Months later, and its just a bunch of vignettes and exposition stapled together. I don't know why this chapter was so hard to write. I'm not much fond of it either, since it's mostly filler and setting up for future chapters, but that's the nature of slice-of-life stories, I guess.
The common ponies not having a marriage ceremony (or marriage in general) was inspired by a post Anonauthor left at the now defunct heroku Xenophilia page. I've quoted it below:
A big part of marriage for humans is the fact that power and wealth has been historically passed down from father to son, for the most part, so issues like bastardy and the identity of a particular child's father is of enormous importance. With a female-dominated species, that's of far less concern; there's never any real question about who a child's *mother* is. Fathers are a major caregiver and a strong influence on a growing child, but who a particular foal's sire is is a matter of less concern than who its mother is. As such, I suspect relationships would be a bit more... flexible. The way I'm doing it, there's two kinds of relationships; temporary and permanent. Actual, formal marriages are mostly government concerns, issues of power and nobility and tying houses together and that kind of thing, or the provenance of groups that practice monogamy. Rainbow *already* thinks that her relationship with Lero is a permanent one; she's given him an imperishable piece of herself, and she subconsciously wishes he could do the same. They'll probably have a discussion about that at some point.
Next chapter should be here shortly (I mean it!), and it involves an event that was hinted at here, namely, the fight between Lyra and Berry Punch . It'll also have some events during this chapter from Lyra's point of view.
Future chapters will focus on Honeydew, Celestia and Luna confronting the Runner in the Woods, and Twilight's play, based on what Lero can remember of Sartre's No Exit, ponified, and the escaped archetype makes its appearance.
5212101 Future chapters will focus on: 1) Honeydew, 2) Celestia and Luna confronting the Runner in the Woods, and 3) Twilight's play, based on what Lero can remember of Sartre's No Exit, ponified, and 4) the escaped archetype makes its appearance.
I am glad to see this continued. It seems a fair bit interesting, and well constructed.
As an aside, I would like to see Rainbow Dash get one over on Lyra, just a prank or something. Martial arts masters are no less fallible than anybody else.
5212016 I never purely planned (at least, not after the second chapter) for it to just be a bunch of oneshots. If that's what readers think, then I messed up on my description.
5212864 It's more like a fairly loose arc than a plot. Maybe we could call it "tighter continuity between chapters"? I wonder if I should change the title, Cultural Norms, to something else.
5212891 But they still have some conversations about how their world works with each other. I don't mind the mini arc that kind of sprang from it, it was just kind of surprising that this might become some thing the characters have to deal with later.
5214901 Well, I haven't been on in a while so some things might just be something I've forgotten or something you're leading up to, so if anything I list comes under those two situations then fair enough.
First bit was when Discord and Luna were talking to the pigs, and pigs being natural mediums, as well as one pig being a "godling". I'm not sure why they're asking pigs about something, how the pigs are natural mediums and (again, maybe something I've forgotten) but what's a godling pig? Is it like the deer from Beaverton? Was that a godling too?
Next is when Berry goes to get a massage from Lero and she starts asking about gossip and wing massages, I'm not sure what that had to do with... anything. I can understand if you want that to build to something but even as build up, it seems too ambiguous.
Next is this bit.
The twin doors opened, and Berry Punch sauntered in. The doors shut behind her as she stood, viewing her two sovereigns.
“Sorry, I forgot your wheelchair,” Berry said.
"My... wheelchair?"
"I mean, it wasn't me."
“What is 'it'?” Luna said.
“What do you got?” Berry said. “I wasn’t even there. Oh, pardon me.” Berry bowed low, her eyes closed, and then stood. “Didn’t mean to be seditious. That comes when I find the Alicorn Amulet. Whoops, did I say that out loud?”
What... What was that? What did any of that mean? Is that build up for something? If it is then again, it's too ambiguous. I don't understand a single bit of this dialogue or any relevance it has.
Another bit was the bit was where Lyra couldn't hear properly, was that always there or did I miss something?
The last is one thing that I had to reread about 5 times and I still didn't get it.
