Reunion
Love and Tolerance
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic © Hasbro & Lauren Faust
By: TOO S0BER
--***::: Chapter 5 :::***--
Reunion
“Ugh!” Ashley groaned in the back seat of the car next to me. “That has to be the most vile means of transportation ever!” the gray mare whined, my ears protesting against the constant banter. “How in the world did you put up with that?” she asked, and then sniffed at me, trying to detect whether I as atrocious or not.
We had left the house shortly after. I had walked next to Marcus while he toted a second bag of laundry over his shoulder, with Ashley tucked away inside. The human didn't do anything funny with her bag like he did when carrying me, perturbing me slightly; I let him know by bucking his shin a bit. To which he just smiled that troublemaker smile of his. I could see why it was funny though, and couldn't help but snicker when Ashley started voicing threats of death, doom, and promises of vengeance.
I cocked an annoyed eyebrow at her. “Well whining about it isn't going to help...”
“Whining?” Uh oh. “I am not whining. I am complaining. Do you want to hear whining?”
“No!” Marcus spoke up as he drove his SUV, on our way to my parent's house. “Oh God please no.” his silent smirk disappeared at the promise of whining examples. I cringed along with him, once Ashley started going it would be worse than nails on chalkboards! Ugh, I was getting a headache at the mere thought of it.
“No, no! That's okay.” I smiled nervously, waving my hooves to dismiss the dreaded demonstrations.
“Hmph,” Ashley turned her nose up, very ladylike. “Well maybe you shouldn't be so rude then.”
Well, I couldn't help but think she was kind of right. I knew from experience that riding in a bag of dirty laundry was no fun; my nose burned at the thought and I sneezed.
“I wonder if I could convince your mother to add in some designs,” Ashley pondered, eyes to the roof and a thoughtful hoof to her chin.
She went on to name countless little details and ideas about fashion that did little more than attempt to tranquilize my brain. Although, the thought of being 'rude' to the person I had affections for, felt like it would be a bad idea, so I focused intensely. I guessed pony ears must be more sensitive than a humans' own, as I didn't have much difficulty hearing her drone on about fashion this or that. It was listening that was difficult.
To assure her that I was paying attention, I nodded when it felt appropriate; the feint of a smile across my muzzle. Every now and then, through sheer instinct and much practice, I threw in a deceptively interested “Uh huh,” mixed with an “Oh...”
“That sounds like an excellent idea,” I added when she went on describing something for a pair of something else. “maybe we should wait until we get there?” I suggested, trying to steer the conversation away to a possibly more interesting subject.
“Oh very well,” Ashley looked downtrodden, and I almost regretted doing that to her. “perhaps you're right. I'll write them down in case she isn't home at the moment...” she paused and looked at her hooves in confusion. She huffed, “Dumb hooves. How am I supposed to write without fingers!?”
I honestly had no idea. Even texting was difficult without the bemoaned digits, recalling how long it took to just type one message on the phone with my nose. Damn it, I felt another sneeze coming on. Hope I'm not sick.
Achoo! Ugh.
My energy felt utterly drained from the sneeze, and I slumped in my car seat, feeling my eyes droop. The adrenaline from recent events must have sapped me more than I thought. Resigning to watch the traffic pass by with the occasional multi-story building swoosh on in the opposing direction. I'm reminded again of why I hated car trips.
Mercifully soon, though, the journey came to an end and I graciously stretched once Marcus's SUV came to a stop on the slanted driveway of my parent's home. The house wasn't as grand as Ashley's, for one it was just one story instead of two, and had less of a front yard. But it was far from a slum. Thanks to a 'housing association' every owner was held responsible for the upkeep of their home, and therefore the neighborhood as a whole always looked nice. Mom and Dad always liked it. Me? I liked the strip mall that was located, literally, around the corner.
The three of us proceeded up the concrete walkway, Ashley praising mother's gardening. The front yard always looked different every few months as my mother always changed the plant scheme when the older vegetation inevitably died. She wasn't a bad gardener, quite the opposite, but the weather here was just that harsh on plants. The gravel yard decorated with a collage of reds, blues, and purples this time from what appeared to be selections of flowers selected with care.
