CHAPTER 35
"WHY ME?!"
I was crouched down in a shrub near the entrance to the Everfree. I was hoping to Luna that Sean and his posse wouldn't see me.
"I just pull a few little harmless pranks, and now I'm running for my life!"
I heard a twig snap almost right in front of me. It was Vince... And he had a bottle of pink hair dye.
"Oh Kyle~... Come on out, I'm not gonna hurt you... Much."
"Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap..."
My heart started racing, and I felt a tension in my chest. Of all the lousy times...
"Just control your breathing..."
As if an answer to my prayers, Vince walked away, satisfied with his look around. I felt my heart slow to a less deadly pace.
"Too close..."
I crawled out of the shrub, and brushed myself off. I decided that hiding in a dangerous place like the Everfree would NOT hinder their search, unlike I had thought.
"I knew Sean would come out here to look for me, but as for the others... Oh, lady luck has given me such a backhand today..."
"Hey there, ya' prankster you..."
I froze. The southern voice coming from behind me was all too familiar. And it was one of the last voices I needed to hear.
"Oh... Dear... AJ?"
I heard a slight giggle. "Guilty as charged. Now, are ya' gonna come quietly, or am Ah' gonna have t' hog tie ya'?"
"Wait. AJ has a crush on me..."
I turned around, and grinned like a sleazeball. "Oh, I bet you'd like that, huh?"
Her face turned red, and she fell onto her haunches. "Wh-Wha-"
I took a step closer to her. "I bet you'd like to just tie me up and drag me home, wouldn't you, you dirty girl you?"
And thus, Applejack's face was the color of the fruit she grows. Her eyes darted around, and sweat started to drip from her face. I leaned in, and whispered into her ear...
"I can't believe you just fell for that." Next thing you know, I'm flying, weaving in-between the trees.
"HAHA! Oh MAN! The look on her face... That was worth it. Oh, it's gonna be so awkward to talk to her for a while... Well, more awkward."
Sadly, with all of my thinking, I wasn't doing much paying attention. I slammed into a large stallion, and fell right onto my rear end.
"Oh... Hey, sorry dude..." I stood up, and rubbed the back of my head sheepishly, but on closer inspection...
"Wait. You're not a dude..." It was Twilight. She was still under the effects of the Gender Bender.
He... She... Er... I have no idea, smiled evilly. "Oh, that's right... You know, Kyle, I wonder what you'd look like as a woman..."
My eyes went as wide as dinner plates. "Eheh... Well... About that..."
Before I could even react, purple magic surrounded me, and I felt myself going under some rather awkward changes.
(Stop the music)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I slammed the cloud door shut, and threw myself down on the couch.
"Assholes... I pull a few little pranks on them, and they turn me into a girl and dye my hair pink! Thank Luna that dye was only temporary... I know what I'm doing to Vince next time he's asleep..." I imagined myself shaving his head, and I must say, it was a satisfying mental image. I wasn't a girl anymore, and Twilight let me wash the dye out in his/her sink. But I did have a few choice words for them before I ran off in anger.
"Now I'm in a bad mood. Great... Man, having boobs was weird..." I shook my head, trying to get the image of my reflection in the mirror after my... Change.
Luckily, I didn't have to dwell on it much longer, because the door opened and closed again. Dashie was home, and she had her saddlebags full of stuff for a party.
"Hey, babe. So, I see shopping was a good turnout."
Dashie took one look at me, and fell over laughing. I slouched a little bit, and gave her a deadpan stare. "Lemme guess, somepony told you about what happened to me."
Dashie stoop up, and wiped a tear out of her eyes. "Heh... Yeah. I just wish I could have seen it for myself... I bet you're pretty cute as a girl." She walked by me, and brushed her tail along my chin.
"... I love my life."
I let out an exaggerated cough to get Dashie's attention. "So, you need any help setting things up for Scoots' birthday party?"
She shrugged, and dumped her bags out on the dinner table. "If you want. I could set it up myself, and you could just go off and hang out with everypony."
"SIGNAL RECEIVED. She wants to spend more time with me."
"I think I'll stick around and help." Dashie looked away from me, but I saw a smile.
"Thanks. And we don't need to worry about Scoots finding out about this. She's staying over with Apple Bloom tonight."
I put my hand on my chin, thinking of all the things that could happen. "I sure hope they don't try anything..."
