A Recommendation
Sir Fancypants watched the cat fight with his book. When she turned a page, it would only reveal the page before it. Once, the mischievous codex tugged at her whiskers. After he was certain that her struggle would be fruitless, he reached out and relieved Opal of the book with a glow of his horn. It took him a moment or two, but he finally turned the page and found a newspaper clipping.
The black-and-white photograph was of his younger self, left side wrapped in bandages. At his side was his sword, and his white coat was stained with soot and grease. His cat was next to him, calmly licking the back of a paw, and they were standing atop a crumbled gargoyle. Behind them, some houses had been scrapped together out of wood and metal, while others were carved into nearby rock faces. Rarity realized that the two explorers were standing in what amounted to a town square for this village. The caption read: "Digging into the past, retired Expeditioner suspects ancient ruin actually monument to great dragon hero. Reward for return of missing stone "hair", details pg.4"
"This is from one of the little towns that exist out beyond Equestria. They are a patchwork, civilizing the land just enough to be called a society. Without airships they could not survive. Here we have trains and carriages, but the land is so wild and the monsters that crawl it so vicious that the only true safety is in the sky." He turned the page again to reveal a cozy little skyskiff that reminded his hostess of that wonderful yacht he owned. "From great monoliths held aloft by helium or hydrogen all the way down to small clippers that are more engine than vessel, you'll find every type of airship out there. It was often said that if you had a chance to count, you'd find more ponies in the sky than on the ground at any given hour of the day or night." The stallion smiled down at his book. "I ventured out there for knowledge... but I wound up staying because I made a few good friends."
The mare nodded. "Amazing what friendship can do for your life. I used to be, well, almost a shut-in. I'd work all the time, barely got out except for functions. I thought I had to if I wanted to be a fashionista."
"I know the feeling. I... well, I thought I was already dead when I was discharged. Didn't know how long I had left, so I tried to discover and document all I could." Sir Fancypants looked up. "I didn't study the dragons because I wanted a new skin, my dear. I studied them because I was fascinated by their civilization. So, I cut off most social contact and just worked. The little one and I would zip about, linking together clues and reconstructing events, digging up fossils and repairing forgotten terminals. Then... then I met her." He chuckled. "Quite by accident, I assure you, I wanted to keep to my work, but I suppose without her I wouldn't have gotten half as much done."
The designer raised an eyebrow and sipped at her tea.
"Miss Rarity, how far would you go for Spike? I've heard that you were willing to fight a few dragons to protect him, is that true?
She blushed. "Yes. A lady must know how to protect herself."
"Given my wife's unhealthy affection for sharp objects, I cannot disagree with that." He grumbled good-naturedly. "But, how far is too far? Would you break the law for him, if his life was in the balance?" The stallion sipped at his tea. "Or, more precisely, would you bend it just enough to let him slip away?"
The seamstress blinked. "I... I suppose that would..." She swallowed hard, unsure of what to say. Then, she leaned forward. "Sir Fancypants, I don't know. I... suppose I would have to know what law I would have to bend."
"I faced a similar dilemma," he confided with a smile. "For when I was a younger boy, I fell in love with a pirate."
Rarity gasped. "Sir Fancypants!"
"Oh, I don't mean one of those amoral marauders who maim for sport and profit. She was not one of those who sought out innocent blood or preyed upon the helpless. I mean a true classical brigand, a mare who lived by her own code. She was the most renown of all the sky pirates on the frontier, and a fine looking mare if I do say so myself. There was a reason she was so successful, though. Whenever I looked into her eyes, I knew that her mind was the most beautiful part of her. She always searched for a way to outmaneuver you, and she was brilliant at herding her opponents into checkmate. That was why she was feared."
"But, Sir Fancypants, a pirate!" The mare protested. "Surely you're not comparing Spike to-to a pirate!"
He chuckled, and leaned back. "No, no. He and his guardian were raised at the heart of the sunrise. My pirate was a poor girl born on the rim of the world, out beyond Her Majesty's domain where the light of civilization is dim." The stallion frowned. "It's a wild land, one rich with resources, but hard to tame. To rule it as most would wish to is all but impossible. Technically it's under the Equestrian banner, but you can find creatures of every shape and size there."
"But... doesn't Celestia want it?" Rarity asked, still not quite understanding. "I mean, what's the harm of claiming it as ours? Ponyville has a mayor, the other cities have governors..."