“Mornin’,” he said, blinking. He took a sip of his coffee and glanced up at Lero as he passed by.
“So what?” Spike said. “I got two.”
What in the name of hell possessed Spike to say that? Lero was naked ok but, why did he say that?! It's like if I was talking to you, got out my phone and you just say "So what? I got an iPhone 6." What would cause anyone to just say something like that right out of no where??
I think my main issue with the Berry Punch stuff is that she's so nonsensical about a lot of what she says that I don't know what bits are her being serious and what bits are her just being kooky.
First bit was when Discord and Luna were talking to the pigs, and pigs being natural mediums, as well as one pig being a "godling". I'm not sure why they're asking pigs about something, how the pigs are natural mediums and (again, maybe something I've forgotten) but what's a godling pig? Is it like the deer from Beaverton? Was that a godling too?
The godling the pigs were referring to was Discord. I described a pig having "a deer antler and a goat horn", and also having "egg yolk eyes". That was supposed to be Discord taking a form of a pig in an attempt to cause chaos, not some godling pig. The pigs, of course, knew it was Discord (whom they call godling). I'll need to make that more explicit, it seems.
Next is when Berry goes to get a massage from Lero and she starts asking about gossip and wing massages, I'm not sure what that had to do with... anything. I can understand if you want that to build to something but even as build up, it seems too ambiguous.
It doesn't mean very much. It's just Berry making conversation with Lero. It was supposed to imply that Lero wasn't angry at Berry for the fight she had with Lyra, and was willing to make normal conversation with her.
Berry Punch's meeting with Celestia and Luna
The wheelchair bit is a callback to earlier in the chapter, when Berry claimed the hospital wheelchair for Celestia. The "I didn't do it" is a joke on how criminals or wrongdoers will say "I didn't do it", apropos of nothing, to people in authority. They just assume they're in trouble, and Berry was making that joke. It went over their heads, though, since that's not the reason why they're there. I wonder if I should add a scene where Berry is being summoned to appear before the diarchs, but that would probably be superfluous.
What in the name of hell possessed Spike to say that?
...yeah, this one is a bit indefensible, I'm afraid. Spike is grumpy from having little sleep, irritated at having to work that morning, and, as Dash says, is a teenager (so he's having hormonal problems). This was how I tried to justify Spike saying something OOC, but I may need to just rewrite that little scene.
Thank you very much for your comments. It looks like vagueness is a big problem I need to be aware of. I appreciate you sharing your problems with this chapter.
5215290 Ok, it just need to be clearer that Discord was pretending to be a pig because, and I don't know if I can speak for everyone, but I thought it was something like that weird deer from before. The meeting between Berry Punch and Lero makes more sense in that context, just might need a hint at any point saying that she hopes he isn't pissed and any confusion would probably vanish. I also get about the wheelchair bit and the "I didn't do it!" but it just seemed like, why or how would the princesses know about Berry trying to get away with a wheel chair when Berry is pretty eccentric so you'd kind of expect her to do something weird.
As for Spike... Fuckin' moody teens with their detachable penes.
I'm glad to have helped if any and thanks for hearing me out Been a huge fan of Xenophilia for the longest time, reread it plenty of times so I'm happy to know I could help in any way Hope to see more of Xeno soon.
For some reason, I focused on the conversations during the massage. It's nice to see Lero, his job, and how other ponies treat him. Though I was also tickled to see how Celestia and Luna followed up on the crazy claim from Berry. It just seems so in character. I'm not sure if it was intended, but I liked the pig's conversation best. The archetype is so utterly alien it's undetectable or it's not around most of the time. Kinda curious of what it can do, with the hints of cthulu-ish power and pseudo-sentience.
5219488 She wasn't deaf-mute. When Berry Punch said, "I'm glad your horn is better", Amethyst told Berry that Lyra was too far away to hear her. That being the case, then Berry is also too far away to hear Lyra. That's why Berry only saw Lyra moving her lips instead of hearing her voice; they were too far away to hear each other, though they both understood what was said.
I was telling this from Berry's perspective, so it looked like Lyra was mouthing to her, instead of just talking (because, again, she couldn't hear her).
