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Vinyl Scratch/Octavia643 stories ·1,520 members

Bass Cello

Octavia and Vinyl Scratch are not from similar lines of work.
Scratch plays night clubs and kickin' parties, where Octavia plays concert halls and garden gatherings.
So how did they meet?

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 6 )

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Regidar

Regidar #1 · Nov 15th, 2012 · · ·

A good premise.

Psycho Shy

Psycho Shy #2 · Nov 15th, 2012 · · ·

"[...]but many more layers of sound had been added on top of it, all blending into a cacophonous sound that rocked the floor and everypony on it."
"The floor was empty, yet the pony at the booth was mixing as if there was a room full of dancing equestrians."
Consistency errors--easy to make, but one of the worst-looking.

Other than that...you've got the knack, I can tell. Characters are expressed well; you assume we're familiar with them, which is a good assumption to make. Details are well-written and pleasing to read through; nothing felt like it was dragging on.
Just one thing--notes from the author are best placed in the story's description. In addition, info about you in general can go in your profile. That 1,000-word limit could be quite challenging to reach, though...
All-in-all, you get an upvote from me.

TheRainbowTomboy

TheRainbowTomboy #3 · Nov 15th, 2012 · · ·

Texas is hot as hell in the summer. I should know. I live in it. Bro hoof!

Sipher

Sipher #4 · Nov 15th, 2012 · · ·

1622353
Thank you very much, I always appreciate constructive criticism, I normally put author's notes in the description, but like I said, it was just to reach 1000 words. I tried hard to add more content to it without making it drag on to reach the limit, but I couldn't top around 820 without harming the integrity of the work. Like I said, I'm still new at this, never know if I'll continue, thanks again!

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