I glanced at the driveway, nearly forgetting to check. The only vehicle that occupied it was Marcus's. My parents must still be at their respective jobs, or maybe just out; hard to tell.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Oh it's –” Ashley started to say, and then sighed in frustration at her bare hoof. “half past hoof...” Marcus and I snickered.
“It's eleven thirty,” the human replied, pushing the shades on his nose up further with a finger.
Hmm, they're probably still in school then, I thought to myself. All the better, I don't need any of his shit right now...
Before leaving my apartment to head to Ashley's, I had Marcus take my set of keys, anticipating that we might come here – since he didn't have a set of his own to get us into their house. He opened the door and playfully bowed. Ash took it in stride and trotted in with her snout held high, feigning snootiness a little too well, me rolling my eyes as I followed; muttering 'smart ass' at him as I passed.
I yelped as the door suddenly clamped down on my rump.
I sat on the floor, rubbing my flanks with my hooves. “Why you...” I growled at him when he shut the door behind him.
He didn't bother to hide his smirk, but shrugged like he didn't do anything at all.
“You're despicable,” I said as I collected myself from the tiled floor. “you know that right.”
“Why, Marcus,” Ashley said a little too sympathetically. “that's no way to treat a lady.” I facehooved. And here I was, about to believe she was going to come to my rescue... stupid, stupid me.
“Oh, you're terribly right,” Marcus feigned shock, bringing his hands up to his mouth, and I glared at him. “where are my manners!”
“I hate you both,” glowering as both of my good friends roared with laughter. My mind thought of gruesome ways to absolutely murder them right now.
“Oh, lighten up ma'am,” Marcus continued the assault once he could breath again, wiping away a tear of amusement.
“Okay, let's give Samantha a break,” Ashley chimed in, gesturing at me with a hoof.
I bristled and blushed, eye threatening to break its socket once again, and I wondered if my wings would take flight of their own accord. The room felt suddenly hot as my fury spread from my face to the rest of my pony body. How dare they make fun of me, after all this bullshit happening right now, how can they make jokes about this!? They didn't care how I felt, as long as they could get a good laugh out of it! Clenching my teeth and eyes simultaneously, I felt my wings open with a whoosh.
“At least I don't have a freaky horn on my head!” I shouted through misty eyes, well beyond upset. The chuckling immediately died, and they both stared at me, surprised as hell at my outburst; but I wasn't quite done. “Don't ever call me Samantha! My name is Sam, God damn it!”
Finishing my rant, still breathing heavily, I stared at Ashley angrily as she stared back in shock. Soon after, the shock faded away and she touched the horn on her head with a hoof, growing more upset by the second at the reminder of her own situation. I glanced at Marcus, who wore a somber expression as he removed his dark sunglasses.
“Sam...” he said low.
“Don't Sam me,” I cut him off. “how can you just make jokes like that! I'm having a hard enough time as it is!” things have gone from bad to worse throughout the day. Surprise after shocking surprise and I was breaking down from it. In the back of my mind I knew their teasing was just light hearted fun, trying to make the best of a bad situation. But honestly, enough was enough.
Marcus pointed a finger in Ashley's direction, and I turned to look.
My anger and fury cooled faster than fresh forged metal in cold water. The girl I loved was crying, her eyes clenched shut as she whimpered loudly. Immediately I felt like a jerk. Whether it was justified or not was irrelevant now. I had upset my friend, my heart on its way to Australia now.
With conscious effort, I folded my wings back down and tried to think of something to say. Marcus strode up to her and knelt, placing his hand on Ash's small shoulder. Despite not requiring my glasses anymore, I felt blind. They were also just trying to deal with this crap too, and I took it too far. The teasing was just trying to alleviate tension. With a cool head, I recalled exactly what was said, and none of it elicited my behavior.
“Ash?” I said quietly, moving a bit closer. Scooting, she turned away from me. I got a look from Marcus. He didn't look angry. Hell, he never looked truly angry; he just looked... annoyed. I felt the sudden urge to lock myself in my room and be denied dinner. “Ash, look...” talking calmly. “I... I didn't mean it. I'm sorry.
“It's just...” I sighed, why couldn't this be easy? “everything that's going on. Waking up, finding all this out... wayyy too quickly, I just got a little stressed, okay? I'm sorry.” I reiterated my apology sincerely.
