"Who is that?" Carolina inquired, noting how Church remained silent.
"This is my former engineer, mechanic, right-and-left-hand man, robot best friend and many other titles... Lopez!" Sarge said gleefully. "It's so nice to have him back."
"[The feeling isn't mutual...]"
"Anyways, you know how I stayed back at Red Base for a bit back when we were still in Blood Gulch?" Carolina nodded in reply. "Well, I stayed back to download Lopez's personality backup onto this disc. I knew Donut and Doc did something stupid yet economical to his body, and, since my assumptions were correct, I uploaded said backup into his body and rebooted him. Now he's as good as new!"
"[And you're still elderly and insane...]" Lopez countered, though he knew nobody could understand him.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Lopez the liar!" Sister growled, storming towards the group.
"[How are you here? I left you in the caves!]"
"Yeah, well, the others came by and picked me up," Sister shrugged.
"[You were in there for way too long to survive...]" he said in disbelief.
"I ate a lot of wall salad."
"It was moss!" Washington said irately, coming up from behind her with Tucker and Caboose.
"Pft, you cops have to name everything in your own little code, don't you?" she asked.
Lopez froze in place and watched as the ex-Freelancer jogged his way up the hill and next to Sister.
"Er, what's he doing here?" Washington asked slowly.
"When we were at Red Base over in Blood Gulch, I stayed behind to pick up a copy of Lopez's AI," Sarge explained again. "I knew he kept backups of himself there in case anything happened, and Donut and Doc kept his body here as a scarecrow, so it was a simple matter of uploading the code into his body again!"
"[And I'm already regretting having made backups of myself. Things were much more peaceful when I was a scarecrow...]"
"Hey, guys! What's all the yelling about?" Donut asked, walking up to the group with Doc in tow.
"[You're here too?]" Lopez groaned in anguish.
"Lopez and I were just arguing about the fact that he promised me some E and then ditched me in the caves."
"That's not very nice, Lopez," Donut said critically.
"See? This gray guy gets it!" Sister exclaimed.
The pair looked pointedly at Lopez who simply stared robotically back at them for he could not express emotion with his face. If he could, he was quite sure his face would permanently be that of an angered and annoyed scowl.
"[How are you alive? I saw you get shot,]" Lopez grunted, changing the topic. Not that it mattered to him, seeing as he knew that any conversation with them would be unbearably idiotic.
"Oh, I didn't die! My armor just went into lockdown and preserved me, then Doc came along as soon as the lockdown wore off and patched me back up!"
"Shame we couldn't completely get those bloodstains out of your boots," Doc added.
"Yeah, I'm still kind of mad at that one guy for doing that to me. If I ever find him, I'll give him such a talking to!"
Lopez looked at Donut, and then to Washington, then back to Donut. Washington looked away and coughed.
"[He was the one that almost killed you!]" Lopez said loudly, glaring at Donut.
"What?" Donut asked, looking at Washington. After a few seconds, he turned back to Lopez. "Nuh-uh, the guy who killed me was wearing gray armor with yellow accents, this guy has blue armor and yellow accents. Totally different. Am I the only one around here with any sense of color?"
"Washington took Church's armor when he went into the Epsilon unit but kept his shoulder pads to distinguish himself from Church so the viewers would be able to tell the difference and not mistake him as Church," Caboose explained scrupulously.
"What?" Donut asked in anger, turning his pistol towards Washington. "If that's true, you owe me some new shoes, mister! Those bloodstains were a pain to get out!"
"Put your gun down. If I wanted you to stay down, I would have told the Meta to burn down you and the robot's bodies."
"Me no puedes quemar con fuego, idiota," Lopez murmured.
"What did he say?" Wash grunted.
"He said you can't burn him with fire, idiot," Sister said.
"Don't you start with me too," Wash grunted, aiming at Lopez.
"Ahora tienes dos armas apuntando a usted..." the robot grunted, mimicking Wash's action.
"He said now you have two guns pointing at you," Sister said without Washington asking. She then gasped and aimed her gun at Lopez. "Hey, I'm still not done with you! You're still holding out on me and I want what I paid for!"
"[You didn't pay for anything! You asked for some drugs and I told you to wait in the caves because I wanted you to starve and be done with you!]"
"I was totally going to pay you!"
"[With what money? We were stranded in a canyon with nothing except necessities! I'd ask if you're stupid, but I already know the answer to that one.]"
"I'm not stupid!"
"[Really? Because you're siding with a cop and you hate cops.]"
"Hey, you're right!" Sister said, then turned to aim her gun at Washington.
"[See? You are stupid!]"
"For crying out loud!" Washington growled, turning to aim at Sister.
"If you shoot my sister, I'll blow you the hell up!" Grif snapped from atop the hill next to the Pelican, aiming his Grifshot directly at Wash.
"Not you too!" Wash snapped, aiming his gun at Grif.
"Only I'm allowed to kill Grif!" Sarge yelled, aiming his shotgun at Wash's head. "Simmons, cover his flank!"
"Yes, sir!" Simmons called out, somehow standing on the Pelican, aiming his rocket launcher at Wash's back.
"I am talking loudly too! I am a part of this conversation!" Caboose yelled, spinning in circles as he fired his assault rifle in the air.
"Uh, you guys, I don't think violence will solve anything..." Doc piped quietly.
