Chapter 63 - "Barriers"
The group landed some time later in what seemed to be a near barren wasteland of sand and destroyed buildings. Carolina told Grif to open the door and make sure nothing broke, and Grif told her that he was sure that everything was fine. Of course, he had no knowledge of it, but even though he still had a rough landing, the sand somewhat cushioned the fall, making it so nothing broke. When the door opened, the group made their way outside.
"I don't like this," Carolina said, looking around at the settled sand. There was no wind, no signs of life, no anything. "It's too quiet."
"You know, if nobody ever said that when it was too quiet, nothing bad would ever happen," Grif grumbled.
"What are we doing here anyways?" Wash asked. "I don't even think the Director knows this place even exists."
"Trust me, he knows what this place is," Church said, blinking into life in front of the group to look around. "He was in my head, and this is just like him to come here. It's hot, it's unbearable, it's uncomfortable. And it's familiar. Perfect place to cause some chaos."
"You mean you were in his head, right?" Washington asked, but Church ignored him.
"Be quiet. There could be anything laying in wait around here," Church grunted, then began to float forward. "Let's just walk around for a bit."
"But you just said there could be a trap," Washington said.
"Yeah, but if we don't trigger it, we'll never find him."
"I'll take your word for it," Carolina said, walking forward. Turning to the others, she grabbed her pistol and flicked the safety off. "Remember, if you see anything other than one of us, shoot it."
"Can I still shoot it even if it is one of us?" Sarge asked, aiming his shotgun at Grif.
"No."
Sarge grumbled and hunched down, lowering his shotgun to his waist. Carolina whipped her finger to the front of her visor, telling them to be quiet. She then made another motion and crouched down. The others followed suit. She then nodded and began to walk forward. They did this for several minutes until they inched their way to a few buildings.
"Okay, this is bullshit," Grif groaned, standing up to crack his back.
"Get down!" Carolina growled.
"No, fuck that. It's hot, I'm sweating, I have sand up my ass, and now my back hurts."
"Be quiet and get down before I make you get down," she repeated as she stood up to look back at the others.
At first, all eyes were on here, but after ten seconds, the heads began to drift and Carolina then saw that the others were looking past her. Slowly turning around, Carolina saw two aliens looking at them. Or more precisely, aiming at them with alien-looking rifles. Carolina and Washington whipped their weapons out and put their fingers on the triggers.
"Don't shoot them!" Tucker snapped, running forward and slapping both Wash and Carolina's weapons out of their hands.
"And why the hell not?" Carolina snapped back, taking an angry step towards him.
"Because if they wanted us dead, the snipers on the dunes would have already laid us the fuck out!" Tucker exclaimed, waving a hand at a large hill of sand. At the top, Carolina and the others saw a dozen alien figures holding weapons aimed at each of them. Turning to the alien with the shiniest armor, thus the one Tucker knew was in command, he cleared his throat. "Honk honk."
The purple alien and the orange alien exchanged glances.
"Honk," the orange one said, seemingly happily.
"Blargh!" the purple one grunted irately, shooting a glare at the other one, clearly not too keen on being friendly to the strangers.
"What's going on?" Carolina grunted.
"Shut the fuck up, please," Tucker hissed, turning back to the purple alien. "Blargh blargh?"
"What is he doing?" Carolina asked in a whisper, turning her head everso slightly to see Washington.
"It's a long story," Church replied, remaining in her helmet.
"Seem to be a lot of those going around these days," Washington grunted.
"Honk," the purple one murmured slowly, tightening his grip on his weapon.
Tucker grabbed the hilt of his energy sword and snapped it on, holding it to his side. The orange alien seemed to gasp, then knelt down at him. The purple one eyed him warningly, then glanced up at the ones on the edge and honked loudly. The dozen aliens at the top placed the weapons on their back and seemed to disappear.
"Honk. Honk blargh. Honk honk blargh?" Tucker inquired slowly, trying to make sure his alien was spoken in the right way. Pronounce one 'O' the wrong way and suddenly your intestines are hanging out for insulting their mother.
"Honk," the purple alien murmured, then waved him towards the catacombs with his weapon. When the group began to walk past the alien, he snapped his weapon upright and snarled the most vicious blargh they've ever heard.
"What's wrong?"
"Listen, you guys just... just wait out here, alright? I don't want you to say anything stupid that they'll misinterpret or something..." Tucker said, then turned around and looked at the alien in front of him. "Honk."
The purple alien nodded and turned around, then honked. Tucker jogged up next to him and he began to walk with the two aliens towards the building adjacent to where he believed to have seen someone die by a laser face.
"Where are you going?" Grif asked. Tucker stopped by the door as the alien walked inside and glanced back to the others.
"I have to talk to their leader," Tucker said before walking into the old, dusty, broken down alien building with the purple alien. "I'm going to ask them if they have seen anything around here that might show us the way to the Director."
"First the lazy one can fly a gunship, then the pink one can throw farther than most people can see, now the horny one can speak to aliens?" Carolina asked to nobody in particular. "What's next, does the stupid one have super strength?"
Everyone in the group slowly began looking towards Caboose. Caboose noticed that everyone was looking at him, so he coughed once and looked at Carolina.
"Simmons doesn't like being called dumb," he said in a hushed tone.
"Right," Carolina sighed.
Inside the ruins, Tucker walked with the orange alien while the purple one lead the way.
"[Where are you from, human?]" the orange alien asked in his species' tongue.
"[Oh, you know. Around,]" Tucker replied idly.
