Dis Immortalis

by Twilitbook

Avgi

Finally, this thing is done! *covers his head with his hooves and falls back in his chair* Ugh, I've been out of the writing buisness way to long. This took me longer than I wanted to finish. How do some of these authors do it on here... it baffles me.. still, I'm towards the younger end of the spectrum in this fandom, so in all fairness I have time. Sorry for the wait, to you few, wonderful people who consider this literature! You warm my heart. Life caught up to myself and my awesome editors, John Perry and Halcyon, so it took me a few extra days to punch this out. Hope you enjoy the final chapter of Dis Immortalis. Or throw tomatoes. Hey, any press is good press, right?

Warning: Rating upped to Teen for usage of alcohol, slight Molestia, and ponies. Especially because of ponies.

Dis Immortalis

Avgi

"Now if you could just raise your left wing for me, Your Highness."

Celestia winced as she extended her wing for the doctor examining her. Though it was still tender and sore, in truth Celestia was just happy to finally be free of the splint that had constrained her wing these past few weeks.

Clean Bandage, the royal physician and herbalist, pressed his hoof against the joint of the limb, eliciting the faintest sound of discomfort from the princess. Her hooves pressed into the soft mattress of her bed.

"Still some discomfort in it? That's not expected," said as the pasty-white pony moved his hoof along the wing. "Your wing humerus has sealed up nicely and doesn't seem to be rubbing against your coracoid bone." Clean Bandage worked his way up slowly, lingering on Celestia's primary feathers.

Celestia gave a slight shudder as he touched the sensitive quills and said, "It only hurts now when I try to lift the wing. But when I try to lift the other one..." she trailed off, hoping Clean Bandage would understand.

The unicorn doctor sagely nodded and reassuringly tapped her pristine wing with his hoof.

"Any discomfort you should have at this point is due to your pectorals and the supracoracoideus muscles still being bruised. Until your body finally repairs the damage, extending either of your wings is going to be less than pleasant." He slowly continued pressing against her wing, moving his hooves meticulously against it. "Alright, you can close it now, your highness."

Celestia gave a sound of relief as the appendage folded up against her body. The sharp pain in her chest receded as she let the muscles rest. As Clean Bandage gathered his herbs and supplies into the satchel he always carried around with him, Celestia felt the need to ask the most important question of all.

"How long until I am able to fly again?"

Clean Bandage gave pause in his cleanup to give one final look over Celestia's wing.

"About one to two years..." the doctor said. Celestia looked impassive at this news. "...for a regular pegasus, your highness. Due to your uniqueness, it's hard to say. Your wing should've taken at least eight months before the splint came off for any other pony. Three weeks later, here we are. You're... a special case."

The doctor failed to notice the slight tremor that ran through Celestia's limbs as her serene face broke out into a gentle smile.

"Thank-you, as always, for your help."

As if on cue, there was a knocking at the chamber door, then a pause, and a single rap at the end. Celestia could feel a sudden drain of energy in her body as the door magically opened to the coded knock to admit the one pony Celestia dreaded seeing most today.

"Good morning, your highness," said a pale yellow mare as she entered the quarters. Her orange hair mane was tied into a ponytail that hung over her shoulder. A swarm of magically suspended scrolls tailed behind the unicorn, and she carried a precarious stack of papers on her back. "I organized those fief requests that were submitted last week, and there are several letters from the nobles inquiring about-- oh! Good morning, Clean Bandage," she acknowledged with a smile to the herbalist.

"It's nice to see such a young face so cheerful at this ungodly hour, Lily Bud." Clean Bandage said cordially. His brow furrowed as he took in the papers the mare carried. "I thought I told you that her highness-"

Celestia cut off Clean Bandage as she rose from the bed. "I personally asked Lily Bud to prepare today's work for me. She has been invaluable to me these past few weeks." That didn't mean the mountains of paper would be any more pleasant for her to get done.

"I'm glad to see you've taken my advice about bed rest." the doctor remark with a disapproving look at Celestia. The white princess met his gaze with one of her own.

"I have a duty to my people..." Celestia responded with a small frown, "...a broken wing does not give me the excuse to abandon that duty." Celestia turned back to Lily Bud, and beckoned for her hoofmaiden to follow her. "Come, the carriage awaits..."

With that, the royal physician levitated the satchel onto his back and bowed before his goddess.

***

"...the governor of Neighples will be meeting with you during lunch today to discuss the latest harvest taxes. Afterwards, a group of pegasi has petitioned against your decision to permit less snow for the rest of Winter. If you just explain to them, in your wisdom, that..."

Celestia looked up at the night sky from the warmth of the royal carriage. Only the pale glow of Lily Bud's horn illuminated the red, plush interior of the carriage as the unicorn read from the list in front of her.

It was proving to be yet another horrible night, no better than the previous.

Celestia sighed as Lily Bud continued to tick items off of the “Royal To-Do” list for tomorrow. It had been a long day. Tomorrow looked like it would be even longer.

The goddess's eyes focused on the few scattered stars above that she rose only a few hours ago, mentally critiquing her work. It seemed so amateurish, so disgraceful, such an insult to the art...

But necessary.

“…and Starlight, at the behest of the Arcana Council, has inquired if the group could resume session with you again later today if at all possible.”

