Ponies and Pactios: A Negima Crossover

by funkyferret

"What Kind of Messed Up World is This?" by Chamo

"What Kind of Messed Up World is This?" by Chamo

Albert Chamomile felt absolutely horrid. His head felt like Asuna had been using it as a punching bag again. Groaning, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. "Oh my, you're awake. This is wonderful, I was so worried." The voice was gentle and feminine. As the owner of the voice came closer, he caught the scent of flowers.

"Heh, just what I've always wanted, a beautiful woman to take care of me when I'm sick," Chamo thought with a mischievous grin. A cool towel was placed on his head; he could feel the girl's breath washing over him as she tended to his injuries. "With such a lovely voice, I'm sure she's a real looker." He opened his eyes... and looked into the face of a yellow pony.

It smiled at him. "Are you feeling any better?" it asked in the same melodious tone.

"You have got to be kidding me," he said flatly.

The pony's eyes widened. "Eep!" she squeaked and ran out the front door of the cottage, leaving it hanging open in her haste to escape.

"Uhh..." Chamo wasn't sure what to make of such behavior. Peeling the rag off his head, he got to his feet carefully and looked around. The cottage was small and yet it was filled to the ceiling with animals of every shape and size. Most of them were staring at him like he had two heads. He heard the door slam shut. He looked towards it to see a very angry looking rabbit standing there. It's arms were crossed, and it met the ermine's stare with a scowl. It hopped across the room and stood in front of him. Despite the fact that they were about the same size, the rabbit managed to tower over him somehow.

The uneducated reader may not know it, but even with their inability to produce audible words, animals have a language all their own. Composed primarily of body language, it is not something a human can easily understand. Luckily, Chamo was multilingual and could "speak" this complex language. For those of you reading this who lack the skill to understand, a rough translation of their conversation has been added.

"Who are you... how'd you talk to the main mare?" the rabbit asked suspiciously.

"I may look like a simple ermine, but I am actually an incredibly powerful fairy, tasked with looking after one of the greatest young wizards of all time. Try not to be too jealous." He puffed out his chest.

The rabbit was unimpressed. "Look here, twinkle toes, I don't care if you think you're Discord himself, you don't go around scaring the boss. Do that again, and I'll knock you across the Everfree."

Chamo's fur bristled. "I'm not going to be intimidated by someone who takes orders from a talking horse."

The rabbit raised an eyebrow. "I don't know what planet you're from, but the ponies are in charge around here. You'd better get used to it."

"Ponies? Where are the people who look after them?"

The rabbit rapped him on the skull. "You don't listen very well. The ponies are the ones in charge. They build the houses, they grow the food, and they take care of your furry behind."

Chamo rubbed his sore head. He thought back to the appearance of the flying pony he had met earlier. Something dawned on him. "So... the ponies are in charge?"

"Oh Celestia, you're slow. Yes."

"D-do they wear clothes?"

"Only on special occasions."

The ermine gulped. "A-and what about bras?"

"Never heard of them."

"Panties?"

"Nope."

"Cigarettes?"

"Not in Ponyville."

Chamo fell to the ground. He lay on his side and stared at the wall. "What kind of messed up world is this?" he whispered. "I've got to find Negi and get out of here before I lose it."

Comments

[funkyferret]

While rather short, I feel like I got Chamo's take on the situation pretty well figured out in this chapter. Expect another update before the end of the week. Let me know if there's anything in this chapter that needs fixing.

[Wolfy]

Not bad, although I kind of expected Chamo to scream no at the top of his lungs when he found out that there are no panties and bras in Equestria.

He groaned. He heard the sound of footsteps approaching.

Instead of using two sentences you could write it like this:
Groaning, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching.

[funkyferret]

1610497
Give him time, he's in shock right now.

Fixing mistake.

[Wolfy]

1610506
You might want to check out the Proofreading, Pre-Reading And Editing group. I'm sure they can help you out more than I can.

[Rubel]

Hah. That's Chamo for you.

[Mitsubishi Colt]

Sooo...Chamo's taking it as ususal. Well, no surprise here. I like speaking Bunny Angel though. I imagine him in a yakuza-like voice, you know?
'If you scare the big pony again, there will be...repercussions if you understand?'

[SonicANIMEfan2013]

Chamo wakes up in an unknown world and his first concern? Bras and panties... ERO-ERMINE!!!!!

[DualKitsune]

So Fluttershy is the unwitting head of the animal mafia. Good to know.