Time waits for nopony.
For fifty years, Shining Armor has served the Equestrian Royal Guard with distinction and has, in his own way, become as legendary as Bearers of Harmony. He has been cited for tactical brilliance and bravery in more battles than he would care to count and has trained hundreds of new guards to defend his beloved Equestria. But that time is ending.
Forced to retire despite his health and prowess he spends his last day as Captain going over his old things as he cleans out his office and reminisces about his time as a guard along with the old friends he has both gained and lost over the years. But as he does so he begins to question if what he's done with his life has really mattered or not.
Trapped in his own darkest moment, will he find the courage to move forward...?
Being uncomfortably close to retirement age -- which is not, I must note, the same thing as being close to retirement -- myself, I feel for the Captain. This story is likely to have special resonance for me, and I will stick with it.
Nothing hurts quite so much than having to give up something you love and genuinely means something to you. However, the passage of time is inexorable and merciless.
1563786 I sincerely hope I do not disappoint when this is finished.
1567308 Time waits for nopony... but hopefully what i"m planning leaves everyone happy :)
1564095 I know... believe me I know.
Phew... was honestly beginning to think I'd never get this chapter out and this story updated... but I'm not going to bore everybody with what's been delaying me, suffice to say it's been a rough couple of weeks. Thank you everybody who has given me encouragement on this story, you have no idea what it means to me so I dedicate it to all of you. Hopefully the next update won't be quite so long in coming.
Also, chapter one has been re-edited for better flow and to fix various errors.
Combination of 'D'awwwww' and Awesome. though i was disappointed when Shining Armor didn't ask Ocean mist 'what do you see?'
I also can't believe this story hasn't gotten more views. its awesome
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Thank you for the compliment. I actually considered having Shining Armor ask her that and go into the explanation as a bit of advice from one captain to another, but through four drafts of this chapter I just couldn't get it to fit in smoothly with the rest of the dialogue so eventually I dropped it and had the field be empty by that time instead.
I'm really glad you think it's awesome Thank you again!
MOAR!
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Tis in the works
not bad! i like this
isn't this now "complete"?
This was great, thank YOU for writing it.
Wonderful way to wrap it up.
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Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it 
Hopefully the "complete" tag takes this time, I may have forgotten to hit save earlier
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You've very welcome and thank you for the compliment
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Thank you again. I was a little worried about the ending when I first wrote the draft and I'm glad you liked it.
All right, so far so good, the music you chose was a nice touch, but now on to proper feedback. Even in stories that I really like I see some spelling or grammar errors. It isn't a bad thing unless it's overly noticeable and in most cases it is forgivable if the story is truly well done. In the case of this chapter I can't remember losing my place or having to make a double take to make sure I read something correctly. My dog was bothering me but that has nothing to do with the story or your outstanding grammar and spelling.
Another part of good story telling that I find many writers lacking is the ability to hook their audience. I'm the kind of reader that will be very lenient and give a book three chapters to hook me. You have successfully hooked me in one. At this point I really truly want to go on to read the next chapter, but that can wait a moment.
Also I love the well thought out laundry list of awards and commendations that Shining received. Anyone could have just said he received many awards for excellent service, but naming a large chunk of them shows thought and effort put into the world building as well as the excellent call back to canon provided by the founder's medals. Also kudos for resisting the urge to have the Order of the Pudding Hat.
Well on to chapter two.
Well other than a couple little spelling hiccups we're still going strong. If I hadn't been hooked already they might have bothered me, but here we are ready for chapter three... in a minute.
I will always have a special place in my heart for Cadence. Mostly I think it's the secret hoof shake she has with Twi(sunshine sunshine, ladybugs awake!), but... it's also fan labor that has an effect. I don't think I'm terribly odd when I say that while I like the show, it's the fandom itself that I've truly fallen in love with. As such this has to be one of my favorite iterations of Cadence. If only because of your well written interactions with her husband. The words she uses allow me to believe that she truly cares for Shining.
That said, I will admit I'm not the biggest Shining Armor fan...freaking Fluttershy is manlier than him... Anyway in spite of my personal dislike of him this story has made me care what happens to him. So kudos for making me care about a character I usually only like seeing brushed aside for Cadence/Chrysalis shipping... Shut up, I think they're cute...