"No, because Her Majesty doesn't want to rule the world. Even when she and her sister reigned together long ago, they clearly marked their domain. Equestria is large enough for our needs, and small enough to be governed justly." Sir Fancypants patted his sword. "However, that's not to say that Her Majesty has turned her face away from those who dare to take our values beyond her domain. The Sky Marshals guard our borders, and they enforce the law out where the wild wind blows. Every so often a few Expeditioneers roll through on a quest of discovery, since we do so love to embark on crazy adventures." The old soldier winked.
"Even so, it's a hard world, one ruled by conglomerates and criminals as much as lawful governments. On the surface, everyone plays by the rules of the Charter, though I'd be here all day explaining that." He rolled his eyes. "Officially, the Sky Marshals are the law, but you'll find bad apples in their ranks too. That was the world my pirate was born in, and so she chose to take her future into her own hooves."
"By robbing others?" The seamstress asked, then realized how harsh her tone had been. "I'm sorry, Sir Fancypants, I didn't mean to insult her. Or you."
"Bah, I told her to her face that she deserved to hang for all she'd done." He chuckled. "She was a criminal, my dear, but she was not evil. It was the thrill that drove her as much as the reward, but she had her principles. If you fought her and then begged for mercy, she would show none. On the other hoof, if you gave yourself up when she first boarded the ship, you would not be harmed. She despised the slavers, the body traffickers, and the ones who sold wicked drugs. Rum was her vice of choice, though she indulged several of the others on occasion. Her airship's crew ran like a fine timepiece, she relied on them and they adored her. If you couldn't understand that cooperation was a better assurance of profit than backstabbing, then you would be lucky not to catch a dagger with your spine when they threw you out a hatch."
Rarity took a sip of tea. "You respected her."
"That I did."
So you broke the law for her, because she was not as bad a criminal as some."
The old soldier's face softened. "I was not sworn to the law. My oath was to defend Equestrian liberty from all enemies, foreign and domestic. While I was out on the border, I worked with the Sky Marshals quite often, for their Grand Marshal had a vested interest in capturing her. She knew, of course. In fact she often used them to accomplish her own ends. Oh, it was a wonderfully complex web, but it was such fun. Ah... but those are stories for another time. The context I wish to establish, my dear, is that sometimes love makes you do things you normally wouldn't."
"Like write a letter to Princess Celestia." The mare murmured.
"Or offer to fix a Stormblade-class plasma cannon that's held together with brass, hope, and duct-tape." Sir Fancypants nodded. He took a sip of tea. "My dear, this is a very hard thing for me to truly explain. The little one wants me to tell you ten years of my life in the span of as many minutes."
Opal yowled. Was it her fault that his voicebox was unable to warble data as quickly and efficiently as hers? A simple meeaow could express even more than one of his pictures.
"Sir Fancypants, you've already done so much for me." The young mare smiled. She knew what Spike was, what he would become... and an idea was starting to form as to how she might woo him while she waited. "If you don't feel comfortable talking about this, I couldn't force you."
The persian hissed, and aimed a reproachful glare up at her owner.
The stallion smiled. "Hmm. Well, my dear, I didn't come here today to bore you with my life story. I came to help you plan yours." He took a sip of tea. "This is a story about how I had to choose if I loved someone else because of how she made me feel, or if I truly loved her and wanted to see the best for her. You already know that it's something of a story about love making one do strange things. Would you care to hear the rest?"
Rarity leaned back and curled a lock of her mane. No, this wasn't about dragons. It was about reality, and the hard choices you had to make. She saw that this was something close to his heart, one could tell by the look in his eyes and the way he kept his breathing steady. These were bittersweet memories for the old stallion. "Yes, sir. I would like to hear about your pirate."
With a smile, Opal settled back onto the table and winked up at her old companion.
"All right you little scoundrel. You've got me." Sir Fancypants rolled his shoulders. "When I was young and reckless, freshly discharged from the Expeditionary Corps and unsure of my place in the world, I searched for the remains of the Imperium Dracon out in those borderlands. The first time I met that beautiful pegasus-pirate was when she... I'd like to call it a rescue, but it was more of a temporary enslavement. I impressed her, and afterward she often kidnapped me along to help her study a relic or unearth an ancient ruin."
He sighed. "Hmmph. We did not have a traditional relationship. It was ten years of adventure and archaeology, filled with pauses of eerie normality. Throughout that decade, I... I can't quite express how I felt when I looked in her eyes, nor could I make you understand how she was... different. You sort of knew as soon as you saw her operate that she was not an evil brute. She would shoot you as soon as look at you, as would any of her crew. But at the same time, she would not murder an officer of the law, nor would she hurt a cowed civilian. She had no problem forcing a few captives to dig for her, but she would make sure they got back to a safe port with a bit of coin for their trouble."
