If it happened in a work of fiction, most would call it a cheap deus-ex-machina. But Twilight wasn’t complaining, it had worked. The love her brother and her old foalsitter had for one another was somehow harnessed and had conveniently ejected the changelings from Canterlot, save for one.
Queen Chrysalis had been in front of a wall when the spell had gone off, causing her to become inordinately familiar with what the cross-section of polished marble looked like. Moaning, she attempted to pull herself from the Chrysalis-shaped hole she had become lodged in to no avail. It wasn’t like there was a point to it. She was weak, there would be no escaping Celestia’s wrath now.
Shining Armor and Princess Cadance hit the floor, looking at each other with warmth and affection. Twilight looked on with her friends in a happy daze, her heart melting. Then, however, she remembered her mentor.
The Power of Love had dissolved all the changeling slime in the area, giving Celestia her first rough landing since an unfortunate incident when she and Luna were fillies that they swore in royal blood never to indulge to anypony. Rushing to her, Twilight offered a foreleg to help her rise to her hooves.
“I’m fine,” she assured, “don’t worry about me. You have a real wedding to put together.”
Twilight smiled knowingly. She then turned to her friends. “Think we can get the wedding back up and running in three hours?”
“I know I can!” Applejack said happily.
“You betcha!” Rainbow Dash winked.
“Ooh! Ooh! I’ll get the party cannon ready!” Pinkie cheered.
“Well, I’ll have to fix those dresses you just threw aside...” Rarity grumbled.
“Um, I think I can get my birds ready...” Fluttershy mumbled, though a smile was across her face as well.
“What wedding?”
They all turned to the speaker, gaping at her. Which was understandable, because the speaker was the bride herself, who looked as if she had walked into a movie at the halfway point and was trying to figure out the plot.
“O...our wedding,” Shining said, sounding a little hurt. “The one you just fought to save? The one we set a date for a month ago?”
“Which I only found out about a week ago?” Twilight couldn’t help but snark.
“Shining...I’ve been in those caves for nine months.”
Everypony just gaped.
“What?" Shining Armor sounded like he had just been handed a death sentence. "That's...since our first date...what I thought was our first date. I...I’ve been brainwashed that long? That could give me a tumor or...”
Cadance put a hoof on her shoulder reassuringly. “Relax, I felt the amount of toxins in your brain. It couldn’t have been more than three weeks’ worth.”
“What? But...”
Celestia was looking equally stunned. She turned to Chrysalis, still wedged deeply into the wall. “You managed to act like Cadance until three weeks ago. Why such a break in character?”
“I told you, I was under a lot of stress! I was about to marry a wonderful stallion!”
Celestia, and everypony in the room, just looked at the Changeling Queen, gaping.
“...What?” Shining said softly, his eyes wide.
“It started off as just a way to get closer to Canterlot’s defenses, I admit it, but... it didn’t stay that way. Shining Armor was such a gentlecolt... he treated me right... I felt such strong and powerful love from him... I still went through with the invasion for the sake of my subjects, but my love was never fake! Shining Armor, I love you!”
...
“Okay... this is messed up,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Wait, wait,” Twilight said, turning to Cadance, “back in that cave, you said this day was going to be perfect. The day of which you dreamed since you were small? What was that about, if not marrying my brother?”
“Twilight, today was my birthday, remember? I wanted to invite you and all your friends to Canterlot to meet them, and then we could have cake and celebrate.”
“That sounds incredibly contrived,” Rarity sighed.
“But... ‘to care for, love, and cherish him each day’? What was that about?”
“I care for, love, and cherish all my friends... as friends.”
“‘All my thoughts he does consume’?”
“He was in mortal danger, Twilight. Of course all my thoughts would be on him.”
“So what was that about wedding bells ringing?"
Cadance twirled some hair around her hoof. “Well... I’m in love with somepony, and I was going to confess it.”
“With me! Me, right?” Shining Armor said hopefully.
“No, Shiny!” Chrysalis said, tears in her eyes. “I love you!”
“Then why’d you brainwash him?” Celestia demanded.
