Chapter 26 - "Bar Fights"
"Who the hay are you?" Score grumbled as Hoops and Dumb-Bell helped him off the ground, catching the attention of a few ponies from the rim of the crowd.
"That's none of your fucking business," Grif stated. "What is your business is taking care of your attitude problem."
"There's no problems with our attitude," Score said with a smile. "The only problem we have right now is wondering why you think it was smart to blindside a guy when he was in the middle of talking to somepony like a weakling."
"Partially because you tried to touch my fries. I rarely offer up any food, let alone stand there while they try to take it without asking. For fuck's sake, there wasn't eve any ketchup on them yet!" Grif growled, taking a step towards them. "But it's mostly because of Fluttershy. She's doesn't deserve to be talked down to by anyone, and I'll be damned if I let you make fun of the only thing that actually seems to give a damn about my well being."
"Listen, buddy," Score muttered, wiping his nose with the back of his hoof as he gave Grif an unimpressed look. "We don't know who you are, but we suggest you walk away. Tucker here is the only one to have ever beat us in a fight, but we've been training a lot since then, and we are not going to go down easy."
"You think I'm afraid of three cockbites like you?" Grif scoffed. "I've had to deal with more than just bullies in the past. You couldn't handle what I've been through."
"Looks like you've been through a few buffets, huh?" Hoops chuckled.
"Alright, I'm going to let that one slide only because it's partially true," he mumbled, looking at his slightly above average build. "But don't think that just because I look like I have more fat than muscle means that I'm easy pickings. I still have more than enough muscle to take you guys down."
"Grif, they're not worth the trouble," Rainbow Dash growled.
"Hey, this isn't about you anymore, Crash. This is about the guy who hit me in the side of the face with no warning," Score said firmly. He then looked confused as Grif took a seat in the booth. "What do you think you're doing?"
"I think I'm giving you one more chance to walk the hell away right now and leave us alone," Grif said, not looking at them. "I want to get to these fries before they get cold."
"You're stopping? Just like that?" Hoops asked quietly.
"Just like that," he replied, grabbing the ketchup and squirting it onto the plate. "I'm sure you guys won't be missed by us if you fucked right off. A bunch of ponies are staring at us, and while I don't give a shit about my image here, I don't want to be kicked out before I get a full stomach. Also, I'm being lenient on you guys because I know that some times women are bitchy because it's their time of the month. Hell, some of the women I've met it was more like their twenty-three hours of the day. But my point still stands."
"Who are you calling-" Hoops began, starting towards Grif, only to be halted by the foreleg of Score.
"Hey now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. He's being kind enough to let us walk away, and I think we should graciously accept his offer," Score said in a hushed tone.
"Really?" Rainbow Dash asked, surprised.
"Of course. The last thing I want to do is do something to make him mad!" Score whooped, bucking the plate on the table.
In an instant, the plate of fries smashed into the wall of the bar, shattering it, as well as sending fries covered in ketchup flying outwards like shrapnel from a grenade. Grif blinked dumbly as a few fries covered in condiments landed in front of him. Picking one up, he stared at it curiously for a few seconds, then sighed as it flopped over. Tucker, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy simply stared at him silently, not sure what to expect of the orange pegasus. He may have been a lazy pony, but if there was one thing he liked just as much as sitting back and letting others do the work was eating.
"I guess we'll be going now," Score said sweetly, beginning to walk towards the crowd that was now watching them. "Don't worry, I'll tell the bar that your friend will pick it up. Hopefully she'll be a better maid than she ever was a pegasus."
"Tucker?" Grif asked, gritting his teeth as he glared at the graveyard of fries laying in front of him. He was now imagining the three pegasi walking away in the place of the fries and his shit in the place of the ketchup. "Do you mind doing me a favor?"
"Yeah, Grif?" Tucker countered with a smirk.
"Stay out of this," he said, dropping the fry on the table, then began getting out of the booth. "These cunts just made this shit personal."
"Right."