The stallion shrugged. "My pension check always found me, for I had somehow managed to gain a hero's reputation in the Expeditionary Corps, so I never really lacked for money. I was close friends with the Grand Marshal, even if he did threaten to have me hanged now and again, so when I was not off exploring I would help with cases. Whenever my pirate kidnapped me, I would tell her up front that it was my duty to aid the law and bring her to justice... but I never quite let them catch her, and she never quite put me in a spot where I had no other option than to turn her in." He met his hostess' eyes and smiled bashfully. "Oh, once or twice they managed to throw her into a prison, but there was only one Sky Marshal who ever truly caught her. She had a black queen on her flank, my dear. That girl was a mastermind the likes of which the world seldom sees."
The designer sighed. "All right, so you fell in love with a sky pirate, and she was a decent mare." She shook her head. "Sir Fancypants, I do believe you could tell me that the mailmare was dating an alien from beyond our reality and make me believe it."
He choked on his tea, but quickly regained his composure. "Ah... ha, ha." The stallion chuckled, his eyes wide. "Why, Miss Rarity, you fashionistas have such wild imaginations."
Opal mewed innocently. The old soldier shot her a glare.
"Mmm, as I was saying, she had an amazing mind. I didn't love her because she was a pirate, or because she had one of the few airships good enough to get out to the truly untouched ruins. I didn't love her because of her wealth, or her power. I loved her because I felt something in my heart whenever she brushed a wing along my back, or thanked me for a job well done. I loved her for the way she kept true to her morals, even when it would have been easier to just cut down everything that moved. Most of all, I loved how she always was one step ahead of the law, and two steps ahead of everypony else. She had a mind that could have corrupted that land with slavery of the whip and of the needle, broken the backs of the Sky Marshals, and set herself up as queen."
He smiled. "But she didn't. I think she took a twisted pleasure in raiding those conglomerates and burning the drug-runners' stashes. She had grown up under their heels, and that had made her sharp as a blade. That was why I loved her, and I think she loved me because I valued my life less than my honor. Sometimes, that was what she needed to keep her true to herself. Before I came along, she had a rather curious game of cat and mouse going with my friend the Grand Marshal, almost never passing up a chance to tweak his nose. Every time he missed her by a feather's length, but she was usually cluing him in to a worse set of offenders. He was a firm believer in a strong, fair law, but that also bound him tightly to a sense of priority. She knew that as long as she was clever and kept true to her code, he could not simply shoot her on sight. My pirate did not hate the law, she merely toyed with it."
"And she got away with that?"
Sir Fancypants nodded. "Hmm... little one, see if you can find that photo from the Sky Marshals' Charity Ball." He smiled. "It was the largest assembly of lawbringers in ten years. It was held in the capital of those borderlands, actually a fair-sized city. Had its own rail line and everything. The event was one of those standard affairs, wealthy girls would donate a sum for a dance with the charming young officers, and rich boys would empty their trust accounts for a twist with the mares in uniform." The stallion sighed, and a little bit of the joy faded from his eyes. "It was held every year, but when they announced how that year's ball would be an exceptionally exquisite one, my dear pirate decided she wanted a date with the Grand Marshal."
The cat purred softly. She had found a picture of two pegasi. One was a very shapely brown mare with a devilish grin, and at her side was a straightlaced stallion whose fur was sky blue. The mare wore a perfectly tailored red dress that covered her cutie mark, along with a matching fedora. Next to the Grand Marshal's ornate uniform she seemed almost underdressed, but even the fashionista could not deny that she looked stunning in the ensemble. Perhaps some sequins or ribbon... The black boots did add that bit of criminal flair, but Sir Fancypants had been right about her eyes. The mare in red looked as though she could be dancing through a room full of Sky Marshals one moment, and have all of them wondering where in the world she was the next.
"Wait, she walked into a room full of trained law-enforcement professionals dressed like this?"
"Mmm-hmm." Sir Fancypants chuckled. "Oh, the Grand Marshal recognized her as quick as you could wink, but by then it was too late. She'd already bought him for the whole night, and before he could yell she whispered into his ear that she had smuggled in a few vats of a rather horrible gas with the catering. Harmless, if you had the antidote running in your system. Lethal, if you didn't." He smiled. "Of course, security was too tight for that. Even for her. So, it was all a bluff. However she had me along as her trump card. The Grand Marshal shot me a look, and I just nodded sadly."
