• Member Since 10th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 14th, 2018

XiphosDelta


E

Banished from her kingdom to an unknown world, Princess Luna is discovered by Tom, a reserved kid with a thirst for knowledge. Together, they take on unusual situations and find out more about themselves and life—and companionship.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 16 )

i can only imagine where this story is going to go. There are a few errors,:derpyderp2: but nothing too bad.
I might check this out again sometime.

Seems pretty good.

Faving it.

putting this on my read later list.

I'd like to acknowledge Raikoh-illust of deviantart.com for the cover artwork. Huge props to you, dude! :pinkiehappy:
Check out this guy's gallery. Pretty awesome artwork!! :coolphoto:

http://raikoh-illust.deviantart.com/

Okay, aside from a few typos-New paragraph for a new speaker. ALWAYS.

Seems like it might be interesting. Tracking.

This.
Now this, is an interesting Luna fic.

Tom rocks
I'm sorry, but I had to say it

1609141 Would very much appreciate it if you could point out the typos for me via PM. About the paragraphing in my story (or in this chapter), I thought it best that the story should, at the very least, look clean. IMHO, I find it tiresome to read paragraphs that are longer than they should be. But, there is nothing bad about that. It's still a work in progress, though, and still subject to further editing. Nice hearing from you, f0xhole, and thanks again!

hurry with new chapters please:pinkiehappy:

1611888 Hahaha. Good one. Tom is full of surprises as this story goes. So, expect more from him soon. Saw what you did there, though. :rainbowlaugh:


1617301 I appreciate the enthusiasm, man. Now, if only I have a lot of time to write and if only my course was not that hectic. But, I'll make it a point to write on my spare,spare time.

The dialogue is confusing to read. English conventions state there should be a new line for each change in speaker.

"Rather than like this," person 1 began. "Which is badly done," Person 2 finished.

It should be:

"This is much better," Person 1 said with a grin.

"I concur," Person 2 agreed.

As an example.

1662864 Duly noted. Thanks for pointing it out.

1663319 Glad that you liked it! Thanks! :twilightsmile:

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