Chapter 24 - "Living Conditions"
It took Grif less than a minute to finish his large order of fries. When he finished, he pulled his head off the plate and let out a satisfied belch.
"That was horrific," Rainbow Dash chuckled, looking at the clean plate. "How the hay did you learn to eat that fast."
"Years of practice, Dash," he said happily, patting his belly.
"I'm not sure if I should be impressed or disgusted that you can do that," she said, smiling at him.
"If you think that's good, you should see what I can do with my mouth," Tucker added slyly, sticking out his tongue in a playful manner. "When that happens, you won't be confused about whether you should be disgusted or impressed."
"Yeah, I know I'll be disgusted," Rainbow Dash said, making him scowl.
"Disgusted at how impressed you are, maybe," Tucker mumbled, finishing the rest of his first drink, just to start on his second in an instant. "You'll be all over me after that and you'll regret having waited this long. Not that I mind, of course. The longer you wait, the better it'll be."
"I'm sure I will, so I think I'll make you wait until the end of time, then it'll be the best,"
"Wait too long and I'll find somebody else to pleasure," he said, downing his second drink.
"As if anypony else would have the patience to listen to you ramble on about that stuff," she snorted, knowing he was joking with her.
"Please, listening to me talk about myself is an honor," Tucker muttered.
"Um, if you don't mind, do you think you could get me another one of these if it's not too much trouble?" Fluttershy asked.
"Alright, be back in a sec," Tucker said instantly, zooming towards the bar.
The remaining three waited until Tucker came back, this time with a tray with nearly a dozen more drinks on it. He placed two of the smaller drinks in front of Fluttershy, then put the tray of larger drinks in the center of the table. With a shrug, they began to drink, talking about nothing in particular. After sitting and drinking for nearly half an hour, Fluttershy had drank her second glass and was halfway through her third while the others were finishing the rest of the drinks.
"So how many do you think you guys are at?" Tucker asked, feeling a slight buzz.
"I'm at seven, you're at six and Grif is at four," Rainbow Dash said.
"Is everything with her a competition?" Grif asked curiously.
"Pretty much," Tucker laughed.
"I admire her knowledge of clouds to sleep on, but I can't help but feel that would get kinda annoying after awhile," he said, then turned to Rainbow Dash and flashed her a quick smile. "No offense."
"I'm comfortable enough to admit that I'm not perfect," she shrugged, then added a smirk soon after. "I'm only mostly perfect. Besides, everypony has something about them, that somepony else is bound to dislike about them. Like I bet living with you isn't all that great. Right, Fluttershy?"
"Hm?" Fluttershy muffled, shaking her head back to attention, feeling slightly distant.
"I was just saying that some ponies would think living with Grif would be unbearable."
"I don't see how," the pegasus muttered thoughtfully. "He's not loud or anything and he keeps to himself."
"That's kind of my point. He doesn't really do anything." Rainbow Dash laughed. "He just sits there. Don't get me wrong, I think he's cool and all, but I don't remember ever seeing him really thank you for watching him. I've even seen Church thank Twilight and he's kind of..."
"A dick?" Tucker suggested.
"Yeah, that," she said sheepishly, turning back to Fluttershy. "I'm just saying, he could show you some more gratitude."
"Oh, it's fine, I really don't mind," Fluttershy murmured, circling her hoof around the rim of her glass.
"Hey, I'm not angry at him for anything," she said honestly. "While he's not exactly ungrateful, he could thank you a little more for letting him stay there."
"Does Tucker ever thank you for that?" Grif inquired.
"No, but he at least has a job and helps pay for food and stuff. Sarge helps Applejack on the farm, Simmons helps Rarity make clothing, and even Caboose helps Pinkie bake," she said. "Again, I'm not saying this to cause problems. That's the last thing I want to do."
"He helps me by watching the animals when I'm not around or am too busy," Fluttershy said.
"Yeah, but that's not hard to do. And you're always going on about how your animals are so well behaved, so I doubt they'd really need to be watched."
"But-"
"She's kinda right," Grif muttered, interrupting Fluttershy's train of thought. "I mean, the animals aren't hard to watch at all. All they do is just sit there. I may have saved Angel, but you really shouldn't have to look after me just because of that."
Fluttershy opened her mouth to tell Grif that the reason she was letting him stay was because she liked him, but stopped and looked to the table, unable to find the courage to do so. She liked having Grif around, but she wasn't entirely sure that he felt the same way, and she didn't want to ruin their friendship by saying something she'd regret. She then began to think back on all the times he stood up for her and helped her out, despite him considering himself to be the laziest of stallions.
"Maybe I could try to find my own place or something," Grif said finally, making her eyes grow wide.
"You don't have to do that," Fluttershy said quickly.
"Don't worry, I'd just get Simmons to look for me," he chuckled.
"No, I mean... I like having you there. My animal friends are nice, but it's wonderful having somepony to actually talk to."
"Still," he said quietly.
Fluttershy closed her mouth and frowned, not sure what to say.
