• Member Since 4th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen January 26th

Whirl Wind


Whirl Wind and Sonic Flare are preparing for Nightmare Night! When they get there, craziness ensues and they find themselves helping Princess Luna hunt down foals!

(This is my first fic so I made it short. More to come of Whirl Wind and Sonic Flare getting into more madness.)

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 4 )

Fave before read. I love OC stories (especially romances...)

EDIT: OK. When Flare said "WAEBLEGARBLE" I laughed. Hard. I am hooked. You have a good first story here. :twilightsmile:

Just a quick grammatical tip:

"I like working as a weather analyst but it can get a bit repetative (Also, you made a typo here.) after a while." He thought as he took off into the sky.

You want to restructure that bit, the grammar is wrong. In the future, write it like this:

'I like working as a weather analyst but it can get a bit repetitive after a while,' he thought as he took off into the sky.

So yeah. Lower case the 'he' if you are continuing from a thought or sentence. Double-check that you aren't using speech marks for thoughts. Make sure your capitals and spellings are correct, too. I recommend you find a pre-reader and editor from somewhere if you are serious about writing.

1563815 Also, tracking a story before reading it? :rainbowhuh: You're crazy, mate.

~Quantum/Sierra, TWE's Raging Englishman dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_rape.png

Tom (EqF) here,

I figured I'd give your stories a quick look-over while I have the time. This one's pretty good for a first story. I wasn't terribly fond of how you worded some parts (i.e. the thoughts), but that's ok. I'll give the rest of your stories a read seeing as I'm in need of some good fanfics :P

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