Chapter 31: Drinking
CHAPTER 31
When Twilight had taken me to Fluttershy's, Shy of course made me rest for a day, and it was already late in the evening by the time Vince was ready to fix my arm. I hadn't been paying attention to him the entire time, but I decided it'd probably be for the best. "... Alright, now this is gonna hurt. A lot. So... Hold still?" Vince was trying, and failing, to convince me to not be a little nervous of him messing with my arm.
"Come one, do you really think that's gonna convince- AGH!" I felt white hot pain through my arm, and watched as the bones shifted around, eventually finding the spots where they belong, and mending back together. I felt a little happy knowing I wouldn't have to go for weeks with my arm in a sling, but I was too busy biting my lip, holding back my yelps of pain. It eventually died down, and I opened my eyes, although I didn't remember closing them.
"Now, that's probably gonna feel weird for a few days, but you can use it. Just don't go getting your arm folded like a blanket again." A little grin went across his face.
"Oh hardy-har-har. Very funny. So, you can use magic now? I'm assuming it has to do with those nanowhatchamacallits in your blood." He almost facepalmed. I could tell he really wanted to.
"They're called nano machines. And yes, Twilight cast a spell on me, and they adapted to it, and now I can-" I tuned him out. I didn't feel like listening to a big sciencey explanation. Fluttershy smiled sympathetically, and motioned for the door. I nodded, and headed out.
"Now... What to do..." It was getting a little late. I decided that it would be best to just head home.
"HEY! KYLE!" Dashie was shouting my name from straight above me. Right when I looked up, she slammed right into me, and pinned me to the ground. "Heh, you need to work on your reaction time."
"Alright, you got me... So! Is there a reason you've got me pinned to the ground in the middle of the road?" She let me go, and I stood up, and brushed myself off. "Or did you just feel like domestic assault?"
She furrowed her brow a little bit. "Oh, so you don't want to take your wife drinking?"
"Wait, what?"
"Remember when you said you'd take me out drinking at the party? At Sean's place?"
I took off my hat, and scratched my head. "Yeah, I remember that. You wanna go now? I'd gladly take you. I feel like a drink anyways." She smiled ear to ear.
"It's been a while since we really spent time together." I nodded.
"Yeah, we've been out for a bit before, but we can consider tonight a date. I'd love to take you out more, but crazy stuff won't stop happening. It seems as if when I'm around, trouble follows."
Dashie trotted in a little closer to me, and leaned on me as we walked. "That may be so, but hey, it's not your fault. Besides, you always manage to deal with it." I chuckled, and scratched her behind her ears. She loved that.
"Yeah... Alright, well, the place I always go isn't too far from here. It's probably only a ten minute walk-" Dashie grabbed my hand, and bolted off. We were going so fast, everything was a blur. In only ten seconds flat, we were standing right in front of my favorite bar. "... Or we could just do that. I'm assuming you remembered it from my little breakdown..." Her expression darkened, and she nodded. "Well then... In we go." I pushed open the door for her, and followed her in. We took a seat at the bar, and the bartender recognized me.
"Well, if it isn't Kyle... And I see you brought your lady friend!" He gave Dashie a joking wink, and I had to stifle a laugh.
Tonight is going to be a long night... In a good way, of course.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(One hour later)
"*Hic*" Dashie was swaying back and forth, and one of her eyes was half-closed. "This... This is a LOT of fun... We need to *Hic* go drinking more often..." I was biting my knuckles, trying not to laugh. Dashie was ridiculously cute, and hilarious when she was drunk. "What're you laughin' at?"
"You're drunk."
"I'm not drunk! I might be a little tipsy, but..." I gave her a slight nudge on the shoulder, and she almost fell out of her stool. "Wah... That's not very nice, you know... *Hic*
"You, my fine-feathered wife, are completely drunk. Just sayin'."
"You can be really *Hic* mean sometimes, you know that, Kyle?"
"Yes, yes I do."
At this point, some pegasus stallion walks up to Dashie, and he looks like the kind of guy who you'd want to punch in the face just because of the way he looks.
"Hey there..." He looked at me for a second, and then back to Dashie. "How about you ditch your... 'Friend' over there, and come home with me tonight?" Uh-oh. Sleazeball detected. Dashie, in her drunken state, had no idea how to respond. Everypony else in the bar knew me, and they knew about my family. They were all giving the sleaze the "you're digging your own grave" look.
"Well... Uh... He... *Hic*"
"Awwww come on, babe! He's just a... Whatever he is, but I'm a good looking, well mannered, kind stallion! What's not to like about me?" It was at this point that I stood up, and stared down at him. he didn't seem scared, much to his ignorance. He took a step back, and raised his front hooves in a mock-defensive position.
"Woah, look out everypony, we're dealing with a badflank over here." I started cracking my knuckles.
"What'd you just say?" He tilted his head up slightly, and a smug grin ended up on his face.
"You heard me-" My uppercut connected with his jaw, and he almost did a backflip. He stood back up, and I saw that he'd bit his tongue, seeing as to how he spit out a glob of blood. "What the hay, man?! I'm just hitting on a girl, and you go and hit me?"