"[Not one for small talk, hm?]" he chuckled dryly.
"[Sorry, I'm just a little rusty. It's been a while since I had to speak like this. It's not exactly a language that can be used to pick up chicks.]"
"[You speak well for a shisno,]" the purple one grunted.
"[William! That is no way to speak to a guest!]" the orange one said, shocked. "[I am deeply sorry for my friend's rude behavior. He's been like this for a while now.]"
"[It's cool, just as long as he doesn't kill me and my friends... well, me, anyways...]" Tucker coughed.
The purple one shot him an angry gaze, then snapped his head back and marched on.
"[What's with him?]"
"[He's angry because his friends did die,]" the orange one said, hanging his head down.
"[Pft, doesn't mean he should be such a little bitch to me. I didn't do anything wrong.]"
"[That may be so, but we have reason to believe that a human was the one who killed them. We actually found them in this area. It's why we're here. We lost contact with them a few months back. We came here and found a group of our old friends slaughtered like they were, what do your species call them? Cattle?]" The orange alien saw Tucker tensing up and let out a sad laugh. "[Do not worry, they betrayed us. They aligned themselves with a human and they betrayed the cause. Our cause.]"
"[Peace with the humans, right?]" Tucker asked.
"[That is correct.]"
"[Well, if they betrayed you, then it's not a big deal, right?]"
"[You know our tongue, but you are not aware of our ways. Though they betrayed us, they are still family, and the loss of their lives was unfortunate. William over there swore an oath to kill the ones who killed them. Quite brutish, if you ask me...]" the alien paused, then shook his head and laughed, extending his claw-like hand forward. "[I just dawned on the fact that I too was being brutish. My name is Maximillion, pleasure to meet your acquaintance.]"
"[Fucker.]"
"[Beg pardon?]" Maximillion inquired hesitantly.
"[I mean Tucker. What I said back there was my job, hobby and life goal.]"
"[I know who you are. Your tool speaks for itself.]"
"[Bow-chicka-bow-wow.]"
"[You humans are very strange indeed,]" Maximillion mumbled. Putting his head up, he stood upright and looked at the door. "[Now, our leader is in here. I warn you, however, he will not hesitate to retaliate if you make any sudden movements.]"
"[It's okay. Him and I have history,]" Tucker explained simply, then walked in to the room.
It was a sizable room with many strange lights going up and along the walls. In the middle of the room was a large table with several elites sitting around it. Tucker recognized that it was a star map, then coughed, getting the aliens' attention. All the elites at the table snapped up and grabbed for their weapons. A silencing blargh echoed through the room, and all the aliens froze. Tucker saw the alien called William walk into the room from an adjacent one. Behind him, another alien walked in to the room and walked straight towards Tucker. The alien was wearing teal with blue-trimmed armor and it was just as tall as him. But the last time Tucker saw him, he was a lot shorter.
"Hey, Junior," Tucker said in english, throwing his arms lazily to the side. "Miss me?"
"Blargh!" Junior yelped, tackling his father-mother to the ground.
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JUNIOR!!!
Honk.
In other news blargh.
We may now blargh this message from our honk.
This is way more honk than it blargh be.
Blargh!
Blarg honk?
Blarg blarg honk blarg!!!
Hells to the ye-yah!
Blargh.
bow chicka honk honk
3754049 Why do you think I put "fucking" on it ;)
Holy shit, I fan-gasm!
030
I did not see dat ending coming
XD I would have laughed out loud, but my brother was being stupid as Caboose
GGRRrr
[Blarg honk, blarg...]
3754027 Wort wort wort
More than you know Carolina! More than you know!
Keep up the good work I can't stop laughing with each new chapter!
Yay Junior!
Ooops.
3754056 What the fuck did you just say about my mother?
3755727 Honk honk blarg.
[That she is a dirty dirty shisno.]
3755750
You will honk blargh wort wort wort blargh honk honk and then wort wort blargh wort honk honk wort.
So you should wort honk.
3755759 Honk blarg?
Blarg
3755768 Stop wort, wort blargh, honk honk.
Junior and Luna, sitting in a tree...
K-I-S-S-Blarg-Blarg-Honk!
Please make this happen...
Awwww, that last part was kinda sweet
There's a term we haven't heard in a while
I found it hilarious how Caboose was considering Simmons to be the dumb one. I remember when Caboose took out some of those Tex clones with ease; that was awesome
3754236 Oh god you just reminded me of the funniest part in RvB xD Now I'm dying from laughter.
Oh, and JUNIOR! YEAH!!!
blarg blarg honk. blarg.
3756421 i loved that part too
, but the best part for me was when Caboose tought that Andy was dead because Sarge replace him with Lopez then wih a skull 
That's funny when one of them mentioned finding another group of theirs butchered like cattle, it reminded me of season 8 when Wash and Main killed those Elites out of annoyance.
Haha junior is back thought he was gone forever but oh dear father son bonding time help us all
3755013
Well, he had to put his skill points somewhere, Carolina.
3761073
Very True!
OOOOooooh dear. What the director do?
Yay!
God damnit, I almost fell out of my chair laughing. I thought it was only a matter of time till Junior showed up.
3761073
Exactly, Though, it would have made sense if caboose put his SP in dexterity as well.
JUNIOR'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
You sir, have just made my day.
3756472 honk honk blarg, blarg honk
4492987
Blarg honk honk blarg honk blarg!!!!!!!!!!
Yay Junior!
SO, what did Junior call him, mom or dad??? It will be confusing and embarrassing to explain for either one.
And it's lightish red!