The Apprentice, the Student, and the Charlatan

by Rytex

Interlude

The Apprentice, the Student, and the Charlatan
Interlude

Piece of Cake (part 1)

Sometimes a mare just needed to let her mane down and enjoy the simpler things in life. Not always, naturally, especially for one as refined and cultured as her, but sometimes.

Rarity always prided herself on enjoying the best things in life. For instance, she only accepted the best, well-crafted gems for her work, she very much enjoyed singing with the local quartet the Ponytones, and she made sure to frequent a very high-class establishment in Canterlot whenever she was there.

But sometimes, a mare as elegant and refined as her simply needed a change of scenery.

“Evenin’, Rares,” Hearty Brew greeted cheerfully as Rarity strode into Ponyville’s resident pub, the Poisoned Apple.

Even in this change of scenery, she only enjoyed the best. There was no better alcohol-artist as a Brew. From the Castle Pub in Canterlot to some other pub in Neighton, the Brew family were almost as, if not just as influential and widespread as the Apples.

Rumor had it they even had their own city, called Brewmen in Germaney. Rumor also had it that every Brew was required to make a pilgrimage there at least once in their life, to learn the secret of how to make the best beverages from some mysterious Elders or some such.

Really, rumors can get so out of hoof.

Hearty’s mane was a wavy brown, and his coat was the bright golden color of the beer he made. His eyes were also a rich brown, and as a cutie mark, he had a full tankard with bright white foam at the lip.

“Good evening, Mr. Brew,” Rarity inclined her head briefly at him as she confidently walked to a barstool. “How is everything tonight?”

“Going well, so far,” Hearty smiled pleasantly at her. “And please, just call me Hearty.”

“A lady never uses first names in a public setting, Mr. Brew. It isn’t proper,” she replied.

“But does a lady not refuse a polite request from a gentlestallion she knows well?” Hearty arched a playful eyebrow at her.

Rarity grinned roguishly. “Too true. Very well, Hearty, I shall indulge you.”

“As you say, Rares,” Hearty smirked at her, before turning around and heading over to the alcohol cabinet. “Not often I have you in here. What can I make for you?”

“An apple sgroppino, if it pleases you.”

Hearty frowned for a moment. “Apple sgroppino, eh? Apple sorbet, vodka, and prosecco, correct?”

“That is correct, Hearty,” Rarity smiled sweetly at him from her stool, even as he started pulling down the necessary ingredients. “You do know your beverages. How often are you called upon to make that particular number?”

“This will be my first time, matter of fact,” Hearty replied, already mixing the prosecco and vodka in even amounts into a champagne flute. “It’s a slow night, as you can see, and it gives me time to experiment, so I do appreciate the break from monotony.”

“Will the Council be sitting in tonight?” Rarity asked. It amused her to no end that fellow Ponytone Big Macintosh had started a bachelor club. It amused her even more that they had embraced the name “the Council of Gentlestallions” after Applejack had poked fun at it.

“No word from Big Mac and the others, but who knows?” Hearty shrugged. “Sometimes they just pop in.”

*pop*

“I know exactly what you mean!” chirped somepony as they appeared right behind Rarity. But, surprised though she was, Rarity did not act as though this were unexpected. After all, a lady does not spit out all of her drink at any moment short of poison or seeing your friend having the gall to wear mismatched colors that don’t go together at a formal event.

But all that composure went out the window when she felt a hoof grab her by the shoulder and lightly spin her around in her stool a full 360 degrees.

“Raaaaarity, it’s been way too long!” the same mare chirped as she fell onto a stool next to her. Rarity stopped the spin, sputtering as the liqueur went down the wrong pipe, and glared at the newcomer, a mint-green mare with short hair and an equally-minty mane and tail.

“Miss Heartstrings, actions like that are precisely why it’s been so long in the first place,” she growled, her earlier coughing ruining the effect.

“So,” Lyra ignored the brusque retort, “what’s got you out here in the Poisoned Apple? I thought a joint like this would be beneath you.”

“It normally is,” Rarity replied, before hastily adding, “No offense, Hearty.”

“None taken, Rares, Hearty Brew replied, inclining his head as he set several glasses up on a rack to air-dry.

“But several days ago, as I’m sure you must have heard,” she scowled, “that thrice-damned unicorn Nova Shine destroyed a rather important possession of mine.”

“Oh?” Lyra arched an eyebrow. “What was it?”

“A vase,” Rarity growled, the mere memory of it making her angry. “A very expensive vase.”

“Really?” Lyra asked, spinning herself around in her stool. “How much was it?”

“I… don’t know,” Rarity admitted. “It was a gift from when I visited Canterlot after the Discord incident. Blueblood gave it to me as an apology for his behavior at the Gala we attended.”

“So how do you know it was valuable?” Lyra asked, before she snatched a random pint of beer from further down the table.

Rarity rolled her eyes.

“It’s really quite simple. I--”

And then she cut off. Wait a minute, this was Blueblood! The same stallion who had spent the whole Gala evening complaining about her friends! Why would he have gifted her a priceless vase?

Her eyes narrowed, and they immediately sought out Lyra, who winked at her as she chugged from her tankard.

“How dare you insinuate--”

“I never said anything about it not valuable, I just asked how you knew,” Lyra set the tankard down with a thunk, and wiped the moustache of foam that had been left on her upper lip with one of those strange magic five-digit “hands” that she liked to conjure. “You’re the one who’s getting all angry-eyes over there.”

Rarity could only let out a growl at that, which seemed to amuse the mint-green mare.

“As it happens, I’ve got some beef with Nova too.” She took another long drink, before setting it down with another thud. “He blew up my house.”

“I seem to recall, he cast the spell perfectly,” Rarity replied icily. She had seen the spell of Lyra’s. It had been a rather noticeable going-on of that morning. “It was meant to cause an explosion.”

“NO IT WASN’T!” Lyra glared at Rarity. “That was a perfectly good anthromorphization spell. It was going to turn me into a human.”

“Putting your obsession with those mythical bipeds aside,” Rarity rolled her eyes, “I do believe that was meant to be a rather malicious prank at your expense, Miss Heartstrings.”

Lyra sighed, before taking another long draught from her tankard.

“But as it happens,” Rarity smiled devilishly, “we both appear to have an issue with Twilight’s dear coltfriend.”

“What, you want him for yourself?” Lyra asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, heavens no!” Rarity chuckled. “He’s nowhere even near the stallion of my dreams. I mean, who even takes hoofball that seriously?”

“How serious we talking?” Hearty asked from his station, where he was polishing one of his display bottles.

“He was running down the street screaming like a maniac after a goal not long after he moved into the library,” Rarity recalled the incident. It had taken them hours to calm the Flower Sisters down, as they feared an impending attack.

“Oh yeah, I remember that!” Hearty grinned. “Arsenal scored a last-minute winner to secure the Community Shield against Manechester United. A hell of a goal, that was. No one expected Pear Mertesaddler to get that. Defenders don’t score that many goals.”

Rarity made it a point to tune Hearty out as he continued on about whatever the Community Shield was.

“Anyway,” she turned back to Lyra, “I happen to have an idea at how the two of us can get back at him for the headaches he’s caused.”

She smiled mischievously.

“That is, if you’re interested.”

“Count me in,” Lyra grinned back. “So, how’s this going down?”

---

Afternoon Tea

“Here’s your cock!”

Sharp Eye opened his wing and let the little white chicken fall out of it and onto the ground next to all the other chickens. Said chicken didn’t seem to mind, and immediately tottered on over to pick at the feed with the others.

Fluttershy, however, blinked several times as her face went a very bright shade of red in about three seconds.

“No, wait, sorry,” Sharp Eye rubbed his head sheepishly, “you call them ‘roosters’ here. Forgot.”

“Umm, Elizabeak is a hen,” Fluttershy put forth timidly, hiding her face behind her pink mane so that Sharp Eye couldn’t see her blush. “Hens are plain. Roosters have the plumage on top of their heads.”

Now it was Sharp Eye’s turn to blink stupidly.

“Right,” he said, rubbing all the harder. “Honest mistake.”

“It’s fine. I have your payment, i-if you’ll come inside for a moment,” she said, before whipping herself around and practically bolting indoors, leaving Sharp Eye rather flummoxed. But then again, after a few months of living here, he had heard enough about Fluttershy to know that this seemed rather normal.

So he followed her into her home.

It was a rather nice place, with plenty of furniture, and a lot of animals. He didn’t like the look that rabbit was giving him, though, and made a mental note to ask Fluttershy what it’s problem was.

*thunk*

“Whoa!”

Fluttershy poked her head out of her kitchen, startled by the noise, and when she saw what its cause was, she let out a gasp and scrambled outside.

“Ohmigoodnessareyoualright!?”

Sharp Eye had fallen sideways as he had attempted to stretch his wings, only now discovering that one of them had turned to stone.

“What the buck…” Sharp Eye muttered, looking at it with distaste, seemingly only mildly inconvenienced by the fact that one of his wings had suddenly turned to stone.

“Did you run into a cockatrice in the Everfree Forest?” Fluttershy asked, positively zooming around her house as fast as she could, looking for something. At her current speed, she could give Rainbow Dash a run for her bits.

“Now that you mention it, yeah,” Sharp Eye thought back to the bugger. “It’s currently a sitting statue in the forest now.”

Fluttershy paused in her search to give him a weird look. “How?”