"That's my WIFE, you moron!" I pointed to Dashie's earrings, and then to my ring, which he had imprinted on his chin. He did a double take, and then shook it off.
"Ah, come on! You gotta let your wife have some variety in be-" A stool connected with his head, and he stumbled back, and bumped into a rather mean-looking stallion.
"Bub, you've messed with the wrong bar-goer." The mean stallion gave me a slight smile and nod, and started wailing on the sleaze... And next thing you know, a full-on barfight had broken out. Dashie was sitting off to the side, laughing like a maniac, while I was struggling not to get pulverized by a bunch of crazed, drunken ponies.
I had absolutely no idea what was going on, but I was having a blast. Ponies were breaking chairs over each other, glasses were flying everywhere, and I was in the middle of all of it. "Might as well have a little fun!" I picked up a glass from a table, and smashed it over the nearest pony's head, and ducked before another pony socked me in the jaw.
"Not so fast!" I grabbed his outstretched leg, and threw him into another group of brawlers. "So long!" I turned around to fight ponies on my other side, when a stool connected with my back. I stumbled a bit, and turned around to see who signed their own death warrant. It was the sleazeball.
"Not so tough now, are you?" I slowly laughed, and approached him. "What the-" I clasped my hand on his shoulder, and gave him a big smile.
"I say, you have some SERIOUS testicular fortitude to even THINK that you could get away with that." I tightened my grip, and my expression changed to a more... Crazed one.
"Umm... Can't we talk about this?" I slowly shook my head. I could have sworn I heard rusty hinges as I did so.
"Oh no, you've already made your choice."
(Pause the music)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Meanwhile, just outside, moments before the previous scene...)
"I say, Twilight, you do have great taste in books. But what else should I expect from a librarian?" Rarity and Twilight were heading off to the Boutique to have a sleepover, after picking up a large collection of romance novels.
"Well, I've never really been the most... Outgoing of mares. I guess novels are just my escape. There aren't that many stallions around here, and some of them are gay anyways." Rarity nodded her head.
"Yes, it's a shame, really. They're missing out..." Rarity looked past Twilight, and stared into the window of the bar across the street. "Is that Kyle?" Twilight looked as well, and sure enough, Kyle was there, in the middle of a bar fight, with his hand on a stallion's shoulder.
"Oh no... What's going on now?" Twilight rolled her eyes.
(Resume the music)
Suddenly, Kyle picked the stallion up, and threw him through the bar window, and the stallion bounced out into the middle of the street.
"You LIKE THAT, you sleazeball?" Kyle walked over to him, and kneeled down next to him. "Now, what have we learned?" The "sleazeball" looked absolutely terrified.
"N-Never m-mess with mares, EVER! Please don't hurt me..." Kyle stood up, a satisfied smile on his face.
"Good... Oh, hey Rarity, hey Twilight. Lovely night we're having, huh?" The two mares stared at Kyle, and then looked to the sleazeball, who was running at full gallop down the street. They looked back to Kyle, who looked confused. "What?"
The two shook their heads, and Kyle just shrugged, and ran back into the bar, eager to get back into the fight.
(Stop the music)
"You know, Twilight, I think things are going to be like this from now on. Kyle seems to bring these kinds of situations around a lot..." Twilight nodded her head.
"I agree. You do have to give him credit for his... Vigor."
"I suppose."
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Just going to post this first here and comment later if thats cool.
Me: I think I'm going to get some sleep now!
This chapter: LOL NOPE! TIME FOR FIGHT SCENE.
;A;
"They're called nano machines. And yes, Twilight cast a spell on me, and they adapted to it, and now I can-"
It seems that technology is now sufficiently advanced.
282497lul
Haha, you had to have a barfight, didn't you Kyle?
Not that I'm complaining at all, this was hilarious
-Glassed
I am loling. what else can i say?
All you have to do is take a cup badass; add it to the mix!
Then you take somethin' a little crazy; a bit of weird- just a pinch!
Making this Kyle is such a sinch; add a teaspoon of compassion!
Add a little more and you count to four and your almost dead-a!
Kyle! So awesome and pwnage!
Kyle! Don't be too sleazy!
Kyle!
Kyle Kyle Kyle!
barfight fun
282533
Nah, he had the nanomachines in him when he came to Equestria. When Twilight cast a spell on him, they absorbed the magic, and adapted so he could use it. LIKE A BAWS.
Its 1:20am here. And I'm still here.
WHY MUST I BE ADDICTED TO THESE STORIES???
SLEEP IS FOR WEAK! BARFIGHTS FOR STRONG!
The music you've chosen for the story doesn't really fit the scene its for. Just saying.
BTW, it's good that for once Kyle kept a cool head and didn't almost kill someone in a fight
282612
Damn. I thought it was fitting to the moment. Oh well. :Pinkieshrug:
... We need that emoticon.
Listened to the fight seen with the song Shorty Bounce
*Sees dude hittin on Dashie*........Murder time.