Well on to chapter three...
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I'm glad you approve of the song choice. Music is extremely important to me, it always has been and nearly every story I've ever written -- either fanfiction or those that I hope to publish one day -- have one or more "theme songs" to them because it helps me set the mood in my own mind. I can't sing to save my life, but that's beside the point. As for the spelling and grammar errors, I need to go back and re-edit this story at some point in the future (and get a cover pic for it too!), I just haven't gotten around to doing so, but I'm happy that none of them were so glaring as to completely detract from the reading of it.
I'm like you on that aspect too, I give a book usually three to five chapters to reel me in and it's awesome that I was able to hook you in one! If you can believe it, I actually debated for a good long while on what to do with the award and commendation list, but in the end like you said, I wanted to do something different and also bring in some world building that tied in to canon. The Founders Medals will also show up in other stories I have planned and I've actually come up with the reasons for why each one is awarded. As for Puddinghead, I realize that that was probably added in for some levity, but I never liked that name.
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I'm like you on that, the secret hoof shake is cute (and that picture of Derpy and the muffin is just adorable!). Cadence' dialogue was actually really hard to write because I was afraid it was going to come across as either sappy or cheesy the first time I put it together and it went through about five or six iterations before I was finally happy with it. Hearing that it is actually someone's favorite iterations of the characters really makes the effort worth it to me and I can't tell you how much that means.
As for Shining Armor... my opinion of him fluctuates from time to time but I like him as a character and I'm glad the story made you care about him even if you normally dislike him. For me, that is a huge win. As for the Cadence/Chrysalis shipping... you know... you might be onto something there. Of course, I must admit that I like Chrysalis as a villain but I also like stories where she gets redeemed/accepted into Equestrian Society or where she is made into a sympathetic character rather than a psychopath. But that could just be me cause I'm a huge sucker for redemption stories.
3715755 The pic of Derpy is just fun because the first time I saw it I thought of little Derpy singing "Sunshine sunshine, lady bugs awake, clap your hooves and... I broke my muffin again!"
Dust Storm amuses me, he's just the kind of captain I would expect Shining Armor to have. Speaking of Shining... silly fool, no one should be too embarrassed to stare at his hot wife's plot as she's walking away. Of course that's a critique of the character, not the writing... Twilight is Twilight, so that's good... Though I have to ask... Did she get her husband at Quills and Sofas?(It really is the store with the worst business plan in Ponyville. Though that might be an interesting idea for a fanfic... Yep I'm going to write it... of course that might put my other writing project on hold as well...phbt. Right back to proper feedback.)
Um... well... there's... on to chapter four?
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Glad you liked Dust Storm and no, Twilight didn't get her husband at Quills and Sofas (yes, I agree with your commentary on its business plan). In my world setting, she's married to a unicorn stallion named Quill Pen. That's a story in and of itself which I shall, hopefully, write one of these days.
Alrightalrightalrightalright! I really like Ocean Mist as Shining's successor, she is a good pony... that said I have to say right here and now, "I want to see the further adventures of Dawn Scout!" That said, don't feel like I'm pressuring you to write anything. I don't want to be that kind of fan that constantly bothers an author for something they don't want to write or aren't inspired to do. My quote is only so I can illustrate a point about myself and how I view minor characters in all forms of media.
My point is this, I straight up love it, when a minor character is so interesting and unique that I want to see more of them and their story. To raise a few examples here it goes:
One: Neville Freaking Longbottom from the Harry Potter series. I would love to see a spin off series of his adventures after the fall of what's his name...
Two: This one has actually already been done... not well but it was done. When I was growing up I always wanted to see some back story for Obi Wan Kenobi... yeah so much for my high hopes... Also Yoda but... yeah, high hopes...
Three.Buzz Mcnab, from the TV series Psyche... I would love a spinoff series... but it would be terrible... maybe he could get one really good episode...
Four. Youngster Joey, from the pokemon game series... I want to see that top percentage Rattata get some real character growth... okay this one is kind of a joke but nyah...