Celestia heard Lily Bud roll the scroll back up, and then there was no more. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air, broken only by the sound of the carriage wheels rattling against the dirt road. Celestia turned her contemplation from outside to the yellow mare sitting across from her. It was only when the princess took note of Lily Bud’s anxious posture that she realized that her advisor was expecting some sort of response from the sovereign.

“Starlight. The name sounds familiar.” Celestia said, turning her head back towards the window yet keeping part of her gaze on the mare. If Lily Bud was disappointed with Celestia’s response, she made no so indication of it whatsoever.

“It should,” said Lily Bud. “He’s the great grandson of Starswirl the Bearded, and the last apprentice Starswirl’s student Clover the Clever took on before she passed away. He’s assumed temporary leadership of the Arcana Council since…” here, Lily Bud caught herself, the words sticking in her throat for a second. “…since… the incident, your highness.”

Luna.

Luna had been the previous leader of the Arcana Council, the group of unicorn mages who served and advised the throne on magical issues. Luna had always been so far more fascinated with the mystic arts than her sister.

Celestia could see her hoofmaiden carefully appraising her. As though the last five words would have some sort of effect on her. But there would never be any emotion behind them. Not yet anyways. Celestia still felt numb to it all.

Maybe it was how everypony around her kept skirting around what happened. Celestia could hear her subjects whisper as she walked down the streets of Canterlot. She would pick up snippets of the servants gossiping in the manor. Even her guards would talk of it when they thought she was beyond earshot. “The incident” they called it.

Those two words disgracefully summed up everything that had happened those weeks ago. All the lives lost, everything that had been destroyed, all the shaking of the heavens as two gods clashed between each other. Those two words took everything and defined itself.

But Celestia didn't want to hear those two words.

She only wanted to hear one.

One name she desperately wanted to hear from anypony.

Just one.

"YOUR HIGHNESS!" A frantic voice emerged from outside of the carriage. The sound jarred the princess from her musings. Celestia turned her head to look outside the carriage once more and her eyes widened in genuine surprise as she saw a grey pegasus in dark-blue armor heading towards the carriage. One of its yellow draconic eyes was swollen shut. Celestia had begun to briefly wonder why the pegasus had not taken to the air. But as the pony drew closer, the reason became horrifying clear. Rivers of red ichors ran down the pony's flanks, originating from the jagged gouges that had ripped into the membrane of the bat wings.

"Please help me!" the pegasus shouted.

Lily Bud acted quickly. Her hoof swiftly pulled aside the wooden panel separating the carriage's occupants from the ponies pulling it upfront. As if on cue, both of the white stallions turned their heads back to look at her.

Lily Bud could hear other voices outside over the sound of the stallions' hooves."Drive faster. Lose him. Protect her majesty." the yellow unicorn ordered. The stallions merely nodded their heads in unison before Lily Bud shut the panel and turned to face Celestia, whose eyes remained glued on what was happening outside.

There was a sudden scream and Lily Bud moved a second too slow. Before she could grip the curtain with her teeth and yank it across the window, Celestia had already squeezed her eyes shut, her elegant white body trembling.

Celestia felt the carriage pick up speed under her as the drivers quickened their pace.

The chorus of distant voices cheered, "LONG LIVE THE PRINCESS!"

***

Celestia took one last hard look at the stone spheres before her. She picked one of them up, rolling it between her hooves. She peered at every surface of the granite orb, looking for the millionth time for any sort of flaws or marking.

There were none.

Celestia carefully placed the stone back down onto the padded cushion with the four other remaining Elements of Harmony. The pedestal they had once laid upon was nothing more than a shadow of its former glory. Where once it had held six brilliant jewels, each supported aloft by its own inherent magic, now laid five pieces of stone dead to her touch.

What had happened?

The Arcana Council had been studying the gems since her fight with Luna, trying to understand how such powerful and magical artifacts, magic that predated even Celestia, could suddenly turn dormant after all these years.

After countless spells and hours spent under magical scrutiny, the Council had learned as much about the Elements as Celestia knew about being a stallion.

That is to say, squat.

With a wave of her hoof, the massive iron doors to the vault glowed briefly before shutting close with a loud clang. Like a death knell, the noise echoed throughout the dusty and ruined halls of the Everfree Castle, with broken stones and pillars the only witnesses to the Elements of Harmony being once more locked in their proper place. The jewels and their wonderful magic had disappeared forever.

Celestia had her theories.

She wondered if Discord would have approved, if given the chance to see the Elements of Harmony cannibalize their own magic from being used for the wrong reasons. To see Harmony locked away in stone.

To see Harmony ripped out of Celestia's life.

Would he have appreciated the irony?

Golden dustmotes hung suspended in the air, seemingly frozen in time from the glow of the lantern held behind her.

"Who am I?" Celestia said aloud. Lily Bud paused abruptly in her steps behind the princess.

"Your majesty?"

Celestia turned her head slowly to look at her hoofmaiden. Lily Bud gave a small squeak of fright and almost made the fatal mistake of backing away. There was something truly frightening with the smile that seemed to be gouged into the princess’s face.

“Be honest with me, Lily Bud.” Celestia said. The white mare suddenly sat down onto her haunches next to Lily Bud, throwing a foreleg around the smaller mare's body. Lily Bud stared straight ahead, unwilling to risk any movement whatsoever, though she couldn't stop her heart from pounding violently in her chest. Every nerve in her body was screaming at her that something was wrong. So very very wrong. “Who am I?”