"But then wouldn't you have to get a job to pay for it?" Tucker asked.
"Shit, hadn't thought of that," Grif grunted reluctantly.
"You know, we could probably get you a job," Rainbow Dash said, laughing as the color drained away from Grif's face. "I guess that's a no, then?"
"Don't even joke about that," Grif shuddered, turning to Fluttershy. "Guess I'm staying with you then."
"Great," Fluttershy said, thankful that he was afraid of labor. "As long as you help me with my animals, I'm fine with you staying at my cottage. Honest."
"Sounds good with me," he said.
"Whelp, I'm going to go get us some more drinks," Tucker muttered, flying out of the booth. "You guys okay with more of these drinks, or do you want something different?"
"I'll stick with these," Fluttershy said, smiling calmly at Tucker before sipping the rest of her third drink.
"You sure? That'll be your fourth one," Rainbow Dash noted seriously. "Those smaller drinks are usually as strong as they are tasty..."
"I don't feel any different," she said, smiling loosely at her friend.
"Alright, be back in a few," Tucker said with a shrug.
"Hang on, I'll come with you," Grif said, flying after him. "I want some more fries!"
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Guess that clopfic you did ages ago is or will be cannon?
Just the idea of getting a job makes grif tired
Drunk fluttershy I'm calling it
Some day, Grif is going to turn that fat made out of hay fries into muscle... By wrestling one of Fluttershy's bears.
More likely with a drunk Fluttershy.
I love how you are going to break it to Grif that Fluttershy "likes" him this will be hilarious.
PS:I have the lucky seventh post.
Drink calm and flutter on.
2339558 exzactly
I'm not the only one who thinks that Fluttershy would possibly get drunk AND admit his feelings to Grif in a slurred speech, right?
Drunk fluttershy
or she quickly tells rainbow dash her feelings about Grif 
Drunkershy with lazy ass Griff will be a great adventure.
2342262 Its funny because you're wrong. That's ok though because we like you just the way you are. Maybe. I'm sure someone does anyways.
Also these four need to do the Irish drinking song skit from Who's Line. Not this particular one but you know something like it.
2342402
You do mean:
Drink calm and stutter on, right? Because you can't exactly flutter real well when you're drunk off your flank.
2342262 Sorry to mate but you seventh post not first
2342651 Fluttershy can find a way. I wouldn't doubt she could even make being drunk off her flanks heart achingly adorable.
2342226 Drunk Fluttershy = Sexy Fluttershy = Shit gets real.
2342828
Including confessions
2342565
I want this soooo much!
watch flutershy be the biggest heavyweight there
I can't help but keep wondering, how much time has actually passed outside of the memory unit and what has agent Washington being doing all that time?
Called Drunken-Shy back on the last chapter... SO FAR SO GOOD
2343653 I'm going to guess three hours.
I'm gonna guess Fluttershy is a mean drunk
YOUR GOING TO LOVE. ME!!!
What if Fluttershy doesn't become drunk? Where is your drunk pony, now, people?!
Fluttershy is having too much shots to drink.I call Drukenshy in next few chapters.
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2342795
Unless she surprises us all by being a mean drunk, and goes assertishy. Or starts making passes at Tucker and Grif...
2344889 She could find a way. I mean, she's Fluttershy. She'd probably make it adorable by being terrible at being angry and drunk at the same time.
2343682 No, the tank's name was Phyllis (F.I.L.S.S. whatever) but Church accidentally reprogrammed it to answer to Sheila. It's name was and will always be Phyllis.
Anyone thinking this might as well happen next chap?
I'm guessing fluttershy is going to admit that she likes grif and try's to get laid
Tucker is going to get kicked out of the bar again
And two certain mute fragments are going to be working as bartenders
I'm not sure if I asked this before but where is Washington? I'm sure that he was with the teams when they were retrieving the Epsilon unit, did he get arrested again or something?
I get the feeling that Fluttershy is the sort of pony that can take in loads of alcohol just fine, but then pass her limit and instantly become hammered... and I also feel that if this happens, it will be the best thing to happen to the land of drunk ponies.
Grif is helping Fluttershy though, She can list him as a dependent and save on taxes.
2348541
I forget, but in the first one, either him or Carolina came in here and killed Caboose, which led to the rest of them trying to resurrect him and accidentally bringing the fragments and Tex into the pony world.
2349521 this. this is best idea
2342227
Hey I do believe I still have a copy of that on my laptop X3
2345628 That only happened during Church supposedly going to the past, but that was later revealed to have been a complete fabrication by Gamma (Similar to the torture scenarios to make the fragments).
Basically, that did happen, but only in Church's mind, so in reality the tank really was named Sheila all along.
... My 'Somepony's Gonna Get Drunk Senses' are tingling!!
2834047 argeed, and there's going to be a revelation. And I am going to laugh my ass off at Griff's reaction to it
*sqee*
2342589 LOL! Something similar to it and I will die of laughter.