• Member Since 27th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 18th, 2013

MallaJong1


T

Deep in the Everfree Forest, Spike must be strong for Fluttershy.

(This was a challenge I took on: Write a Spike x Fluttershy sadfic in 60 minutes. This is my first ever sadfic, so please be lenient with me.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 116 )

Wow... just ... wow.... I usually stay away from sadfics...
And yet... I read this.... and I... excuse me... I need a tissue....

And the song helps, and hurts when you play it and read it together....:fluttercry::fluttercry:

I stat away from this two tags as much as i can, just because its you i set it on read later, and will se if i can master up the courage to read this

ok i seriously need a tissue after that your story really pulled at my heart

Now make a FlutterSpike story that ISN'T sad. This, I command! :flutterrage: Um.....if you don't mind that is. :fluttercry:

This sadfic... is no sadfic... rather... a... tragedy... *sniffles*

WHYYYYYYYYY!!! SPIKE DOESN'T DESERVE TO DIE! HE DESERVES LOVE!!! DAMN YOU MALLAJONG! DAMN YOU FOR MAKING THIS SO GOOD! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!:fluttercry::applecry::ajsleepy::raritycry::pinkiesad2:

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This story + that music

This was a touching piece. I would love to see this touched up and worked on more! If this is what you could do in 60 minutes, I'd love to see this in more detail :D
While reading this I tried to keep the mind set that they were simply friends here rather than confessing their romantic love for one another because for me this story left a bigger impact if there was no romantic aspect to it. If there was, it was just too undeveloped for me to get into and would take away from the story. I suppose if you come into this already being into SpikexFluttershy then it would work, I suppose.

Really liked this one and I think you should try your hand at a sadfic again. You seen to have something for it.

~Have a good one.

Fantastic !

1582799 That looks like a lot of feels right there man, you ok? Having that many feels in one comment can't be healthy. I mean, it should be more like this. All... these... Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels :fluttershbad:

1582832 I have a lot of feels because the story brought each and every one of them out. I had to release them somehow.

Even now, I still have some feels left over... :fluttercry:

I had to force myself to soldier through it, so this piece of fiction is tremendously tragic. Jolly good.

1582835 You know what always helps me? Pony-pictures.
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Oh and Mallajong, good job on this one. Especially if you wrote this in 60 minutes! I'm still a little sad :fluttershysad:

This story sort of reminded me of a quote some "quack" doctor said:

"When do you think people die?
When they get shot through the heart by the bullet of a pistol? No.
When they are ravaged by an incurable disease? No.
When they drink a soup made from a poisonous mushroom? No.
It's when... they are forgotten."

Both the quote and story share the same thing... they are beautiful.

It wasn't your best, but then again, it was written in 60 minutes, wasn't it.
For something written in 60 minutes, this is amazing. The end was touching. the whole thing was touching. I'm double touched. :raritywink:

Now you have a reason to do Spike's Fluttershy!

This has a pile of feels falling on me. If you do any longform of Spike's Fluttershy, do a form of this where Spike Doesn't Die.
Also: PIMP DOWN!:moustache:

I like it! the music is still playing when I got to the bottom. I really like the feels and the shortness to it all. :moustache:
As long as it's good I will keep on reading my friend; and this is good. :pinkiehappy:

Keep up the good work. I hope to see more soon.:twilightsmile:

I heard todd haberkorn as spike the entire way...it...was...amazing...

Pretty damn good and you wrote this in 1 hour!?

First time writing a sadfic, you say? Jeez, it sure doesn't show. This ranks up there with some of my personal favorite now.

If you'll excuse me, I must go cry in the corner. :pinkiesad2: But before I do, here's a thought. Why don't you make a little spin off or alternate route where Spike wakes up in the hospital?~ :scootangel: Everyone deserves a happy ending.

That shot to the feelswas just unfair!

Why did I click on this?... I know I hate sadfic where Spike dies. ( I usually avoid Spike Sadfic especially because someone always dies! If not him then the entire rest of the cast.)

( I'll save my tragedy does not equal death rant. That's nothing against you, It's against Shakespeare. Thank you Shakespeare now everyone thinks everyone has to die. )


:fluttercry: Um... I know this will seem selfish,But... I like happy endings. (even work for your happy endings) Could we maybe get a ... um... Alternate ending where Spike maybe lives... I mean.....I understand... that he won't be healed instantly ( I hate it when that happens, recovery is a long process fiction writers!) But him waking up in a hospital, is fine by me. Maybe with Fluttershy by his side... if that's alright with you.