“Easy,” Sharp Eye smirked, holding up his non-petrified wing, which had a silvery sheen on it. “I asked your friend Twilight about the forest before I ran in, and she warned me about it. So I had her coat my wings with this reflective resin. It caused the cockatrice’s stare to get reflected right back at it.”

He looked down at his stone wing.

“Doesn’t look like it’s a flawless solution though.”

Fluttershy continued her search at that. Sharp Eye, however, started rummaging in the deep green vest he was wearing for something.

“Hang on, Miss Fluttershy, if you’re looking for something for my wing, I have something for it already.”

“You do?” Fluttershy paused again, before trotting over. “What pocket is it in?”

“Right here,” Sharp Eye grunted, pulling out a needle that appeared to be made of gold. “Gold Needles are perfect for petrification. I need you to stick it in my stone wing, pointy-end first.”

Fluttershy went pale. “A-are you sure? That looks like it could hurt.”

“Won’t hurt at all,” Sharp Eye assured her, holding out the gold needle. “It dissipates when used.”

“W-well, alright then,” she gulped nervously. “I-if you’re sure.”

With a quivering hoof, she took the gold needle from Sharp Eye, nearly dropping it in her nervousness, and with an even shakier hoof, held it up to the stone wing.

Sharp Eye was almost amused at the fifteen seconds it took for her to steady her hoof.

“Just push it in,” he instructed. The wing joint was getting a bit sore from holding up the stone appendage.

“W-w-will it hurt you?” Fluttershy asked again, just to make sure.

“Not at all,” Sharp Eye repeated. “Just shove it on in.”

“W-well, alright then. On three.”

She took a deep breath. “One… two… three!”

She shoved the gold needle as hard as she could into the stone.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”

Fluttershy shrieked and leapt backward away from Sharp Eye, even as Sharp Eye’s scream dissolved into laughter as the stone around his wing fell apart from the point where the needle had punctured it, giving way to a whole and unharmed wing underneath.

“Y-y-you… that wasn’t funny!” Fluttershy yelled at him. “You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“S-s-sorry, “Sharp Eye wiped a tear from his eye as he chortled. “Just… couldn’t resist. Won’t happen again.”

Fluttershy simply glared at Sharp Eye for a long moment, but then for some reason, she tried to stifle a giggle, and before long, she was laughing with him.

Sharp Eye’s earlier self-shame had given way to genuine amusement. Something about the way Fluttershy laughed was able to make him smile more than Pinkie’s best joke.

But it was Fluttershy. If anyone didn’t like Fluttershy, there was something seriously wrong with them. In his own personal opinion, of course.

Nothing wrong with appreciating the gentler things in life, he thought.

“Oh, excuse me,” Fluttershy’s cheeks grew pink for a moment, and she dashed back into the kitchen.

“Everything alright?” Sharp Eye asked, stretching his newly-freed wing and cracking the joints that had been stiffened for the last few minutes.

“Oh, yes,” came Fluttershy’s voice. “Just.. umm… just finishing something.”

“Eh?”

Finishing something? Finishing what? She wasn’t going to pay him in IOUs was she?

But his question was answered when she came out with a tea tray balanced on a wing. Her teapot was covered with a tea cozy the same color as her coat, with her pink butterflies knitted into it, and a pair of white teacups, which she set down on a table close by, before grapping the pot in her mouth by the handle and pouring into both cups.

Damn, wish I could do that, Sharp Eye thought. He could face down a cockatrice, get a stone wing without flinching, and do all manner of dangerous tasks, but what he wouldn’t give to be able to balance things on his wings. It would certainly be incredibly useful.

“How do you like your tea?” she asked. “Sugar? Lemon? Cream or milk?”

“A little bit of sugar, but not much,” Sharp Eye, trotting over and taking a seat on a pouf. This was all rather strange. Why was she offering him tea, exactly?

She retreated for a moment, and returned with a sugar jar, which she drew from with a small spoon and stirred it into his cup, all while he watched rather bewildered.

“Erm, not to sound rude or ungrateful,” he hesitated for a moment, hoping not to offend the poor mare, “but why are you serving me tea, exactly?”

“Oh, umm…” she went a little red, “can’t a m-mare just show some gratit-t-tude for a bounty hunter saving her chickens?”

Was she suddenly scared now? This was definitely rather strange.

Well, I guess as a bounty hunter, I can be a scary pony, he thought.

Shame the cockatrice hadn’t agreed with that thought. Unfortunately, now it was going to be spending its time as a garden ornament of Zecora’s. Assuming she noticed it.

“In my line of work, ponies just give me the gold and be done with it, but…” Sharp Eye sniffed as the pleasant aroma of Fluttershy’s many flowers mixed with the smell of the tea, “...I suppose I could stay for a few minutes.”

She beamed, and there was a strange sort of *squee* sound.

Welp, there’s the most adorable thing I’m going to see all day.

Chuckling to himself, he took a seat at her table as she did as well.

“Alright then,” he said, stretching his wings again to keep the joints nice and exercised, “if I may be so bold, Miss Fluttershy, can I ask you to tell me the truth with all of this?”

“Wh-what do you mean ‘the truth?’” Fluttershy asked, her earlier blush returning, and now attempting to hide behind her bangs.

“Ponies don’t just make tea for bounty hunters after their contract’s up,” Sharp Eye stated, before taking a sip of his. “I’d even be willing to discount you for being a particularly special case, but it still came rather out of nowhere.”

“Oh, umm…” she tapped her hooves together awkwardly and tried to hide even more.

“I mean,” Sharp Eye shrugged, “it’s a nice gesture, and you don’t have to tell me why, but it’s still a bit odd/ Normally I’ve only ever seen ponies do this when--”

He stopped as the implication hit him. Shyer than usual. Extra-pleased that he was staying around. An excuse to talk to him and get to know him more.

“...you’ve got to be kidding me,” he whispered as it set in.

“Umm… what?” Fluttershy asked.

“Miss Fluttershy, did you put all this on to try and ask me on a date?”

The moment he said “date,” Fluttershy’s face went so pink, she could have become Ponyville’s Premier Party Planning Pony (with some added alliterative appeal). And there it was. He had found the answer.

“...m-maybe…” she now was trying so hard to not meet his eyes.

Far from upset about it, Sharp Eye chuckled.

“Gotta admit, this is the most unorthodox way somepony has asked me on a date,” he smiled. “Don’t feel embarrassed, Miss Fluttershy. Just want to ask, though, why me of all ponies? Why not Macintosh Apple, or any of the other stallions around town?”

“I, er… never really…” she trailed off, her blush intensifying. “Except for Thunderlane, but…”

Sharp Eye tried to picture Thunderlane. Charcoal coat, mohawk… yeah, that was him. But if he recalled correctly, that particular stallion had a thing with one of those twin pegasi. Was it Cloudflitter? Cloud Kicker? Something with cloud in it.

“So why me, then?” he asked. “How old are you?”

“Um… 26.”

“Ah,” Sharp Eye leaned back a bit. He had been expecting her to be much closer to the other Bearers of Harmony in age. Twilight was the youngest of them at 22, with Rainbow Dash only a few months older, but the others were all 23 to 24.

“Well, unfortunately,” the word came with a bit of sourness to it, “I think I’m a little outside of your dating range.”

“What… what do you mean?”

“I’m 36 myself,” Sharp Eye shrugged. “You’re ten years younger than me. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that my line of work is bounty hunting. Little dangerous for you, don’t you think?”

Fluttershy tapped her hooves together awkwardly again as she looked away.

And then the realization hit Sharp Eye like a carriage in Manehattan.

“Wait, you’re not attracted to dangerous types, are you?”

Fluttershy didn’t answer, and Sharp Eye inwardly sighed.

“Of course you are,” he ran a hoof through his mane. “Explains why you and Discord are such good friends. And why you like Thunderlane.”

“A-and you,” she mumbled.

At the rate she was turning red, she might singlehoofedly discover completely new shades of it.

“Listen,” he hated to do this to her, he really did, “I’m flattered. Really, I am, but something tells me I’m not the stallion for you.”

It was then that Fluttershy-- quiet, sweet, demure Fluttershy-- did something Sharp Eye never would have seen coming.

She said something bold.

“If your only reasons for saying that are because you’re ten years older than me and you work a job as a bounty hunter,” she said, sounding quite frank about it, “then it sounds to me like those are just your excuses for saying no, rather than actual objections because you are nervous about entering into a relationship.”

Sharp Eye could only stare at her. Did she just… did she just psychoanalyze him?

She, however, simply sipped at her tea, quite unconcerned with Sharp Eye’s total bewilderment.

“What the… what the buck was that?” he finally managed to get out.

“Hmm,” she glanced down into her cup, “I guess those lessons from Iron Will did help out.”

“What the buck was that?” he asked, only further confused.

“Sorry,” and like that, she was back to normal Fluttershy. “It’s just… do you know how long I’ve been wanting to… er, make a move?”

“...can’t say I do,” Sharp Eye shook his head, still more than a little stunned.

“I’ve been asking Rarity for advice,” she wouldn’t meet his gaze now, “but could never work up the courage to approach you directly, so when Elizabeak ran off, I just thought it would be the perfect opportunity and now you’re right here, and I’m running on adrenaline, and I’m nervous again andI’mgettingaheadofmyselfbecauseIsuddenlyrealizedwhatIsaidpleasedon’thateme!”

That shook Sharp Eye out of it.

“Whoa, whoa, calm down,” he held up his hooves to placate her. “I’m just… okay, this just seemed to come completely out of left field, so you’ll understand if I’m more than a little bewildered by all of this.”