Ashley slowly turned her heartbreakingly sad gaze back to me. Wow, what I said really was that bad. For her sake and my own, I smiled weakly. It was only seconds, but it felt like an eternity as my heart was encased in ice, waiting for her response; any response. Wouldn't be surprised if she never wanted to speak to me again. Although I desperately hoped that wouldn't be the case, the mere thought chilling to the bone.
“I'm sorry too,” hubazzuwah!? “I shouldn't have pushed you like that. We've both been turned into these...” she gestured at herself and then at me. “things. I have a horn and you have wings. But...” Ashley paused, as though considering her next words. “you've been... changed in a way that I can scarcely imagine.” she was referring to me going from guy, to mare. My ears drooping at the reminder, shoulders slumping.
Marcus sighed and nodded in agreement. “Same here.” I nearly fell over, he practically never apologized for his shenanigans. “I took the goofing around a little too far. I thought that maybe I could help with this by fooling around.” now he looked downtrodden. Suddenly I thought this was confessions anonymous or something.
“Are you sorry for the laundry bag?” I shot him a wry smile.
He caught on quickly. “Let me think about that one...” he smirked, acting as thought it was a tough decision. “Mmmmm, nope.” Rolling my eyes, unable to keep from smiling. I glanced at Ashley, she was stifling her own laugh, drying the tears, and I admired her beautiful face. Her wonderful smile melted the ice around my heart.
Silently I vowed to watch my attitude. I wasn't going to let this break me apart from my friends. Truth be told, they may be all I have left, the future of everything else being dismally uncertain. Come hell or high water, I would support them; and my heart warmed further as I realized they would do the same for me.
“PONY!”
I half jumped out of my coat at the shrill voice that came from the kitchen. I turned towards the source and was tackled by a yellow blur, the wind knocked from my lungs, forcing a loud oomph as the brunt of the impact was weathered by nearby, soft furniture.
I saw stars, and oddly, small cyan pegasi with multicolored manes circling my vision, before blacking out. The last thing I recall was a finger poking me, and a familiar male voice stating, “I think he's dead...”
__---***::: <o> :::***---__
“Ohmygosh,” a young, squeaky voice chanted a little too loudly for my aching head. “ohmygosh, ohmygosh! Are you okay big brother? I'm so sorry!” a small, blond headed girl, hair tied in a ponytail and drooping over her shoulder, stood in my blurry vision, apologizing profusely.
I groaned. “Someone get the number of that linebacker...?” Honestly, I felt more like I was hit by a semi, even though it was a nine year old girl. Damn small pony body!
“I'm sorry!” the little blond schoolgirl, whom was my younger sister, Shelby, reiterated her apology once more. “Please don't be mad!” begging with her puppy eyes – my one weakness when it came to her. How could I stay mad at that face?
“Hello to you too, squirt.” I said, smiling at her as I sat up on my make-shift hospital bed (the couch). Disturbingly quickly, the sad face disappeared and was replaced by a crazy huge smile. She jumped in the air and pumped a fist as though to shout yes!.
“This is so awesome!” Shelby squeed, palms to her small cheeks. “My big brother is a pony!” and she laughed that cute little girl laugh. Well, glad to see someone is happy about this... kind of. Marcus sat on the opposing couch with his legs crossed, Ashley next to him, hooves curled underneath; both of them smiling warmly.
“So, you don't seem very surprised Shelby,” I cocked an eyebrow at her, still maintaining my grin. “how was school?” trying to change the subject for now.
“Oh, it was okay,” smiling widely still. “lots of kids were out sick today though. At least a third of my teacher's class. Dunno about the rest of the school. Even Terry wasn't there.” three guesses why Terry, one of Shelby's friends, and the rest of them weren't there. “I hope he isn't sick.” I momentarily gazed at Ashley, and she grimaced. If my suspicion was right, then kids were affected too. Oh boy...yay for another kettle of fish...
Although it wouldn't be that bad for Terry at least. Shelby and him were best friends; or at least the last time I checked, recalling a lengthy description of a sleepover not more than a month ago. And therefore he would have the support if needed.
I then asked her why she was home in the first place, as school should not have been dismissed for another three hours. The girl explained that that day was a half-day for school -- something about preparing some project.
“Big brother?” Shelby asked, knocking me from my thoughts about Terry and their elementary school.