Celestia looked down at Lily Bud with a motherly expression, reaching over with her hoof to gently straighten the maid's mane. The yellow mare felt her mouth go dry as her tongue struggled to find the right answer.

“Y-you’re P-P-Princess Celestia…” Lily Bud stammered out. A hoof gently brushed against Lily Bud’s check.

“What am I?” came the breathy question. By now Lily Bud could make no further attempt to keep herself from shaking.

“T-the Royal Sovereign of Everfree, t-the b-b-blessed G-Goddess of the Sun, Ruler of E-Equestria.”

Celestia placed her hoof under the mare’s chin. With a gentle push, Lily Bud was forced to look into the eyes of her god.

“That’s right… I am the sole remaining ruler of Equestria.” Celestia whispered quietly, as though she were talking to herself. There was a distant look in those eyes. “Tell me... the ponies love me, right? My subjects like me as a ruler. You love me, don’t you, Lily Bud?” Celestia urged. The mare gave a small shudder as her name was spoken in a voice of sweet poison. While the voice was exactly the same, Lily Bud could feel something darker in the words. These were not the words of the Princess she served and loved. Lily Bud gave the most sincere smile she could to her monarch and tried to meet Celestia’s stare.

“O-of course your majesty. All your subjects love you, and it is my sole duty to take care and look after you. We… and all of Equestria could not ask for a better ruler.”

Lily Bud’s heart pounded against her chest once, a second, a third time before Celestia droped her hoof and stood back up onto her legs. The crazed smile that had been on her face before had dimmed, replaced by one that seemed almost strained. Lily Bud caught herself from releasing a breath of relief, but managed to take note that her majesty’s hooves were trembling again.

“Tell the royal winery to send up as many bottles of the finest liquor they possess to my chambers." Celestia said, before pausing for a moment. "Also, go to the barracks and direct two of the most able-bodied guards to my chambers as well. I shall need their... protection tonight."

"Of... of course, my queen." Lily Bud bowed deeply, not daring to look her princess in the eye and exited the room as swiftly as she dared.

***

It wasn’t until Celestia heard the clicking of the locks as she shut the doors behind her that she cast the soundproofing spell onto the walls of her bedroom. As the glow of her horn faded, Celestia threw herself onto her onto the surface of her bed, bouncing slightly as the mattress caught her weight. Since the destruction of the Everfree Castle, one of the generals who had served under Celestia during the most recent Dragon War had generously allowed his monarch the use of his manor, and graciously given his and his wife’s own room for Celestia’s personal use. Celestia had greatly appreciated the gesture… and the bed.

The cool silk sheets gently kissed the alicorn’s alabaster skin and feathers as the goddess stretched herself upon them.

The mattress was impossibly soft, yet once under the covers it provided the drowsy warmth that it made it almost impossible to rise in the morning. The feeling was magnificent.

The bed was truly luxurious. Truly fit for a princess.

“The Royal Sovereign of Everfree, the blessed Goddess of the Sun, Ruler of Equestria.”

But not fit for a goddess.

Celestia grabbed a pillow with her hooves and pressed it to her mouth, screaming her heart out into the down. She tried to pour all of her frustration into that muffled scream, just so she could try to get it all out at once. It didn’t work.

With an angry flare of magic, the pillow was ripped asunder, and a blizzard of white feathers rained down around the goddess. She threw the ragged cloth against the headboard. Like an immature foal, Celestia beat her hooves against the bed and sheets, causing loose feathers to plume in the air again as she continued to scream.

Why?

Why her?

Why did she have to be stuck here?

Celestia gasped for breath as her lungs gave out from the scream. The momentary gift of fresh oxygen allowed her other emotions to catch up with her. Everything... just everything was too much.

As the feathers finally settled around her, coating her frame like a gentle layer snow, Celestia felt a peculiar sensation. Her hoof was wet.

The princess looked down closer at it; what seemed to be a few drops of water dotted the appendage. Horrified, Celestia raised it to her eyes to find that they too were beginning to grow moist. This wouldn't do. Celestia couldn't cry. Rulers didn't cry. Goddesses didn't-

The point was suddenly tipped and the princess felt hot, uncontrollable tears rolls down her face. Her once boiling fury gave way to choked sobbing, as the burning in her eyes only grew and grew.

Why?

Why was nopony else crying?

Why was nopony else mourning?

Why was nopony grieving?

Celestia grabbed the tattered remnants of the pillow and hugged the rag close to her chest, burying her muzzle into it to soak up her tears.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry..." Celestia wept the words over and over into it.

"YOUR HIGHNESS!" screamed a frantic voice outside of the carriage. The sound jarred the princess out of her thinking. Celestia turned her head to look outside the carriage once more and her eyes widened in genuine surprise as she saw a ashen-grey pony in dark-blue armor pegasus heading towards the carriage. One of its yellow draconic eyes was swollen shut. Celestia had begun to briefly wonder why the pegasus had not taken to the air. However, as the pony drew closer, the reason became horrifying clear. Rivers of red ichors ran down the pony's flanks, originating from the jagged gouges that had ripped into the membrane of the bat wings.

"Please help me!" the pegasus shouted.

Celestia instantly recognized the pony for what he was. He was one of the Night Watch, one of the members of the Royal Guard that had been tasked with protecting Luna the same way her own white stallions guarded her.

