When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me,
I know you understood,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hoof,
and said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had
If I could re-live yesterday
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne.
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hoof
And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
Last chapter of the week. to much HW so Ill write something in my spare time but this is all I got
Enjoy
1733560
xD I know I`m working on a big chapter as we speak
This one I took a little more time on xD
and I know you don't, but when I can I will try to put out one or two stories a day, if can
and thank you
I really enjoyed some of these Well, as much as you can 'enjoy' sad/dark, anyway.
My only suggestion would be to add more length if possible. You've got some great plot structures, but I feel as though some of the emotions aren't as played out as they could be
Great job!
1737623
Thanks
Each story will have a different length and some might be really short, but I assure you that longer stories will come... when I get some new Ideas
If you have any you would like to share, I`m all open to new ideas,
1747514 Thanks
I`ll work on the flaws and fix what I can
Once again, a couple of mentions of "hoof" are the only thing that let me know this was a pony story. Still a good section. You seem to be better at poems.
Overall thoughts: You do a pretty decent job of being sad with OCs. The errors made the story feel less serious, and it seems like your editor didn't work very hard. Just keep working, and you'll get better with practice.
1747543
I only had an editor for the first chapter so don`t blame him for any obvious errors on the chapters after that,