“Like I said,” she was taking measured breaths now, no doubt trying to regain the confidence she’d had moments ago. “I’ve wanted to approach you, but never had a good opportunity.”

“Fair point,” he shrugged. “Not to mention, with everything happening around Nova and Twilight, and my job to keep an eye on Nova, I guess it makes a bit of sense that I wouldn’t notice.”

He sighed.

“Alright, what you said earlier, about me only using those two arguments as excuses,” he took a drink from his cup of tea, “it, ah, well, it hits a bit too close to home.”

“How so? Is that a bad thing?” He wasn’t a fan of how defensive she got when she said that.

“No, no, not a bad thing,” he held up another hoof to stop her. “Just… I dated a filly in Neigh Zealand for a while. Things were a bit serious, but then Ray Novus came calling. I accepted his contract offer, but went back to visit a few months later after time went by and I hadn’t found young Nova.”

His mouth scrunched, as though he had eaten something sour.

“Turns out she had gone behind my back with some bloke she’d met while I was gone. So yeah,” he smiled humorlessly, “more than a bit nervous about this. Still,” he shrugged, “this is you we’re talking about, and everyone knows you’d never do something like that under any circumstance.”

She smiled bashfully at the praise.

“So, what the hell, let’s give it a try.”

Her bashful smile was gone. Now, she was positively beaming.

“But we’re gonna do this properly,” he continued, giving her a stern, yet somewhat playful look. “A proper night out, dinner and a movie or something. None of this sort of skulduggery, alright? And no more being afraid to tell me something to my face. If you want to be my mare, you need to be able to talk to me, alright?”

“I’ll… I’ll try,” she promised, but that didn’t diminish her smile at all. She was still beaming at him, and even humming something to herself.

Hell, even the rabbit wasn’t giving him evil looks any more. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

“Alright then. I’ll make all the arrangements and get back to you. Sound fine?”

“Sounds perfect,” Fluttershy darted over and gave him a quick hug.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Sharp Eye gave her a quick hug back before gently pushing her off. “We don’t know how far this’ll go. But that’s the point of dating, isn’t it?”

“Makes me wonder what took Twilight and Nova this long,” Fluttershy replied, glancing out a window and back toward town. “Twilight just couldn’t stop telling us about it at our weekly spa appointment. Rainbow Dash owed Pinkie thirty bits, since it was Twilight who asked Nova, and not the other way around.”

“No idea,” admitted Sharp Eye. “Especially considering those two are just made for each other. Still, hopefully you and I work even half as well as they do, eh?”

In response, she did that same little squee-smile, and that alone eased any qualms he was having.

No telling what the future held, but it was better to give Fluttershy try and have them fall apart than to never try at all and miss out.

---

Piece of Cake (pt. 2)

“Gotta say, this is a refreshing change of pace,” Nova sighed as he took a seat at Rarity’s tea table.

“Believe me, darling, the feeling is quite mutual,” Rarity assured him as she went to retrieve the kettle. “I was getting rather tired of our… for want of a better word, ‘rivalry.’ I felt that, after everything you and Twilight had been through over the last few weeks, it was high time we bury the hatchet.”

She paused and blinked, looking a bit confused for a moment.

“Where is Twilight, anyway? She disappeared yesterday after your little training session without telling us where she was headed.”

“She’s off to Canterlot,” Nova shrugged. Rarity disappeared from view, but he continued. “Said something about needing to ask the princesses something face-to-face, and wanted to visit family. Should be back in a couple of days.”

“Of course, of course,” Rarity returned, carrying with her a black teapot covered by a white tea cozy with her usual blue diamonds knitted into it, two mugs, and a few boxes of tea bags. “I took the liberty of having it all boiled before you arrived. What kind of tea do you prefer?”

“What kinds do you have?”

“We have,” she looked at the list of flavors on the boxes, “blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepytime, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster,” Nova did a double-take, “ginger, ginger with honey, ginger without honey, vanilla almond, white truffle coconut, chamomile, blueberry chamomile, decaf vanilla walnut, constant comment and… earl grey.”

Nova stared at her. “Did you make some of those up?”

“I think I’ll have earl grey,” Rarity plucked a tea bag from that particular box.

“Surprise me,” Nova shrugged.

“Very well,” Rarity plucked another, and then set the boxes aside on her table as she poured the water into the mugs and set the tea bags into each one.

It didn’t take long for their tea to finish, after which Nova decided to wait for it to cool a bit before he had a taste, even after Rarity added some sugar to it for a bit of additional flavor, as well as to her own.

“I take it you’re not a fan of hot tea?” she glanced at his mug as he left it there.

“Eh,” he shrugged, “I like cold things more. Probably why I prefer beer to tea or coffee.”

A quick spell to artificially cool the tea later, Nova took a sip of the tea, appreciating its very rich flavor, before he quickly drained the cup.

“I personally, prefer liqueur myself,” Rarity put her teacup down.

“Which flavor was this?” Nova asked, prepared to ask for another.

“Sleepytime,” Rarity replied. “I apologize, I cannot offer you anymore. After all,” she smiled in a way that made Nova very uneasy, “you’re going to be learning why that’s its name very soon.”

Oh shit.

Nova almost immediately tried to leap away from the table, especially after feeling the sudden onset of drowsiness, but he wasn’t able to get more than a few paces away before darkness overtook him and he fell into a heap on the ground, snoozing peacefully.

At the sight of the sleeping Nova, Rarity’s grin grew, and she lifted Nova up with her magic, before leading him along toward Lyra’s house to get her accomplice, and then, to the library.

---

Q And A

“Make sure you’re back in Canterlot at the end of the weekend,” the squad leader instructed him as the group of armored pegasi prepared to take off. “Duty resumes Monday morning.”

“Yes sir,” Aegis saluted his commanding officer.

“At ease, corporal,” the sergeant replied with a dismissive wave of his hoof. “We gotta get back to HQ and report on this on the pronto. Enjoy your leave.”

“What’s there to report?” Aegis asked. “We found nothing, all around the forest. No trace of the young mare.”

“Well, now we have to put in a request for a specialized corps of ponies that can venture into the forest with all the protection against that chaotic mess of a jungle,” the sergeant sighed. “Apparently, the princess is trying to get that chaos spirit in Ponyville to do it himself.”

The Elements of Harmony, Nova, and Discord? Aegis thought. Ponyville seems like an interesting place to live.

Not that Canterlot was any less interesting, especially in recent times. With Discord’s release, the Changeling invasion, the return of Nightmare Moon for all of a few hours, and the reformed Princess Luna now around to prank everyone on the night shift, Canterlot was just about as interesting.

Made the times spent in quiet places like out here in Neighton more worth it.

“Anyway, I’ll see you back at the castle, Aegis,” the sergeant nodded at him, before spreading his wings and taking off back up Mt. Canterhorn, leaving Aegis standing there, just a few short meters away from Nova’s house, still wearing his armor, and now bereft of things to do..

When in doubt, a drink at the pub.

He had really come to appreciate The Cloak and Dagger over the last few weeks. Fantastic food, plenty of drink, and a great atmosphere.

The hanging sign of a black cloak wrapped around a dagger stuck point-first in a table creaked in the light wind as he approached it, but apart from that, the tavern was unusually quiet today. But then, it was the middle of the day. It would probably liven up considerably come nightfall and the onset of the weekend.

As soon as he was in, the warmth of the pub washed over him, leading to a smile as he took a seat at the bar. There weren’t any other people inside except for Potent Brew behind the bar, and a tan unicorn with a brown mane sitting a bit further down, but as soon as Potent saw him, he grinned and slid a tankard his way..

“Always welcome in here, if you’re from the guard. You’ll have to remind me which one you are, though,” he said apologetically as he started filling the tankard from a bottle he had pulled up from behind the bar.

“I’m Aegis,” he replied. “No real good place to put my armor.”

“You couldn’t have stashed it in the barracks?” Potent tilted his head as he finished pouring, allowing the head of the beer to sit just enough above the lip of the tankard to be noticeable, but not enough to drip down the sides.

Aegis shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to having it on.”

“So, what can I do you for?”

“Hampton fries, if you would,” Aegis groaned as he took a seat at one of the stools. The unicorn looked over curiously, his blue eyes surveying the newcomer. His mane was short and tidy, and now that Aegis could have a proper look, his cutie mark was a book and quill, superimposed by a green I/O.

“I’ve not seen you around,” Aegis said to the unicorn. “Neighton doesn’t have too many unicorns.”

“I’m not from here,” the unicorn replied, taking a swig of his own beer. “I’m meeting my brother when he gets out of school in a couple of days. Figured I’d swing by early. I’ve heard this town’s pretty nice in autumn.”

“Having experienced it myself over the last few days, I can say you heard right.”

“I’m Quantum Bit, by the way,” the unicorn smiled at him and extended a hoof. Aegis bumped it immediately. “Friends just call me Q, or Q-Bit or just Bit. Quantum is a bit of a mouthful, after all.”

“Aegis,” Aegis replied. He noticed a black fedora and coat hanging up on one of the coat racks by the pub’s door. “Those yours?”

Q-Bit looked over, and on catching sight of what Aegis was indicating, he visibly cringed.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Aegis chortled. “Not a fan of the fedora and trenchcoat look, are we?”

“Not anymore,” groaned Q-Bit, facehoofing. “I used to have them, and I still occasionally wear the coat, but… gah, what was I thinking with the trilby?”

Aegis just shook his head, still grinning, and took a gulp from his mug.

“So, you from here?” Q asked.