After Luna's disappearance they had all vanished from the city of Everfree. Rumors had spread that they were trying to stage a coup. That out of vengeance, by fall of this year, they would attempt to poison as much of Equestria as they could. An international conspiracy to avenge their fallen princess. It was reported that the remaining leaders of the guard had already dispatched their agents to Prance, Clydesdale, and the Shire province.

But that was all they were at the moment; rumors. Nopony had even seen mane or tail of the guards for the past month.

Until now.

As the injured Night Watchman struggled desperately to reach the carriage, a cacophony of voices and shouts reached the ears of the princess. By the angry orange swarm of lights chasing him, Celestia could make out the pegasus's pursuers. A mob of farmer ponies, complete with pitchforks and torches clenched within their teeth, galloped right on the heels of the injured guard. The intent of murder was reflected in their eyes by the burning flames.

"Demon worshipper!"

"Poisoner!"

"Murdering scum!"

It was all happening too fast.

Celestia could see the mob was swiftly gaining distance, a roar of hooves echoing like thunder in the night around them. The guard's wings dragged uselessly on the ground behind him, painting a crooked trail of blood in his wake. However, Celestia could see a glimmer of hope in the guard's eyes, and for a moment, she knew he thought he was going to make it. Celestia wanted him to make it. Here was proof-- living, breathing, proof that her sister still mattered to one pony. It was a broken, shattered piece of a wonderful memory, but still a piece of one nevertheless. Celestia would accept this one piece of normalcy back with both hooves embracing it. If only she could just get a piece of her sister back, even if this was all the stars would give her.

If he could just reach the carriage...

"We'll kill you, you traitor!"

Celestia's blood chilled as the guard made the fatal mistake of turning his head back to the mob to respond. In a few seconds, everything changed.

"We're innocent!"

The princess watched in building horror as a stone the size of an apple flew from the depths of the crowd, thrown with an accuracy no hoof could match. Somewhere in the throng of bodies there must have been a unicorn. With a resounding crack it smashed into the back of the guard's head. Like a marionette with its strings abruptly cut, the guard crumpled to the ground. His bleeding body slid into the dirt and the dark night swallowed him up. Celestia so desperately tried to look away and shut her eyes to blot out the scene, but her body refused her pleas. Her eyes remained glued on the barbarity. The crowd caught up to the body, still screaming murder, and began to trample it. Celestia watched as dozens of hooves came down on the guard's flesh, stamping it into the dirt and--

Lily Bud then whisked the curtains to the windows of the carriage shut, and Celestia felt the spell broken. Celestia immediately shut her eyes and tried to force what she had just seen to the deepest pits of mind, trying to bury it into submission. She wanted to throw up...

As the carriage sped away, Celestia heard the most horrible thing come out of the mouths of the farmers.

"LONG LIVE THE PRINCESS!"

Celestia felt complete indifference for the mare who sat across from her. If anything, the white alicorn was annoyed. How dare the mare present herself in such a state to a princess such as herself?

The mare looked absolutely miserably. Her eyes were red and swollen, no doubt from what must have been hours of crying, her white face lined with the remnants of her tears. A gilded brush enveloped in the glow of magic ran itself through her pink mane, attempting to remedy its messiness. The nerve to perform such a mundane action in front of a god...

The mirror was suddenly adorned with a spider web of cracks as Celestia threw the hairbrush into the glass. She couldn't stand to see the sight of this pathetic pony anymore. The white alicorn buried her face in her hooves, blocking the visage from her gaze.

She was a princess. A ruler. A god. Over seven centuries worth of knowledge and power... and she couldn't even save one pony. Not even when he came running to her, begging her to save him. Begging her for mercy for crimes she knew he didn't commit.

She had tried to reason that it had all happened too fast. Celestia knew it all happened in under a minute. That there was nothing she could do.

She was a god.

She couldn't even save her sister.

How was she supposed to save this one pony?

With a brief glow of magic, the wooden crate next to her split open, bursting outwards and sending dozens of the golden glass bottles rolling across the floors of her chamber. Celestia greedily pounced on one, holding it possessively in her hooves. She bit down in the cork and with a 'pop,' yanked it out of the bottle with her teeth.

She was a princess. She was the sole ruler. She controlled the sun at day, and now even the moon and stars at night. She had wealth. Power. Servants at her beck and call. The entire kingdom at her disposal. Equestria was hers and hers alone. Her subjects loved her and would even kill for her. She had everything anypony wanted. Everything she could ever want.

Celestia was going to force herself to enjoy it, even if it killed her.

The opening of the bottle pressed up to her lips and Celestia threw her head back, allowing the sweet flavor of mead to wash down her throat. In a few moments, the entire bottle was drained of the golden fluid and dropped to the side, only to be swiftly replaced with another one. Her brain sensed the faintest hint of blackcurrants mixed with the mead before it too was consumed... and another... and another... and another...

Half an hour later, with her mind blurred by the alcohol coursing through her stomach and veins, Celestia pitched her hoof back and threw the final bottle into the fireplace with all her might. It shattered against the brick, sending a rain of glass onto the carpet and a flurry of short-lived sparks flying up the chimney.

The princess rose once more on unsteady legs, almost falling over again as the room spun around her. In a pathetic attempt to place one hoof in front of the other and kicking bottles out of her way, she managed to stagger over to her bed, and collapse onto it... or at least, half-way onto it. With her forehooves draped across the front of the mattress and her haunches squarely on the floor, Celestia didn't have the desire to summon enough of the energy required to pull herself between the sheets.