“What's up?” I replied, and gave her my full attention.
Shelby seemed to be struggling with whatever was on her mind, scuffing her shoes on the floor, hazel eyes shifting. I smiled and placed a hoof on her shoulder, instantly that uncertainly seemed to lift. “Are you...” she paused, searching for the words. “are you still my brother, or are you my sister now?”
I fell over on the side of the couch, mentally reeling from the question. Honestly, it was a good question. Mentally, I still thought of myself as a guy; but physically I was the opposite. Matter of fact, how the hell could Shelby even tell the difference anyways?
I asked her how she even knew the difference, and Shelby looked at me, surprised and annoyed.
Huh?
“How can you not know?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow at me and frowned.
I didn't answer, sitting there dumbly staring at her. She sighed in annoyance, and made her way to the entertainment system. A few buttons and the screen jumped to life, displaying the main menu to one of the gaming consoles. Deftly, she rummaged through the menus and selected an icon I was quite familiar with: Netflix.
Using the controller, my little sister sorted through the lists upon lists of online stream capable movie titles. Until she found what she was looking for.
“A-ha!” she said smiling, and looked at me. Taking that as cue, I tuned my attention to the TV as one of the selections began to play.
A cheerful, musical beat filled the room as the cartoon picture of a very pink blimp soared above the clouds. I squinted, trying to make out the purple and green creatures moving around inside the balloon's basket. Before I could though, a rainbow smear suddenly drew the camera away. Replacing it was a very colorful, pastel town.
Two things crossed my mind. First, the creature in the blimp, and the others that now pranced and trotted across the screen were ponies. Colorful, pastel, cartoon ponies. Stallions, mares, fillies (how did I know that term?); the whole nine yards.
Second, I've seen this show before; a long time ago, likely before it was even available on Netflix. I didn't actually watch it. My sister had been into cartoons like this for a while, and always begged me to see the new episodes with her on weekends. Again, I cannot say no to those puppy eyes. Ashley smiled at me, probably thinking about how cute it was, thinking I watched shows like that. I glanced at Marcus, and... was that the hint of a smirk on his face? Just over the top of his shades I could barely see his eyes, and they were looking at the playing show, not me or Shelby.
Odd, I thought, momentarily ignoring the TV.
Finally the song ended and the title was visible. The title and six ponies, all with very different hair and color schemes, stood smiling underneath the title, like they were posing for a group photo. I guessed they were the main characters or something.
Shelby paused the screen right there, freezing the main title, looking at me expectantly.
“Oh,” I said, not wanting to keep her waiting. “I remember now.” Well, kind of.
“Oh!” Shelby started again. “Oh, oh! Get off the couch and stand up a minute!”
I looked at her quizzically, and asked what for.
“Ugh, I just need to see something.” she said impatiently.
“See wha – ack!” before I could finish my question, Shelby flung her arms around my neck and started pulling me off the couch. I don't remember her being this strong!? In three seconds flat, due to the success of the 'surprise' part of the surprise attack, I was already on the tiled floor, flailing in partial panic.
“Hold still already, I can't get a good look...” my little sister pinned me to the floor. How was this possible!? A blush rose from my face, and I looked to my friends for help. Ashley was frozen in shock, but even so, a smile slowly crept on her face, stating the situation as comical (and it kind of was). Marcus looked calm as ever, a neutral expression on his face. Actually, he looked... annoyed? The hell? Like he knew what Shelby was doing and wanted to tell me to 'get it over with'.
Get what over with!?
I felt a hand on my wing.
The blush intensified ten fold as a new fear washed over me, shooting my head around in shock. With a great deal of effort, I froze my pegasus body; terrified I might hurt Shelby, remembering the lightning and that bastard of a cop from earlier. The last thing I wanted to do was injure her.
Okay! I thought, desperately trying to keep control. She probably doesn't know what that area is! She doesn't, she doesn't! Damn it, keep calm! Sweat broke out across my brow. Keep the fuck calm! I held my breath, focusing on something else, anything else.
“Awe,” Shelby sighed, and I tentatively looked at her. Still frozen stiff, still holding breath. Her still clutching my wing (gently, I noted). “you're a blank flank.”
Huh?