I like how Pinkie appears to be showing up on the porcine psychic network as a "pink deep well" that merits mention in the same sentence as an alicorn and a draconequus. I also like that there's a porcine psychic network, because that's both a fascinating idea and a fantastic phrase.
There's actually a lot to like in this chapter, from the frivolity between the herd and between sisters to the sheer amount of background events. At first glance, this is a seemingly random assortment of slices of life. A deeper look shows a lot at work under the surface, both mundane and supernatural.
5224424 I don't see that fight as happening, though I'm not saying it won't. Berry and Lyra are philosophically opposed; Lyra believes in a circular universe where everything is connected and one, so that attaining balance, or stillness, with the universe is priority. Berry considers the universe to be pointless and random, and attempting to find balance in it is meaningless and absurd. Lyra tries to become one with the universe, Berry constantly fights against it. Berry doesn't exactly have the same antipathy with Dash's viewpoint as she does Lyra's, so a fight between those two are unlikely.
I could be wrong about Lyra. She's the hardest of the Xenophilia characters for me to write. I can't really 'grasp' her.
5226677 I'm aware of the relationship those two had, but Berry did mention asking Rainbow to fight her. Though while Berry might be able to fight Lyra to a semi-draw, I would bet my money on Dash beating Berry.
5231112 I guess it depends on how OP you want to make unicorn magic. I always saw Still Way as the practice of throwing your opponent off balance, they are never in control. Berry being a drunken master is always off balance so harder to fight. Dash on the other hand is all power and speed. Boulder punching mach speed power, I can see how Lyra can beat it (unless Dash is feeling lethal), but not Berry.
Months later, and its just a bunch of vignettes and exposition stapled together. I don't know why this chapter was so hard to write. I'm not much fond of it either, since it's mostly filler and setting up for future chapters, but that's the nature of slice-of-life stories, I guess.
The common ponies not having a marriage ceremony (or marriage in general) was inspired by a post Anonauthor left at the now defunct heroku Xenophilia page. I've quoted it below:
Next chapter should be here
shortly (I mean it!), and it involves an event that was hinted at here, namely, the fight between Lyra and Berry Punch . It'll also have some events during this chapter from Lyra's point of view.Future chapters will focus on Honeydew, Celestia and Luna confronting the Runner in the Woods, and Twilight's play, based on what Lero can remember of Sartre's No Exit, ponified, and the escaped archetype makes its appearance.
I don't really know what happened...but I had a lot of fun reading it.
5211516 Wait, what? I thought this entire story was an anthology of oneshots centered around culture.
Discord is really missing out if he's not going to see the play. Too bad for him.
Are all three of them confronting the Runner or is that two different situations?
"How do you know she is a guest?"
"She looks like one."
5212101 Future chapters will focus on:
1) Honeydew,
2) Celestia and Luna confronting the Runner in the Woods, and
3) Twilight's play, based on what Lero can remember of Sartre's No Exit, ponified, and
4) the escaped archetype makes its appearance.
90% on that anyway.
I have good curiosity because Lyra and Berry.
They had a fight and most importantly what caused this fight
I am glad to see this continued. It seems a fair bit interesting, and well constructed.
As an aside, I would like to see Rainbow Dash get one over on Lyra, just a prank or something. Martial arts masters are no less fallible than anybody else.
Okay, I was expecting some more "cultural discussions" and not an entire plot that apparently appeared from no where.
5212016
I never purely planned (at least, not after the second chapter) for it to just be a bunch of oneshots. If that's what readers think, then I messed up on my description.
5212864
It's more like a fairly loose arc than a plot. Maybe we could call it "tighter continuity between chapters"? I wonder if I should change the title, Cultural Norms, to something else.
5212925
Tru dat.
5212891
But they still have some conversations about how their world works with each other. I don't mind the mini arc that kind of sprang from it, it was just kind of surprising that this might become some thing the characters have to deal with later.
Am I the only one who's a bit lost on what's going on?
5214888
I'm getting the feeling people are confused with this chapter. What specifically makes you feel lost?