Dashie and I let out a little chuckle, and she gave me a reassuring smile. "I'm sure we raised her better than that. And besides, they're practically grown up now. So even if they do..."
I shrugged. "Yeah, I just don't want Scoots rushing her relationship, lest it fall apart. I do appreciate the fact that since she's dating a mare, I don't have to worry about her getting pregnant... The stress from that would kill me."
Dashie stopped what she was doing, and looked at me, with concern in her eyes. I cocked my eyebrow. "Dashie? What's wro-"
She raised a hoof to silence me. "You know what's wrong... Please don't talk about dying. Remember what you said on the train when you were heading to Canterlot?"
I stayed silent. I knew what she was talking about. I'd everypony about my shortened longevity, and they must have told Dashie.
Dashie nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "Exactly... Just... Please, don't talk about dying or anything like that. I'm terrified of losing you. Every day, I'm worried that you're going to get hurt or have a heart attack... It's horrifying, knowing that the one you love could die at any moment."
"Wow... I didn't know how much I'd worried everypony from telling them that. Me and my big mouth..."
I picked Dashie up, and hugged her, and stroked her mane. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine..."
She nuzzled the side of my neck. "We don't know that..."
I sat her down, and crouched down to stay on eye level with her. "Listen, I've lived this long without any problems. I just have to be careful, is all. Do you really think I'll let myself get hurt and be taken away from you all? I don't think so. I promise you that I won't be dying any time soon."
Dashie smiled, and wiped her eyes. "OK... Pinkie Pie Promise?"
I smiled, and rolled my eyes. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I slapped my hand over my eye. "Ow."
We both started laughing, and then looked around the half-decorated room. "Kyle... I think we'd better finish decorating."
I nodded. "Yeah."
The next hour or so passed in silence. I could feel Dashie's gaze staring at me every once in a while, and I could tell she was still very worried, but I didn't call her out on it. She was my wife, and she had every right to be scared of me dying. I didn't hold it against her, but it made me feel guilty. I never liked making anybody worry, and when I did, I felt like I was doing them wrong.
I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind, and just kept on decorating.
FIRST - Ohh Lesbian sex???
One picture twilight.ponychan.net/chan/arch/src/130691708799.jpg
Loved this chapter, keep up the good work k123
Found an error: "and Twilight let me was the dye out in his/her sink."
And then you meet a goat who eats the party decorations
Next time, on the Adventures of Kyle the Girl…
God it was weird having boobs…
MENTALPICTUREMENTALPICTUREMENTALPICTUREMENTALPICTURE
Really k12314. You cant give Kyle a few days without crazy or dangerous things, Bar fights, running for life or arguing with torrie. Right? I mean, give him a few days vecation from almost dying, fighting, gender swap, and so on.... .
alternate ending... Scoot's party, Kyle has a heart attack adn dies....
ORRR...continue the story, have Luna fix his heart and smiles from everypony!
Kyle as a girl oh celestia thats hilarious
Man, Kyle CANNOT catch a break. Great chapter man.
i just had a thought
what if Kyle was a female during mating season
*puts hand to chin in thougt*
PFFT... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
309476 unfortunately that would only eliminate him as a target.. ONLY PONiES GO INTO 'HEAT' but, what if they turned him into a pony first?
309505
*claps hands together* exactly
Something else what i thought but still it was awesome.
hey is it true you have all these health problems? i mean if ya dont mind me asking also how come i havent seen ya on skype in a while?
Comments looking reading done y bronies so wierd I'm fine with it but we're weird (In a good way.... most of the time) cupcakes anyone
eroge music for epic win!
309565
Yeah, I have all of these health problems. Not. Fun. And sorry I haven't been on Skype, I've been busy with school.
309893
Actually, I play the American port of Shuffle, which removes all of the adult scenes, and it has English voice acting instead of Japanese. So... Yeah, in America, Shuffle's just a Visual Novel, not an erogame. But I DO know that the Japanese version has more... "Steamy" things in it.
309595 Well at least u can say we Bronies are not boring! Right? right? right!
310075 duh boring is none weird weird is awesome (most of the time some weird such as cupcakes makes me think oh god)
310089 Ya completely with u on that subject BROny! Weird is awesume!
Cupcakes is Scarrrrrrrrrrrrry spooky! 2 many ghosties!
halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/captainfalcon-yes.gif I must say, YES! I hope to see more!