“Nope!” Potent replied, placing a roll of silverware down near Aegis’ seat. “We had a detachment of guards in town. Using the town as a base while they did a sweep of the forest to try and find a missing mare.”

“Everyone’s gone back to Canterlot,” Aegis nodded. “We didn’t find the mare. I got OK-ed to take the weekend off, so I figured I’d stay here. Quiet towns like this are a pretty nice vacation away from the hustle and bustle of the city. I mean,” his smile turned wan, “I love my apartment and all, but sometimes you just need to get away.”

“I know that feeling,” Q grinned, before taking another drink and finishing his mug off. “I live in Manehattan. Finished up school at MIM and am now working with Appleture Science on their computer project. And you know Manehattan.”

Aegis laughed. “Oh yes, I do. Never lived there, but it’s not called The City That Never Sleeps for nothing.”

The door to the outside opened up, and in stepped a green-grey pegasus pony with a windswept golden mane and equally-gold eyes. “Afternoon, all,” he raised a hoof to greet them.

“Afternoon, Lance!” Potent waved back. “I guess the Weather Team are done for the day?”

“Yep,” Lance took a seat on Aegis’ other side. “Figured I’d come in for a drink before I head back home. Tea, though. Homen doesn’t like when I come home buzzed.”

“How’re Homen and the little one doing?” Potent pulled out a teapot with a golden cozy stitched with a beer mug on it, as well as a teacup and he poured Lance a cup. Once done, he went back to a small porthole that led to the kitchen where whoever was on his kitchen staff worked. Presumably, he was checking on Aegis’ fries.

“Oh, Homen’s fine, you know her,” Lance took a drink. “Nova’s finally sleeping through the whole night now, so she’s gotten a lot more rest lately.”

“Sorry, did you say ‘Nova?’” Aegis asked, giving Lance a weird look.

“Yeah, my colt,” Lance grinned as he undoubtedly thought of him. “Only two months old. Found out Homen was pregnant about three months after we got married.”

“You sound like you’ve been wanting to brag about him to someone for a while now,” Potent commented. “Just tell them the kid’s life story, why don’t you.”

“I mean, it is a good story,” Lance hollered back. “You should know, considering you kicking me out of the bar was how it got started.”

“What’s going on?” Q asked, thoroughly confused, but he didn’t look as confused as Aegis felt.

This Lance stallion has a colt named Nova? It better not be--

“Oh, we’re just bantering about the reason why my colt’s name is Nova Shine.”

Motherbucker.

Aegis took the time to remove his helmet and place it neatly by his stool, and then let his head hit the bar surface with an audible thunk!

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Lance looked over at him in total disbelief. “What was that about? You alright there?”

“Just feed his ego, why don’t you,” Aegis sighed as he massaged the spot where his head hit the bar. “Because he needs to have it stoked like that.”

“Whose?” Q asked.

“Ah,” Lance nodded sagely. “So you know Nova Shine too?”

“Unfortunately,” Aegis sighed. “Been that idiot’s minder for about 17 years now,. so to speak.”

Q and Lance snorted. Potent, meanwhile, gave them all an askance look.

“Hey now, don’t be insulting one of my favorite customers. No shortage of entertainment whenever Arsenal are on.” He grinned. “According to Cousin Hearty over in Ponyville, he apparently went running and screaming like a maniac after Mertesaddler’s header against Chelsea a few months back.”

“Fuck them,” Aegis replied quite casually. “They’ve made my life miserable for some time now.”

“Spurs fan?” Q asked.

“Spurs fan,” sighed Aegis. “Even when we have a good season and finally finish ahead of them, they still laugh at us.”

He punctuated this with one last draught from his tankard to finish it off.

“Anyway, yeah, the story of how we came to name our colt Nova Shine is a pretty cool one, if I do say so myself,” Lance smiled fondly at the memory. “I mean, I could start with all the details, but the readers can just go reread the beginning of Chapter 1 if they really want to know.”

Aegis rolled his eyes at that. There’s going to be no fourth wall this chapter, is there.

“Anyway, so basically Nova Shine got me an apartment and refused to ask anything for himself in return,” Aegis felt his eyebrows reflexively shoot into his mane. Nova did what now? “After he did that, I cleaned up myself after the run of bad luck I’d been having, got my job back, basically turned myself around, you know?”

Q nodded. Aegis, meanwhile, could only stare into his mug, feeling a smile cross his face. Nova, you really need to try harder if you want to keep me believing you really don’t care about anyone but yourself.

“Anyway, Homen Hearth, the owner of the Neighton Apartments, got me all set up with my living arrangements, and we handled all the paperwork over the next couple of days,” Lance continued. “Spent quite a bit of time getting to know each other. Took me a couple of months before I felt-- Bal!”

Aegis jumped. The door to the pub had opened up behind him and in strode a tan earth pony with a neat black mane.

“Afternoon fellas,” Bal said, sliding into a stool on Q’s other side. “Never seen you around here before,” he held out a hoof to the stallion. “Name’s Balanced Budget. I’m the mayor. What brings you to Neighton?”

“Quantum Bit. Call me Q. Just visiting. Gonna be meeting my brother on his break,” Q bumped the hoof. “Lance was just telling us the story of how his colt’s named after this guy’s friend,” he tapped Aegis’ armor.

“Oh, you must be Aegis then,” Balanced Budget said, turning his gaze to Aegis. “Nova’s told me quite a bit about you.”

“He has?” Aegis was surprised.

“He has,” Bal nodded. “Especially after he got named the Night Apprentice. It’s good to see he has good friends. Faust above knows he needed them back then. Hear he’s doing alright for himself now.”

“Well, if he’s doing well enough for some stallion to name his kid after him, he can’t have done that bad.”

Bal blinked. “Are you telling them the Nova story, Lance?” he asked, sounding exasperated. “You’ve never met a single pony you wouldn’t tell that to!”

“It changed me life!” Lance replied defensively. “How can I not tell?”

“I’m not saying what Nova did isn’t awesome,” Bal replied. “I’m just saying, do you really need to solicit random strangers with it?”

“Hey, he asked,” Lance gestured at Aegis.

“To be fair, I did,” Aegis had to give him that. “Sort of. I mean, Potent Brew encouraged him. I just expressed disbelief that his colt’s name was Nova.”

“Damn it, Poe!” Bal called at the Bartender, who was emerging from the kitchen with a mug for the Mayor. Poe just sarcastically waved at that as he trotted toward them.

“Where was I?” Lance asked.

“Couple of months?” Q offered helpfully.

“Right! Took me a couple of months to actually balls up and ask her out.”

“Gotta admit,” sighed Bal, “I really didn’t see them happening. Of course, I didn’t see Nova Shine just deciding to up and purchase an apartment for a couple of months for him, so…”

“Yeah, that came completely out of nowhere, too!” Lance seized on this thread of conversation quite enthusiastically. “I mean, he was a hermit and always going about his little ‘magical mercenary’ work that he called it.”

He would call it that.

“I thought he was pranking me at first,” Lance admitted. “Glad I was wrong.”

“So, you guys doing anything for the holidays?” Bal asked, mostly to Lance but the question was open to everyone.

“Homen, Nova, and I are going to see family up in Seaddle for a month,” Lance answered, before reaching over, stealing Aegis’ newly-refilled mug, and taking a long drink.

“Hey!”

“Sorry,” Lance wiped his mouth as he returned the mug. Poe just rolled his eyes and replaced it with a new, full one. “I’m driven to drink every time I think of Homen’s mother.”

“Oh, mothers-in-law,” sighed Q. “I hear that.”

“Seems like everyone with kids is going out of town for the holidays,” sighed Bal. “Town’s going to be strangely quiet until well after New Years.”

“Welp,” Q slid off his stool at that, as he pulled out a few bits and left them on the counter, “time for me to head out for the day.”

“Have a good one,” Poe waved at him. “How long are you staying in town?”

“A few weeks, even after Pen leaves. Don’t really have a specific day I’m leaving, though.” Q shrugged. “Heard this part of Equestria was really nice during the holidays. Might stick around for a while.”

“Well, be seeing you, then,” Lance nodded at him as Q strode toward the door. “Enjoy your rest and relaxation, corporal.”

Aegis paused, shocked. “I don’t remember ever saying I was a corporal, and I’m wearing uniformity armor without ranking epaulets. How did you know my rank?”

“Heh, if an author doesn’t know even basic information about his own characters, he’s a pretty poor author if you ask me,” Q didn’t even look at Aegis as he said that. He just pushed the door open, letting the crisp late autumn air waft in. “It’s been a pleasure writing you these last five years, Aegis. It really has.”

While Poe, Lance, and Bal all chatted on their own, oblivious to this conversation, and while Aegis was thoroughly nonplussed by this, Q just smiled, looking down at the ground now.

“Nova, too. You, Nova, Sharp Eye, Envy… and all of the others. It’s been an honor.”

Aegis just continued to stare, not really sure how to take this.

“Heh, look at me, getting all sentimental just because something I’ve written’s been around for a few years.”

With that, he strode out, but he made sure to call behind him as he went.

“Keep an eye on that idiot for me, will you?”

Aegis smiled to himself at that, even as Poe slid a plate of cheese fries topped with hay bacon onto the bar behind him. “Will do, Q. Will do.”

---

Piece of Cake (pt. 3)

Nova awoke in an awkward position, all hooves chained as far away from his body as they could be, with him lying on his back and staring up at a dark ceiling in a dark room. Something was pushing up under his jaw, preventing him from talking, though he could grunt a bit. Yet somehow, he was able to lean his head up just enough to glance around the room.