But she definitely had the desire for another sip of that delicious, smooth honey-mead. The alicorn stared at the corner of her room where another two crates lay stacked on top of each other, each filled with dozens of bottles of the nectar she craved. With a flare of magic, she wrenched one of the crate lids open and levitated another bottle to her hooves.

The royal winery had done well. They had sent the entire stock of their best year to their ruler, and what a good year it was. Celestia had remembered the amiable spring that gave bloom to more flowers than had been seen in living memory. The bees had been particularly active that year, and the honey from which the mead had been brewed from had been particularly sweet that season. To take advantage of the beautiful weather and beauty of the countryside, Luna had surprised Celestia with a picnic there on her birthday and-

The bottle exploded between the princess's hooves. Shards of class cut into her skin, adding drops of crimson to the spray of golden liquor that soaked the bed. Celestia brought her hooves up to her face to lick at the mead between the shards of glass. The salty-iron contrasted sharply with the honey-like taste, but Celestia took no notice of it.

The silken sheets beneath her would be ruined from the spill. But why should she care? She was the princess. She could do as she pleased.

“Imsh such ah baaad pony...”

Celestia hiccupped and tried unsuccessfully to get onto her bed again. She brought her muzzle close to the damp fabric and licked at the bedding, attempting to get more of the alcohol from it. It still wasn’t enough...

There was a sudden knocking at the door, which had barely registered in the alicorn's sloshed brain.

"Who issh zit?" Celestia slurred, pressing the mead-soaked sheet to her mouth.

"Your hoofmaiden, Lily Bud, said that you had requested that two of our number to stand guard for you tonight, your highness, and-"

Without a thought or care to anything else, Celestia threw open to door to her room.

"-we are here... to answer... your... summons..." the guard trailed off as he and his companion took in the state of the room. Furniture was knocked over, a mirror shattered, and dozens of bottles littered the floor. The goddess of the sun laid hanging off her bed, licking at a puddle of mead like a kitten.

Celestia lazily turned to look at them and appraised them with heavily lidded eyes. Both guards were white pegasi stallions dressed in the traditional golden armor the Day Guard boasted. ‘‘How cute... they actually thought they were here to protect me.’’ Both were proportionately muscular, fit, and if their career was any indication, were very... very good at following orders.

They would do.

With a flare of Celestia's horn the door slammed shut behind them and locked into place.

The two guards looked back at the closed door, then to each other, both with obvious expressions of fear in each other's faces. They could scarcely understand what had happened to Celestia and her room before they came in, but she wasn’t herself now... she was something else... the look on her face sent shivers through their bodies as her eyes seemed to pierce like the tip of a spear into each of their souls. Neither guard could move as Celestia gazed at each of them, her grin widening while the sheets on her bed began to slide down by her own magic.

"Oh yesh... I need jou two to protuct meh tonight..."

***

Celestia’s eyes fluttered open as the bright sunlight coming from the bedroom window cruelly scorched her face; at least, that’s what it felt like. The pounding in her head had such intensity that it reverberated throughout her entire body, from her horn all the way down to her hooves. Even the wing which had been finally free of the cursed splint felt sorer than usual this morning. Her blurry vision slowly came back into focus after a few minutes of hung-over amnesia, and it settled on the wood ceiling above her.

With a groan, Celestia sat up in a bed that was most certainly not her own, and was forced to bury her head in her hooves as her head throbbed from the simple motion. Celestia groaned as the migraine took its sweet time to subside.

The room around her was sparsely furnished; she could see grey stone walls and a similarly colored floor, as well as a simple wooden dresser and set of drawers. A pitcher of water and a small bucket were tucked into the corner, next to the bed that Celestia herself lay in. The only other piece of furniture in the room was a cushion next to the bed, on which a yellow mare slept with a blissful look on her face.

The sun-goddess used her magic to lift the blanket off herself and drape it across Lily Bud’s form. The sleeping mare snuggled deeper into her cushion from the comfort, and Celestia carefully attempted to creep out of bed. As the white alicorn placed her forehooves onto the cold, stone floor, however, she instantly knew something was wrong. Pain shot up the front of her forehooves, and she backed up instantly into the bed with a yelp. Biting her lip to silence herself, lest she wake up her hoofmaiden from her well-deserved rest, Celestia examined the bandages that covered her hooves. She didn’t remember having these on last night…

Celestia squinted as beams of sunlight continued to stream through the window. She desperately wished that the room had some sort of curtains that she could yank across. Celestia sighed and sat up against the headboard. She had decided to forgo the attempt of trying to walk out on her hooves. Despite the splitting migraine, nausea, and sore limbs, Celestia felt far more rested than she had in the past month. No doubt it was due to the extra sleep. She would have to thank Luna for raising the sun for her and letting her snooze for another few hour-

Celestia’s felt her throat grow impossibly tight, upon the danger of choking, as a sob escaped her lips. Tears dripped down her face as Celestia sat in the bed wretched, the familiar burn of saline fresh in her irises.

Lily Bud was having such a wonderful dream. Her mind was taking her back to the days when she was a little filly. She was racing through a field of flowers with other young colts and fillies, laughing and chasing butterflies on a warm summer morning. She felt a gentle weight on her, and the pressure brought her out of the slumber.

“Five more minutes, Mama…” Lily Bud murmured drowsily. She smiled in her sleep as her brain registered her mother placing the blanket over her, and buried herself back into her bed. Seconds that felt like eternities clicked by before her mind began to wake and catch up to her senses. Piece by piece, her brain was coming back to terms with reality.