5214901 Well, I haven't been on in a while so some things might just be something I've forgotten or something you're leading up to, so if anything I list comes under those two situations then fair enough.
First bit was when Discord and Luna were talking to the pigs, and pigs being natural mediums, as well as one pig being a "godling". I'm not sure why they're asking pigs about something, how the pigs are natural mediums and (again, maybe something I've forgotten) but what's a godling pig? Is it like the deer from Beaverton? Was that a godling too?
Next is when Berry goes to get a massage from Lero and she starts asking about gossip and wing massages, I'm not sure what that had to do with... anything. I can understand if you want that to build to something but even as build up, it seems too ambiguous.
Next is this bit.
What... What was that? What did any of that mean? Is that build up for something? If it is then again, it's too ambiguous. I don't understand a single bit of this dialogue or any relevance it has.
Another bit was the bit was where Lyra couldn't hear properly, was that always there or did I miss something?
The last is one thing that I had to reread about 5 times and I still didn't get it.
What in the name of hell possessed Spike to say that? Lero was naked ok but, why did he say that?! It's like if I was talking to you, got out my phone and you just say "So what? I got an iPhone 6." What would cause anyone to just say something like that right out of no where??
I think my main issue with the Berry Punch stuff is that she's so nonsensical about a lot of what she says that I don't know what bits are her being serious and what bits are her just being kooky.
5215135
The godling the pigs were referring to was Discord. I described a pig having "a deer antler and a goat horn", and also having "egg yolk eyes". That was supposed to be Discord taking a form of a pig in an attempt to cause chaos, not some godling pig. The pigs, of course, knew it was Discord (whom they call godling). I'll need to make that more explicit, it seems.
It doesn't mean very much. It's just Berry making conversation with Lero. It was supposed to imply that Lero wasn't angry at Berry for the fight she had with Lyra, and was willing to make normal conversation with her.
The wheelchair bit is a callback to earlier in the chapter, when Berry claimed the hospital wheelchair for Celestia. The "I didn't do it" is a joke on how criminals or wrongdoers will say "I didn't do it", apropos of nothing, to people in authority. They just assume they're in trouble, and Berry was making that joke. It went over their heads, though, since that's not the reason why they're there. I wonder if I should add a scene where Berry is being summoned to appear before the diarchs, but that would probably be superfluous.
...yeah, this one is a bit indefensible, I'm afraid. Spike is grumpy from having little sleep, irritated at having to work that morning, and, as Dash says, is a teenager (so he's having hormonal problems). This was how I tried to justify Spike saying something OOC, but I may need to just rewrite that little scene.
Thank you very much for your comments. It looks like vagueness is a big problem I need to be aware of. I appreciate you sharing your problems with this chapter.
5215290 Ok, it just need to be clearer that Discord was pretending to be a pig because, and I don't know if I can speak for everyone, but I thought it was something like that weird deer from before. The meeting between Berry Punch and Lero makes more sense in that context, just might need a hint at any point saying that she hopes he isn't pissed and any confusion would probably vanish. I also get about the wheelchair bit and the "I didn't do it!" but it just seemed like, why or how would the princesses know about Berry trying to get away with a wheel chair when Berry is pretty eccentric so you'd kind of expect her to do something weird.
As for Spike... Fuckin' moody teens with their detachable penes.
I'm glad to have helped if any and thanks for hearing me out Been a huge fan of Xenophilia for the longest time, reread it plenty of times so I'm happy to know I could help in any way Hope to see more of Xeno soon.
Nice followup chapter.
For some reason, I focused on the conversations during the massage. It's nice to see Lero, his job, and how other ponies treat him. Though I was also tickled to see how Celestia and Luna followed up on the crazy claim from Berry. It just seems so in character. I'm not sure if it was intended, but I liked the pig's conversation best. The archetype is so utterly alien it's undetectable or it's not around most of the time. Kinda curious of what it can do, with the hints of cthulu-ish power and pseudo-sentience.
Heh. I, for one, love the wheelchair brick joke.
I don't know if I've missed something though, but what was with deaf-mute Lyra at the end?
