Rainbow Skies

by RainRose99

Chapter 1

This is my first fanfic so i hope you like it! Also i accept all types of critisism. Oh and i dont own anything of My Little Pony that is all Hasbros and Lauren Fausts. So enjoy and dont forget to tell me what you think!

Rainbow Skies

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Celestia's sun invaded the sleeping pegasi’s eyelids forcing them open. She gave a loud groan as she sat up. Letting the silk sheets slowly slide off her cyan body. The pegasus outstretched her wings and forelegs out as far as they could with a loud but satisfied yawn. Slowly, she turned her head towards the alarm clock perched on the expensive wooden night stand. Seven in the morning. She had at least another hour to kill before she had to meet up with her friends for breakfast at Pony Joe's, so she decided to go for a quick flight around Canterlot until then. The rainbow maned mare slid out of bed making no sound at all. She walked over to the window slowly so she could feel the expertly woven carpet under her hooves longer. When she got to the window she quickly opened it and with a bright flash of rainbow she was through it.

After she got herself stabilized, Rainbow closed her eyes and took in the cool morning air. Exhaling she opened her eyes and looked down at the bustling city below her. Even though it's after the wedding this place is still super busy. Rainbow Dash started to look below some ponies were out heading over to open their businesses for the day, while a lot of others were cleaning up some rubble from the Changeling attack from a couple days previous (it may have been two days ago but it was fairly brutal there are a lot of ponies still mentally recovering from being fed off of). That day had been an all time low for her.

Rainbow was already having problems accomplishing a sonic rainboom. She had crashed so many times luckily she couldn't hurt herself thanks to Celestia. The princess had given her a special room for her to practice in. It was covered in the softest padding ever and it was enchanted so it took up little space in the castle but it was the biggest room there. Another extraordinary quality of this place was it could hide the fact she did a sonic rainboom so no pony would know about it happening for the wedding. Even though she had a great practice space she couldn't get it right. Then she had to get all dressed up and girly (she was more than happy with that but she would never admit it to any pony) ruining her image. Then the worst part was when she was defeated by the changelings. She was broken away from her thoughts by a loud shout.

"Rainbow Dash! Hey Rainbow slow down!" a familiar voice yelled. She turned her head to see it was Soarin. A smile came across Dash's face remembering the night before. She looked around the party as soon as Twilight started to sing She saw Pinkie stuffing herself with cake, AJ was playing a violin for some random ponies, Spike was dancing with Sweetie Belle, Rarity was talking to the fancy pony she met at Twi’s B-Day, and even Fluttershy was having a good time taking care of some animals from the garden. Everyone was having fun but her. That's when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. She turned around to see Soarin the Wonderbolt! Just before she could speak a Camera Flashed in her face it somewhat dazed her but she was used to it after the little Mare-do-Well incident. The rest of the night was magical for her they danced laughed and had a good time. But, to her dismay it all had to end. Rainbow was so lost in thought she almost forgot to speak.

"Oh hey Soarin. What's up?" She said nervously, hoping she didn't take too long to respond.

"Just out for a morning flight. Didn't expect somepony else to be out flying though"

"Why? I'm sure even Canterlot pegasi have enough time to take a nice morning flight"

"You'd be surprised. Most of them are too worried somepony will see them getting all sweaty and they will be thought of as dirty."

"Good thing I’m not a Canterlot pony then."

"What do you mean?"

"A Canterlot pony wouldn't win in a race." As soon as she said that she took off, leaving a confused Soarin in her wake, though it didn't take long for him to catch on and seconds later he was on her tail. Rainbow took a quick glance behind her to see where Soarin was, but he wasn't there. She then heard a voice come from her right.

"Over here Dash! It's gonna take a whole lot more than a head start to beat me!" And with that, he took off ahead of her, looking over his shoulder to reveal his goofy grin to her, a sure sign he was obviously gloating. Dash didn't take too kindly to this, so she sped up and took a little time to stay behind to get a good look at his nicely toned body before passing him, though she would never admit this to any pony. She stayed ahead for the rest of the race before landing on a cumulus at the edge of town, Soarin touched down right next to her moments later with a soft puff.

"Beat ya!" The cyan colored pegasus said with a smirk.

"I'll give you this one Dash. But next time I won't go so easy on you." Soarin replied deviously.