“My subjects needed food. He was still Captain of the Guard, I needed to keep him in the dark. Please... you’ve doomed the changeling race, don’t take him from me now! He’s all I have left!”
“Well, you’ll have no competition from me. I don’t love him,” Cadance said sadly. “At least, not in that way.”
“But... the spell!” Shining Armor said, shocked and hurt.
“I said ‘not in that way.’ I love you, Shiny... as a friend. You’re like a cool older brother.”
“What? But... I’m in love with you!”
“No, you’re in love with Chrysalis... apparently.”
“She forced me to love her!”
“No, I never did,” Chrysalis pleaded. “You proposed to me all on your own. You loved me! We were meant to be!”
“But... you’re a changeling and he’s a pony!” Pinkie said, as confused as everypony else.
“True love knows no boundaries!”
“...Aww, that’s sweet,” the earth pony sighed.
“Pinkie!” Twilight snapped.
“I’m sorry, Shiny,” Cadance apologized again. “I’m in love, but... it’s not with you. The truth is, my feelings are for somepony else. And after spending the last several months fighting for my life, eating nothing but the gruel the changelings gave me, I can’t hide them anymore.”
With that she trotted down the stairs, toward where Twilight and Celestia were standing.
“Cadance, I...” Shining stuttered, tears in his eyes. He brought a hoof to his head, he looked dizzy.
“How could you do this?!” Twilight demanded. “You broke my brother’s heart!”
What happened next surprised not only Twilight, but everypony else present. She put a hoof under Twilight’s chin and made her look into her eyes. “I guess we always hurt the ones we love.”
And then she kissed her.
It was a deep kiss.
With tongue.
She pulled away with dreamy love-filled eyes.
Twilight pulled away with wide, terrified eyes, eyes that matched everypony else in the room. Even Chrysalis looked a little disturbed.
"...I take it back, this is messed up," Rainbow Dash corrected.
And then both Sparkle children fainted.
Well, here it is. This first chapter is short, I know, but this won't be a trend. Future chapters will be longer, and the next will be up very, very soon.
defender2222 came up with the concept of: What if Shining Armor never dated Cadance? What if it was really Chrysalis he had fallen in love with the whole time?
I thought about it. What's the only way that could possibly be worse for Shining Armor? Answer: Cadence was in love with somepony else. Not only that, but it was a mare. And who would be the worst mare she could love?
Suddenly it all came together. I asked for the idea because 1. it was hilarious, and 2. it was a good way to make fun of the abundance of femslash in MLP fanfiction. I have a ton of stuff planned for this fic, but I'm warning you: don't take a single piece of this seriously. It's just going to get even crazier .
I don't think I even.... but I might.
Oh goodness, I can't wait. This chapter was entertaining, and the rest is bound to be good.
I have not seen this before you have intrigued me Go on O.O
Yeah... after reading your comment. I think I'm going to skip this story. Bet it'll be awesome through! Thumbs up just for the concept!
Rainbow has it - This is so messed up!
I love it!
backyardchickens.com/forum/uploads/64972_awkward_pony.gif
Well, this was one of those moments...
I read the entire chapter with a poker face, reading through the absurdity of it all. But the moment I finished, I busted out laughing.
So, what more do you got? I'm a little bit scared
I.... I... I don't even know!
P.S. please continue.
I had a sorta similar concept soon after Canterlot Wedding, except further back in time. Shining and Twilight never met the real Cadance, there is a skeleton of a 5-year-old alicorn in the mines.
alright, you earned my fav and updates through emails.
Ermagerd! I'm loving this so far. "Favorite foal to sit for" indeed...
i.qkme.me/36fjxr.jpg
I'm honestly surprised it took this long for me to come across a Cadance/Twilight story that didn't involve a threesome with Shining Armor.
Let me try to keep track of all of this. So Chrysalis loves Shining, Shining loves Cadence, and Cadence loves Twilight? This should be interesting.
Good beginning, I was laughing most of the way through. Keep up the good work!
Ok, you caught my attention enough that it has been added to my read list.
Now that was hilarious. This story is going to be wonderful, I can already tell.
1604599 "Chrysalis was in love with somepony else." Normally I wouldn't offer suggestions for comment typos, but as its the very first comment you may want to fix it.