5219488
She wasn't deaf-mute. When Berry Punch said, "I'm glad your horn is better", Amethyst told Berry that Lyra was too far away to hear her. That being the case, then Berry is also too far away to hear Lyra. That's why Berry only saw Lyra moving her lips instead of hearing her voice; they were too far away to hear each other, though they both understood what was said.
I was telling this from Berry's perspective, so it looked like Lyra was mouthing to her, instead of just talking (because, again, she couldn't hear her).
5219568
Huh. I doubt I'd be able to read lips of someone too far away to hear
Had to be said.
Nice to see this continued, one of my fav HIE series & always happy to see new chapters.
I'm a little sad we didn't get to see Lyra and Berry throw down, and what led up to it.
5221463
I agree. I'll be re-writing that scene.
Is it really that hard to understand what is going on?
Whatever, is there a chance Berry will try to fight Rainbow Dash?
I like how Pinkie appears to be showing up on the porcine psychic network as a "pink deep well" that merits mention in the same sentence as an alicorn and a draconequus. I also like that there's a porcine psychic network, because that's both a fascinating idea and a fantastic phrase.
There's actually a lot to like in this chapter, from the frivolity between the herd and between sisters to the sheer amount of background events. At first glance, this is a seemingly random assortment of slices of life. A deeper look shows a lot at work under the surface, both mundane and supernatural.
Loved it. Looking forward to more.
5221592
That'll come later.
5224424
I don't see that fight as happening, though I'm not saying it won't. Berry and Lyra are philosophically opposed; Lyra believes in a circular universe where everything is connected and one, so that attaining balance, or stillness, with the universe is priority. Berry considers the universe to be pointless and random, and attempting to find balance in it is meaningless and absurd. Lyra tries to become one with the universe, Berry constantly fights against it. Berry doesn't exactly have the same antipathy with Dash's viewpoint as she does Lyra's, so a fight between those two are unlikely.
I could be wrong about Lyra. She's the hardest of the Xenophilia characters for me to write. I can't really 'grasp' her.
5226677
I'm aware of the relationship those two had, but Berry did mention asking Rainbow to fight her. Though while Berry might be able to fight Lyra to a semi-draw, I would bet my money on Dash beating Berry.
5227168
That's interesting, because I feel different; Berry probably couldn't defeat Lyra in a life-or-death fight, but I think she could take Dash.
5231112
I guess it depends on how OP you want to make unicorn magic. I always saw Still Way as the practice of throwing your opponent off balance, they are never in control. Berry being a drunken master is always off balance so harder to fight. Dash on the other hand is all power and speed. Boulder punching mach speed power, I can see how Lyra can beat it (unless Dash is feeling lethal), but not Berry.
5231112
5232366
I gotta agree with Warpd's logic here.
Also, it's totally got the "Rock, Paper, Scissors" balance thing going on.
Dash beats Berry,
Berry beats Lyra,
Lyra beats Dash.
But Purple does not exist.
Then again, this is discord.
What do you think about this?
5288656
I'm fine with it, and I hope the readers enjoy it.
Huh, I missed the notification for this. Anyhoo, great as usual. The very-nearly-linear story-telling fits berry so well.
5334616
Glad you liked it.
It suddenly occurred to me that I probably should have asked your permission if I could use Star Sparkle's name in here, so uh... may I?
5335494 Sure. Why would I object?
5441192
Bon Bon is right, but I initially wrote it wrong. Rikmach pointed out the inconsistency, and I rewrote that section so it'd make more sense.
5441192
So... You're saying Bon Bon was not cognizant about her own physical state?
Doctor i think i might be a chaos god!
how can you tell?
RAINBOWS!!!!
*snicker*
But Dash, it could be worse. Cadence could be lecturing you about them.
... you didn't. ... I was expecting worse. At least he didn't break them off to use as throwing weapons.
Murphy's Law: 1, Rainbow Dash: 0.
I hope Dashie stays far away from the spa when this is happening.
I can't see Discord joining a union.
You have no idea.
Sorry I'm just not in gimp activities and stories. But nice story in a way?