The mare gasped. Opal snickered. "You lied?"
He rested his chin on his front hooves. "I helped two very good friends of mine have a wonderful night of dancing together." He reached out and turned to a sketch of two pegasi swooping through the high ceiling of the ballroom together. They were in the middle of a particularly intricate maneuver, and it almost looked as though the mare was kissing him on the cheek. Rarity glanced up, saw the wistful expression on Sir Fancypants' face, and realised why there were little splotches on the page where droplets of water had dried. After a long moment, and a glance at her cat, she realized why Opal had wanted her to hear this story.
"You had to let her go."
"I loved her. She loved me. We could have had a life together, but... it wasn't to be." He chuckled softly. "She had been teasing him since before I met her, and they had spent so long crawling inside one another's minds that they were the only two who could understand each other. He despised her, but he respected her. She knew he was the only one who had always been there for her, albeit with a set of cuffs and a noose. Often, he would tell me what a wonderful Sky Marshal she would have made, if only she had chosen the path of justice and order. But the law said that she must hang for her crimes, and he was sworn to uphold the law. That night, though, I think she made him see that sometimes... the law isn't always right." He took a sip of tea and closed his eyes. "She never lied to me about what we had, and it was special. Just... not what I wanted it to be. We tried, we really did, but... my crippled body and tormented mind couldn't keep up with her."
"But you still wanted the best for your pirate, even if she had made it clear that she loved another." The designer teased a lock of her mane nervously. He was telling her this so she could learn, not because he wanted her to throw away what she had with Spike. Even so, how could she not feel sympathy for the stallion?
He nodded. "Because I loved her, Miss Rarity. I wanted to see her happy. Even if... I couldn't share that joy."
The mare reached across the table and gently touched his hooves. "I'm sorry."
Sir Fancypants looked down at the table. "I must say that I am not. I don't regret it, not one minute. I regret what could have been, but it wasn't my choice." He brightened. "And, if I had been her true love, I never would have ventured to the lost city, never would have met Fleur... and I would not be here this afternoon with a charming young Element Bearer. We do not always get the destiny we want, but we can always choose what means we are willing to use to achieve our ends. My pirate chose her means, and so she was able to have a night of wonderful dancing with her love. If she had been one of the wretched monsters, he would have risked it and run her through on the spot." The stallion chuckled. "But instead, he went along with her plan. He knew when she promised him that nopony would be hurt if he played along like a good boy, she would honor her word. Even smiled at me once. He'd never admit it, but he had a wonderful time."
"Who was she?" Rarity asked, curious. "I've heard of a few sky pirates..."
His eyes widened, and he leaned forward. "There are some things I must guard my tongue from saying, my dear."
She blushed. "I understand, Sir Fancypants." That had been part of the deal, after all. Still, she could tell that he was abridging so much for her sake. That photograph had looked familiar... but where on earth had she seen that red fedora before?
"You know, I feel terribly sorry for Her Majesty. When I finally pass on, my secrets will go with me." He shivered. "But she must endure, carrying the weight of centuries within her mind."
"Just like Spike." The mare said softly.
"Indeed." He took a sip of tea. "I helped those two have a wonderful night together because it formed a memory that could not be stolen away. After that night, I knew that she was not my mare, however much she cared for me. Even so, I didn't know how they could ever be together. He would be obliged to hang her if he ever caught her, no matter his feelings. Really, that was the saddest thing about him, he never let himself feel. For him there was only the law. He kept the border towns safe, and the ponies adored him, but... he was lonely. I think I was one of his only true friends, and that was just because he knew that he could ship me back to Equestria for a military tribunal instead of dealing with me himself." Once an Expeditioner, always an Expeditioner, especially at the higher ranks.
The stallion coughed. "Then, one day, I was snatched away and brought to her ship. Not for a grand expedition or a cunning raid, not that time. She wanted me to deliver an envelope." His shoulders slumped. "I... was still having trouble accepting that we couldn't be together. Of course, I wanted the best for her, and I knew my friend the Grand Marshal was an excellent choice, but... well, I was quietly angry that I was not the one."
"Who wouldn't be?" Rarity asked.