Five: TK-421, That clone had a freaking family and Some rebel scum just flat out murdered him... maybe, Lucas did go crazy and tried to make us think Greedo shot first so maybe TK-421 was only lightly pummeled into drowsy unconsciousness and then woke up later... because Vader is totally forgiving of freaking clones that show up out of uniform in the middle of his fight with his old teacher... But even in that case he would still have been killed when Luke blew up the Death Star... I wonder how many people Luke actually murdered with that one lucky shot... and they say the Empire are the bad guys.
Six: Doomed Traveler. A creature card from the TCG Magic the Gathering... guy has a story... he's going somewhere... and even death won't stop him...
All that said, if I can fall in love with a minor character to the point that I want to see more of them then... Wow either your main characters are boring as Hell(not in your case) or you subscribe to the thought that there are no small roles, only small actors, and as such similar care is taken in writing them as with the major characters(This one is you... or at least it seems like it) I suppose it helps having a small cast of characters, but here we are. Dawn Scout is best cadet, because Shining Armor said so... Suck it other cadets!
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Trying to come up with names for ponies is always an exercise in craziness for me... cause there's a fine line between the three points of them being appropriate, silly and outright strange so I try to make them up the best I can. So far I think I've been pretty successful. On top of that, I try to make OC's that people are going to like and -- hopefully -- relate to without making them come off as overbearing, perfect, boring or all-powerful. In that regard, I'm really glad you like Ocean Mist as her dialogue was really fun to write... especially the big run on sentence when she's given leave to speak.
As for Dawn Scout, I'm really glad you liked her and that you'd like to see more of her... maybe one of these days I will actually do a story that involves her and maybe follows her journey through the Royal Guard of Equestria but for now, she's just a cute little filly who wanted to do something spectacular and was given the opportunity to do so. The fact that you really enjoyed the way I wrote her does my old heart good! You are correct in your assessment though. When I write in a character, I want them to have a purpose in being there even if it is just for a line or two, because there really are no small roles, only small actors and if I'm going to take the time to put them in there, I want their inclusion to have some meaning.
As The Doctor once said: "I've never met anyone who wasn't important to someone."
Great examples, btw, especially Obi-Wan Kenobi as he is a particular favorite of mine.
I really liked this. Nice world building, and excellent character...is exposition the right word?
One question though; you mention that shining armor is 65 summers in age, then that he is about to have his 55th birthday. Is that a typo?
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Thank you, I"m glad you enjoyed it and I'm glad the world building came through. I'm not sure exposition is the right word... maybe character study? But even that seems incorrect... I'd have to think on it honestly.
As for Shining Armor's age, yes, that was a very glaring typo... and this story is in horrific need of revision and polish, but I am still glad you liked it. Thanks again!
3719315 That would be nice... I would read it anyway...
3733423 Hell worst comes to worst I will write the further adventures of Dawn Scout(Only if permission were granted of course because there would be use of other characters and situations from this story as well...)... after I at least get my own Fic off the ground. Yeah so... I'm gonna give you a shout out on that one by the way. You didn't directly influence the story but in one of my earlier comments I found myself inspired to write it so in a way you did help inspire me to start writing.
Nice quote from the Doctor. You know, I haven't really admitted this to anyone, but I've learned as much about the Doctor after becoming a brony as my niece who actually watches the show. I don't watch Doctor Who, but I have read many MLP fanfics on the subject. Also I might start watching the show but... who knows?
FREAKING FANTASTIC!
I remember a spelling error from the first paragraph. I had to read that paragraph again to find it because I forgot until the end.(You wrote the word "spine" when I think you meant "spin" because nopony should put their spine on things in polite conversation.) That was how engrossed in the story I was! I love your writing and I can't wait to read more.
I love the creed and I can just imagine an army all reciting it at once. I adore all the princesses' parts in the ceremony(Luna Most of all but that's bias)
I love the armor and the reference to sensitive wings and the intimacy of handling a pair belonging to another pony. Also Ocean Mist's hiring of Shining Armor as her adviser was executed beautifully. It could have so easily fallen into the realm of being forced or trite, but it felt unexpected and natural after all the build up.
So many ways to say I flipping love this story. Every chapter was great and emotionally sincere. This chapter was a truly amazing way to finish the story started by the others.
