Today, there are only four alicorns - but it was not always so. The alicorns once covered the world, protecting the light, and battling the dark. Their city, Olympus, was a shining bastion of all things good and just.
This is not a story of then. Those times are long gone.
This is the story of Phobos, the third son of Bellic the Black, the fourth son of Serena the White, and the 12th seer of the alicorns - a stallion without the serenity to accept the things he could not change, the courage to change the things he could, or the wisdom to know the difference - born just a few short decades before the rise of Discord, the fall of Luna, the disappearance of the Imperium Vitreus, and the destruction of all his kind - and it is a story he wrote himself.
He was never much good with titles.
This is the first piece of literature that I have ever willingly published, save for a ridiculous poem that won 3rd place in my high school's yearly literature collection. Do be gentle, won't you?
Extremely well-written, your sentence structure is phenomenal, and the imagery used is fantastic. The only thing that I might ask for would be some more description of the characters' physical appearance, but everything else is truly magnificent.
It's not nice to use people's art without crediting them for it... Here ya go!
~Lysok on dA
Pretty decent story you got started here, btw!
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Oops, good point! What a rookie mistake. It's fixed now, thanks for pointing that out.
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You... I've seen you lurking about. I will choose to take your video as a compliment, based on the assumption that, in the scene where they are licking the legs of the fat black woman who is eating a sandwich, the fat black woman who is eating a sandwich represents me. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
Well, this is certainly a much better response than I expected on my first day! I'll get to work on chapter 3 right away!
Very interesting.
Woops, forgot to italicize the thought-bit at the end! I knew I had forgotten something. Fixed now.
For some reason, the "upload from Google docs" function was broken, so I had to copy/paste it by hand. First world problems, am I right?
Deep... By the way, I appreciate the increase in physical description.
Also, I do believe that Aeros is the best flight instructor ever.
I'm beginning to like these characters a lot, especially Phobos. I love the sense of wonder he has as he engages the world. Botany!
And the entire Flying Lesson scene was terrific fun to read. Keep up the great work.
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Aw, thank you very much! It's always encouraging to know that at least a few people like what I'm doing.
Chapter 4 will take a bit of work (I want Flora, Terra, and Aqua to make good first impressions, after all), but I think I can, at the very least, promise it before Christmas.
Another excellent chapter. Interesting to see how you flesh out the historical aspects of your world. And it's cool to see some poetry added to the story. I always like it when fantasy stories contain some poetry or song. It reminds me of Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. It just gives the whole mythological world some atmosphere.
Anyway, I'm enjoying this story a lot. Keep up the good work!
Another outstanding chapter.
I enjoyed the scene by the lake and going into the Garden to find Flora. And, as always, Phobos' narrative voice really haunts the story, giving every scene a little more weight. Looks like these golden days are soon coming to an end...
Wow, your narration and descriptions are beautiful, without getting, at least what I'd consider, purple prosy. You also sold me on the alicorn characters, which I thought were developed and handled excellently.
Wow, that was a pretty intense chapter! (Chapter Five, I mean.)
The emotion in that scene with Bellic, Phobos, and Flora was aboslutely fantastic.
Vell vell vell. Quite the read. Your penmanship (Keyboardship?) is impeccable, and you pick just the right words to convey your meaning. You certainly have me hooked. Liked and Faved, and just craving more!
I had this story open for three days waiting for when I had time to read it. I have now completed all you have so far and I'm thoroughly hooked. I'll spare you the gushing, since everyone else has pretty much said what I would... But, I eagerly await more chapters!
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Thank you all very much! I can only hope that the rest of the story lives up to its beginnings.
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I'm certain they shall be just as... NO! Better than the original!
(Or at least they dance)
The stage is set. Now, we dance.
I really like your Celestia.
She is one of my favorite characters so I was really looking forward to seeing her in the past, and she doesn't disappoint. (Loved the way Phobos described her.) I like how she feels both old and young at the same time. It's going to be interesting to see how she gets from the way she is now, to how she appeared in Chapter One. Really looking forward to finding out everything that happens between her and Phobos.
Oh man, this is glorious. Strong and engaging characters, fascinating worldbuilding, gripping plot, immersive atmosphere... this fic gets everything right. 10/10. I especially love how you weave together the "small" story of a colt growing up in a tiny but (except for his father) friendly community, and the "big" story of dragons and Covens and OHSHIT THE WORLD IS GOING TO FALL APART.
Please, for all that is holy, tell me you haven't abandoned this story and there will be more chapters in the future.
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Abandoned? No. Definitely not. He wouldn't forgive me if I didn't finish his story.
I've just been... very busy, lately. Real life has gotten in the way of a lot of the things I've been wanting to do. Not to mention that new season canon has changed a few things, and those things are still figuring themselves out. Not major things, but still.
Rest assured, it will be done. Hopefully, soon. The world will fall apart, and there will be nothing he can do to stop it - not to say that he won't try.
Thank you for watching. I hope I won't disappoint you.
3668876 Awesome. I find myself really caring about your characters – almost as much as I cared about the characters from my favourite books as a little kid. I want to know what happens to them and how their relationships develop. So I would have been heartbroken if this story had been an abandoned project.
It's great to hear it isn't!
And by all means, take your time. I'm a very on-and-off writer myself (my updates can have a week between them, or several months) and a big believer in "better late than never".
Woah! You have my attention at least.
Wow! A lot of great world building here.
So, what, Bellic was off on some "hunting" trip for long enough that Sanarus could be brought to term? So who does Bellic (and the others?) think Sanarus's mom is? It's not like there's a big enough population to obscure this sort of thing.