Sir Fancypants sighed. "She told me that the envelope held vital evidence, and I needed to take it directly to the Grand Marshal. As I made my way back to civilization, I thought I knew what her scheme was. She wanted a pardon, and so she had dug up evidence that would convict some wretched gang or corporate board who deserved death a thousand times more than she and her crew did. In the eyes of the law, the Grand Marshal would be able to suspend her sentence in exchange for that evidence. They could live happily ever after... but she needed a knight in fresh bandages to deliver that envelope discretely. Then the Grand Marshal could start the cogs turning."
Opal turned to a sketch of the Expeditioner's cat. She was sitting atop the envelope and hissing at the artist. The stallion smiled. "I was angry. I sat in my home, and I wanted to burn that envelope. That... that evil part in all of us wanted her, and I gave it a hoofhold. I wanted to be the one she relied on, I wanted to be her strength. I was an Expeditioner, a Knight of the Order Solar, a hero! What was he but a tough lawbringer. He had never stared down an army imbued by the Ruinous Powers. He had never fought in the trenches, never held the line when all hope was gone and all that remained was duty until death." Sir Fancypants closed his eyes. "I wanted to burn it, or perhaps I could give it to another Sky Marshal, one who had political aspirations. Surely he could see the Grand Marshal strung up on charges of conspiring with pirates. Then she would be mine. Or, I could open it myself and find out which band of pirates she was turning in. I could give them the letter, and they could rid me of this wretched mare who had chosen another."
The cat purred softly. He reached out and scratched her behind the ears. "No, you wouldn't let me, little one. You kept it away until I had calmed down, and worked out my anger on a poor, defenceless piece of paper."
"What did you do then?"
"The only thing I could. I went to the Grand Marshal, and I delivered the letter directly into his hooves. Unopened. I watched as he opened it. Inside were several sheets of paper. He picked up one bearing his name and read it slowly. Once, twice, then I watched his eyes trace over the page a third time. Then he produced a lighter from his desk, and burned every scrap of it to ash. Inside the envelope were photographs and diagrams." The stallion took off his monocle and rubbed his eyes. "My dear, it was an invasion. If I had waited, or destroyed the evidence, we would all have been dead or worse. If I had opened it, tampered with her seal, he would have thought it was another trick like at the charity ball."
Rarity raised an eyebrow. "An invasion? I thought nopony cared about those borderlands."
"It wasn't the borderlands they wanted. It was the towns." He swallowed hard. "Slavers. An intercontinental cabal had rallied the worst of the pirate clans, bankrolled them. They planned to reap us like fields of wheat. The Grand Marshal had never seen anything like this before. Oh, there were rumors of some great force plotting against civilization, but nopony gave it credence. She sent us photographs of the slavers' flagship, a cursed thing that looked positively ancient. I still see it in my nightmares, I still hear that infernal hum."
The mare blinked. "Hum?"
He and the cat traded a glance. "Ah... not a topic for today, I think. My pirate warned us, told us how and where. When they came, we were prepared." A proud smile crossed his muzzle. "History calls it the Skyfold Blitz. In her envelope was a letter for me too, but I cannot show you that today. It told me I was the only one who could save the capital, because that was where the slavers' flagship was bound for." He sipped at his tea. "It was more than just a ship, it was... evil. I knew as soon as I saw the photograph. She had given me an enemy I could understand, but I did not know if I could win. I didn't, not on my own, but we survived. I and a few..." He sighed quietly. No, he couldn't mention the Expeditioneers he had rallied to his command. Not today. "We held the line. While the Sky Marshals battled their fleets across a front so large I could only call it apocalyptic, I kept them from taking the capital. I killed the slavers' old machine, sent it crashing down to the earth." He smiled wistfully. "I even saved the Grand Marshal. He told me to run, but I wouldn't. I loved her, so I saved him, even though I could have let him die with a clear conscience." The stallion looked his hostess in the eye. "Would you be willing to do that for your dragon, Miss Rarity?"
The designer leaned back. She swallowed hard, and took a sip of tea. It tasted bitter in her mouth. "I don't know." She whimpered softly. "I don't know. Some Element of Generosity I am."
Sir Fancypants chuckled. "Oh, you're a fine Element Bearer, Miss Rarity. But mortals like you and I, we're not naturally good. It's not the easy path. Chaos is the natural order." He reached out and lifted her chin. "It's hard, and sometimes it doesn't feel like it's worth the effort."
She blinked back a few tears. "I don't want to lose him."
He smiled, and took his hoof away. "I didn't want to lose Fleur, either. I'd lost too many already. Do you know what I did to give myself a little peace?"
Rarity shook her head, her mane bouncing with the gesture.
