• Published 12th Nov 2012
  • 2,917 Views, 56 Comments

Sincerely, Your Former Roommate - Fiddlebottoms



The prehistory of Equestria as told via post-it notes

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Epilude

... And thus, the last note concludes. The paper is ragged at the lower edge where it brushes the floor, hanging as it does off the bottom of the refrigerator door. There is nothing else of history in this abandoned place, just dust and a few take-out menus.

On the table lays a single piece of paper, informing the remaining occupant that her rent is overdue and that she has 24 hours to vacate the premises or pay the total rent plus late fees. With no companions left to rely on, one can only conclude that she vacated for more humble dwellings.

No historian has ever been able to determine why these notes were left completely intact, displaying a rainbow of passive-aggression and bitterness. Perhaps, it was to serve as a warning to future generations about the dangers of indirect communication? A cautionary tale for which three potential friends payed dearly. How differently might the history of this abandoned place have played out had they just discuss their differences reasonably?

Or maybe people are just lazy and don't clean up after themselves when they move out.

Isn't that right, Lewis? Guess what? I gave all your shit away. Including that violin you paid $500 for. Yeah, the one you kept reminding me not to mess with despite the fact that I NEVER MESSED WITH YOUR STUFF, EVER.

But someone else is messing with it now.

Because. I. Gave. It. Away.

Suck on it, Lewis. Suck on it till it's dry.

Sincerely,

Your Former Roommate

Comments ( 36 )

First and last time I will ever use GIMP to create a cover image. You may praise and fellate my 1337 drawing skillz.

1602142 FELLATION BEGINNING!

I listened to Pink Floyd the whole time. No regrets.

So the lesson here is to not have roommates?

This made me laugh so hard. Seriously. xD

Lol this reminds me of my roommate and I.

1602860
I'm still not sure if Discord was honestly incredulous, or deliberately being a prick.

1602849
Which Pink Floyd? I prefer the couple albums Waters took the lead on (The Wall & Final Cut), but I'm moody sort.

1602887
Theoretically, the lesson would be about talking about your problems openly instead of resorting to childish tactics every time you have a disagreement. However, seeing as I have done the latter more often than the former, yeah.
A couple years back I decided it was worth a few hundred bucks a month just to not have other people hanging around.

1603016
I do still have the broom handle. Not sure what I'm gonna do with it, but I wouldn't recommend using it for ... that. Not very sanitary.

1603856 Half of "Wish You Were Here" and Half of "Animals". I was just finidhing up Have a cigar, and I'm sorta a slow reader with music on, so I was just about finished with Dogs once I was done.

1602849

I listened to motherfucking Nightwish.

Anyway, funny story. Makes me feel better about being a hermit.

1605421 Pink Floyd is better, fool.

1605436

Not for a high-octane thriller like this story. I was on the edge of my seat.

Once again a highly amusing story, and told in an original method. Have a thumb and a :moustache: good sir.

...Wait. Who's Lewis?

i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j412/bookplayer/ThankYoucopy.jpg
Your story was added to The Dreamers in the folder Dreams of Laughter.

This is the worst/best sillery. Thumbs up.

I almost wish you would continue with Sombra, but I guess he didn't have enough personality in the show.

1606967
Alias for a former roommate.
It was a joke-attempt. The story seems to be leading up to a sad moral about the importance of getting along, and how passive-aggressive notes and such can escalate and ruin relationships, and then in the last 100 words the train completely derails.
I like stories where there is a very clear moral, but the characters (in this case the narrator) don't get it.

1604635
She was drawing butts all over the place. BUTTS! If anything, the sentence was too lenient.

1605446
I know. I was somewhat worried the mods would insist it have a Mature rating, for how graphic and intense it was.

1607288
Your welcome, and you guys seem like interesting folks.

1607406
I've been twiddling with this for about a month (the first note I wrote was Celestia's one about the moon still being in the sky, I did that back in October), adding a hundred words or so at a time then forgetting for a while.
And, yeah, I held out until Sunday to publish because I was hoping I could fit Sombra in somewhere.
Unfortunately, Sombra didn't offer as much potential as Discord or Luna nee Nightmare Moon. All I could come up with was, "he smokes a lot of cigars."

i.imgur.com/39z3E.jpg

This is your fault.

1607786
Do you think I could get away with making that my profile image?

1607813
For a site based on a show that lets you see big naked asses constantly, it'd be pretty hypocritical for the authorities to have a problem with it. You know how authorities are, though. It's always something with them.

1607848
It is done.
THE MOON SHALL NEVER SET!

That was hilarious!

Ezn

Seattle's Angels led me here, and I was greatly amused. I kinda felt like the prose bits were somewhat on the weak and annoying side (that whole stationary dating joke rather jarred with the much funnier exact amount of time joke that followed it), but the ending did make me smile. Thank you for writing.

Very hilarious stuff. Many thanks.

Comedy gold. My thanks to you.

Even Gods can't stand each other.....how tragic, but funny as buck:rainbowlaugh: Loved it:pinkiehappy:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Hilarity of the highest degree. :)

Absolutely hilarious. One question, though. Why are some of your drawings replaced with advertisements?

2610933
They should not have been.
I recently moved them to be hosted from Imgur, but I don't think they do sleazy shit like that.
If anyone else happens by and is getting this, please tell me so I can find a better solution.

this is so bucking hilarious :pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:

1602815 Hopefully it's not still going on?

4197900 for Fiddles, it shall never end
;_;7

Only found one typo:

How differently might the history of this abandoned place have played out had they just discuss their differences reasonably?

Should be "discussed."

1604372

I'm sorta a slow reader with music on,

I still thought you were talking about the blowjob.

1607406
He could have been the landlord

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