• Published 16th Nov 2012
  • 1,659 Views, 240 Comments

No Longer an Enigma - enigmaMystere



How Enigma, from 'Epic Rap Battles of MLP', met his current friends.

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Meet the Drunk Dubstep DJ

Enigma wandered down the street, pausing every few minutes to glance at the card he was given. He sighed, frowning at the address of the concert hall he was supposed to go to. What kind of orchestral hall is called ‘The Basement’, anyways?

A few minutes later, he rounded a corner and was face-to-face with a odd looking building. The structure was comparable to what a pony might see in Las Pegasus, the whole design reminiscent of a high-tech jukebox. At least, I hope that’s a jukebox. I’ve never seen anything like it, before. He craned his neck, looking at the sign above the door. “...the Bass-Ment? This can’t be a concert hall.”

He pushed the door open, glancing around inside. The interior of the building was almost pitch-black, the only light causing from the coats of several ponies to glow brightly. There was a steady bass thumping in the air, powerful enough for the red pegasus to feel in his chest. The one thing that stuck out the most to him, though, was the bartender and the drinks everypony had in their hooves. “This isn’t a concert hall at all!”

He stumbled through the writhing crowd, trying his best to avoid colliding with the dancers or causing any of the drinks to even touch him. After several close calls and a single grope of his flank (which resulted in a kick to the face for the unlucky blonde unicorn), he made it to the stage.

He was stunned by what he saw.

It’s her! The lone pony on the stage was almost exactly as he remembered her. The same white coat that reflected the light whenever she played. Those iconic violet shades that hid the mystery that was her eyes. That wild head of electric blue hair, spiked in style but very likely soft to the touch. As she turned to leave the stage, he got a perfect view of her cutie mark, two eighth notes that accented her perfect flank...

He shook his head, snapping himself out of his stupor, a fierce blush on his cheeks. Stop being a pervert and talk to her, already! He trotted after her, completely ignoring the bluish-gray unicorn taking his place on the stage.

Enigma caught up to her backstage, gently tapping her on the shoulder. “Pardon me, but...aren’t you Vinyl Scratch?”

She looked to him, lowering her shades and revealing a pair of magenta eyes, narrowed and staring right at him. “You aren’t supposed to be back here.” She strode over to him, looking him over, pointedly glaring at his butler’s uniform. “...great, another high-and-mighty pony...what, are you here to tell me that my music’s offensive?” She stepped in front of him, frowning deeply and motioning to his 3D glasses. “You think that makes you cool? Filly, please! My best friend’s granny has better shades to help her read.”

“...did you just rap at me? Because that was-” He froze, realizing just what she called him. Now, the red pegasus was willing to put up with most insults (mostly because they went over his head), but the stress of the day finally got to him. He growled, butting his head up against hers, eyes narrowed behind the novelty glasses. “I’m. Not. A filly. I’m a stallion.” He backed up, shaking his head and sheepishly grinning. “I was going to say that I’m supposed to help you with something. Do you have any problems with your...um...” He paused, trying to recall what the blue unicorn from before had told him.

She didn’t give him a chance, though, smacking the back of his head. “I don’t want help, bro! For all I care, you can go put your ear up against my bass cannon!” She tossed an empty bottle at him. “Beat it!” She shook her head, opening up another bottle and drinking that. “...Luna damn it, this is the sorry pony I’m supposed to fall for?”

...‘pony I’m supposed to fall for?’ What does she mean by- He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t have time to react. The glass container bounced off his face, landing on the ground and joining a number of others. Shocked, he realized that all of them were alcoholic - hard cider, at that. “...how is she able to walk?” ...don’t let her end up like your grandsire. He looked up, a newfound determination in his eyes. “I don’t care if you don’t want help. You need it, and I will do my best to provide it.”

She stared at him blankly, most likely wondering what was wrong with him. She raised her hoof to her face, groaning softly. “...you aren’t going to give this up, are you?” He shook his head, the determined look still there. She sighed, putting her bottle down on a table. “Then we decide this my way. Come here tomorrow morning.” A snide smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Who knows, you may just be a great entertainer.”

Enigma blinked, a grin slowly growing on his face. “Really? Maybe that’ll be my talent!” He glanced at his flank, frowning slightly. “Luna knows I haven’t tried it yet...” He was brought out of his thoughts with a flick of his ear.

Vinyl frowned deeply at him, a bemused look on her face. “You seriously didn’t catch that sarcasm?” She turned away, digging through a shelf behind her.

“...what’s sarcasm?”

She jolted, bumping her head on the shelf above her. “Buck!” She groaned, pulling her head out of the bookcase, a hardback in magical tow following her. “You need this book. Badly.” She threw it at him, hard.

In a slight panic, he held his hooves up to protect his face, squeezing his eyes shut. There was silence for a few moments, and he peeked open one maroon eye. He had caught the book between his hooves. Carefully, he turned it, reading the cover out loud. “...‘Body Language, Sarcasm and You’...” Shrugging, he tucked it into his saddlebag and turned to leave.

Vinyl called after him, wanting to make sure he remembered. “Remember, bro. Tomorrow morning. If you’re late, you forfeit!”

He left the club, a single thought dominating his mind. ...forfeit what, exactly?


Thanks to raybony for helping me flesh out the storyline for this (if only by letting me bounce ideas off of him)!

I apologize for the confusion caused by the last chapter, but I was trying to build up to this chapter, the one with Vinyl Scratch! So, yeah, she and Enigma didn’t really get along at first, since she’s a headstrong pony who didn’t want any help.

And yes, there’s a bit of my OC’s backstory that is slightly tragic, but I don’t think that makes him a Mary Sue or anything.

I’m off to take my Music Appreciation final! Wish me luck!

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~