"Grif, you don't have to do this," Fluttershy said quietly, not wanting him to get hurt. "We can get you more fries. And don't worry about me. I'm fine. I'm used to it now. They've done it for all my life. That's why I don't come to Cloudsdale anymore."
"Fluttershy, there is really only one thing that I don't like about you, and it's that you're way too forgiving," Grif said, giving her a small cringe. "You see the good in everyone when it's not there. These cunts deserve to get their asses kicked."
"Well, they already did by me," Tucker coughed.
"And by Tex," Rainbow Dash added.
"Whatever," Grif waved non-caringly. "I know what it's like to get picked on, and I regret kicking the ass of everybody who picked on me in my life before now. And if these are the cunts that make you not want to come to Cloudsdale anymore, then you can bet that I'm going to set that shit straight."
"What if you get hurt?" Fluttershy asked.
"Come on. I've lived through Sarge, Tex and a bunch of other random shit. Do you really think these guys can hurt me?" Grif returned with a smile. "Don't worry about me. Just look the other way if it looks like I'm being too rough, okay?"
Fluttershy bit her lips. She didn't like violence and could not condone it in any way, even when it was to ponies as mean and as rude as those three. But the look in Grif's eyes made her feel happy. She saw that he cared for her, so she didn't want to ruin the moment. Looking at the table, she also realized that it was also about the fries. And she knew Grif loved his fries. Reluctantly, she turned to him and gave him a small nod.
"Great. Be back soon," Grif said, with a smile. Turning to Tucker he tilted his head slightly. "Hey, if a waitress come by, mind getting me some more fries?"
"No problem," Tucker chuckled, watching as Grif instantly turned around and began flapping his wings.
"Hey, I didn't catch your guys' names," Grif called out, flying after them.
"It's Score, Hoops and Dumb-Bell. Why do you want to know?" Score snorted as he neared the group of ponies, stopping short of them when he realized they were not staring at them, but rather the stallion behind them.
"So I can notify your family that you got killed over spilling a fat guy's meal," he said, tackling Score to the ground before he could turn around.
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Aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww sssssssshhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!
SHIT YES Grifs gonna kick some ass
gah i cant wait another day
NOOO!!! WHY MUST YOU DELAY THE KICKING OF THE ASS YET ANOTHER TWENTY-FOUR HOURS!?!
Grif kicking the asses of those three pricks
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/240/9/4/_gif__dis_gun_b_gud__by_aartboy-d5cp797.gif
You know Grif means business if he's getting up to do something.
Okay, you ugly, smug, jockheaded jerkasi.
You come over here and ruin a fun evening with my friends.
You cruelly mock and humiliate the nicest girl in the entire world.
AND you made me get another order of fries!
Now.... it's payback time.
These:
2360831 2360866
You FOOLS! Grif doesn't move because he's a lazy son of a gun, but when you get him rolling he's unstoppable! He's like Tex, but without the ingrained failure! The only things that can stop him now are Dues ex Machina and Plotnojutsu!
... Celestia really should make the Blood Gulchers well known throughout Equestria as elite soldiers, so crap like this doesn't happen. Because she's really not going to be happy about the blood stains on these white cloud streets. Also, chances are she's going to be paying an inordinate amount of bits on parole soon.
How dare they mess with a fat guy's food!
... Oh, and Fluttershy. Her too.
noooo the fries are dead. you will PAY!!!!
RIP: Score, Hoops, Dumbbell
Cause of death: Grif killed them all.
the blood of my enemies is the ketchup for my fries
the under dog is rising up!
Beat them to tiny pieces and then throw them in an wood chipper!
Time to play Grifball: Pony Style.
“Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.”
-Robert Jordan
2361176 Ah ha! And now instead of him being the ball carrier, HE'S THE ONE THAT SMASHES THERE HEADS IN WITH A HAMMER! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh, I'm sorry, was that too much> 
I don't think I'll be surprised if Darkwing starts the next chapter off with Grif getting his ass kicked, but the timberwolf venom makes him come back for more, scaring the piss out of hoops and company
CLIFFHANGEEERRRR!!