Sitting there, staring at him, next to a rather large-looking loudspeaker, were Lyra and Rarity.

“I was wondering when you were going to awaken, darling,” Rarity smirked. Beside her, Lyra started fiddling with the speaker, a devious grin on her face. “I must admit, I see what Twilight means when she says you’re an adorable sleeper.”

Nova blinked. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how to take that. One the one hoof, it was extra creepy hearing that from someone that wasn’t Twilight. One the other hoof, that weird tingling in his gut was back, when he pieced together that Twilight thought him sleeping was adorable.

“You’ll, of course, notice that you can’t use your magic right now,” Rarity started to pace around the room, like a self-satisfied supervillain who had the hero in the elaborate deathtrap and was just dying to tell him her master plan. “One of Zecora’s brews, a Miasma of Muddling, perfect for suppressing magic and inducing sleepiness in its imbiber.”

Nova grunted in his restraints.

“And on top of that, it tastes fantastic with earl grey tea if one has already taken the antidote,” Rarity continued, grinning at him like the Cheshire Cat from Mareoll’s Alice in Wonderland.

Nova rolled his eyes. Could she just get on with it already?

“I’m going to take that eye-roll as you trying to tell me to get on with it, and I do assure you,” she stepped forward and patted him on the cheek, “in good time, darling. But I suppose you’re wondering just why Lyra and I have you restrained in your dear marefriend’s basement. And whether or not Twilight knows about this, as well.”

Nova grunted again. He had been wondering that, actually. This did seem out of nowhere.

“It’s really quite simple,” Rarity continued her pacing. “You destroyed Lyra’s house with that spell, and it’s your fault Sweetie Belle broke that vase of mine. It was a gift from Blueblood, I’ll have you know,” she turned to glare at him as she said this.

Nova, of course, couldn’t speak, but if he could, he’d be rather up front with how Sweetie Belle had picked up the vase on her own, and he hadn’t been able to stop her before the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders barged in.

But he did give Lyra his most irritated look possible, since she knew damn well that spell was a broken spell. Lyra just grinned cattily back at him.

“Unfortunately, there never seemed to be a good time to take my revenge, what with your trip to the Crystal Empire, your preparations and trip to Trottingham,” she ticked off each thing by tapping on her hoof, “the week you spent in Canterlot, the week after that you spent in here… but now…” she grinned, “now I have you right where I want you.”

Nova almost rolled his eyes. This was rather corny.

“Uhh, Rarity, a thought occurs,” Lyra suddenly interjected. “Does Twilight know about this?”

“Whatever do you mean, dear?” Rarity asked her, giving her a look that plainly said she couldn’t believe they were having this conversation now, of all times.

“I mean, I love a good prank and all, but uh…” she tapped her hooves together awkwardly, “have you seen Twilight when she gets really mad? Her mane starts smoking and stuff, and she may or may not actually catch fire, if Pinkie Pie is to be believed.”

“What Twilight doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” Rarity replied delicately. “I made sure she would be off in Canterlot while we did this.”

“Yyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhno, I’m not sure about this anymore,” Lyra’s earlier catty grin was now decidedly more nervous.

It seemed the dissent was irritating Rarity more and more, so she stomped on over to the controls of the giant speaker, where Nova noticed a counter going up as high as 50, and two levers next to it.

“Pish posh, Lyra,” Rarity looked Nova right in the eye. “What can be certain, however…”

She pulled one lever, and the loudspeaker started to warm up.

“...is that I think no stallion in a century will suffer as greatly as you will.”

And with that, she stomped over and yanked the other one all the way down.

“Not to 50!” Lyra exclaimed, jumping away.

“IT’S A PIECE OF CAKE TO BAKE A PRETTY CAKE! IF THE WAY IS HAZY!”

Fear flooded through Nova as the annoyingly-Pinkie-esque voice suddenly blasted through the speaker. No… please Faust above no… anything but this! Those were the last thoughts he had before he let out the most gut-wrenching scream of pain, of agony, and of fear that he possibly could.

Lyra could only watch on in horror as Rarity bobbed her head ever-so-faintly to the beat, even as Nova writhed on the table, screaming at the top of his lungs.

The song and scream echoed around Ponyville, causing everyday market-goers to glance around uneasily.

“--YOU GOTTA DO THE COOKIN’ BY THE BOOK! YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T BE LAZY--”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--”

Over in Neighton, several of the guards stationed there, Aegis included, could hear it, which caused them all to look around rather nervously..

“--NEVER USE A MESSY RECIPE, THE CAKE WILL END UP CRAZY--”
“--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--”

Up in Canterlot, as Twilight Sparkle and both of the princesses trotted along up to the sitting room, they heard it.

“--IF YOU DO THE COOKIN’ BY THE BOOK, THEN YOU’LL HAVE A CAKE--”
“--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--”

On hearing it, all three of the Princesses couldn’t help but glance out a conveniently-placed nearby window rather confusedly.

All around Canterlot Valley did it echo...

Big Macintosh and Time Turner were cheerfully trotting along the road to Neighton, having delivered a shipment of apples to the neighboring city. All was quiet along their journey, but then they heard it.

“--WE GOTTA HAVE IT MADE! YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE CAKE! FINALLY IT’S TIME TO MAKE A CAKE!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

“Big Mac,” Turner stepped in front of Big Mac and his cart and stopped him from moving, while both stared in the direction of Ponyville, “Big Mac! Listen! Do you hear?”

Big Mac nodded.

“That is the sound of ultimate suffering,” said Turner gravely.

---

The Perfect Gift

The sitting room was the exact same as it was last time, even though it had been several weeks since the last time they had been there.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna took two of the three couches around the table, and Twilight hopped onto the one between them, insides buzzing with anticipation, though she did wonder about that scream they had heard on the way up for a moment.

Whatever it was, it would have to wait.

“So, you mentioned in your letter that this was something you wanted to ask us face-to-face,” Princess Celestia’s horn flashed gold and a teapot and three cups appeared on the coffee table. “Without Nova being present.”

“Yes,” Twilight tapped her hooves together awkwardly. “I, uhh… I kinda wanted some help.”

“Help?” Princess Luna tilted her head. “With something involving Nova Shine? I would have thought you of all ponies would know the answer.”

“I thought you would,” Twilight admitted to Princess Luna sheepishly. “He’s your student.”

“And he’s your coltfriend,” Princess Luna smiled back at her. “While I know much of Nova Shine after three years of working with him, this is true, I can honestly say at this point, I think you’re the pony to ask for anything about him.”

Under normal circumstances, that even Princess Luna would point to her as the one who knows the most about her dear Nova would make her feel quite proud, but under current circumstances, this only frustrated Twilight all the more.

“That’s exactly the problem!”

She sighed.

“Hearth’s Warming is coming up, and I really wanted to get him something special,” she said quietly. “Not just a book, considering I have almost every book he’d like to read, which is pretty amazing,” she smiled at the nights spent talking headcanons and theories with Nova about the next A Song of Ice and Fire book, or of their debate on whether or not Harry Trotter and the Cursed Foal was actually canon or just a semi-official fanfiction.

It totally isn’t, by the way, but Nova won’t admit when he’s wrong.

“If I know Nova,” Princess Luna tapped her chin thoughtfully, “I don’t think it particularly matters what it is, as long as it’s from you.”

“That doesn’t make this any easier,”groaned Twilight. “I don’t want to just get him something. I want to get him something special. Something he’ll love!”

“You could always give him a kiss,” suggested Princess Celestia, wiggling her eyebrows.

Twilight felt her cheeks heat up, but the pleasant imagery of herself and Nova kissing was just too good to pass up.

“Sister, I believe she is drooling,” Princess Luna whispered a little too loudly.

“Huhwha?” Twilight blinked herself out of her trance state, feeling the heat in her cheeks die down.

“Luna was just teasing you, Twilight,” Princess Celestia rolled her eyes at her younger sister’s antics.

Twilight couldn’t help but take the time to just admire how similar their dynamic was to her’s and Nova’s. Little wonder he was as goofy around her as he was when he had a teacher like Luna, and her own teacher was rather straight-laced by comparison.

“However, she does raise an excellent point,” Princess Celestia continued, taking another sip from her teacup. “However well my sister knows Nova, which is rather well,” she added meaningfully, giving Twilight a look, “you have interacted with him in far more meaningful ways. Such as the time you went with him to see Doctor Hoofman. And you have had far more time of late to spend around him. So I must agree with Luna, I believe you are the one best suited to answer this question.”

Twilight opened her mouth to protest, but Princess Celestia held up a hoof to stall her.

“However, I understand where you are coming from.”

Twilight’s response died in her throat as she closed her mouth.

“You can confidently say that you know what he loves, but despite that, you still feel at a loss for what to get him that would really blow him away, is that correct?”

“Yes, Princess,” Twilight nodded, grateful for her mentor’s intercession.

“I feel with that out of the way, a little help would not be amiss,” Princess Celestia smiled encouragingly at her pupil. “Tell me, Twilight, what is it that Nova likes to spend time on?”

“Magic and reading, naturally,” Twilight answered immediately. Those two were obvious. Every new concept Luna had sent his way since his suspension was revoked had seen him dive into the new information eagerly. And when she had recommended a new book to him over the last several weeks before and after the trip to Trottingham, he was always quick to dig right in and start reading in free time.

“Anything else?”

“Well, he is a massive hoofball fan too,” she said, recalling the several times he had donned a red scarf and gone to watch a match at the Poison Apple, Hearty Brew’s pub.