"(Stop the music)"
NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dash is FUNNY when she's drunk off her ass
That bar fight was awesome. As a matter of fact, it made me LOL. HARD. So thank you my good man.
That was hilarious! Made my day.
Great chapter.
i think the sleazeball gets it now
FINALLY!!!!!
A bar fight in a fic!
Moonfire-you know, this makes me want to join in on the action
Moonfire. No, get back to your fic.
Moonfire-aaaaawwwwwwww
Love the absolutely nonchalant reactions to the bar fight...
I chuckled so hard at this!
i hope this means we can finally get back to the comedy aspect of the story
I could not stop laughing at the mental image of a bunch of ponies in a bar fight.
Did anyone say Bar fight?
But when it comes to Barfight music:
Seether - Country Song
Queen - Don't stop me now
Some up-beat Country music
Or my personal favorite, which I think fit kyle perfect!
Dropkick Murphys - Barroom Hero
You have GOT to be more specific about who is being addressed, and who is speaking. I get confused, and irritated. (Sorry, it's my inner grammar-nazi working up, I've just been called by my neighbors at midnight saying there were people doing drugs in her backyard, and I'm tired)
~Jack
POST EDIT: I'm really very sorry about that. I was just in a really bad mood. However, I really did enjoy this chapter. I do love a good bar fight. Whether it's out in space (star wars), or in some back-country barhouse (f.o.), always find some entertainment in that!
BTW, I'm curious as to what happened to Dash in this chapter?
282600
MY FISTS ARE MADE OF STEEL!
We're dealing with a badflank over here!
Well done my good sir.
Also when there is a barfight you should have either some Irish music, country or Only one by Slipknot.
that pony got owned!
283400
Glad to see that someone else besides me loves The Dropkick Murphys. I find that almost all of their music is fantastic. And your right, that scene you linked, the underwater bar fight? That was awesome. DROPKICK MURPHYS FTW.
Old western style bar fight FTW
I want to see more vince, and what he can do with his over-the-top technology.
THE BARFIGHT HAS ARRIVED! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA!
And I was secretly beating ponies up in the middle of it all.
283563
Nah, it's cool. And Dashie... She more or less was sitting off to the side, watching all of this unfurl. As for Kyle... Yeah. He kicked some ass.
Nice choice of music for the bar fight. I think Frank's theme went well. You might have been able to use Ghost Riders or Hawkeye's theme too, I think.
Good chapter, why do I feel like going to a bar now?
But seriously I need to know how do You guys include the music in the stories? I kind of need to know.
284547
Right click on the link and open it in a new tab, and follow the instructions that are in parentheses.
This chapter is hilarious but why is it that I have a feeling that as soon as Kyle goes back into the bar, there's gonna be some colts harassing Dashie. I'm just saying that there was a bit of time that passes when you threw the sleezebag out the window and chatted with Rarity and Twilight for a few seconds. I also have another feeling that on the way to the boutique, that sleezebag is gonna come back and harass Twi and Rarity. Or some other colts from the bar. Idk. I just have a feeling that somemare is gonna be harassed. Also I just saw the slenderman on March 1 2012. I ain't joking either. I saw him wave at me, he disappeared in a black mist and left behind some black goo on my backyard stone stairs. Then I keep seeing him flash in my mind in school followed by a strike of pain to the head. I have to dig into my skull with my fingers and bang my foot on the ground to shake off the pain. I just want to let everyone know that the slenderman is real and he's creeping me out. Anyways that's my comment. Can anyone reply to me on how I deal with the slenderman.
~~~~~~
Nice new chapter, as per usual.
But I think that "Cornered" from Phoenix Wright seems more fitting than the other selection for the barfight. Just sayin'.
283896 Hey... get a t-shirt and wear it (it works like magic)! Got in a new city to study at a university in norway, and at the end of the day I had 13 new friends who loves DKM: Friendship is awesome!
DKM is the best.... was at a consert with them in 2008, and ended up on the scene along side them and 50 others! THAT was a blast!
Where's Zeph? I miss him!
Good choice of music for the fight. I think the music playing in that bar fight in the 2nd Pirates movie could also be a funny choice too though.
Oh god... Im smiling, ear-to-ear, in class, getting weird looks from everyone....completely worth it!
Oh how he can be so badass as to start a freeforall barfight
Agg... how hard is it to just talk to the guy before starting like the 100th fight since u have been here.
Also what the hell. Isn't Kyle still like 18? He has some serious drinking problems.
ponyvillegazette.com/files/2011/11/my_little_pony_friendship_is_magic_parody_of_the_dude_and_walter_sobchak_from_the_big_lebowski-1024x576.jpg
Reactions.
The bar fight made this chapter 20% cooler!
Awyeah, i went there.
"now, what have we learned?" GREATEST BAR FIGHT LINE IN HISTORY, GREAT JOB KYLE!!!!
That fight was awesome !!!!!!
SOMEPONY MAKE A FANFIC ABOUT THE DRUNK ADVENTURES OF RD. ME WANT.