At the moment I didn't care about what the ignorant girl called me, saying between gasps. “Can. You. Please. Let go. Of my. Wing?” It took her a few moments to realize she was causing me a considerable amount of discomfort before releasing the appendage. As soon as her hand let go, I snapped the wing down tight at my side, and allowed my breath to calm.
I wanted to yell. I wanted to scream at her to never touch me there again. Fighting to hold my tongue, I shakily got to my hooves, standing before everyone. Feeling a strange sensation on my back, the kind when you grip something too hard and the knuckles go white, I forcibly released the mental hold I had on my wings; briefly fluttering them to better help feeling return.
I kept my muzzle shut, but let my expression tell the tale I wasn't happy.
Innocent Shelby just looked plain confused... and very worried. I was giving her the feeling that she was in deep trouble. She needed to know, but I couldn't be the one to tell her. I might say something wrong or set the inappropriate tone and make things worse. I motioned for Marcus.
I explained, in whispers, what I wanted him to do and he agreed. Gently, Marcus got Shelby to follow him to the other side of the room, kneeling to be closer to her eye level. Ashley had gotten off the couch and trotted up to me. She wore a mask of intense concern. I must have looked pretty frazzled.
“Blank what now?” she asked. A little surprised that she didn't ask about the wings and the reaction.
“Flank,” I said evenly. “Blank flank.” I had no idea what that was supposed to mean. Through my still racing thoughts, I twisted my head to look at my rump, lifting the wing to get a better view. There was nothing there on the orange coat that covered me.
Okay, flank was another word of saying 'thigh', or 'backside', I suspected. And blank was, well... blank. So, putting two and two together, Shelby was looking for something that wasn't there to be found. I looked up at the frozen show title ponies, searching their own flanks (something that caused the blush to re-emerge. Arrugh!). Each of them sported a small picture. One, a cyan pegasus, had what looked like a white cloud with a multi-colored lightning bolt. Another with a trio of blue and yellow party balloons. So on and so forth.
What were they? Tattoos? Somehow I doubted it. Putting tattoos in a show for children seemed... wrong somehow. Like it would be very suggestive or something. Yet, the evidence was right there. Recalling several girls back in high school that dressed poorly, many of them had tattoos just above their butts. Definitely suggestive, and I was beginning to suspect the seemingly innocent show.
Was Ash blank as well?
I tore my gaze from the TV and craned my head to look at Ashley's flank.
“Uh,” she said apprehensively. “what are you doing?”
Impossibly, I completely forgot that that was considered a breach in privacy. Or was it? No clothes and all. Hurriedly I explained that I was looking to see if she had anything on her flank. For once, Ashley's eye twitched, but stood there anyways, looking indignant.
Hmm, okay, nothing there eith – ow!
My forehead burned as Ashley brought her hoof back down to the floor. Apparently I must have been staring too long, as she had clopped me on the head. I didn't bother asking, since I already knew, and rubbed my head with a hoof; smiling sheepishly. Caught in the act, but it was worth it.
I glanced over in Shelby's direction. Marcus must have been taking the long and boring approach, taking his time explaining. He must have only recently gotten to the part about the wings being a 'bad place' to touch, as Shelby's cute hazel eyes went wide and she brought her palms up to her mouth. Then proceeded to stare at me in apology. Softening my own gaze, to assure her I wasn't mad.
It was understandable. Shelby and I often playfully wrastled and rough housed. I was glad she wasn't a girly girl, it made her that much more fun. Considering the recent tussle, I'd probably have to get used to not always winning. Come to think of it... was it my imagination or was she just a bit taller than me now...? Yay...
I snorted at the thought, eliciting a cocked eyebrow from Ashley.
Yep, definitely taller than me, I thought as Shelby approached. Damn it.
This felt so wrong! I was the older sibling and she was taller than me! Arrugh! Dumb pony body.
“Sorry,” Shelby muttered darkly, her eyes on the floor.
I felt like a jerk again. Here I was effing about being short (again), and poor Shelby was beating herself up over what was an innocent accident. Somehow I needed to make it up to her; I didn't want her to be upset over something that really didn't matter. I put my hoof on her shoulder.
“Hey,” I said. Balancing on my hind legs (wow, that feels awkward!), I used my other forehoof to lift her chin. “It's okay squirt. I'm not mad.” giving her my best grin, and added a peace offering. “How about later I buy you an ice cream?”