Very good concept, but the execution was a little awkward. I can forgive the execution somewhat because it was a time challenge fic, but still. You seemed to have Spike's characterization pretty much spot-on, as usual, but Fluttershy seemed a bit... off. Usually when this kind of tragedy happens she's a bit more take-charge than she normally is. And actually, I think I would have liked it better if she had actually managed to get spike up onto her back and was heading back to Ponyville as fast as she could but couldn't make it in time. Would have been infinitely more sad.

Another thing is that it never quite talks about Fluttershy's feelings for Spike. It seems that after his confession, she automatically reciprocates his feelings as if she always loved him, but the narrative doesn't say anything like that.

Mmm. I don't like sadfics, it just doesn't mesh with my nature. Out of the thousands of fics I've read, I'd say less than ten were sadfics. So, I'm not much of a judge on such things, but this was pretty decent I'd say, but I'd probably not have read it if it wasn't written by you.

Not bad for a 60min sadfic. I still prefer your usual work, but this was a fun little piece. The rush of the plot was a little too much for me, though. I wouldn't call it bad, just in desperate need of more development.

1582799
Thanks for spoiler, asshole...

I know this was a challenge fic but... MOAR!!:flutterrage: this was sad and I'm sorry for this, as a sixty minute thing it was good, very good it had impact(if you kept a "they are friends" mindset) with a lot of feels being tugged at, although this didn't make me shed manly tears.

Now all I have yet to see is a Spike x Octavia fic :rainbowlaugh:

Great job by the way!

JC Denton: What a shame...

Seriosly though, it was sad. Good work MallaJong!:ajsleepy::applecry:

1583427 It was not a spoiler. The comments can be found below the story for a reason.

Okay, time to read the Fluttershy sadfi-

*sees Tragedy tag*

...FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-okay, that's way too sad for me.

Max

:fluttershbad::fluttercry: This is not fair.. :(

I came for the sadfic, but you lied! There's not even a sad tag! :pinkiesad2:
There's a dark tag....

Still, it was a worthy read. I shan't berate you for the fast pace or anything; placing such limiting time constraints on yourself is quite impressive - I'd never be able to write as much as this, as good as this, in just 60 short minutes! :rainbowlaugh:

Nice job, brochacho. Tears may not have been shed by myself, but they certainly welled up in mine eyes. Congratulate yourself on your successful endeavor.

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Oh...my... Excuse me... I need a tissue. :fluttercry:

Great job as usual man. For a first attempt at a sad fic, well you could've fooled me. It just goes to show your versatility as an author.

It was pretty corny, but DAMN did it hurt to read. That last paragraph was especially painful because it put into perspective the fact that Spike died too young, stripped of experiences he will never have the opportunity to enjoy. No traveling, no more adventures, no falling in love, no losing his virginity, no watching his friends fall in love.

Seriously, write Spike's Fluttershy.

Why Spike? WHY HIM?!?! Why?:fluttercry::pinkiesad2::raritycry:

sososososos gay gay gay you master bate

1584357 I'm not too fond of these. It went the way that many others have. IT BECAME VIEW WHORING.

And yes, I've read all of them. I read them all to come to a proper conclusion on this. They're lacking effort, and it seems more of a "LOOK A SHIPPING THAT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!" It's riding the success of it's priors. I don't like that.

EDIT:
The Vinyl Scratch one in particular.

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I mean that got out of hand really fast! :twilightoops:
No I did not shed a tear or get hit in the feels either
It just seemed rushed to me, no offence. :unsuresweetie:
1584372 I agree with that too, it seems like there have been a lot of weird pairings lately, especially with Spike.

And now time for a review!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!

To take into account that you wrote this in such a short amount of time, it is extremely good. I think you should try and write one which you don't have a time limit. It would be perfect.

Let me just break the sad feeling and give some feedback.
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Now that the apologies are out the way, down to business :scootangel:

In a sadfic, written imagery is key. Yours was good, but it was a little disjointed. Between these amazing emotions, we had scenes of absolute mayhem that did not fit with the whole feely-feely feelings... well that sounds wrong.

There is also many cliché moments. Don't get me wrong, emotions were high in me, but it seemed like everything they said has been in most sadfics. It's hard to come up with something original, but it was a bit too 'samey' for my liking

However, writing a sadfic in a short amount of time is like trying to rush a painting. You will find yourself doing more haste than speed. I grant leverage because of this.

Also, this is your first sadfic. Taking all of this into account I would give eight mustaches out of ten!

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Oh, and this did give me the feels. :fluttercry:

:fluttercry::applecry:
The music just made it that much sadder.

1582930
It took me a few seconds to remember where I'd heard that line.

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