"I first thought of buying her a beautiful necklace, something of humble form but awe-inspiring craftsmareship. However, I realized that would not be enough. She had enough pretty baubles. Instead, I gave her a memory. A sort of demonstration, a taste of what I hoped our life together could be like. I thought of many refined, elegant resorts. I realized that she had been alive when many of them were built a century or two ago." He shrugged. "So, I took her out to Neighagra Falls, and we went tubing."
The fashionista blinked. "Tubing." I must have heard him wrong.
"Yes, with inflated rubber tubes." He noticed the expression on her face and reached out for his book. Sure enough, he produced a photograph of himself and the supermodel seated in inflated rubber tubes, and floating down a river without a care in the world. He had one of her fetlocks in his, and the pink-maned mare had an almost childlike smile on her face. The sight brought tear to her husband's eye. His darling had never really experienced childhood. That was why she loved to work with children. Such was the price of forging the ultimate Crusader.
The younger unicorn closed her gaping mouth.
"We floated for hours, spotting birds, watching the passing scenery... just, talking." He blushed, beginning to realize how odd this sounded to the mare. "You understand, we were so used to going with the ebb and flow on a battlefield that the feeling of being tugged along by the peaceful water, together..." He cleared his throat. "It was wonderful. It was a memory that meant much to us, because it was a moment of solace. When she came back to me, she still remembered. She wanted to live that kind of life with me."
Rarity nodded slowly. "I... think I understand, Sir Fancypants. Tubing, though. I never would have... I mean, there's nothing wrong with it at all, but-"
"Not what you expected, hmm?" He chuckled.
"Not at all." She smiled. "You go from sky pirates and blitzes to tubing and romance. What became of those two pegasi, anyway? Did she get her pardon?"
The stallion suddenly became very quiet. "Yes."
Opal growled softly, and poked him. He glared down at her. "Mrraaaow."
"That's all I can say. Yes, she did."
Rarity took a sip of tea. He was not angry, he was not scared, he was... he was keeping his promise. Still, curiosity got the better of her. "Did they get together?"
He looked away, out the window. "Hmm. It's later than I thought." The stallion inspected one of his front hooves. "Yes. They did."
Let it rest, Rarity. Let it rest. Don't ask- "...and lived happily ever after?"
Sir Fancypants looked up with a very guarded expression. "After the Blitz, we pushed. We counter-punched, everything we had left. Rooted out the pirates, shattered their strongholds, torched their stockpiles. It was a matter of survival, if we had not they would have rallied and tried to pick us apart while we rebuilt. Couldn't find her. Hadn't heard from her since just before the Blitz, and the Grand Marshal never let slip where his intel came from." The stallion's voice was dry, and his words forced. He sounded like a record, except he didn't have that warm undertone. "Things happened. Things I can't talk about. I saw both of them..."
The cat hissed. He looked down at her and shook his head. She rolled her eyes.
"They're gone. I got her a posthumous pardon." He swallowed hard. "On the frontier, they're legends. You... might have heard of them, but I can't say anymore." The old soldier closed his eyes. He remembered the parades, and the mourning. "They're gone."
Rarity was a very clever mare. She leaned her head to the side. "Sir Fancypants. I'm sorry." With a soft glow of her horn, she refilled his cup. "I shouldn't have let Opal force you."
"It's all right." He sipped at his tea and smiled at her. "Mmm, she always did have to have her way."
"I've learned a lot today. Thank you." She looked in his eyes. He was holding something back... "I understand that sometimes, you have to sacrifice everything for love. Would you say that it was worth the cost?"
He leaned slightly to the side. "Ah... yes. Yes, I would say that it is worth it, if the love is true. I gave up much because I loved my pirate, and I wanted her to be happy."
The mare smiled into her cup. "I wasn't talking about you, Sir Fancypants. Your friend, the Grand Marshal. Was he willing to give up everything for love?"
His left eye twitched, and he glanced down at the white persian. She winked at him, a smug grin across her face.
"I think he was." The stallion said carefully. "I think he would have been prepared to seize the moment, and he would have thought that the cost was worth the reward."
Rarity nodded. "Thank you, Sir Fancypants. I learned a lot from that story." She took a sip of tea, feeling rather pleased with herself. She had deduced what Opal wanted her to from the story. Sometimes you had to let go, and sometimes you had to be willing to set your burdens down to be with the one you loved. He still looked sad, though. Poor dear. For a moment she hesitated, then decided to say it. Somepony had to. "And thank you for helping your friends to have a wonderful night together."
Opal rolled onto her back, clapped her front paws together, and snickered.
