• Published 7th Jan 2012
  • 18,038 Views, 2,651 Comments

Le Retour - k12314

Kyle thought he was never going to see the ponies again... Well, he was wrong. VERY wrong.

  • ...

Chapters Next
Chapter 1: New Beginnings


I stumbled backwards, staring at the pony in front of me. I raised a shaking hand, pointing at him. "Y-Y-You're not real... Get out of my head, I just want my life back!"

"Kyle, that's what I'm trying to give you!" The brown pony, who I remembered to be Omnius, lifted a hoof to touch me, but I swatted it away.

"NO! You're just a figment of my imagination, brought about by insanity! GO AWAY!"

He just stared at me, mouth agape, eyes widened. "Really? Everything you remember about those ponies was a dream?"

I started shouting at him, angry and confused. "YES!"

He looked me over, soaking in every detail of me. Then, he spoke. "...Then why do you still have that ring?" I looked down at the ring I had. It was from a since dead sweetheart... But I couldn't remember her. "That ring was given to you by somepony who loves you with every fiber of her being. She still misses you, and for the past year of her life, she has cried herself to sleep, hoping against all odds that I would find you. Kyle, I've been searching for twenty YEARS Just to make sure that she and her daughter can finally be happy again. Just so I can save my friend, and bring hope back to my friends, and all those who miss you."

I just glared at him, but I could feel something in my head resurfacing. "S-So what does this have to do with anything?"

He pointed to the ring, and spoke in a calm, almost nurturing tone. "Because if that ring didn't mean anything to you, you would have gotten rid of it. You know the truth. Now tell me: Do you want to finally go home? Your real home?"

Then, the memories came flooding into my head. A world of memories, all flowing into my head, and I recognized each and every memory. The falling, my friends, my family, and Torrentican.

"I... I... Yes. Omnius... I'm sorry I cost you so much time. I should have listened when you told me not to take on Torrentican, but my pride got the best of me..." I hung me head in shame. Then, I felt a friendly nudge in my side.

"Don't beat yourself up over it. Now come on, lets get you home." He extended his hoof, but then I remembered something.

"Wait... The people in this base are the reason I forgot, right?"


"And they're waiting on the other side of that door, right?"

He looked at the door, then back to me. A huge smile crept across his face, and he shifted to his unicorn form. He used his magic to rip the door off the hinges, and I cracked my knuckles.

"Let's get some revenge."

"Boy I hope I'm still a good fighter..."

I had to answer this question fast as a nurse ran at me with a needle.

"Not so fast, bub." I punched him square in the jaw, and saw the shape of the gem in my wedding ring embedded in his cheek.

Omnius laughed. "You still got it!"

"Alright... I have an idea, but it involves some SERIOUS property damage." I cracked my neck, walking through the hallways to find a way to the room.

"Oh yes..." Omnius had a madman's grin on. Man am I glad I'm friends with him...

Then, more nurses came, Omnius and I stood, back to back... Er, sorta.

"Hey, Kyle... How many of them d'ya think there are?"

"A lot..." I looked at my side, at least five of them. All of them were men, except one, who was huddled in the back, a fearful look on her face. I didn't know how many were on Omnius' side.

"Alright... Lets do this..." I raised my fists. "LEROOOOOOOOOY..."

Omnius charged. "JEEEEENKIIIIIIINS..."


After an almost cartoonish fight, and barely dodging several needles, me and Omnius stood around the unconscious bodies of all of the nurses. One of them still had a syringe of sedatives in his hand, and I took it.

"Kyle... What are you planning on doing?" Omnius just looked at me. He was apparently trying to figure out my intentions, but couldn't think of anything.

"I'm going to give these losers a taste of their own medicine. Quite literally." I held the syringe up, an insane smile on my face.

"Man am I glad I met you..." Omnius chuckled, and we continued onward. We encountered no trouble, surprisingly. Then, I saw a sign on one of the doors.

"Doctor M. Frost... That's my doctor... He's the guy who gave me all the therapy and meds that made me forget everything..."

I felt all my anger from the past year release, and I kicked in the door. Frost looked up from his desk, and jumped out of his chair in fear when he saw it was me.

"W-Wha... How did you get out?"

I stepped aside, and Omnius stood there, glaring.

"What on Earth!?!? But you're just a figment of his imagination!"

"Oh really? Then how the heck am I here in front of you?"

"But... But that would mean..."

He didn't notice that I was standing right next to him. "Yep. I'm not nuts. Now, it's STABBIN' TIME!" I jabbed him in the neck with the syringe, and injected all of the sedative into him, like he had done to me many a time before. He just staggered for a second, then slumped against the wall, drool running out of his mouth.

"Night night, Goldilocks." I turned and headed for the office door. Omnius followed suit.

"Er... Are you sure you aren't nuts, Kyle?"

"Oh I definitely am. I can just control myself..." I looked back at the frame of the office door. "Most of the time..."

We let out a small chuckle. Then, we walked by a janitor closet.

"Hey, Omnius. Think you can unlock it with unicorn magic?"

"Oh, easily. Step aside..." He his horn to the lock. It glowed with a faint aura, and then I heard a satisfying CLICK as the door unlocked. I saw a janitor uniform, the pockets of which I rifled through. I found a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Then, I saw an old ring of mosquito repellent. Perfect...

"Awesome. Exactly what I needed..." I took all of the random items, and we continued on.

"Er... Why do you need cigarettes? You smoke or something?"

"Oh God no. Let's just say... I know a thing or two about how to make a timed firebomb. I just hope they have an old water heater here..."

Omnius gave me a quizzical look, and then shrugged (Well, he did the pony equivalent of a shrug.)

After a few more minutes, we found the boiler room. The door wasn't even locked. When we went down the stairs, it was almost pitch black. I lit the lighter, and after a bit of searching, I found a water heater next to the boiler. I was assuming they just left the old boiler there when they upgraded to the water heater, which looked like it was from the 1960s. Heck, it looked like they used both of them. I opened the heater, and started setting everything up.


After a few minutes of fiddling with a few things, I sat a cigarette on the mosquito wire, and placed it so that when it burned down, it would ignite the wire. I lit it, and closed the box.

"Alright Omnius, we have about an hour before this entire place goes BOOM!"

"Wait, WHAT?" He stared at me in disbelief.

"Yeah, I learned a few things about arson. It turns out, if you do what I just did, you can make an old water heater go up in flames, and with that old boiler still in use... Lets just say this place is gonna have a nice hole in it. So... Lets get out of here."

He shook his head and grinned. I grabbed onto his jacket, and I felt the pulling sensation, as I was thrust back into Equestria.

"I'm back, baby."

Chapters Next