That made her happy! Shelby waved off my hooves and began choking the life out of me with a bear hug (carefully avoiding my wings, I noted). It made my heart melt. “Okay, okay!” I coughed and sputtered, chuckling at the same time. Marcus and Ash smiled next to us.
“That's so cute...” Ashley squeed. If that sound had come from anyone else I would have rolled my eyes in disgust, but from her it was somehow adorable. Another blush forming on my face.
“Wow,” my little sister said, finally allowing me to breath again. “you're turning red a lot more big brother.” and here I was hoping they wouldn't notice. And confound me, it grew!
Marcus snickered. “I think we're embarrassing her.”
Thud.
“Indeed,” Ashley chimed in and Shelby laughed at me as I collapsed on the floor.
I sighed deeply and muttered, “I swear you're all evil. Evil I say!”
__---***::: <o> :::***---__
After all the drama, I decided maybe this kid's show could offer some more information. For one, the characters were so very eerily similar in shape, size, and color schemes to Ashley and I. I paid special attention whenever it showed scenes where pegasi were flying, and my eyes were practically glued to the one pegasus known as 'Rainbow Dash'. Inwardly I squeed, thinking, hoping I would be able to perform half the stuff she did.
And she seemed pretty damned cute. Twitch. Okay, it's one thing to check out Ashley, and another thing to gawk at a fictional cartoon character! Ugh... that had better be the pony brain talking. I must be crazy. That's the only explanation! (I hoped, the alternative was a bit scary).
And second, Shelby insisted we watch the show for reasons I suspected that she just wanted to watch it – which was fine. We came here seeking help from my mother and her sewing skills, and she wasn't here right now. So anything that passed the time was welcome.
“So,” Ashley asked after another episode ended, the lyrical credits scrolling. “A cutie mark represents a 'special talent'?”
Shelby nodded, her attention focused on braiding my mane into a ponytail. What? It was a harmless enough request (from her). Besides, she used them puppy eyes on me again when I initially said no. I swear it was a form of cheating powers or something.
Oddly, Marcus stayed quiet as well. I almost expected some kind of input from him, but he just kept his silent attention on the cartoon. Did I want to ask? Did I want to know?
“And this...” my crush now asked, gesturing at the horn on her head. “can perform magic?” she seemed very skeptical.
Marcus chuckled now, “After what happened, are you honestly going to discount anything? Right now, I wouldn't be surprised if it started raining chocolate milk from cotton candy clouds.” Shelby snickered at Marcus's comment. I got the feeling that was an obscure reference to something I was missing, and found myself very confused; my ears drooped and I stared at the ceiling. Would chocolate milk rain cause roof damage? The hell did that thought come from?
Ashley just nodded, dismissing the weird comment. I smiled when she tried to stare at her horn, causing her big brown eyes to cross.
Damn it, why was that so cute and irresistible!?
I fluttered my wings, deep in thought. If half of the stuff was possible in real life as in the show, being a pegasus was going to be so awesome. Walking on clouds, moving them, making thunder and lightning by bucking them. And all that on top of being able to fly, period. (And fly potentially very fast). I doubted the truth behind the 'Sonic Rainboom', and doubted I could perform such a stunt, but it would definitely be something I would try at some point.
I hopped down off the couch and started towards the kitchen. Marcus asked where I was going and I answered, “Yeah, I haven't eaten since I woke up this morning.” Kind of weird that I didn't get hungry until just now. I'm usually ravenous in the morning.
I opened the fridge door by curling my hoof around it (the handle was very wide), and began poking my muzzle among the contents, looking for a suitable snack. I had suspicions that Marcus still wanted to go to the movies, and we would likely eat at the food court, but I wanted to make it there alive first! There was a decent amount of leftovers in the fridge, but nothing I was interested in at this time. Feeling an odd craving sensation, I opened the bottom drawer which held the vegetables. My eyes locked on some fresh carrots, snatching a couple immediately.
I closed the door, the carrot tips in my mouth, and froze.
Hidden at first by the open door, I was now face to face with another human. He stood only a head and a half taller than me and wore black, all black. Not like a burglar in a cat suit or anything like that, but regular clothing black (jeans, shirt, etcetera). His shoulder length hair and goatee matched his outfit, and on his back was a backpack, a brand name energy drink clutched in his hand as he looked at me, surprised.
