Meet the PO'd Prissy Prince
Enigma trotted to a nearby park, enjoying the warm sun on his back. He sat himself down on a bench, carefully pulling the book out of his saddlebag. He pulled a dry quill out as well, using it to flip through the pages. Where is it...ah, here it is! “Sarcasm: a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain.”
He stared blankly at the book, flipping the page back and forth, wondering if he was missing something. The guide, however, had nothing else to give him. “...that’s not much to go off of...” He sighed, laying his head on his hooves and slowly reading the whole thing.
He eventually got to a section involving actors and how they use body language to convey emotions. “...so that’s why they exaggerate their movements...” He chuckled, shaking his head. “How silly!” He turned the page, intent on reading the next chapter.
The book was yanked out of his grasp, floating towards a tall white stallion. His cold, blue eyes flickered across the pages, a frown on his face. “So this is why you didn’t understand my advances?”
Enigma groaned, standing up and glaring at the unicorn. “Leave me alone. Or do you want a matching mark on your face?” He smirked, indicating the horseshoe bruise under the blonde pony’s left eye. He snagged his book back, putting it in his saddlebag. “Besides, I’m a stallion, not a mare, like you’re probably looking for.”
He raised a perfectly trimmed eyebrow, frowning. “What are you talking about?”
The red pegasus groaned again, shaking his head. “Well, you only fondled my flank because you thought I was a mare, and I’m-” He stopped mid-sentence, his eyes slowly growing wider. “...oh sweet Luna...”
The unicorn looked down at him with lidded eyes, a smirk on his lips. “I see you finally understand.” He approached him, the wicked smile on his face the whole time. “Come with me, femcolt.”
In a panic, Enigma’s mind sped up, quickly taking in the details of everything around him. I can’t run around him. He glanced at his saddlebag, calculating the possibility of getting something before the other pony can act. I can’t take anything out of my bag. He looked around, noticing that it was starting to get dark. I can’t even call out to someone. There’s no one nearby to hear.
He turned back to the unicorn, noticing that his jaw was set. ...I suppose there’s only one way to get out of this situation... He lowered his head in a resigned manner and turned around, completely facing the other direction.
The red pegasus quickly kicked the blonde stallion in the face once more, knocking the would-be assaulter on his back, dazed. “Like BUCK I’d let that happen to me!” He rushed off, completely forgetting the quill on the bench.
The white unicorn stood up, frowning deeply. “...go ahead and run, my little pony...I always get what I want...” He noticed the writing utensil on the bench. With a smirk, he picked it up and placed it in his ascot, turning away and leaving, now with matching bruises under his eyes.
Thanks to Sam Cole for giving me an idea that helped bring me back on track with this story! 
The next two or three chapters will likely seem odd to everyone, but bear with me through it, mkay? 
On a separate note, I apologize for the relatively short chapter. I just really dislike Blueblood. 
Have a nice day!
Enigma out.~
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Pretty cool, but did I miss something? I don't remember seeing Blueblood fondle Enigma anywhere.
Yeoman, out
1811979
check last chapter, the paragraph before enigma sees vinyl.
I think we all hate Blueblood. He was made to be hated.
Rapist blueblood
Ye gods…
Is this when our OCs can jump in and kick Blueblood's prissy flank?
Preeeeeetty Pleeeeeeeaaaaasse?
So.... gay Blueblood....... Well that's...... odd......
1812568 I agree. BLUEBLOOD MUST FACE MOB JUSTICE!
1814701 I'm pretty sure we would all carry swords of differing sizes.
1814939 That's the beauty of mob justice. Then again, if I wanted to make him suffer, All I'd have to do is make him think to try and take one of my blades and depending on which one he took he'd either be burned to ash in an instant or he'd be frozen for eternity. (You can guess which sword dishes out which punishment.)
And of course, if we carried swords, they'd all be bigger than his... y'know
1814946 I'm guessing the red one freezes them and the blue one burns them.
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/122/1/b/princess_luna_awesome_face_by_ultimateultimate-d4ybfq5.png
1814946>>1814954
...seriously, vi?
"...I have to wonder if Bluebutt would like having stallions attacking him with swords."
...
"What? I hear he's a masochist!"
1814966 Alright then! It's settled!
We burn him with molotov cocktailsssss… Nah that… that's just wrong…
1814954 Nice one. Trolluna strikes again.
1814966 And just something you should know about Blueballs, he has to use toys because of what my sister did to him...
1814980 Oh gods… NOT THIS AGAIN!!
1814987 So you do remember...
1814990 *whimpers as manly as possible*
1815007 Don't worry, she won't do it without a reason. You already know why she did it to that former special forces guy, and she did it to BB because he's an asshole. Unless you actually do something bad, she'll be your best friend.
1815016 *ahem* What is considered… bad?
1815025 Deliberately causing harm to others, be it physical, mental, emotional etc., without just cause. Other stuff, but I won't bother mentioning it cause it's astronomically unlikely to happen.
yeah, just throwing this out there, but the next nlae chapter is ready.
you want me to put it up? 
1815032 Phew! That's a relief!
)
1815033 YES! YES! YES! (also, you managed to post ONE SECOND after clearshot did.
WHAT. THE. F***************************CK.