She wasn’t a little filly. She was lying on a cushion. It was winter. But a blanket was draped over her and… was that crying?

Lily Bud’s eyes snapped open immediately and the blanket slid off of her as the mare’s head shot up off of pillow. She looked around for the source. What she saw caused her jaw to drop to the floor.

Princess Celestia was weeping.

“Y-your highness!” Lily Bud squeaked as she scrambled to her hooves. “You’re awake!”

Celestia rubbed her hooves against her eyes in a desperate attempt to wipe away her tears. Though her eyes were still red from crying, the princess tried to smile at Lily Bud, but only succeeded in stretching her mouth into a quivering line.

"Forgive me... for the intrusion." Celestia whispered quietly to Lily Bud. "I've seem to have caused you more trouble than need be."

"What? No! Princess, I'm fine you haven't done anything-" Lily Bud quickly said, before the final word choked in her throat. The mare wanted to finish the sentence. Lily Bud quietly closed her mouth and looked down, setting her haunches down onto the rough floor next to the bed. Lily Bud's chest rose and she took a deep breath, exhaled, and looked Celestia firmly in the eye. "You haven't done anything wrong. Everything has been taken care of in your absence." Lily Bud felt lifeless as she spoke the words. She tried to give Celestia the most reassuring look possible.

The goddess sighed and looked out the window at the manor grounds illuminated in pale yellow light.

"I can't believe I overslept raising the sun..." Celestia said with a distant voice. Lily Bud could see that her eyes were elsewhere, and the mare cleared her throat gently. The noise did the trick and brought Celestia's attention back to her.

"The Arcana Council sends their thanks that you graciously allowed them the honor of raising the sun and the moon in your place as you enjoy your much deserved rest. An honor, they said, that they felt they would never have the chance to receive in their lifetime." Lily Bud recited with as much dignity she could muster. She tried to uphold the straight and sincere face before she broke out into a small giggle. "At least, that's what Starlight told me to tell you."

The corners of Celestia's mouth briefly twitched upwards. "Yes, he always was one for formalit- AND THE MOON?" Celestia said in shock, as her mind acknowledged what Lily Bud had said. This was absolutely unheard of! "Lily Bud, how long have I been out!?"

Lily Bud flinched and hesitantly tapped her hooves together, not meeting the princess's look.

"About... a week."

"A week!"

"What did you expect! You drank enough mead to kill over half the royal guard! Any more and you would have!" Lily Bud retorted unexpectedly. She suddenly gave a small 'meep' and covered her mouth with her hooves.

This was it.

Her life was over.

She had just gone and told off none other than the Princess of Equestria about that. A cold, dark eternity on the moon was all she could expect now.

Lily Bud was surprised when nothing more than a pained look flashed across the princess’s face and her eyes seemed darker than ever. Lily Bud sat as still as a statue, not daring to say or do anything to incur any more of the goddess’s wrath.

It was Celestia who broke the silence first.

"How are the guards?"

Lily Bud lowered her eyes and gulped gently. A chill seemed to hang upon the words that left her mouth which froze her insides solid and left her numb.

"I had the bodies dealt with."

Lily Bud looked back up at her goddess, noticing with some anxiety that her majesty'slimbs were shaking again. Any moment now, she was afraid Celestia would grow angry with her or-

A sudden surge of feeling boiled up in her, and Celestia wailed: "I wanted my sister baaaack!"

She covered her eyes with her hooves and started crying like a lost foal, gasping out deep, heaving, undignified sobs, her usual decorum nowhere to be found.

Lily Bud backed away slightly, profoundly shaken by the sight.

"I missed her. I miss her so much! " Celestia bawled.

"Your highness-"

"No!" Celestia screamed. "Don't call me that! I don't want to hear that ever again!" She wrapped her hooves around her body and hugged herself tightly, rocking back and forth in the bed. "I was wrong! I made a mistake! She was right about everything and I was too stupid to see it." Celestia whispered in a horrified voice.

"She tried to usurp you!" Lily Bud said, trying to desperately to reason with her.

"They never loved her..." Celestia continued to whisper, her irises the size of pinpricks. The tear-streak faced remained lock in a state of terror. "...but they loved me. I thought she was being childish but I was too blinded to see anything. She told me she wanted one day of night so our subjects could admire her night..."

Celestia and Luna stood out on the balcony of their chambers, overlooking the city of Everfree. For now, the bustling city had closed its eyes and slumbered in the darkness. Stores and stalls were closed, hearth fires extinguished and the entire city hung in peaceful silence.

The night was beautiful. More beautiful than Celestia had ever remembered it to be. Moonlight bathed their palace, giving it a surreal glow. Above them, stars moved too slowly to be visible to the naked eye. A meteor streaked through the sky, leaving behind it a trail of light. Celestia smiled to herself at the personal touch her sister had added. She absolutely loved seeing it.

Blissfully unaware that everything going on was being ignored.

Celestia was everything the ponies needed. She was a wise and benevolent ruler, graceful and kindhearted. While both she and Luna had worked tirelessly for centuries to ensure that ponykind prospered, Celestia seemed to receive all the credit. Poor luck of the draw than anything else. Celestia had a stronger relationship with the ponies because they were awake when she ruled. The ponies actually had a chance to interact with her as she raised the sun each morning and listened to their requests in court each day.