Sir Fancypants blinked, not quite understanding what had happened. After a moment, he set his jaw and glared at her. "Miss Rarity-"
"I didn't hear anything." She said with a smile. "And it won't leave this room."
He leaned back, then after a long moment began to smile. "Not like it matters anymore, anyway. But I keep my word, I didn't even tell Cuffwin Keys when he asked."
Rarity's eyes widened. "You knew Cuffwin Keys? The composer?"
He nodded. "Yes, my dear. Without him, and my pirate, and the lawbringer... why, I'd never have found my way to the lost city. Music was the key that unlocked my mind." The old soldier chuckled. "Perhaps one day, I'll tell you the whole story. Well, except for the bit I can't." He winked. "Today is your story, though. I've told you my memories, given you my knowledge. Some of the things I've said are best left within this boutique."
"You have my word, Sir Fancypants. I may enjoy a bit of gossip, but I do know how to be discrete."
"Of course." He nodded again. "Have you reached a decision?"
The fashionista put on a demure smile. "It's Spike's decision, not mine. All I can do is offer him my love."
"Good girl. I hope that you never have to endure heartbreak as I have, but when I was in basic training, I thought I would never be more than a mere infantrypony. I didn't understand why they made me learn how to pilot a tank." The right side of the stallion's mouth quirked up. "My instructors thought otherwise. We train ourselves so that the unexpected can be overcome."
"And so we can prepare ourselves to seize the moments, when they come." Rarity thought that she might put on that camouflage hat once the stallion left. She was feeling a rather military buzz. "Because of what we know."
"And knowing is half the battle." The stallion chuckled. "Now, I think I have served my purpose." He stood, and rolled a kink out of a leg. "Thank you for the tea, my dear." He glared at the cat. "And... thank you, little one. I've missed you."
Opal waved a paw at him and mewed softly.
"Oh, fine, fine. I'll tell her." The stallion winked. "She thinks you and Spike would make a cute couple too. But, she's always been biased toward reptiles."
The cat hissed, and her former owner laughed.
"I'll keep that in mind." Rarity stood to walk him to the door. "Really, I don't know where to begin with all this. At least now I know it's more than a springtime fantasy."
Sir Fancypants removed his monocle and appraised her for a moment. "My dear..." His voice fully embraced that buttery-smooth Canterlot accent once again. "Would you like a piece of advice from an old rapscallion?"
The fashionista nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, sir!"
"Ponies often say that it's the thought that counts. That's very true, mmm, but an insider knows that it's the memory that matters. Take Fleur and I as an example. If I took any girl along for a tubing expedition, she would think me rather strange. However, for Fleur and I, it was the perfect getaway. No cares, no worries, and plenty of things to simply look at as we floated along. That memory mattered much to her." He took his bowler hat from the rack. "Find an event that will matter to your dragon, and a way to make it a lasting memory."
"Hmm..." She pursed her lips in thought. "What was it you said earlier... music was the key..."
He nodded. "Music is a very important thing to dragons. I say, here's another example..." With a glow of his horn, he pulled his book out once more, and flipped through it until he found a set of black-and-white booking photographs. It took Rarity a moment to recognize the mare, but she knew it had to be that pirate.
"Was her mane grey?" She hadn't looked closely enough at the earlier picture, and most of the mare's mane had been obscured by the angle and her red fedora.
"Three shades of it, to be precise. As I said, the Grand Marshal was the only one who ever caught her with wits rather than luck or brute force. That got her interest, but it was his style that made it a memory. He didn't catch one of her mistakes, he honestly outsmarted her. She wasn't used to that, growing up with a black queen on her flank and all."
Rarity sighed. "So, their relationship started with a set of mugshots. How... romantic."
"As I said, it's the thought that counts." He slipped his book back into his vest. "And I know you can come up with something infinitely better for your dragon."
"I will." She said quietly. "You haven't wasted your time."
Sir Fancypants winked. "I know I haven't. Hmm... actually, my dear, when you do follow through with whatever you come up with," he paused, as though embarrassed to ask. "I mean, I do not wish to imply that I would be checking up on you or anything..."
"Sir Fancypants, please." She smiled warmly at him. "What is it?"
"Write me a letter, if it's not too much trouble. I... I've seen enough horrible things in my life. It would help me sleep at night to know that I've... I've helped something beautiful flourish." He leaned away from her, and for a moment there was a curiously vulnerable expression on the old soldier's face. "If it's not too private, of course."
