• Published 7th Jan 2012
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Le Retour - k12314



Kyle thought he was never going to see the ponies again... Well, he was wrong. VERY wrong.

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Chapter 34: Pinkie's Pranking

CHAPTER 34

"Oh man..." I flopped out of bed again. The victory party was just a normal dinner at first, but after Dashie and I sent Scoots home, we went out drinking. There were no barfights this time, but I did manage to drink myself into a stupor.


"Sex is one thing, but drunken sex... Woo doggy." I shook my head to snap out of my slight hangover, and pulled some pants on, and threw on a t-shirt. I heard the sheets on the bed shuffling a bit, so I turned around to see Dashie struggling to get out of bed. I decided to give her a hand.


"You know, sometimes I think you're a bit of a lightweight, Dashie." Trollface.jpg.


"Hey...! I'm no lightweight... My head doesn't hurt, at least..." I shook my head, and chuckled a little bit.


"So, what's on the agenda for today?" I cracked my joints, starting at my neck, and ending at my back, as I always do in the morning.


"Well, I'm going shopping for Scoots' birthday. I assume you already have a gift?"


I crouched down, and sifted through the massive pile of dirty clothes that had gathered in the corner, and dug through the pockets of all the pants, until I pulled out two tickets to a Wonderbolts performance. Dashie cocked her eyebrow.


"Two tickets? What, are you planning on going with her?"


I shook my head. "Nope. The other one's for Apple Bloom. I told her about it, and suggested she go see Twilight for a cloud-walking spell."


Dashie nodded, and walked out of the room. I looked at myself in the small mirror on the wall, and decided that I looked fine. I used my hand to comb out some of my bed head, but other than that, no grooming for me.


"Well, if Dashie's going shopping, who am I gonna hang out with? I don't feel like just lounging around all day. Too boring... I wonder if Derpy is back from traveling around with The Doctor again... Man, I need to keep better track of my friends."

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"Hi Kyle!" Pinkie seemed ecstatic to see me.


"Hey Pinks, how goes it?"


"Good! I've just been busy helping the Cakes. Not much has happened with me lately. How'd you like that case?" She gave me a knowing wink.


"Yeah, about that... You know about Phoenix Wright, don't you?"


She nodded, and started humming a little tune as she walked into the kitchen.


"Saw that coming..."


"Hey, have you seen Vince? I wanna thank him for fixing my arm."


Pinks put a hoof on her chin, and then shrugged. "I dunno. He's probably with Twilight or something."


"I figured. Geeks like them get along well with each other... I can only imagine one of their conversations... Wait, I can't, because it'd be full of all sorts of crazy sciency stuff that I haven't a clue about. Ugh, the appeal of being a scientist, I'll never understand it."


"So! Is that the only reason you came by?"


"Oh, no, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to hang out or something." Pinks smiled mischievously, and I could only connect that to one thing: Fun. "I like that smile..."


"Wanna pull some pranks?"


I smiled like a maniac. "Does Sean love Coke?"

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I crouched behind the bush, and snickered. "Oh man, this is gonna rock..."


Pinks put a hoof over her mouth so she didn't burst out laughing, and she looked out over the bush again. "Oh! Shush, shush, here she comes..."


I pushed some of the branches on the bush out of the way, and sure enough, Fluttershy was walking down the street, headed right for a fake bunny I'd rigged up with a load of confetti and a firecracker. Just take a guess at what was going to happen when I lit the fuse I was holding onto.


"OK Kyle, light it now!" I struck a match, and lit the fuse, and it made it's way to the fake bunny. Fluttershy was completely clueless.


"Oh my! You poor little thing! You can't just sit here in the street, come on, lets get you back to my cottage so I can-"


BANG


"EEP!"


Fluttershy jumped as the fake bunny exploded into a mixture of stuffing and confetti. Pinks and I walked out from behind the bush, holding our sides, laughing our heads off.


"Um... If you don't mind me asking... What just happened?" I put my hand on Shy's head, and managed to calm myself down enough to speak coherently.


"Nothing, I just rigged that stuffed bunny with a firecracker and some confetti, and you fell for it!" And then, I doubled over laughing again, and Shy blushed, letting out a small giggle.


"You got me good... That really startled me."


Pinks and I headed off to find our next victim, waving to Shy. Shy looked around her, and then yelled after us.


"Wait! Who's going to clean up this mess!" Pinks and I looked at each other... And then bolted.

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Pinks and I climbed into the window of Twilight's library, which was unlocked for some reason.


"So, I have an idea, Kyle... I like to call it, 'The Gender Bender.'"


I stared at her wide-eyed, and my psychotic smile returned. "I already like this plan. Lemme guess, you're gonna swap Twilight's spellbook for that one you have there?"


She nodded. "It's full of a bunch of spell with the same effect: The caster has their gender swapped. Now, lets do this!"


We crept in through the kitchen, and looked out into the main room, sure enough, Twilight was practicing her spells, and she didn't hear us come in.


"Alright Pinks, I'll swap the books, you just sit back, and watch." I crouched down, and slowly made my way into the room. Twilight was focusing intensely on an old shoe, probably trying to turn it into something valuable. I snuck up right behind her, and when she turned her head to look at the book on her other side, I quickly swapped the book she had been looking at with The Gender Bender, and then snuck back to the kitchen.


"Oh, this is gonna be good!" Pinks put a hoof over her mouth, and I just stared, my mad smile still on my face. Twilight looked back to the book, there was a flash of light, and...


"What the..." Instead of Twilight's normal voice, a deep, baritone voice echoed through the tree library. "WHY AM I A STALLION?!"


With that, Pinks and I took our leave, only letting our laughter out when we were a safe distance from the library, and the angered screams of a certain stallion unicorn. Hehehe...

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This went on for the rest of the day. Pinks and I did all sorts of crazy things. Sweet Apple Acres became Sweet Pear Acres, Rarity's mud mask was replaced with... Actual mud. And as for Vince... He was asleep. And he likes his hair. And Pinks had bleach. I think you can assume what happened.


"Pinks. That was awesome. Hehehe..."


Pinks held out her hoof. "Yeah, it was. Brohoof?"


"Brohoof." Once the manly gesture was completed, I heard a throat being cleared behind us. It was Sean.


"I hope you two realize that I have to clean your mess up, right?"


(Listen to this)

"Oh... Dear."


Sean grinned evilly, and I saw Rarity, AJ, Twilight (Who was still a stallion) and Vince step up behind him. "And lets not forget that for every prank, there's revenge."


"... Fuck."


"Ah' hope y'all realize that Ah'm not exactly happy with y'all messin' with mah' apples." AJ tipped her stetson out of her eyes.


Nobody else said anything, but they slowly advance on Pinks and I... Until Pinks pulled a small black disk out of her pocket, and threw it on the ground. "Sorry Kyle, gotta go!" She jumped into it... And she went through it. I saw a pink hoof reach back through the hole, and pull itself into itself.


"HOW. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!"


I looked back to the gang of prankees who where advancing on me.


Sean pushed his glassed up his nose. "Now, prepare to feel the full wrath of a Joki Knight."


I looked around frantically for a way to escape. Then, I pointed behind Sean. "HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!"


Sean laughed. "Come on man, I'm not falling for tha-"


SPLAT


A pie hit him in the back of the head, and I saw Pinks on a nearby rooftop, and pies began to rain down on the group.


I did a little comical wave to them, and turned on my heels. "SEEYA LATER!"


I made a mad dash for The Everfree.

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