“As we understand it,” Princess Celestia glanced over at her sister, “‘massive’ is an understatement.”

“No kidding,” Twilight let out a small chuckle at a memory of Nova acting as giddy as a schoolfilly in the runup to whatever the Community Shield was. “If he could live and breathe it, he would.”

“Would he prefer magic, reading, or hoofball, would you say?” asked Princess Celestia, rubbing a hoof under her chin while she pondered what she was learning.

“See, the thing about Nova is, he enjoys the process of learning,” Twilight furrowed her brow as she started to really think about it too. “Just giving him a spell he can easily master would just disappoint him, I think. Not to mention, I think he’s come to trust you, Princess Luna,” Princess Luna smiled at the praise, “and he understands that you’re going at the pace he needs to go, so I think magic can be ruled out.”

“Which leaves reading and hoofball, and as you said, you already have almost everything he’d ever like to read,” Princess Luna pointed out.

“Yes. So, hoofball is the last remaining one,” Twilight said, which only irritated her more. Had she been able to justify magic or learning, getting something for Nova wouldn’t have been all that difficult. But she didn’t know anything about hoofball, except that her father had taken her to see Princess’ Park Rangers when she was young, and that Nova loved Arsenal and hated Trottenham.

“Hmm... “ Princess Celestia tapped her chin thoughtfully. “I think I might be able to make something happen.” She smiled. “When you have attended as many games as I have, the chairpony of the Equestrian Premier League does owe you a favor or two…”

“Really?” Twilight asked, surprised that Princess Celestia was willing to personally lend a helping hoof. “I don’t want to pressure you into helping me or anything.”

“Nonsense, Twilight,” Princess Celestia smiled sweetly at her. “I will make all the arrangements, and you will get all the credit. Do make sure to bring him back down to earth after a few minutes though, would you? I have a feeling he may literally shoot himself over the moon in excitement.”

Twilight giggled at the thought.

“Thank-you, Princess,” she said, after the laughter subsided. “This really does get rid of at least one of my worries.”

“It’s no problem at all, Twilight,” assured her mentor.

Suddenly, there came a couple of taps at the door, which startled Twilight. Were they expecting a guest?

“Oh, I believe our visitor has arrived,” Princess Celestia rose and strode over to the door to open it up.

Behind the door were a guard and a mare. The mare’s coat was a pale blue, almost like Trixie’s mane. Her own mane, however, was a pure silver, as was her tail, which was held with a strange sort of grace Twilight had not seen in any other pony but Rarity or the two Princesses. And her eyes, silver as her mane and almost as gentle as Fluttershy, immediately met her own.

“Good afternoon, Shimmer,” Princess Celestia stepped to the side to allow their guest entry, and nodded at the escort. The guard saluted and marched off at this. “You came at just the right time.”

“Thank-you, Princess,” Twilight was startled to hear how musical her voice was, and it had a certain quality to it that sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her hoof on what it was.

Shimmer stepped into the room, immediately approaching Twilight, her eyes never leaving her’s.

“You must be Twilight Sparkle,” Shimmer said, holding out a hoof as she came close.

Twilight stood up and reached out to bump it. “Yes, I am. A pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

“I assure you, the pleasure is all mine,” Shimmer inclined her head. Twilight took the opportunity to find her cutie mark, and it was a diamond, much like Rarity’s, though with a bright gleaming star on it, like light reflecting off of its surface.

Fitting, she thought.

“Twilight, do you know who this is?” Princess Luna asked, surveying Shimmer herself.

“I… can’t say that I do,” she admitted.

“You will know her last name, I would imagine,” Luna continued. “Novus.”

Twilight’s mouth parted for just a moment. “You’re Nova’s mother!”

Shimmer nodded. “I am.”

“He… he talks about you a lot,” Twilight internally cringed at that. Obviously a lie, considering Nova always tried to cut himself off if he went anywhere near his parents in conversation.

Shimmer smiled humorlessly. “You need not lie to spare my feelings, Twilight Sparkle. I think the time he screamed at myself and my husband made his feelings quite clear.”

She indicated the empty spot next to where Twilight had been sitting. “May I?”

Twilight nodded, and they both took a seat back on the couch, as Princess Celestia trotted back to her own seat. All the while, Twilight felt Shimmer’s eyes on her, studying her. Internally, she couldn’t help but feel more than a little nervous. Was Shimmer trying to decide whether or not she was a good marefriend for Nova?

Or did she think little of her because Nova’s anger was justified?

“You love him, don’t you,” Shimmer observed, and Twilight noticed that it wasn’t a question.

“I do,” she answered quite immediately. No matter how many times she said it, Twilight would never get used to the butterflies in her gut that always seemed to take flight. It was exhilarating, and it would never get old.

Shimmer smiled at her, and in one beautiful moment, Twilight could just see Nova in it. That moment alone, Twilight felt, was worth all the books and all the spells in the world.

Except for the Deathly Hallows first edition that Nova had gotten signed by Yearling. Nothing was worth that much.

“I could just see it in your eyes,” Shimmer glanced at the floor. “How is he? How has he been since… that night?”

“He’s been fine,” Twilight assured her. “He was more than a little down about that night,” Twilight noticed Shimmer glance away slightly, “but he’s back to his usual self.”

“You should know, he cares about you,” Shimmer said.

“I’m… sorry?”

That seemed out of nowhere.

Shimmer, however, didn’t seem to want to continue that line of thought. Instead, she slid out of her seat and began to trot toward the door.

“Leaving so soon?” asked Princess Celestia, sounding concerned. “But you just got here.”

“I have heard all I need to,” Shimmer replied, pausing before the door. “It is enough to know that my son is in good health,” she looked back and met Twilight’s eyes again, “and that he has a mare who loves him.”

Twilight felt her eyes well up ever so slightly.

Shimmer pawed at the ground for a moment, and before Twilight’s eyes, two flowers, chiseled out of the marble of the floor, began to grow. As they grew, the stems began to intertwine, twisting around each other until they were about six inches tall. As soon as they stopped growing, color began to flood them, starting with their stems turning green.

As Twilight watched, one flower began to be colored the lavender of her coat, with a few petals closer to the center growing darker, the blue of her mane, though with her magenta streaks. The other, however, began to color itself blue. Nova’s blue, though with a spot of white centered around its core.

As soon as the color had finished, the flowers grew apart, stretching away, before suddenly bending back inward, touching ever-so-gently as they met, forming the shape of a heart.

Even as the process finished, and the marble flowers plucked from the ground and levitated toward her in silver magic, Twilight was left speechless. And when she took it in her hooves and felt all around it, she couldn’t help but be completely blown away by just how exquisite it was. Beautifully detailed, durable, and the symbolism of what it meant from Shimmer, all of it was enough to draw a small tear and a touched smile from Twilight as she looked it over.

“Take care of him, would you?” Shimmer asked, drawing her gaze again.

“Of… of course, Mrs. Novus,” Twilight promised.

“Please, just call me Shimmer,” the other mare requested, turning back around. “Farewell, Twilight Sparkle. May you find happiness with him.”

And with that, Shimmer was gone, leaving the three of them alone again. Neither Princess Celestia nor Princess Luna deigned to speak at first, while Twilight just continued to look over the marble flowers. To add to her astonishment, the center of each flower was inscribed with the cutie mark of the flower it belonged to, colored perfectly to match. Her cutie mark stood out rather well against the navy of the center, where Nova’s blue cutie mark stood in stark contrast to the white around it.

“What… what kind of spell was that?” Twilight asked, barely louder than a whisper.

“That was no ordinary spell, Twilight,” Princess Luna sounded just as touched by the gesture as she felt. “That was alchemy.”

“A-alchemy?” Twilight asked. She still hadn’t even touched the book Nova had brought back for her from Neighton. If it could truly produce things this amazing, it was going to be a top priority when she got a chance.

“Indeed,” Princess Celestia stood up and walked over to her. “What she has given you is something you should always treasure, Twilight.”

She nodded, still staring at the two intertwined flowers. “I will.”

She had come seeking the perfect gift for Nova, and she had received the perfect gift from his mother.

And she would treasure it always.

---

The Beautiful Game

“I’m bored.”

Trixie looked up from her book, at the mare that had barged into her room. This castle was deceptively well-equipped, and Envy was, for some reason, seeming rather generous lately. Just last week, she had moved Trixie out of her cell and into an actually-somewhat-lavish room. And, even though she hated to admit it, Twilight Sparkle’s fascination with books suddenly seemed justified.

“There’s always books to read,” Trixie didn’t so much as glance up from Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone.

“I wanna go do something other than read all these books,” Envy replied. “I went walking around Trottingham yesterday and found something that looked interesting.”

“Is it the lights festival?” Trixie sighed. “Tell me it’s not the lights festival.”

“No, it’s not the lights festival. It’s something called… hoofball.”

That got Trixie’s attention. She glanced up at her captor. Today, she was disguised as one of those ponies from Ponyville. Bon-Bon, or Sweetie Drops, or whatever her name was. The only way to tell them apart would have been the eyes, as Envy’s were red as usual.

“Who’s playing?” she asked, before reaching over to a small table to her right and grabbing the teacup placed there.

“Whoever the hell Trottingham Forest and--” Envy stopped. “Are you drinking tea?”

“I am,” Trixie replied evenly.

“What is it with this chapter and tea?” Envy asked, glancing up at the preceding several shorts. “This is literally the fifth time.”

“Do you want some?” Trixie offered her the pot.

