• Member Since 22nd Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

StormHoof32


A writer who enjoys putting a smile on peoples faces. If a story makes you smile, I've done my job. :)

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Dash has always wanted to join the wonderbolts, but nopony has ever asked why. Dash wants to join for two reasons, 1: its the wonderbolts! 2: She wants to get closer to spitfire.

But what Dash doesn't realize, is that Spitfire has a massive crush on the Cyan Pegasus.

If only they knew.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 105 )

This got potential. I would however love a bit longer chapters. :twilightsmile:
Tracking

Good stuff. I'll look for more of this one. And to echo the comment above, the chapters still seem a bit rushed. A little more thoroughness would be nice.

This has a lot of potential, but it is extremely rushed. Flesh out your ideas more. Don't jump from scene to scene so abruptly. I will keep an eye on this in the hopes that it evolves into the story I think it can be. Keep working hard, and I think you have the potential to become a good author.

Gotta agree with HuskSummers on this. Ah see some great work here, just needs a little spit 'n polish

Hmmm... Either I read it very fast or it was very fast paced. Good potential though, liking the storyline.

I love DashFire.

SO MUCH SHIPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It would be good, but Spitfire X Nuclear weapons are mah OTP. Sorry.

I loved this, especially because it was SpitDash/DashFire! :heart: Also, this thing is on a fast increase of likes, it changed from 13 to 16 just when I clicked on the link, so I shall say "inb4featured".

Can't wait for more soon! I hope future chapters are really long and strung out! :pinkiehappy:

The sheer amount of cute in that cover picture makes me want to read the story. Romance/shipping is hardly in my repertoire, but I have flagged this one to read later.

TRACKED!!

I also find this oddly relative to the story :twilightsmile:

As expected this looks good and even better non pinkie/dash ship which makes it even better!!

Thank you to everyone for your commenhts chapters will be longer i promise!!!

I'll try to remember to comment in more detail when I get home from work later. But just giving this a quick look over my lunch break I think you've got a lot of potential (cause DashFire is best ship) but I think you're moving way too quickly. The idea that Dash and Spits knew each other in their younger years is an interesting idea, but the whole "I'm secretly in love with her" angle is very overplayed. Same with the pinkie thing, they both just come out of nowhere and seemingly don't matter much.

I'll keep an eye on this, though I would encourage you to take your time and do some character and world building. Flesh out the relationships so it doesn't look so much like "two strangers see each other and fall in love."

please, continue =3:rainbowkiss:

"The next morning, Rainbow awoke and headed to Sugarcube Corner so she could tell all her friends about her being excepted to the Wonderbolts."
*accepted :twilightsheepish:

1651864 yes thank u, i caught that, i will fix it. lol. :twilightsheepish:

The two energetic ponies had nothing to do but wait for their friends to arrive. But, before their friends made it there Pinkie pulled Rainbow into her room quickly.
"Dashie, I have always wanted to tell you something." She said, catching Rainbow off guard.
"Uh-" Was all Dash could say before Pinkie kissed her fully on the lips.
Dash's heart stopped as she tried to grasp what was happening. Then Pinkie broke the kiss.
"Dashie, I love you, more than anything ever!" she said smiling.

images.wikia.com/dragonage/images/2/2a/Anchorman-well-that-escalated-quickly.jpg
Went by pretty fast too.
Still, great story so far! Can't wait for the next chapter!

1655465 i'm in the middle of writing the next chapter as we speak. Im at 500 words, and im only a quarter of the way done with the chapter.

1655557

Aww... If only I could sped up time... I guess I'll sleep in a ice locker...

Three errors in the description:
Spitfire is capitalized.
Cyan and Pegasus, (I know what your spell check says about 'pegasus' , it's wrong), are not capitalized.
Not bad though.

1660183 thanks. I tried pretty hard on the second chapter. I wanted it to be good.

the pinkie pie fluttershy and the applejack rarity relationship thing was a surprise but very good job

Muhaha Ship all the ponies! :pinkiehappy: :yay:
:duck::ajsmug:

Winning at its finest my good friend and I cant wait for more.

Sunset at ten o'clock? :trixieshiftright:
I find that romantic situation a little too forced :trixieshiftleft:
Unless the sun in your country rise in the early afternoon that is :unsuresweetie:

Good chapter!
Although, if I could make a suggestion, maybe you could put a border whenever switching perspectives, like a ~ or - or even _ and perhaps =.
Is that 10:30 PM or AM? Either way that seems a tad unrealistic, but one much more than the other. prehaps you meant sunrise?

:yay: yay

Anyway, still feeling a bit fast paced. Getting better and better though.

1662872 nope meant sunset, it's 10:30 pm. Sun sets late here where I live.

1664312 your very much welcome. :twilightsmile:

Awwww... I slept in my ice freezer to long....
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maebxcu61c1rwvqgko8_250.png
Time to go back and read it..

images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110425031639/halofanon/images/6/65/Meme_-_Grammar_Nazi.png
im pleased to announce i didnt find any major spelling errors
and only a few(by few i mean 1 or 2) sentence structure flaws(like i actually care about grammar, im just doing this cuz i found this awesome picture)

;( B... but i wiked dis fic ;(

Best one in ages man, YOU CAN'T LEAVE US! DON'T LEAVE U-U-UUSSSSSS!!!!!! :fluttercry:

[img]file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Matthew%20Brewis/My%20Documents/My%20Pictures/15yqyq.gif[/img]

This is certainly an interesting fic, im looking forward to reading more chapters.
Also i loved the idea of having the first chapter as a dream to explain the pace, this one has much better pacing.
I shall be watching :rainbowdetermined2:

1661044 Thanks for the comment. lol. Nice addition of a sheen quote. lol.

I like it. I eagerly await the next chapters.

1697860
Me too I can't wait for more:twilightsheepish:

1644669

well my cpu said i was so SHRUB!!!!!!!!!!!! u mad bro?!

1644669

I KNOW I CANT STAND IT :fluttercry::fluttershbad: MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice update! I liked it! Great timing, but I feel a bit more description could be added into it. I love the layout too. You're reaching that potential this story always had.

Also, Y U LEEVE ME ON ROTATING CAR? Rotating cars are lots of questions and a slight cliff hanger.

Comment posted by StormHoof32 deleted Dec 11th, 2012
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