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Birth of a Royal

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Who would think that Princess Luna would settle down? Have a family? Well, she is! When she meets a handsome stallion, a wedding is held, a foal to come. But what happens inside the walls of Canterlot Castle? Is it dangerous, joyfu!? Read it to find out!

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 7 )

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kittycats9

kittycats9 #1 · Nov 13th, 2012 · · · Prologue ·

This was copied and pasted from an iPad Notes. Thank you very much for reading my fan fiction!

CluelessLlama13

CluelessLlama13 #2 · Nov 15th, 2012 · · · Prologue ·

That was cute Didn't expect the whole Rainbow Dash's brother thing. lol

Pyromaniac

Pyromaniac #3 · Nov 15th, 2012 · · · Prologue ·

This feels quite a bit rushed, but I like it so far.

Marozia

Marozia #4 · Nov 15th, 2012 · · · Prologue ·

There aren't that many errors with spelling, punctuation, and grammar here, so that's a plus. However, this story is incredibly rushed, giving pretty much no back-story into any of what happens. If you ever feel like writing in the future, I recommend making the story longer and building up to this point instead of starting with it.

Stories are built upon several basic sections: an introduction, rising actions, a climax, falling actions, and a resolution.
Your story seems like it is a resolution to some hidden set of events. You didn't really describe anything that happened leading up to Luna getting pregnant, so why should I care about it?

In order for this type of plot to be interesting, it can't just be brought up out of nowhere as a tiny one-shot. It needs to have back-story, preferably a fairly large heaping of it, to make sense and be worth reading.

Auf Wiedersehen!

kittycats9

kittycats9 #5 · Nov 23rd, 2012 · · · Prologue ·

1620239 Yeah, I will add a bonus chapter soon. As soon as it's written, anyway, LOL. Anyway, thanks for pounding me for it I needed the criticism to get better.