“No,” Envy growled. “I was never into tea.”

“Your loss,” Trixie set the pot back down.

“Anyway, Trottingham Forest are playing some team called Manechester United or some shit.”

“Hmm,” Trixie hummed as she turned a page in her book. “By the sound of things, you want to go.”

“Obviously. It looks interesting.”

“It’s… an acquired taste for some,” Trixie warned. “Still, how will we know whether or not you’ll like it unless we go watch?”

“Fair point. Game starts in three hours, and it’ll take one to get there. Might want to get a move on.”

“Just out of curiosity, you’re being really nice to me this chapter,” observed Trixie. “Wasn’t I in a dungeon at the end of the last one?”

“This chapter’s not canon, except for when it is,” Envy shrugged, before giving a meaningful look to the readers. “Got that?”

“Honestly, that sounds a bit like a cop-out just in case people aren’t fans of Fluttershy and Sharp Eye becoming a thing,” Trixie noted.

“We’ll see, won’t we?” Envy grinned at the readers one more time before she stopped acknowledging the fourth wall’s (non)existence. “Welp, let’s get a move on.”

The journey to Trottingham was a surprisingly short one. It probably helped that Envy was taking refuge in Trixie’s head rather than walk around on her own. She also took the liberty of changing Trixie’s coat and mane colors so as not to attract the kind of suspicion she was hoping to avoid.
“Gah, I hate being pink,” Trixie groaned to herself as they joined the throng of ponies swarming into . “It just makes me feel so… I don’t know, poofy.”

Right. I guess there’s no love lost between you and that pink mare from Ponyville.

“I threw her mouth into the trash.”

That sounds like a really interesting story.

“About 22 minutes long, give or take commercial breaks,” Trixie grinned at the memory. The queue they had joined to get into City Ground was slowly making its way into the stadium, though it was made a bit slower by ponies like them purchasing tickets.

“You did bring the bits, didn’t you?” Trixie asked Envy as they got closer,

I brought a knife. We can get in free if we use that.

“No!” Trixie hissed, causing several passers-by to look over at the strange mare talking to herself, before backing away slowly. “We are not doing that. Gimme the bits.”

Hah! You should have seen the look on your face. Hang on, hang on, I’ll get them

Trixie could only growl at her mental roomie. Still, at least the line was clear now. It didn’t take too long to purchase the ticket and get inside, where they followed the directions to their seat.

They were down close to the away supporters, who were dressed mostly in red. A few of them were wearing white kits, but there were a few scattered ponies wearing black as well. Meanwhile in the home side, the colors were mostly the same, but there were some blue kits and scarves scattered among them as well.

Down on the pitch, there were a set of ponies wearing black shirts and shorts that were warming up closest to wear they were sitting, with a couple of them wearing lime-green long-sleeved shirts and pants, and even foam covers for their front hooves.

Why are they standing like that?

The ponies warming up were standing entirely on their hind legs, using their upper torso and front hooves to steady the ball, though they naturally couldn’t touch it with said front hooves, except for the goalkeepers.

“Some technique that lets them kick better and move better, I guess,” Trixie shrugged. “I don’t play the game, so I wouldn’t know. I guess it’s because they can’t use their forehooves, so they take them out of the game by standing up like a dragon or diamond dog.”

Why is there one with a massive afro?

Yep, that was Fellaini alright.

“I guess he just likes his mane that way.”

The ones closest to them, Manechester United based on the away fans cheering at about everything they did, were taking shots to warm the keepers up.

That’s some impressive leg power. A shot whizzed just past de Gea’s hooves and into the goal as he dove to make a save.

Trixie took the time to explain the basic rules to Envy as the warmups ended and the players retreated into the dressing rooms. Up on one of the video baords, the Equestrian Premier League table was flashing up.

POS........TEAM.....................................MP...W....D.....L....GF...GA..GD...P
1.............Manechester City.....................15....12....1.....2.....33....11....22...37
2.............Manechester United................14......9.....4.....1.....33....14....19...31
3.............Chelsea....................................15......9.....4.....2.....37....20....17...31
4.............Arsenal....................................15......9.....3.....3.....32....19....13...30
5.............Trottenham Hotspur................15......7.....6.....2.....24....11....13...27
6.............Liverpool.................................15......6.....6.....3.....20....16....4...24
7.............Everton....................................15......6.....3.....6.....21....26....-5...21
8.............Fillydelphia Union...................15......5.....5.....5.....20....18....2...20
9.............Cloudsdale Wanderers.............15......5.....5.....5.....19....19....0...20
10...........Crystal Palace...........................15......5.....5.....5.....14....15....-1...20
11...........Manehattan City FC.................15......5.....4.....6.....17....22....-5...19
12...........Accrington Stallion..................15......5.....3.....7.....21....25....-4...18
13...........West Ham United.....................15......5.....2.....8.....15....25....-10...17
14...........Seaddle Sounders.....................15......4.....4.....7.....21....26....-5...16
15...........Princess’ Park Rangers.............15......4.....3.....8.....27....29....-2...15
16...........Vanhoover Whitecaps...............15......3.....6.....6.....13....16....-3...15
17...........Trotston Revolution...................15......3.....4.....8.....17....31....-14...13
18...........Los Pegasus Galaxy...................15......3.....3.....9.....19....31....-12...12
19...........Trottingham Forest....................14......3.....3.....8.....12....29....-17...12
20...........Sunderland.................................15......3.....2.....10.....14....27....-13...11

Those the standings or whatever? What’s the numbers all indicate?

“Yeah. First two columns are self-explanatory. Third is Matches Played, then Wins, Draws, and Losses, then Goals For, Goals Against, Goal Differential, and then Points.”

So how’s it work?

“A win gets you three points, a draw one, and a loss none. If you’re tied on points, goal differential is the tie-breaker, which is goals for minus goals against.Team at the top at the end of the season wins the league.”

Why are the bottom three rows red? And why are the top three bright green? Why’s the fourth in a lighter green and the fifth in blue?

“Bottom three teams are in the relegation zone. At the end of the season, the three teams that finish there get bumped down to Tier 2, while three teams from Tier 2 take their place. As for the top, the Top 3 automatically go to the Eurpone Champions League, the 4th goes into a playoff for qualification, and the 5t goes to the Eurpona League, which is not as good.”

Huh. This seems complicated.

“It’s really not,” shrugged Trixie, “but I’ve been seeing games for twenty-ish years, so…”

When does the game start?

“Soon.”

It was at that point that the announcer chose to make his grand entrance, welcoming them all to City Grounds and droning off the starting lineups. The ones from Manechester United were met with whistles from everyone around them, and the ones for Trottingham Forest were naturally met with cheers. As soon as the announcer finished, the double-column of players and foals marched out of the tunnel, led by the referees wearing yellow.

About damn time. I was getting bored.

After that, things proceeded rather quickly. In almost no time at all, the players were trotting out to their spot in the formation, preparing to go. The two close to the ball rose onto their hind legs, ready to begin play, while everyone else but the keepers remained on all fours.

And then the whistle was blown and the match was underway. And at once, the Forest crowd were singing.

“We’re Forest till we die,
We’re Forest till we die,
We know we are,
We’re sure we are,
We’re Forest till we die!”

Oh Faust above, singing? You didn’t tell me there would be singing.

“You didn’t ask.”

The Trottingham players had gained possession of the ball and were passing it around, trying to find a way past Manechester United’s defense, though they weren’t making much ground. Though the times Mane U got the ball, they didn’t fare much better, with their own attacks fizzling into nothing, all while the crowd fell out of singing and started the usual chatter of the match.

And all the while, Envy was getting rather restless.

Is… is this it? It’s so slow!

“This is hoofball. It’s a slower game,” Trixie checked the match clock and saw they were in the 17th minute.

Where’s the scoring? Those goals are huge. How do they not score?

“Be patient,” Trixie hissed as a Mane U player charged down the wing..

Be honest, does this game end in ties?

“It does.”

Damn it, what kind of sport ends in a tie? Sounds fucking boring. Why would people pay to watch 0-0 ties?

A Forest player chose that moment to charge down the flank, managing to get past the Mane U defender and fire a shot on goal, but de Gea was able to dive in and hit it away. The crowd instantly reacted with the usual “Augh!”

That’s much better. At least they’re doing something now.

De Gea’s goal kick went soaring halfway across the field where it was quickly won back by a Forest player, who immediately passed it rather high over the defense toward a teammate, but there came a rather shrill whistle to put a stop to that before anything else, all while the home crowd howled.

What was that? What’s going on? Why’s that ref raising his flag?

“Offside,” Trixie spotted the official with the raised flag. “The attacker got too far forward when his teammate kicked it. They have to be behind a defender when the hoof connects with the ball.”

You sure know quite a bit about the game for someone who’s only been to the occasional match.

“In Equestria, hoofball is a lifestyle,” Trixie shrugged.

Play resumed and it was back to the rather dull affair that had been before, without too much of an attack, but it didn’t last long. A Forest player managed to break free off of a ball that ricocheted off a Mane U player, and he galloped right down field at top speed.

“Oooooooooooh!” you could just hear the crowd getting ready to celebrate. The Forest player was home free, but only had de Gea to beat. Even as de Gea came charging out to challenge the shot, the Forest player just chipped it right over, where it came down gently against the back of the net, and suddenly, it was like fireworks were going off in the stadium.

Everyone in the home sections had exploded into cheers, jumping up and down, screaming at the top of their lungs. It only took a few minutes for the singing to start again.