"Why aren't you aiming at him? Aren't you mad that he kept you hostage and threatened you constantly?" Simmons inquired.
"I mean, sure, yeah, but you guys basically do the same thing to each other..."
"Doc, point your gun at Wash or Simmons and I will point our gun at you..." Sarge grunted. "Besides, we need this moment to be as suspensful and one-sided as possible!"
With a sigh, Doc pulled out his plasma pistol and began to charge it, aiming it at the same target as everyone else.
"Anyone else angry at me for some reason?" Washington growled, looking at Tucker.
"You're kind of an asshole but... Nah, I think I'm good," Tucker said with a shrug.
"Now that you mention it, I kind of am still a bit pissed that you jacked my armor..." Church murmured. "But I don't exactly have a gun to aim at you with.
"Very funny," Wash hissed, not sure who to aim at, instincts refusing to let the weapon go.
"And to think you thought everyone was against you," Church chuckled at Carolina.
"Everyone put down your guns," Carolina said loudly. Nobody budged. "I said everyone put down your guns."
"We heard you the first time, we ignored you on purpose," Sarge grunted, still aiming at the male Freelancer.
"Maybe you'll listen if I aim my gun at y—" she started.
"Attention, assholes!" came a voice from above on a loud speaker, interrupting Carolina. "We have you surrounded! Put your weapons down, or we will fire!"
Looking around, the men saw that they were indeed surrounded by four tanks, at least ten warthogs with varying weapons, as well as nearly a dozen Hornets in the air and a pair of squads of men flanking each ground vehicle. Each and every one of them had their weapons trained on everyone.
"You were saying something about one-sided situations, Sarge?" Grif said sarcastically, putting his hands up in defeat.
"Shut up, Grif," Sarge mumbled.
"No need for violence, gentlemen!" an English voice said from the crowd. "We're all adults here..."
The group looked at each other, then slowly lowered their weapons, refusing to completely let them go.
"Sorry for the rude introductions, but it seemed like the only way we could break up your little tiff in a way that didn't end with any of you dying before I got a chance to speak with you," a slightly plump man with an English accent said as he strutted towards them from Red Base. He wore what appeared to be a plain gray suit, but with a single medal pinned above his heart. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Malcom Hargrove," he stated simply, holding his hand out to nobody. "But you may know me as the Chairman."
I always thought the chairman would be fat. hey can he have a mustache?
I'm just getting the feeling that Discord is intentionally gathering everyone we've ever heard of in order to mass murder then all at once to save time. Then, since we know what genre this is, it backfires horribly and they all give him a beatdown while no one with a name dies.
O_o
They actually named the Chairman? The hell did this happen?
Or is this just a name you came up with for the fic? I mean I know I haven't seen season 11 yet but I never heard anything about the Chairman being named.
3800744 Except Lopez again of course, but they would just rebuild him.
3800751
He's been named before in episode 7, season 10.
3800780
Dear God, I forgot all about that. I have the first ten seasons on DVD. How the hell did I forget that?! *bangs head into wall*
My bad then. Sorry about that.
Fucking finally. I wondered when he was gonna show up.
I almost thought that it was Wyoming at the end, but now I see it's the Chairman.
Now I think of the intros to the episodes of Season 5 (or was it Season 6? I don't recall) where the Director was sending letters to Malcom.
I forgot how funny it was that Donut and Sister were the only ones who can understand what Lopez is saying.
Was even funnier with the chained standoff until the armed fleet rolled in
You missed the detail of his salt and pepper hair, as seen in the last couple episodes RvB Recreation.
It feels like Donut understood a bit too much of what Lopez was saying, the usual joke being that he only understand the trivial stuff, but I can't complain about the payoff with that many guns aimed at Washington, so it works.
3801156 That is the point Donut does understand trivial stuff other stuff he doesn't at all which is funny.
Sweet the Chairman I always liked that guy!
The Chairman is in this story now?! I believe things just got serious
3801059 That was the Director, we've never seen the Chairman's face.
Caboose - breaking the fourth wall in Pinkie's absence.
Reminds me of one of those RVB easter eggs in Halo 4... the stage where you listen to 3 or 4 recordings of the 'science team' that was observing that area... and with the easter egg active it turns out Caboose was why the Prometheans returned due to button pressing
3801748 No, in the last few episodes of S7, we see the back of his head.
3802697
We knew he knew some spanish ages ago, however he rarely ever knows more than the first thing Lopez says, which often is a trivial thing. Then when Lopez says something directly after he suddenly doesn't understand it again.
Ah, the good 'old Mexican standoff...
Sorta.
Called it, my first thought was of course Wyoming but then reading about his appearance made me remember the chairman, its about time you did something more useful then writing letters to your ex-boyfriend
3803780
I found that Donut generally understands everything, bar threats and insults.
can't remember what sisters Spanish was like, but I thought the only Spanish donut ever understood was when Lopez was talking sarcastically and other than that knew pretty much nothing
3799944 you have a #1 in there
[from the files of the Chairman]
The encounter with the sim troops and ex-freelancers was quite strange. However, the entire situation was odd in itself. Our forces successfully surrounded them only to realize that there was no need to do so. Agent Warshington, possibly angered the sim troops and was in the process of carrying out his termination. A disappointment, indeed. I will never forget the first thing that was said once I greeted them...
3826904 also, THE CHAIRMAN HAS BEEN FOUND!
Malcom Hargrove emerges.