We stared at each other for a while, until. “The fuck!?”
I winced, not because of the reaction to my appearance, but because he was cursing with Shelby in the next room. And she did not need to hear that sort of language!
“Mpatch mphor mouph!” I scowled, speaking around the carrots in my mouth.
The man recoiled, and his mouth opened a bit, eyes narrowing at me. I could feel the gears turning in his head. Aside from mom and dad, I was the only one that told him to watch his language around Shelby. He mouthed my words, putting the numbers together.
“Sam?” my teenage brother, Dan, replied.
I rolled my eyes and nodded. The energy drink clattered to the floor.
Author's Notes: Kudos to anyone who gets the "I think he's dead..." reference!
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You know what?
I'm gonna tell people about this fic. It has far too few views. That needs to be rectified. ASAP.
I only have one thing to say about your fic.
static2.fjcdn.com/comments/MOAR+_aaf0a2de0eaa9b25e47caff9c1a16c01.jpg
1700092 No problem. TCB stands for The Conversion Bureau, a misanthropic Alternate Universe where ponies pretty much force humans to become one of their kind. I wouldn't recommend it, it is full of plot holes, all canon characters don't act like themselves and humans are most of the time viewed as inferior creatures.
1700764
Hmm... interesting concept. I may want to take a few notes...
1700849 No offense to those who read those kind of fics, but I found these things I mentioned above in almost any regular TCB fic (only a handful didn't have those) and that's why I stopped reading them, despite being interested in the basic concept of it. I didn't talk about your story. Yours is much better written, and seemed to me completely unrelated to that universe.
1700893
Sorry, I wasn't clear: my comment was not to be taken seriously, and was more akin to sarcasm or irony. I've read a few TCB stories, and found them increasingly hard to take seriously, let alone to read to the end.
Now this story we have here, however, that I might want to look at and see where it's going.
1700918 Yeah, I guessed you were being sarcastic, but I couldn't tell if you where offended or not. To be honest I don't like this story much, the initial phase was much too short and went by too easily without bigger problems, and I dislike the erotical references.
1700953
Thanks for the warning. I'm always a little aversive of erotic themes, and now that I've read up to the third chapter, I can imagine where it might head to. I had an inkling of the nature of the TF by the second chapter, though.
Oh, by the way, I wasn't offended at all by your comment
.
1701022 Yeah, the scene at the end of the police control showed me this wasn't going in the direction I was hoping, so I stopped after that. Kind of hard to find stories that do, yours is pretty much the sole exception. Unfortunately.
1701097
Well, now that I read the section you mentioned, I can't say it's too risque. It doesn't insinuate this story's MC is destined to experience "bedroom action".
However, may you kindly tell what my story is doing that's an exception from the expected. I want to know what hazard(s) I should try avoiding.
1701185 I didn't say it would be too risque. But this story wasted lots of potential in character development and other things (the "Discovery" part should have been much longer in my opinion) and the character experiences no real difficulties (he was able to take a shower and draw him/herself off in a completely alien body after just a few hours of getting used to it...) and goes for, in my opinion, cheap humour, e. g. more-or-less subtle mentioning of wingboners.
Your story wasn't that rushed, quite on the contrary, every part (especially first six chapters) was full of psychological detail, which is probably the main appeal of the story, the most important reason.
The character also already expected some character development and acted somewhat realistic (i. e. his actions were believable and made sense in context). However, with the last two-three chapters the story seems to dragging quite a bit with nothing really happening. After so many drama-filled chapters it can be nice to have something like that for a contrast, but I really expected the latest chapter to have some kind of turning point, where the story starts to be progressing faster again. All in all, it is still one of my top favourites (#4 to be exact, you can see it on my user page) just try to make a more action-filled chapter next time, maybe like chapter four or six.
1701692
Oh, yeah, I have to admit that the latest chapter lacked in plot development. Originally, it was much shorter, going to the actual point where the MC talks (either a lie or truth) in just a few thousand words, but the chapter got more and more content until I was forced to split it in two. Rest assured, he can't postpone talking indefinitely, but conversely, Embee isn't about to force him to talk. He has to persuade himself to speak (a lie, or maybe not).