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Wow... just... wow... nobody's ever actually asked me for permission to make use of one of my OCs before. I can't even begin to tell you what kind of a compliment that is! If you'd care to write about Dawn Scouts adventures, please feel free to do so (I've got the basics for her character written down which I'd be happy to send to you). And thank you for the shout out, it does my old heart and soul good to know that I can inspire someone either directly or indirectly! Let me know when you get your fic off the ground, I'd love to read it.
As for the Doctor, I've been a fan of Doctor Who since the early 80's when I stumbled upon the series as a kid. I don't know for sure whether he was ever intended to be included in the fandom or not, but much like some of the other "easter eggs" I think he's here to stay. Glad you liked the quote and if you ever start watching that one too, I think you'll enjoy it.
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As a writer, I love to hear commentary on my work. Good comments let me know I'm doing something right and bad comments let me know what I need to work on, so all the commentary is good. When I get comments like the one above, it really makes me happy because I know that I've not only done something right and put out a quality story that has been enjoyed, but it also means that I succeeded in my task as a storyteller by putting the emotion and connection into the story that I was shooting for in the first place.
Thank you very much! Really happy to hear that my story was engaging and that you enjoyed the writing style.
I'm also Luna bias, generally, though on occasion I like Celestia. As for the bit about the captains armor, when it shows up canonically that the captain wears a distinctive armor from his troops, my mind immediately tells me that there is something unique about it beyond its appearance so having it be a relic just made sense; this may also have something to do with an extensive RPG background. I'm glad you enjoyed that little detail cause it was a lot of fun to write.
The Creed went through about a dozen iterations before I was happy with it, some were longer, some were shorter and in the end I finally hit that compromise point where it didn't sound too pompous, too weak or too insincere. And considering there were something like 3000+ ponies on that parade ground reciting it at the same time, I figure it probably made a pretty good impression. As for taking Shining Armor on as an adviser, the first iteration of this chapter actually left that out and had him walking off into the sunset with Cadence and the Mane Six, but the more I re-read it the more it just fell completely flat so I scrapped it. Ocean Mist and Twilight had actually planned the whole thing out behind Shining's back (as was eluded to in chapter 4) and I'm glad it came across the way I meant it to; as a reward for years of loyal service mixed with a token of admiration as opposed to something that they were doing 'just because they had to' or worse, because they felt sorry for him.
And yeah... putting down spines in a polite conversation probably wouldn't be too polite... but it would definitely get you attention. I'll make sure to correct that one when I finally get time to do the necessary revisions on this
3838716 Okay well for one I got the prologue up with some trouble(I posted it really late at night and I didn't take a really good look at it before releasing it to the world), but I got a really cool comment on a lot of grammar and various little mistakes I made so those are fixed. And yeah that would be really awesome to see the Dawn Scout info. That is one of the biggest things for me that I would want to stay true to the character I fell in love with.
3838772 You are quite welcome. I'll admit that I am quite easy to please when it comes to stories in film, television, and literature. However I very rarely find something that I enjoyed so much that I have written paragraphs of commentary detailing how much I loved it. It's funny that while this is my second favorite fanfic I've read so far(that might change I'm really getting into one called End of Ponies...) I still didn't leave as much feedback on my favorite. I figure just because it was a single chapter comedy that didn't take as much text to list off my favorite parts of it. So yeah...
Oh and so you don't have to ask... if you were... the favorite fanfic I was talking about is called Derplicity. maybe not your cup of tea but Whenever anyone asks me to point them toward a good comedy this one is at the top of the list.
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I haven't had a chance to read over the prologue yet, things have been swamped like nobody's business the last few days with the weather and with class, but I'll get it by this weekend and get you some commentary on it as best I can, I look forward to seeing what you've come up with!
I know what you mean, I'm easy to please when it comes to most media too, primarily because I judge it on whether I was entertained or not and like yourself, its not often I put a lot of commentary beyond one line or so to let the author know I enjoyed it, but when I do, I tend to go all out. Glad to be amongst your favorites here! I've read Derplicity too and it amused me greatly, one of my faves as well, haven't read End of Ponies though, but I'll give it a look see.
Thank you again for all the commentary, I really appreciate it! Also, Dawn Scout's info will be coming to you via PM.