“And It’s Troooootiiiiiiingham Forest!
Trottingham Forest FC!
We’re by far the greatest team
The world has ever seen!
And It’s Troooootiiiiiiingham Forest!...”

About damn time someone scored, Envy grunted.

“Hush. Let them enjoy the goal.”

“Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?”

“Oh, fun,” Trixie grinned. “Now they’re taunting the Mane U supporters. This is going to end well.”

That statement turned out to be prophetic. It only took another 15 minutes for Mane U to score, and that quieted the crowd significantly, though the away supporters had erupted and were singing their own song.

And then just a few minutes later, they scored again. They were in the 40th minute, and Mane U were up 2-1 when they had been behind only ten minutes before.

Not long after that, it was halftime.

“You’ve been strangely quiet for the last few minutes,” Trixie pointed out. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

It’s not completely awful. I can see why some ponies like it.

Trixie smirked at that. The second half was underway soon after, and Mane U were almost instantly on the offensive, just slicing and dicing the Trottingham Forest defense like sushi.

And in no time at all, they scored again. Now, Forest were 3-1 down.

And it was then that another song started echoing around the pitch.

“You’ve only scored three!
You’ve only scored threeeeeeeee!
How shit must you be?
You’ve only scored three!”

Once Trixie and Envy both heard the words to that one, they both burst out into raucous fits of laughter. The funniest thing about hoofball was definitely the creativity of its fans.

Something reinforced about ten minutes later when the game’s pace had slowed down considerably. Forest controlled possession of the ball but couldn’t make any progress forward, and were just passing it around, leading to mass jeers from the crowd. Until…

“Let’s pretend we scored a goal!
Let’s pretend, let’s pretend!
Let’s pretend we scored a goal!”

And then without warning, the home supporters burst into cheers, despite the players still just monotonously passing the ball around the midfield line while the defense shifted around to cover them.

That, naturally, only redoubled the laughter, something the other fans were also laughing at.

They weren’t laughing about seven minutes later when Forest managed to loft a ball over the defense, where it floated right toward a Forest player making a run, and he got his head to it just in time to direct it in goal, away from de Gea.

Again, the crowd exploded into cheers, but with only 20 minutes left to tie the game or win it, the fans were rather restless, and irritated.

The irritation wasn’t helped by Forest resuming with the same incredibly slow pace as before, which only caused time to tick away at an even more agonizing pace than before.

Sadly, that was the last interesting thing that happened on the field for the rest of the night, though the crowd had some fun with it. A random pony eating a pie down somewhere in front of Trixie had somehow attracted the crowd’s attention roundabouts the 76th minute.

“He’s eating pie!
He’s eating pie!
He’s eating pie, he’s eating pie,
He’s eating pie!”

Even as the pony laughed to himself while he took a bite, the crowd changed the tune.

“Does he want some sauce?
Does he want some sauce?
Does he want some sauce, does he want some sauce,
Does he want some sauce?”

At this, the pony almost spat out his mouthful of pie, laughing at it as it looped for a few times. But then he waved his hoof at a random crowd member who was making his way toward him with some kind of red bottle. And at the sight of that, the crowd changed tune yet again.

“He’s got some brown!
He’s got some brown!
He’s got some brown, he’s got some brown,
He’s got some brown!”

At this, the Mane U fans in their section were laughing up a storm again. Trixie guessed these ponies were having a good time because their hoofball team was making life boring for them, so they had to find some way to entertain themselves.

But with the game winding down, the Mane U supporters started to sing their own song, having been rather quiet all game.

“Glory, glory Mane Uniiiiited!
Glory, glory Mane Uniiiiited!
Glory, glory Mane Uniiiiited!
As the Reds go marching on! On! On!”

But the home fans weren’t having it.

“We lose every week!
We lose every weeeeeeeeek!
You’re nothing special!
We lose every week!”

And that was it. That was the best thing they both heard all day. As the two of them burst into laughter, the ref blew the final whistle to mark the end of the game, and everyone started to file out. It didn’t take long for Envy and Trixie to make their way back into the Everfree Forest, back into the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, and back to the way things were. As Trixie’s coat returned to its usual blue hue, and Envy popped out of her head, Trixie returned to her book.

“You know, that wasn’t completely awful,” Envy remarked as she left Trixie in the room.

“No chance of hoping you get any nicer permanently, though, right?” Trixie glanced at Envy over the top of her book.

“Nope,” Envy shook her head. “One-chapter deal. Next chapter, it’s back to the way things normally are.”

“Fun stuff. For what it’s worth, though, it was kind of fun today with you hanging around up here,” she tapped her head.

“Likewise, Trisha.”

“Trixie.”

“You know I’m doing that on purpose now, right?”

“Obviously,” Trixie smiled to herself as she found her place and continued. “Anyway, lemme know next time you’re bored. I have another thing you can try.”

“Oh?” Envy arched an eyebrow.

And here, Trixie grinned.

“It’s a simple little game called ‘Ogres and Oubliettes.’ It’s this game where you pretend to be fantasy characters and--”

“Nope!” Envy was out of that room faster than Trixie had ever seen, leaving her to just laugh after her.

---

Piece of Cake (pt. 4)

“Aaaah,” Twilight sighed happily as her saddlebags came off of her shoulders and she stowed them underneath her centerpiece shelves in the library, and the gift from Shimmer floated over and was laid gently onto a windowsill. There would be time to find a proper way to display it, and to put everything else away later, but for now, she was going to rest from the train ride. All these rides to Canterlot were doing a number on her back. One of these days she would need to schedule a spa appointment.

Strangely enough, though, she had expected Spike and Nova to be here to greet her when she arrived. She had only been gone for two days, after all. And they knew it was only going to be that long. Just a quick conversation with the Princesses (and surprisingly, Shimmer Novus), two nights and a day spent with her parents, and like that she was back home in the early afternoon.

...so why was no one here?

Her first instinct was to glance at the door to Nova’s basement, and sure enough, it was shut, like it always was when he wanted to be alone.

Not a good sign...

Rather quickly, she trotted over and slowly opened it, giving way to a completely dark room below. What was more, she could hear some distressed muttering coming from where Nova’s bed was, at the bottom.

“Nova?” she asked, stepping in and lighting her horn to illuminate the room.

Sure enough, her stallion was on his bed, curled into a fetal position, head resting on his pillow.

Maybe he was sleeping?

She nervously made her way down the steps and over to where he lay, and was startled to see that he was quivering from head to hoof, as if he were cold, but upon reaching a hoof out to feel at his head, she could feel the sweat matted on his brow.

Is he sick?

“Nova, are you awake?” she asked quietly, not wanting to disturb him if he wasn’t, though if he were having a nightmare, she’d need to put a stop to it as soon as possible.

Suddenly, a shaking hoof reached up and grabbed her shoulder.

“You don’t understand,” Nova croaked. “You don’t understand. Can’t understand. Can’t hear. Can’t see, can’t speak or feel or know or understand… can’t understand why… why… why…”

This was seriously starting to creep her out now.

“Nova, calm down,” she slowly pulled Nova’s hoof off her shoulder and raised him into a sitting position. His eyes seemed distant… like he wasn’t quite there. “What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“Bits and pieces little bits and pieces of apple chunks coming up,” he croaked, his voice gaining in volume. “Running and walking on two legs dancing singing like a girl… not a girl, not a girl, a monster… grotesque plastic faces smiling and laughing and moving like it's natural but it's not natural right and left and back and forth and up and down… can't speak can't hear can't feel or know don't understand why… why! WHY!”

Twilight felt her heart stop.

That scream…

“By the book… by the book… by the book…” Nova muttered frantically, before suddenly grabbing Twilight by the shoulder again and yanking her face to be within an inch of his.

His eyes were pinpricks and stared in different directions, while a mad smile suddenly broke across his face.

"YOU GOTTA DO THE COOKIN' BY THE BOOK! By the book… by the book, oh merciful worlds, not the cake… not the cake… they wouldn’t stop… hours… minutes fading into hours of it… the cake… i-it's the cake… THE CAKE!"

Twilight had grown up learning directly from Princess Celestia, and that included the Princess’ methods for pranking ponies. Her pranks were always fantastically subtle and manipulative. She convinced a noble to wear a toilet seat around his neck to the Grand Galloping Gala one year. She invited the six of them to brighten the festivities at another Gala two years before. And this was not forgetting the time she only sent two tickets to that same gala just to cause a bit of trouble at her expense not long after moving to Ponyville.

One time, she had even had her guards lengthen the line at the Department of Transportation, which was one of her most devious achievements.

But this… this was a whole new level. An unbelievable, twisted, and pure evil level.

And she knew exactly who was behind it.

“RARITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

Author's Note:

Five years.

Five long years full of awesome MLP fun, writing delays, growth as an author and person, and so on and so on.

It's been fun. Thank you all for your support over the last five years. Looking forward to every day beyond with such amazing fans and readers.

Rytex out. Have a fantastic day.

Comments

[CrimsonEyedPrince]

God I love this filler chapter. Hilarious too the end. Well done.

[Snowdrifter]

One time, she had even had her guards lengthen the line at the Department of Transportation, which was one of her most devious achievements.

i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/156/954/131222087657.gif

[LostArchivist]

...How many references IS that?!

[TexasDragon1995]

Nice chapter, but I will forever hail AMERICAN Football! It's better anyway

[MirandaShadowind]

Hilarious! And whether you meant it to or not, Nova’s epic scream and how far it reached reminded me of a certain Dragonball Z Abridged incident...