1701813 Thanks for clearing that up. I'm looking forward to that then.
1701831
Trust me, the next chapter will be a turning point for the story.
1700764
I'd just like to make an argument here. They are not all misanthropic wish-fulfillment fantasy-wanks where humanity is forced to convert. Yes, most of them are, I won't even try to deny that. That'd be like trying to argue the moon is made of cheese.
What I am saying is that there are a very small number (and I stress that "very small" part) that manage to avoid the misanthropy (for the most part) and are very solid. It's just that trying to locate these fics amongst the misanthropic "ponies are awesome" fics is a goddamn nightmare.
1701831 1701850 It feels rushed? Hmm. I tried to take it slow, I guess not slow enough. As for the shower, I didn't want to be too descriptive because I felt that going into too much detail on something like that would be boring to readers; and he did have some trouble. Drying off the mane, if I recall correctly, was troublesome. I just felt that going into too much detail would have been detrimental.
For the "slow-ness" I felt that it was important to get certain events out of the way, introductions and stuff. I have more action planned, coming soon.
I don't intend to do any kind of sex scenes. I don't particularly like to read them, much less write them. Although, apparently, vague sexual humor is okay *wink*. The cop scene, I read something somewhat similar in another story, and thought it could be a good tool to use occasionally.
I have that story on my Read-Later, should probably take a hiatus to get some thoughts straight. Thanks for the feedback.
1702527 We wouldn't even have to argue here. It's exactly what I said in my second comment: A handful didn't have these issues, and were actually really good. I've found three that are actually worth the time they take to read, you can find them on my user page. But yeah, it was really not easy to find those.
1702578 There are readers who like a fast pacing with less detail, and there are those who like greatly detailed descriptions of surroundings and of most things the characters do. Also, some ideas go better with that kind of faster pacing, others would benefit from the opposite. I think this idea would fall into the latter, as there is a lot of new, confusing feelings and changes if you wake up in a completely alien body. Also, drying off the mane isn't really that much of a trouble, and if I remember correctly, he got past that in just a few lines. Take a look at Suomibrony's story, then you can see how detailed a story can be. Of course you wouldn't have to be that descriptive, but a bit more detail would be nice. Right now, it even felt a little bland to me, as we don't know much about the characters apart from their outer appearance and some basic backstory.
1702653
I... may have glossed over your following posts. Whoops.
Nice to reply to someone without starting a shitstorm for once, though.
1702673 You have? No problem. I wouldn't have wanted to start a time-wasting argument either.
1702698
You try having a rational discussion with a fanatic anti-clopper who commented on a story that was basically porn-without-plot just to complain about it.
You'd have better luck launching a manned mission to the surface of the sun.
1702797 Yeah, I guess I can see your point. I try to avoid discussions as much as possible, or at least try to remain rational in arguments.
I love this story!
Take ALL of my licks! (Lol)
I hope the economy is robust enough to withstand 20% (30%?) of the population suddenly turned into ponies? While not as bad as all those people vanishing/dying outright, it'll still be a major shock to the system. Bills and such going unpaid because they can't do their job, the transformed seeking benefits during the "transition" period assuming they even qualify due to the nature of the 'injury', national unemployment shooting to 15% and higher. And of those changed but still capable of work in a diminished capacity, will they be deemed unfit? Sam might have to take a job elsewhere while the news anchor could probably keep going. And what about more important, uh, ponies? Those in the government. I'm assuming a few dozen in the House and Senate got changed. Wonder if the president got ponified? (No one cares about the vice-president tho, heh)
And what about elsewhere in the world? Will ponies be treated the same, better... or far worse? Even if it was just 10% transformed, that's still 700 million ponies to deal with overnight.
p.s. The memory blank is probably a subconscious survival reaction so the new pony doesn't go stark raving mad and try shaving itself to death... as seen earlier.
The ponies in the show, have been far more resistibility.
Hello reference to "A Dog and Pony Show."
Internet rule 14. Don't argue with trolls. It means that they win.
too many people have said that in regards to me lately."i think he's dead." ugh. it's called taking a nap people! so what if i only breathe half the time. but yeah with summer i have a lot of free time which i nap in. hell once i got tazed by a relative in an illconcieved attempt to defibrillate me. quite a rude wake up call.