• Member Since 11th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 28th, 2012

Chaos_Origins


Comments ( 30 )

This, is a really freaking awesome idea. I wish I would have thought of it myself.

It's a promising concept, and you have the basics of writing down, but you really need a pre-reader. There are a lot of little grammar/spelling errors and some of the phrasing is repetitive. It could benefit from a second pair of eyes.

Also, you really should space out the paragraphs. I consider it a failing of FiMFiction that this isn't done automatically. RIght now the story looks too wall-of-text-ish.

...... dafuq did I just read? Whatever it was, it was good, thumbs up from me

1565761 It's the best cover they've done besides "Where did you Sleep Last Night"

Well that escalated quickly.

I like where this is going, a lot.

I would love this as a Videogame :pinkiehappy:

1565271
I listened to that while I made the next chapter.

1565514
I went back and re-spaced everything. Should be much easier to read.

1568623 Nirvana is a great catalyst to writing.

Meh, why you put here lesbi dash? Whole fimfiction full of this shit

1569394
She's not lesbi, just in ridiculous heat

These escalate so quickly

And I love it (though it wouldn't be bad to see it take a little longer once in a while).

1569540
well why then all this shit with disguiding as mare?

1569902
Twitch is disguised as a mare for the purpose of it being easier to mingle with the towns population and learn about them. Just like it's easier for most girls to gossip with other girls, it's easier for mares to gossip with other mares, or at least in my opinion it would be.

1569902
Chaos_Origins is quite right in a town full of mares and less stallions if a new stallion arrives he will be the center of attention thus it will be hard for him to move around if everymare is looking at him plus in a small town like pony ville word travels fast :D

1570685
Exactly. You hit it spot on. Brohoof for you sir /)

1570796
lol im just stating the obvious and....... Brohoof to that! :D

this is good keep righting and i will keep cloping:rainbowkiss:

wow this was way beter than i was expecting
id give it a 8.9 out of 10
:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowderp:

and one more thing can i have a bro hoof:fluttershysad:
/)

Fuck the rainbow.:rainbowlaugh: Taste the rainbow.:rainbowwild:

You got an editor yet?

Just asking... plus I might be able to help but I would be dumb If you already have someone.

Good stuff. Not much else to say but I'm liking it so far.

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