They respected Luna as their ruler. But they loved Celestia.

"You did a beautiful job tonight." Celestia whispered to her sister. Luna's eyes shone in the moonlight, dimmed only by her happy smile at her sister's approval.

"Thank you. It's nothing..." Luna said modestly, though the eagerness she was radiating spoke otherwise. A moment of silence passed between the sisters as they gazed up at the stars, the cool night wind flowing gently through Celestia's pink mane. Luna took a deep breath. It was time to ask.

"Tia," Luna began hesitantly. Celestia turned to look at her with a curious expression. "I... was wondering if we could extend the night into tomorrow. Just for another twenty-four hours. We can make it a holiday.”

Luna had sounded so excited, like a foal asking their parents if they could invite their friends over for a sleepover. There was a youthful, energetic sort of eagerness, laced with a thread of hope.

But what happened next caused her smile to be wiped right off her crestfallen face and shatter on the marble balcony with her dream.

Celestia did the worst possible thing.

She tossed her pink-maned head back and laughed.

"I told her no. I told her we could do it some other time, that ponies would be confused and it would cause so much unnecessary trouble if we did it now. That she could have her night a few months from now, once we had everything in order. I rejected her. I laughed in her face. I had no idea how much she was hurting... how much she had hoped for just that one night..."

Celestia let out another sob.

"When she refused to lower the moon, I thought I had to confront her. I thought she was acting immature and she just needed to be talked to. But she told me that I hated her. And that she hated me. We both lost it. I let my temper get the best of me... and now Luna's gone. My only sister is gone." Celestia's teary eyes seemed as wide as the moon.

“But…” Lily Bud whispered, looking ready to cry. She wished she could understand. She almost thought she did. When she was younger, she used to fight all the time with her brothers. It was purely sibling nature. And sometimes when she was mad enough, she had wished she had the power to send her brothers to the moon... or something along those lines.

Nevertheless, she still loved them and would have been heartbroken had anything happened to them.

For Celestia to actually do that though...

"But why the guards... what did they have in all this..." Lily Bud asked as she dabbed her eyes.

"At first... I wanted to enjoy being in power. I didn't want to just work anymore. I wanted to forget being sad. I wanted to enjoy myself." Celestia continued, gritting her teeth and looking like her pain was driving her into a rage. There was a flash of something in her eyes. Was it anger? Grief? "When those farmers... when they killed the Night Watch... he didn't deserve to die... he didn't deserve it..."

Celestia's eyes stared down at the guard with lust, as she tenderly stroked a hoof down his face. Crimson droplets from her hoof smeared across his white face as she caressed him. The white stallion's eyes held nothing more than fear and anguish, his body seemed depleted as if his energy had all been taken away.

"Are yoush enjoying yourshelf my shubject?" Celestia purred drunkenly above him. "Do we make yoush 'appy? Do we please you?"

The guard frightfully looked towards his companion, who lay sprawled across the floor, passed out from exhaustion He could only grimace in pain and look back up silently at his goddess, not daring to answer her.

"Why the silunsh? Doesn't your prinsush make you 'appy? Aren'cha happy with what I do for yoush?" Celestia asked a little louder, irritation sweeping across her face. The guard saw her displeasure and couldn't keep himself from in fright under her. "Are yoush afraid of meh?" Celestia asked with a scowl. The hardened soldier, who had been trained to fight dragons and griffons, whimpered.

"Why are you not 'appy?" Celestia scowled. "Can't yoush appreshate everydink we've done?" The guard's eyes shot open as the Princess's hooves came down on him. They pressed against his windpipe, effectively cutting off his air supply. "Don't yoush luffs ush?" Only a choked gurgle came out from his lips as he tried to gasp for breath. "We luffs all of our subjecks. We do." His hooves beat weakly against the Princess's and he struggled to escape her grasp. But she kept him firmly locked into place. "Didn't yoush luff her?" Still, only silence remained from the guard, his face growing purple. "You didn't?" Celestia asked, her faced furious. "Why didn't yoush luff her?" She shook the guard, pressing him down against the mattress. "Why not? WHY?"

There was a sudden crack and Celestia threw the guard against the bed again. The guard’s neck was twisted to a horrible angle. Even though Celestia continued to press against his throat, he made no further sounds.

After a few minutes of frustrated silence, Celestia pulled herself off him and reached for another bottle of mead.

"They love me for banishing my sister. They praise me when I should be punished. They adore me for raising their sun. My little ponies are erasing every memory of Luna in my name when I am mourning her." Celestia closed her eyes, relishing the sound of her next words as they came out. "I wanted somepony, anypony, to hate me. To be terrified of me. And when I had him under my hooves and he finally stopped breathing, I liked it..."The voice came out as a rasp, and when Celestia opened her eyes again, Lily Bud had sworn that for a single instant, the tourmaline irises had changed to crimson and the pupils narrowed to slits.

But then the mare blinked, and the princess seemed just as she was before.

Lily Bud felt her mouth run dry, her tongue glued to her the roof of her mouth. How was she to respond? How could anypony possibly respond to that?

The princess just sat there shaking, her lips quivering as she poured her heart out to her hoof maiden.

She wasn't supposed to cry.

She wasn't supposed to show weakness.

She was suppose to be a prin-

"I don't want it!" Celestia screamed. With both hooves she ripped the golden tiara from her forehead, tearing out several pink strands of hair along with it. She threw the headpiece against the far wall, wanting to get it as far away from her as possible. The precious stones set within the regalia cracked on impact against the unyielding stone. A rain of jewel shards flashed in the sunlight before they tinkled to the ground, the crown clanging against the floor an instant later.