Grif, kick their asses for fat guys everywhere!
Then hug Fluttershy!
I wish there would be some kickass fighting music for fight scene in the next chapter.
You have experienced direct Tex related trauma with your own body. Now it's time to take what you have learned, and put it to good use. They will never have children.
2361679
ROFLMAO
2360958 They've also managed to survive being blown up multiple times, get shot with bullets that would normally tear limbs apart, fight the UNSC, help take down Project Freelancer, survived conflicts dealing with freelancers and managed to befriend three of them who were Washington- mentally unstable and ready to jump any chance he got that would benefit him. Carolina- a blood thirsty former freelancer who sought revenge and took on every obstacle in her way. Texas- the biggest baddest freelancer who that ever existed and made other peoples life a "living" hell. They also seem to have or had created some pretty deadly weapons for their amusement.
2361808 Although technically, Season Ten hasn't happened in this story.
ITS ALL KICKIN OFF NOW!
I HOPE GRIF ABSOLUTELY BATTERS THEM!
however I can't imagine him as fat, dunno why
Shit just got serious
You can mes with Maine, you can leave Wyoming in a puddle of pain, you can kick Virginia till she out on the floor But If you F*** with Fries you'll be on your knees for sure.
Tonight's news:
A platter of fries were killed in a bar earlier tonight.
In unrelated news, Three assholes were killed by a badass fat guy. Cloudsdale rejoiced
On Scores gravestone its gonna say
)
RIP Score laxoplax (
Jerk, bully and asshole
Died via severe beatings from a fat guy
Then written in ketchup at the bottom
never mess with my fries!
2361259 No, that was the perfect amount of evil laugh.
Grif took an ass-kicking from Tex and survived, they don't have a chance.
Or they'll kick his ass completely. Depends.
finaly it's time that grifs balls aren't bucked in! it's the other way around!
YAY BAR FIGHT *hits someone with a chair* TAKE THAT ps I knew it *its another person with the broken chair* WOAH 2 HIT STREAK
KNOCK OUT
Huh. It must be Frieday in their time. Explains why people are getting mad over fries.
The ass whooping begins... Look away fluttershy
Oh my. These guys just came over badmouthing Fluttershy, and now they've spilled his food over. It takes very little to make Grif happy, and they just took away two of those things- his food, and his friends' happiness.
I almost feel bad for them.
2361615 Go listen to one of the fight songs from TrocaderoFanPage on Youtube. They're the ones that made most of the RvB music.
2361615Use the Grifball theme.
2364297
Doesn't sound like a song for a fight at a club.
2360831
same thoughts here
even?
I do think that Grif used the word "Cunt" a little too much. It seems to be more of a British thing and I have never heard many Americans say it. Then again I am not from America so what would I know?
*chanting* Grif! Grif! Grif!
2365137
Season 9, Episode 18 - "Labor Pains"
Simmons: That is actually the most sensible part of this plan I've heard so far. Your years of laziness have finally paid off in full, Private Grif.
Grif: Thank you very much, Private Simmons. Now if you'll excuse me, somebody needs to be called a cunt.
Simmons: As you were Soldier.
Grif: Hey you! Yeah, you! You dumb cunts! You suck!
me "GRIF GRIF GRIF GRIF GRIF" *hits hoops over the head with a tank barrel* "die" *starts hitting him with a machine gun and then shoots him to death with it* *smiles* "its time to kick ass and chew bubble gun" *has golden pistol with nukelar sign on it* "and im all outta gum"
You and your damn cliffhangers. I saw 'Bar Fights' and I expected a bar fight, not the start of one.
Gotta give you credit, though. It keeps people coming back for more.
2364308 I say this
2364308
Dude, Grifball is Grif's theme as well. tex's song isnt for fighting but if you put it behind a fight scene its perfect. same with grif's theme.