"Please, you couldn't beat me no matter how hard you tried."

"We will just have to see."

"It's been fun showing you up and all, but I have to go meet up with my friends so... Catch ya later?" Rainbow said, with it sounding more like a question than a statement.

"Okay, bye," the ice blue stallion replied with a hint of disappointment in his voice. With that, Rainbow leapt up from the cloud and started to fly back to her hotel room. Even if it was just breakfast Rainbow wanted to make sure she wasn't sweaty and looked fairly decent before she went out. Though Rarity insisted it was alright for the trouble they caused on Twilight's birthday she could still tell it bugged her and didn't want to repeat things.

Rainbow saw the tower her suite was in and slightly tilted in that direction. Once she noticed the open window the cyan Pegasus gracefully glided in and gently landed on the floor. Rainbow gave a loud yawn and gave a big stretch. She then to the bathroom. The ginormous thing was right off her room and opened up through double doors. The long marble counter with double sinks and vanity where to her right. A glorious porcelain throne was to her left and beside it was a glass shower that could comfortably fit five ponies. Then in front of her was A humongous jetted tub that looked more like a hot tub. The Pegasus made her way to the right and picked up the toothbrush and toothpaste. When finished she gave a quick smile into the mirror. Satisfied, she trotted over to the shower.

As she was in there, she started to think about Soarin and how his coat gleamed in the morning light, showing off his shaped body. The way the wind tousled his gorgeous navy blue mane and tail. Then her favorite part: his captivating emerald green eyes. She could stare into them forever. Also Dash couldn't help but feel overwhelmed when he smiled at her and she smiled back every time he would. "Wait," Rainbow Dash told herself. "Get a grip, you filly. You don't want to get yourself to worked up with this. You can never forget what happened then, and you already swore to yourself that it would never happen again." With that she tried to put those thoughts in the back of her mind, but she still couldn't help but think about him.

Dash stepped out of the shower with a sigh. She was about to shake off the water when she saw the plushest towels she has ever seen. She couldn't forgive herself if she didn't use them. The towel was quickly off the rack and onto Rainbow. The towel felt so soft against her fur. Within seconds she was completely dry. She might steal a couple of towels before she leaves. She walked back over to the sinks and had to wipe off the now steam covered mirror. She proceeded by picking up her brush getting out as many knots as she can. She doesn't normally care what her mane and tail look like except that they are clean and somewhat straight.

She walked out of the bathroom and looked at the clock. It read 7:53. She had Done everything with great speed like always. She could make it to Pony Joes in seven minutes she thought to herself as she flew out her open window once more. As she was zipping through the Canterlot air she was yet again reminded of a certain stallion who (despite her tries) she had developed feelings for. She knew that no matter what she did she would repeat her past. The cyan pegasus shed a tear as her memories came flooding back to her. The first time she got her she swore she wouldn't let it happen again. But no matter how hard she tried it kept happening again the worst part was every every stallion couldn't just leave it at i don't feel the same. He always had to go public with it destroying her life for a good year before everyone forgot or didn't care.

To Dashs luck she had arrived at her destination and had to force her feelings deep within her. She walked through the door with the ring of a bell and a friendly greeting from Twilight Sparkle, Spike, and Pinkie Pie.

“ Good Morning Dashie!!!” Pinkie said with her usual upbeat voice.

“Morning Pinkie” Dash said with a slight chuckle. “ So where's everypony else?”

“ They haven't arrived yet. How are you enjoying Canterlot?” Twilight questioned as always wanting to know what is going on, to see if there are any problems she could help with.

" Its great you don't have to deal with other ponies being in the skies so, I can go at great speeds and the towels are amazing. I could deal without the prissy ponies though."

Rainbow got a confused look from everyone about the towels comment except spike who was devouring a chocolate iced with sprinkles. Just then Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack walk through the door.

" Sorry we are late dears but I had to get my hair done to Canterlot perfection."

" Ummmmmm, yes I'm very sorry but I had to visit my new friends in the Canterlot gardens."

" Ah'm a mite sorry to, I had to bake some apple goods for the party later today."

" Don't be silly girls it's perfectly fine. Besides you’re not that late. The important thing is you are all here now so come over here and join us." Twilight said.

" So Rainbow Dash did you and that stallion Soarin is it have an invigorating night last night?" Rarity said with a devilish smile and a wink. A huge blush spread across Rainbows face.

