isn't going to be all of the story. This is more like the prologue. I'm not discarding plot threads, I'm setting them up for future use. I've no doubt I could have written 20k or more words just in this part, but the story was always meant to be Fluttermac and Scootalovingfamily, not just a Fluttermac story with a twist at the end.
1646840
Yes, yes she is.
Best Fluttermac fic ever. Of all time.
Why does this work? It shouldn't but it does and that scares me. Also nice to see something that doesn't involve Scootabuse.
signed the good dr.
Adorable. *Goes to Fluttershy's father's house and punches him hard* I'm a big Fluttermac 'shipper, so this gets four hooves up from me.
"...established Ponyville's incredibly strict building codes."
*snrk*
In any case, I like this. It's certainly an interesting idea. I'm interested in seeing where you take it.
Im not even a fan of
X 
= 
...
BUT I LOVE THIS STORY!
I need MOAAARR XD
Will this continue ?
because i like it
1770590
I'm working on it, believe me- I'm posting it in smaller chunks on Spacebattles as I progress. I will say, though, that I'm not a very fast writer. Couple that with work and school, and progress is somewhat slow.
DAWWWWWWWWWWWWW...But
+
+ 
= 
Ahahahahaha! 
What's the next story?
And thanks for not describing the ... So,THANKS!
Nikas I don't get it
I would love to see this continued. My friend and i are in the midst of writing a fic based on this concept but with some differences and i would love to see this story continued
and fluttershy dad has no idead of any of this something going down when he finds out
when i saw this
Like the hint of Doctor Whooves
Holy time skips. I like the idea but I feel like there should have been more detail.
I Vill watch Story
SCOOOOOOOOOOTALOOOOO
I don't think Caramel should be considered yellow.
But I guess everything else makes up for it. 
Scootaloo!