~Parajack
310103 never read Cupcakes I only understand what happened pinkie goes nuts kills ponies to make bloody cupcakes and a cutie mark dress did I get it right that's just what I heard also not sure if want to read probably not I wouldn't puke or anything but I'd have nightmares
Awww, bonding scene.
I don't know where that came from.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
310648 I havent read it either but I saw a lil of the animated trailer on utube! I couldnt even get through that nevermind reading the thing! It however scares me whoever wrote it is still out there. W8in to stike again! What are they w8in for? I can not say. All we can do is...Smile!
310888 I onnly got to the part where pinkie was pulling dash apart on her torture device in the animated trailer (I may be talking of a different one than you in the one I ssaw they played this is halloween and it was cartoony)
i love you
310948 Naw I think that was I one I saw. I kinda blocked it out. I think I already have enough mental scars.
Great continuation of the story, he can't catch a break can he?
On a more serious note: you really got those health problems? actually 30 years? Damn, must be rough, Live happily man, let no one bring you down!
Correct me if I'm wrong but this caught my eye.
She raised a hoof to silence me. "You know what's wrong... Please don't talk about dying. Remember what you said on the train when we were heading to Canterlot?"
I thought Torre held Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo hostage at the time? She wasn't on the train. Sorry if I'm wrong.
311160 what kind the unsee unsee ones or the horror the hooror or some other kind of scar I have all the above
312415 I dont no. I never asked my scars what kind they were. Hm. Now I has a mission!
Yeah uh huh. Yea my scars say I shouldnt ask cuz they wont tell!
312425 I'm crazy in three ways I suppres the third because it's excessivley violent but number two is consiences one drives me nuts by showing me my scars again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again etc.
312430 Hav u tryed giving it a muzzle? That works when my crazyness gets a lil...excessive. mwhahahha! I'm not crazy
312443 no because theres fou conciences that represent my personality the one that enjoys watching others squirm or something like that I just call him troll theres the emotional spastic one the hard worker and physical science one then theres the theorist and mathmitition and its hard to control them all tried it once violence broke free so I deal with the scars
312452 Well u could always use lots of bandaids! Oh and of course glue! Glue it makes things stick!
312459 tried that they melt right through it I'm too imaginitive so they also imaginitive and they can use cartoon physics they use flamethrowers to melt it off and they only have black faces (that sounds racist)
312468 Hm then why not use SUPER GLUUUUUUUUUUUUE! Yeah I know im a genius! And if that does not work u could always try to get a new identity!
312378 Congratulations dude. You're the new Phoenix Wright. Maybe, that's not the real Dashie. KYLE! HERE'S AN OPPORTUNITY FOR A TWIST! Ok here's my comment on the chapter. I missed the last one because I PLAY TOO MUCH MINECRAFT. So anyways, wait, I forgot what the chapter's about. *Goes back to read* ok I got it. I can't get a mental picture of what you look like as a girl cause I don't even know what you look like as a dude. But this chapter was hilawlrious. So can you bring Lyra back for a bit of time. Maybe you could get creeped out by the HUGE (and trust me I mean HUGE) amount of research she's done. (Fluttershy: MARCOS! SOMEONE DRANK THE LAST POUCH! (Me: WHAT! *goes to the bathroom to get some hair gel to spike my hair back like Phoenix Wright* Ok Fluttershy, Who do you accuse! Cause I seriously want to go to court about this. (Fluttershy: 0_0 Um I think it was Kevin (Me: OBJECTION! Kevin's still in the hospital from last time (Fluttershy: Um Dashie. (Me: OBJECTION! Dashie is comforting Kevin at the hospital. (Fluttershy: How about Ginna (Me: Hmm, she was at my house yesterday but OBJECTION! There were still 10 pouches in the fridge yesterday. I saw 3 pouches in the fridge TODAY! (Fluttershy: OH It was Ashley. (Me: OH I remember. She came to my house today and took a pouch out of the fridge. When I went in the fridge to get some food, THERE WERE NO POUCHES LEFT. ASHLEY IS THE GUILTY ONE! (Fluttershy: *claps*
~~~~~~ .
312378
The other girls told her. Simple as that.
313455
Sorry it was the word "we" that caught me off guard >_<
SIGNAL RECIEVED!
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309248 That's suspiciously close to my Avatar...
Or used to be.