" NO! It's not like that at all we are just friends unlike you and Fancy Pants." Dash replied vigorously ending with a smirk.

“ Oh now don't be silly darling. He is way too old for me plus he is already taken. “ Rarity said slightly blushing.

Just then Pony Joe walked over. “ Good morning what can I get you mares?” Rainbow ordered an orange juice and a chocolate iced with rainbow sprinkles, Rarity got a black coffee and a simple glazed, Twilight got a coffee (after being convinced by Rarity) and her special jelly filled she used to get as a filly, AppleJack got an apple juice with and apple cinnamon filled, Pinkie Pie had a decaf (who knows what she would do with caffeine in her) and a regular iced with extra icing and extra sprinkles, and Fluttershy had an apple juice and a plain glazed (Spike would’ve gotten something but he looked like he was gonna burst so the Elements convinced him not to). They all ate and discussed what they planned to do that evening and how their nights had gone (Rainbow didn't go into too much detail). Everyone was psyched up for tonight Celestia was throwing a party in the ballroom to get every ponies spirits up after the attack so tonight she be fun, right?

Comments

[Kwisatz-Haderach]

Ugh... This is a great fic, but the formatting, grammar and punctuation really needs some work! Hire an editor, fix what needs fixin' and you'll be sailing smoothly.

[Joy Stick]

Mmmm...
Not bad. Needs a bit of work. But I will track just in case.

[FinePrint]

Looks good! A little editing wouldn't hurt, but the story is great non-the-less. :-)

[Yasturo]

Oh dear... Don't say you didn't ask for this...
I guess I'll show what I found wrong with this story:
1.

She gave a loud groan as she sat up. Letting the silk sheets slowly slide off her cyan body.

DO NOT make that a new sentence, it is better with a comma instead

She gave a loud groan as she sat up, letting the silk sheets slowly slide off her cyan body.

2.

Exhaling she opened her eyes and looked down at the bustling city below her.

Make it like one of these two

Exhaling as she opened her eyes and looked down at the bustling city below her.

Or

Exhaling, she opened her eyes and looked down at the bustling city below her.

3.

Rainbow Dash started to look below some ponies were out heading over to open their businesses for the day,

Eeenope. Run on sentence

Rainbow Dash started to look below. Some ponies were out heading over to open their businesses for the day,

4.

while a lot of others

Change it to

while others

5.

from a couple days previous

Its okay, but it would sound better if it was

from a couple days ago

6.

That day had been an all time low for her.

This is not a editing problem, but more of "What...?" problem.
What?
7.

She had crashed so many times luckily she couldn't hurt herself thanks to Celestia. The princess had given her a special room for her to practice in.

Don't know what to say... ADD A COMMA AND A DIFFERENT PERIOD LOCATION!

She had crashed so many times luckily she couldn't hurt herself. Thanks to Celestia, the princess had given her a special room for her to practice in.

8.

Even though she had a great practice space she couldn't get it right.

Ehh, not that much wrong with it

Even though she had a great practice space, she still couldn't get it right.

Or

Even though she had a great practice space, she couldn't get it right.

9.

Then she had to get all dressed up and girly (she was more than happy with that but she would never admit it to any pony) ruining her image.

Just.... No... You got the RD impression correctly, (Except for the () part ) but the sentence is out of place...

Then she had to get all dressed up all girly (she was more than happy with that but she would never admit it to any pony) ruining her image.

10.

her was A humongous

Random capitalized A?
11.

But no matter how hard she tried it kept happening again the worst part was every every stallion couldn't just leave it at i don't feel the same.

Hurr Durr You didn't capitalize the I and at the

I don't feel the same.

It should be

]But no matter how hard she tried it kept happening again the worst part was every every stallion couldn't just leave it at "I don't feel the same."

12. Double space

year before

13.

He always had to go public with it destroying her life for a good year before everyone forgot or didn't care.

No, you forgot a comma

He always had to go public with it, destroying her life for a good year before everyone forgot or didn't care.

14. Once again double space

and had

15.

" Its great you don't have to deal with other ponies being in the skies so, I can go at great speeds and the towels are amazing. I could deal without the prissy ponies though."