Everyone's a changeling. Even me.
Even you!
WHIPLASH
I don't even...
This is better than the synopsis made me think it would be.
I almost wasn't this one a shot... I'm glad I did!
Oh man. That gives a whole new reason to why cadence was so eager to do that little rhyme with twilight now...
Highly amusing and looking forward to more!
It is a very short chapter, but sure full of suprcied.
As much as I do not like romance part in fanfic ( especialy between 2 mares ), I still find this chapter amusing.
Is it odd that I actually want things to work out between Shining Armor and Chrysalis?
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSIsMjAxMi8xMC8yNS8xN180OF8zNV82MTZfMTMyMzA5X19VTk9QVF9fBjoGRVQ/132309__safe_queen-chrysalis_shining-armor_hug_pixiv_artist-kajiura.jpg
My Alt. Universe OTP.
so, let me get this straight:
Cadence ♥ Twilight,
Twilight ♦ Cadence, (not entirely according to the actual rules, but the best I have for their relationship atm.)
Chrysalis ♥ Shining, and
everyone ♠ Chrysalis.
This is so. bucking. weird.
Followed and upvoted.
Oh man, I've been waiting for something like this. Can't wait to read more!
Oh, I need more of this.
I love this story.
This is... I don't even know what this is. But I like it.
Well you and defender2222 both do good work, so... what the heck, I'll favorite this, see where it goes.
I am so excited for this story. It has great potential.
Yeah, I am to blame for this. I accept... well, not full credit since Darth did most of the work. I am the fic's daddy and he is the mama (yeah, I went there).
Now can we reveal the sexual overtones to the little nursery rhyme (You don't want to know what it means when a ladybug 'shakes')
1604599
I think you meant Cadence
W-What, B-B-B-B, I don't know even what to say except maybe this:
I think I thought the phrase "didn't see that coming" like three times while reading this, and laughed out loud about five. "Waht a twist" doesn't even begin to describe it. Ridiculous concept, so much promise for hilarity, and written by an exceptional author?? Like, upvote, fav, mustache, whatever. MOAR.
And my brain is now full of wut... I LOVE IT THOUGH!
Oh man, this is gonna get really crazy, really fast...
1616018
And Twilight is COMPLETELY freaked out by this whole thing.
1616754 Indeed!
1604599
Well, thought this was going to be a new chapter of About Last Night, but I see I was wrong...
A little short as you said, but also seems kinda bland. Just due to lack of detail I guess and like Honeymoon, how confusing this seems to be and how casual some of the characters seem to be (like Celestia and Mane 6 not being hostile toward Chrysalis, if they knew she was still there before she spoke up and how'd the spell work, if they didn't truly love each other in the same way?). If Chrysalis didn't put her in the caverns, who did? And almost thought the worst mare comment was like if she loved Chrysalis herself or some other baddie. But daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn... So Cadence loves Twilight? And Chrysalis loves Shining Armor? This is going to get SO awkward super fast, especially for the parents and siblings, I'd think. Well, even though this chapter didn't really draw me in, I like the premise of this and chalk this up as another story I'm tracking by you!
Epic story is epic. I love it. The part at the end where they just fainted...
So, Chrysalis is kinda... adorable, I think. I can't wait to see more of this story. Now, if Shining would just get over the whole "She's a changeling" thing...
Oh the dramas, they are delicious.
I have no words. Faved, and upvoted.
*sees incomplete* You mean this isn't just a oneshot? *Fist pump*
But please, don't let things get too absurd or OOC. Don't lower yourself to the likes of Art Inspired, who come up with a good idea and ruin it with stupidity and blatantly OOC characters. I don't think you will though, Families and Post Nuptials prove you're too good an author to do that.
This is so fucking hilarious. 1616289 You're not the only one man. Cute picture by the way.
Hahaha I love it!
1615946
this is my face
and i love it
Huh?
Wait ! .. Wha?
ummm... but ...
I think my mind just broke ...
it feels ... GOOD!
Yes, most delicious. Please continue.
I've been waiting for someone to do Twidance fic. This will be deliciously funny and awkward.