• Member Since 13th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 17th, 2018

Sugar Moon


Brony form Northern Ireland. Think that kinda says it all really. For now at least

T

The wonderbolts are in town. But there are things we don't know about equestrias best flyers. Like a secret crush that our favourite captain has hidden all these years.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 160 )

D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww.

Never seen a SpitfirexTwilight fic before. But I approve. :twilightsmile:

HAHA this is great, finally an amazing ship which hasn't been done to hell :pinkiehappy:
”

“Hun that was me. Ya know I made myself a promise. Next time I saw you to.”

this parts seems a bit blah to me, I think maybe you could have made it last a little longer, maybe had twilight not mention her for a chapter or two. all in all great fic.
also rainbows reaction is going to be PRICELESS

Good story. Nice way of introducing the connection between Twilight and Spitfire.

Sure could use some polish for grammar and word use. I mean, it's not like it's riddles with the horrors of grammar or anything, but some polish would make it a smoother read.

The ending was disappointing. After a nicely paced introduction and build up, it just got terribly rushed. After all, in most societies that ending would end in a battery charge! (Not to mention OOC for Twilight.) Some more care and detail would improve it a great deal. After all, the best bit of a romance story is the build up to the relationship.

Thumbs up for it in its present state, with hopes you'll take the time to give the raw diamond a good polishing. :pinkiehappy:

I would like to see more.

:pinkiehappy: YES! I must have MOAR! A truly wonderful shipping. I agree with Clone though. A lot of commas missing, capitalization errors, and other things, but nothing that made me enjoy it any less. :rainbowkiss:

Thumbed faved and i fuken love it :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:
Take a cookie, or even the whole plate if you want to
justfundraising.com/media/images/cookies-dough-fundraising.jpg

In before feature because this is feature material

Hmm went a little fast for my taste but eh it was ok

img0.joyreactor.com/images/templates/solo/no.jpg
Not only did you ship wrong, you didn't even read this through once. Grammar is off, missing commas everywhere and you really messed up the capitalization. Also, OCC Twilight much?

1579650
NOw to figure out what to do with my spare free time...study for test tomorrow no, do homework good luck with that shit, take a nap no, well I give up

Hmm..... That's pretty good:trixieshiftright:.....
First mother fuckers...

The story has a good start and builds up quite nicely, though the ending doesn't really looks right to me. A good story nonetheless, have a thumb up.

I really like, but come on man, why only one chapter? I want to see Rainbows reaction.:twilightsmile:

To pour means to cause a liquid to flow. To pore means to study intently. So when you say, "Long into the night she poured over tomes," I'm picturing Spitfire standing over a pile of books with a pitcher of water, carefully soaking them. The librarian will not be amused.

wish I could up vote CTkev's comment... was thinking the same thing.

Id have loved to see more of this. I always love SparkleFire shipping.

awaiting dash's reaction

1579635 I find this pair to be refreshing, but I'll agree that there are grammar errors, obvious ones at that, by the truckload.

I'm guessing he doesn't proofread his work. :facehoof:

Ignore GenericUsername. They have no sense of expansion. YES it was a different ship, YES the grammar was a bit careless (but grammar's a bish anyway), but this was still one of the BEST DAMN SHIPS I'VE READ. I thoroughly enjoyed this and will be looking for more form you. Although I would suggest finding a pre-reader.

Whenever there's a character in a story who says "hun" a lot I always imagine them with a voice like Paula Deen or any of your other stereotypical southern hospitality moms even if I know they're supposed to sound different. That made this story veeeery interesting.

Oh god you have to keep this going!!!! this can be such a long and great story! please Keep it going!

1579635
>Not only did you ship wrong
I would have been behind you, had it not been for that. It's not well written by any stretch of the imagination, but there's no such thing as "you shipped wrong."

>Also, OCC Twilight much?
I beg your pardon? I'll have you know there wasn't a single mention of motorcycles in this fic.:moustache:

I liked it, grammar was a bit choppy here and there, but it was still readable.

huh, Coincidentally i just finished The Teacher, The Sorceress, and The Wonderbolt today....:rainbowderp:

Are you psychic?:twilightoops:

I agree keep going, TwiFire is one of my favorite ships, and it is so rare :applecry:

Too fast, too short, seriously in need of a proofreader = -3 points.

TwiFire shipfic done reasonably well enough to make it entertaining = +4 points.

Thumbs up for you! Now go get a proofreader / editor, and you're good to go.

1582089 Glad you liked it. Yeah I really do :twilightblush:

1580536 Really? Haha that would put an interesting twist on the story.

1580289 Proofreading?:rainbowhuh:

1579964 Silly mistakes thy name is Sugar Moon :facehoof:

1579729 Thanks glad you like it. You were almost close. Maybe next time :scootangel:

1579601 I don't think it got featured. I don't think I would have been able to handle the notorioty

1579600 Thank you. It is delicious :yay:

:eeyup:

1583425
Mother fucker....
EVERY TIME

1579517>>1579537>>1579567>>1579926>>1580185>>1580602>>1582068 I'm sensing you want a continuation?

:eeyup:

1581410 :pinkiecrazy: Nope. That is a great story though. You can probably tell it directly inspires mine :pinkiehappy:

1580365 Glad you like it. Its always great to hear people like it. And yeah I really should get a editor:rainbowlaugh:

1579741>>1579611>>1579534>>1579531 Yeah I agree that ending is for lack of a better word. Rubbish.

:eeyup:

1583475
HAY YEAH I would like to see more.

1580789
I'll have you know Twilight wasn't in character even once in this fic.:ajbemused:

1583518
*Facehoof*
Wow. Am I just old, or did that really sail right over your head?

1583475 Well, I hope you'll find time and interest to re-write that ending. THe rest of the story demonstrates clearly that you can do it well. :twilightsmile:

1583713 It ain't yer age, son. :ajsmug:

Vote: Spitlight, Twifire, Spitsparkle, or Twispit

1584305
I didn't think it was that obscure a reference...:applejackunsure:

It nice to finally see this shipping as this is one of my top favs along with twidash and dashfire
its was really short and the tab does say complete which is a bit of a disappointment and with the beginning with the part with dash and twilight as that could have been drawn out to be something bigger later same with the other bolts if this was made into a bigger story but i still like it and since im in a nice mood ill give it a nice rating

Ponyfic Critic rating: Yay...

I'm the Ponyfic Critic and i read it so you don't have too

That was really good, I enjoyed it a lot :twilightsmile:

:unsuresweetie: ooc twilight. :twilightoops: grammer needs work...but..overall interresting story:twilightsmile:

I like many things about this story. I like the writing, I like the style, the grammar could use more work but it's still good. I like the original ship, I like Spitfire's personality, I like how Spitfire was the one asking the questions, I like this other side of Spitfire that no one's ever given her.

I didn't like one thing: I think Twilight could have been a little more confused about Spitfire's appearance or her revealing herself. She seemed a little forward, and a thought like the one she had here:

“I moved to the castle before I got to kiss the first filly I had a crush on. I always wanted her to be my first kiss. And now she has.”

...was a little too abrupt and a thought I wouldn't associate with someone that age (that is, Twilight being a filly and having a crush on Spitfire).

Otherwise, I very much enjoyed this and would really like to see more. :twilightsmile:

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