Comma =/= Not the right place

" Its great you don't have to deal with other ponies being in the skies, so I can go at great speeds and the towels are amazing. I could deal without the prissy ponies though."

16. Spike is a noun. Not a common noun to be exact...

spike

=/=

Spike

17.

Just then Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack walk through the door.

Walk = No
Walked = Yes
18. I'm no pro Southern Accent but I think mite in this sentence is wrong

" Ah'm a mite sorry to, I had to bake some apple goods for the party later today."

19.

" So Rainbow Dash did you and that stallion Soarin is it have an invigorating night last night?" Rarity said with a devilish smile and a wink. A huge blush spread across Rainbows face.

I know its wrong, but I don't know what to say... Run-on, no idea, Confusing FIX IT!
20.

plus he

Again...
21. Might sound better if its like..

“ Good morning what can I get you mares?”

To

“ Good morning, what can I get for you mares?”

22.

Rainbow ordered an orange juice and a chocolate iced with rainbow sprinkles, Rarity got a black coffee and a simple glazed, Twilight got a coffee (after being convinced by Rarity) and her special jelly filled she used to get as a filly, AppleJack got an apple juice with and apple cinnamon filled, Pinkie Pie had a decaf (who knows what she would do with caffeine in her) and a regular iced with extra icing and extra sprinkles, and Fluttershy had an apple juice and a plain glazed

What did they order? The drinks are fine but the food... What?
23.

Everyone was psyched up for tonight Celestia was throwing a party in the ballroom to get every ponies spirits up after the attack so tonight she be fun, right?

Into

Everyone was psyched up for tonight Celestia was throwing a party in the ballroom to get every ponies spirits up after the attack so tonight she be fun. Right?

My my.. this needs a lot of work. For the creativity (The type of story, like AppleXFlutter RainbowXRar, A sad, happy, dark, etc.) It is awesome, but without proper grammar and spelling it turns into a jumbled mess...

I'm no pro but I can say one thing, Its original but needs work.
Now, don't think this wont get you a like. I personally enjoyed the story line so far. Please continue.

On a side note... HA Deep "Dead" Pool! I BEAT YOU!
(If you were there you would understand the Dead part)

[TomCruiseSucks]

GRAMMAR!!!!!

Other than that I must say I enjoyed reading it!

[reader238]

nice read I will deffinately watch for this story

[rainbowfactoryworker]

Wow bronies must also be grammer nazi's lol jk great fic can't wait for more

[Riften Guard]

1679173
yeah, its like youtube all over again

[afterceasetoexist]

1679561 I'm actually a Grammar Nazis as well

[Rainbow87dash]

WALL OF TEXT

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

[Firo Blaze]

Please, write more. I want to know what's going to happen next.

[Yasturo]

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encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR2QDx384Uugz1QkOgDzIj2FXinlGgQ2U6b7YgcMrb3YCoMr-_v

[AgentVan3]

more plzzzzzzzzz

[OddDreams]

While this is good, the formatting and grammar errors destroyed any flow it would have had, so I ended up just skimming it and feeling like you rushed it and half-assed any proofreading (if there even was any).

[AgentVan3]

trolling trollestia

[LeopardCay]

Please update!

[rebelbrony]

1677349 wow... just wow, you my good sir are a rambling asshole, but eh what do i care it isn't my story but you went to the point of pointing out double spacing between a few words? I didn't even notice these mistakes when i read it. What did you do? Go to the story as if you were this person's teacher and went ah yes this is wrong, this is wrong, omg this is right but i must make it look wrong. I know er mer gerd yer gering drn to his rever what rrr u dowang.
Now i'm bored please grammar nazi me hitler.

[Yasturo]

2648443 *Cough* 27 *Cough* Weeks *Cough* Ago. *Cough*

But anyways, I'm an EDITOR. I'm not a story writer, in fat, I suck at writing stories. But editing is something I'm good at. So, I should do this.

Just because I'm a Brony doesn't mean I don't care about Grammar.

EDIT: Just read the last part of your thing. No, I don't grammar check comments.

[Toriandthehorse]

I like the storyline a lot, but the grammar and all the ideas and event's unfolding way too fast turned me away. Maybe draw it out a bit more... focus on the five senses, the deeper levels of writing, and relax a bit more. It seemed like you were trying to rush to the end, but the story has enough potential that you could just slow down and enjoy writing it.