"I don't want to be a princess!" Celestia shouted, climbing out of the bed. It mattered not that her hooves screamed in pain as she pressed them down onto the stone floor, standing on her own four legs. Lily Bud tried to restrain her, but was easily pushed to the side. "I don't want to rule Equestria!" Celestia's nostrils flared as she reared and brought her hooves up over the diadem. "I don't want to raise the sun!"

There was a lightning bolt of pain as Celestia brought her hooves down onto the tiara. Celestia ground her teeth and let her fury dull it for her. The soft gold bent under her blow. The bandages on her hands became speckled with dots of blood as she stomped on the ornament over and over.

"I JUST-"

Stomp.

The center amethyst was forced from its setting, splitting into purple slivers.

"-WANT MY-"

Stomp.

Part of the gold head band was snapped off.

"-LUNA!"

Stomp.

The upper portion was flattened.

Celestia felt a weight suddenly press up against her as Lily Bud's forehooves wrapped around her midsection. At first, Celestia wanted to throw the yellow mare off her. Maybe even send her crashing into the stone wall like she did the crown and stomp on her. Make her scream. See those pretty brown eyes widen in terror. Celestia wanted to feel the hoof maiden break under-

Celestia’s heart wrenched as she felt Lily Bud’s warm body press up against her.

Not this one.

Not this one.

The white alicorn wrapped her hooves around the smaller mare and returned the hug, burying her face into Lily Bud's chest. Lily Bud whispered small words of comfort, gently stroking the princess's back as they embraced.

"Equestria needs you," the mare murmured. Her eyes flicked briefly to the mangled, ruined crown beneath them. "Don't forget her. Keep all those emotions. Your hatred and sorrow… they are yours to control. All you have to do is turn them into strength, and use that strength to move Equestria forward." Lily Bud pleaded.

She tried to meet Celestia's eye.

"As your hoof maiden, I live to serve you. If it's your wish, I will follow you everywhere. Even if your throne crumbles and your tiara turns to rust. Beside you as you lie in peace, and bearing your shield in war, I swear I will be with you. Forever and always. Until I hear you say the words 'I'm happy.'"

Celestia could only nod, her dry eyes all the thanks she could give the mare.

She had no more tears to give.

***

Lily Bud failed to uphold her oath.

Forty years after the banishment of the vile Nightmare Moon, who tried to overthrow Equestria with eternal night, the elderly hoof maiden to the sun goddess Celestia passed away in her sleep to run in greener pastures.

She was be succeeded by her granddaughter, Orchid.

The ruler of Equestria stood tall before the young purple mare, her golden tiara poised perfectly amid the strands of pink mane. Celestia stood stoically as her new hoof maid knelt before her goddess and took the oath her grandmother had spoke years before.

"As your hoof maiden, I live to serve you. If it's your wish, I will follow you everywhere. Even if your throne crumbles and your tiara turns to rust. Beside you as you lie in peace, and bearing your shield in war, I swear I will be with you. Forever and always."

Celestia gracefully accepted the lie and gave the young Orchid her first royal task: Tell the royal winery to send up as many bottles of the finest liquor they possessed and two of the most able-bodied guards to her highness's chambers.

Comments

[That_one_guy]

....No words I can offer could possibly do what you have written justice. Just... Holy shit. Holy shit.

[Diamond Sparkle]

I feel sorry for Celestia in a way, she must miss Luna so much.

[Legacy55]

Absolutely amazing. I don't think I've ever read something so powerful.

[Jenga_Jane]

I loved this. All of it. It showed such a dark side of Princess Celestia that I would never have even imagined on my own. And the entire story contains so much poetic imagery and emotions that I just...wow. Thank you.

[Dishonest]

Each section of this story are all powerfully written and rich with emotions and imagery, but carry themselves with distinctively different tones. Fantastic piece of writing.

[Reader Wolf]

Holy s**t. Holy damn it all to holy f**king s**t.

I...I think I need to go lie down. That was just...yikes.

[preaplanes]

Wow, that was exactly the tragic piece I was looking for. Well, more philosophical for Discord, but that's splitting hairs, and that was a fun kind of philosophical.

Boredom, loneliness, regret. Yes, I think that sums up those three nicely. Of course I doubt we'll get these themes this strongly in the actual show, a bit too dark and deep for the target demographic, but this is exactly what I think of when I think of them.

Seriously, why isn't this more viewed than it is?

[Eden]

This make me sad

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_loq54aspQN1qg9kht.gif

[AhopelessEndevor]

I feel this is grossly unrecognized, it should have over 600 likes instead of a mere 32.

[Luna-Eclipse]

Fucking incredible!!

[Bree R]

Wow. Celestia's was the best by far and the other two were fantastic work too. Amazingly nice work here.

[mrmayortheiv]

I thought all of these were fantastic, Luna's was clearly the best and most emotional, particularly the ending, I mean wow... but the others were great too, I thought the night guard was a nice touch

[an1979]

This is effing good story.
Nuff said.

[huh]

135749 LOL, you think?

This needs WAY more views. So great.

[Unbridled Dolly]

Is there a sequel or epilogue in the works?

[Starlight Nova]

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

[Starlight Nova]

115971 What is the name of that story?