"Of course. I'll write you, Sir Fancypants." Rarity glanced to the side, unsure if she should ask. Opal waved lazily at her from the table, then growled softly as she nodded toward the stallion. The designer smiled up at him. "And perhaps, if you're not satisfied with your current tailor, I might be able to make a customer of you?"
"Miss Rarity, I'll have you know that I employ the finest designers in all of Canterlot. Fleur would nail me to the wall if I came home wearing anything but the latest and greatest." He winked. "Do you truly believe you're up to the challenge of pleasing not my tastes, but those of my wife?"
She giggled. "Oh, you'd wear your old tanker's uniform out in public if she let you, wouldn't you, Sir Fancypants?"
"Nothing wrong with a few grease stains and scorch-marks." He grumbled, then glanced back at the cat. "Ah, don't think I'm not wise to your game."
"Meeeow?" The white persian crossed her paws, the very picture of innocence.
"I thought as much. Today is not the day for action and ray guns."
"Ray guns?" Rarity cried out. "What on earth?"
"Oh? I didn't mention that?" He smiled. "Ah yes, my pirate had a wonderful contraption of cogs and coils that would atomize anypony she pointed it at. Oh, and the Grand Marshal had a very interesting pistol. He could fire all kinds of bullets from it. Heat seekers, stun rounds, high-explosives, mmm, sometimes I would wonder where he got all those wonderful toys."
"It did sound like a rather... dramatic part of your life." She said. "But what did you mean you told it to Cuffwin Keys?"
The stallion smiled. "Perhaps on another day, one not focused on your life but on mine, I may tell you the full story. I've it all written in pictures and snippets here." He tapped his book. "But, not today. This is your time, my dear, and I mustn't take any more of it. After all, you've a memory to create."
Rarity dipped her head. "Thank you, Sir Fancypants. Perhaps on another day we'll make a trade, a suit for a story?"
With a chuckle, the old Expeditioner opened the door. "My dear, you're picking up a bit of my charm!"
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3057762 YAY 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO~
Carman San Diego and Johny Bravo!
Been missing a lot of Spike-Wikey...you must have something BIG planned for his appearance.
Really loved this chapter and the story up til now. Just really hope Spike and Rarity get together by the end of the story.
3096233 Oddly enough, his increasing chaos was one of the means by which I had felt he could be utterly destroyed.
Increase the chaos in him to its fullest extent... and his very essence flies apart, incapable of manifesting any form or thought ever again.
This. This made me crack up laughing. Well done!
The chapter overall was quite amusing, even if I didn't know most of the references.
>>>"Sir Fancypants, I do believe you could tell me that the mailmare was dating an alien from beyond our reality and make me believe it.">>>
Don't be silly. Time Turner is a perfectly normal stallion with a blue police box in his back yard.
>>>I didn't love her because she was a pirate, or because she had one of the few airships good enough to get out to the truly untouched ruins.>>>
I, for one, would like to hear tell of the time they stumbled upon the ancient ruins of a city built millions of years ago by the legendary Hyoo-mons who, legend has it, 'didst do wickedly in the sight of Faust and didst maketh ponies into teenagers in high school, for which they wert punished with obliteration for their sins and swept from the world forever and ever.' -The Book of Jeremareah 13:8
>>>She sent us photographs of the slavers' flagship, a cursed thing that looked positively ancient. I still see it in my nightmares, I still hear that infernal hum.">>>
>>>I killed the slavers' old machine, sent it crashing down to the earth.">>>
Cursed, ancient-looking, evil ship that was alive and made terrible noises in the mind...
jimagin.pagesperso-orange.fr/delenn.scully/Shadow%20ship3.jpg
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
I actually read this last night, nearly the moment the alert hit, but it as waaay too late at night for me to make any kind of constructive comment...
Excellent work, I'm really looking forward to se where your going with this. (You have certainly had the most unique take on Fancy and Fleur I've ever seen, and I rather like that!)
So... the pirate is based off of Carmen Sandiego but is Daring Doo in character. I like that, it's a really cool idea.
References were strong in this one! Personally, Fancy Pants'es part is a huge selling point in all of this. The old stallion makes things happen!
More brilliant stories, lessons and parallels drawn here. A little sad to see this arc has finished.
"Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?" and "Johnny Bravo?" Are those what the references are referring to?
I wonder how different pony pirate Carmen San Diego would be, if this came out after the Rarity noir episode.
Fancy Pants NoOOO! Don't leave us!
Pony War Hammer 40K is just too interesting for you to leave!